morgan what are you doing man

The silver bitch

- We killed them all, right? - asked Daryl

He nodded at his brother, he almost died in that fucking car crash but hell,it would have been worthy if all those saviours died.

- Asshole, do you copy??

Both of them jumped at the same time, it was someone talking from a radio. A walkie- talkie.

- Asshole, I repeat. Do you copy? A silver bitch killed them all, walkers and the rest of us, fucking shit. The majesty, the big one and the fucking bitch escaped, you hear me? 

He looked at Daryl. The man was glowing with pride. 

The silver bitch.. their Carol. A force of nature as he has told Morgan all those months ago.

- That’s my girl- whispered Daryl

He didn’t react. He acted like he hasn’t heard anything at all. He didn’t know what those two were but they were like cubs trying to learn to walk.

- Come on, man. We need to keep going… she’s okay. They are okay- he said

- Course she is, man- said Daryl- A fucking warrior stronger than all of us. 

- Yeah she is, man. She is

Penelope & Derek’s Matchmaking Service

Originally posted by theonewiththevows

Prompt: The reader and Reid both have a crush on the other person but are too scared of ruining their friendship to tell the other person. Penelope decided to give them a little push and drags Derek into her mischevious scheme.

A/N: This was an idea that popped into my head because I could definitely see Morgan and Garcia meddling in their coworkers love lives. I’m not opposed to making a part two of this, so let me know if that’s something that you would want. Also, anyone who can catch the subtle F.R.I.E.N.D.S. reference that is in here somewhere is my favorite person ever. Enjoy :)

Note: (Y/F/C) = your favorite candy

Warning: nothing

Word Count: 3k

Rating: PG


Penelope sighed in frustration as she watched you and Spencer alternate staring at each other. It was almost painful the way that neither of you actually caught the other doing so. It was like some form of fate caused you to look away a second before Spencer decided to look up. Derek noticed her standing in the doorway. “Hey Baby Girl,” he called and walked over to her. She muttered a “hello” before huffing and crossing her arms. “Whoa whoa whoa, what’s the matter gorgeous? Those processing systems in that big brain of yours hung up on something?”

“How does it not drive you crazy?” she mumbled and Morgan raised an eyebrow at her. 

“How does what not drive me crazy?”

“The two of them!” she whisper-shouted and spun around walking off toward her lair. Derek rolled his eyes, but obediently followed her down the hall. 

“Gonna need a little more information sweetness,” he told her, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Oh c’mon, do I need to spell it out for you? (Y/N) and Spencer. The way those two are pining after each other it’s both sickening and sweet at the same time. I’m not even a profiler and I can tell that they are head over heels. I mean I know (Y/N) is because she told me one night when I got her super drunk with the intent of forcing the information out of her, but that is beside the point,” Penelope explained as she pulled up the bullpen’s security video feed and maneuvered the cameras so they were facing you and Spencer’s desks. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m people watching.”

“Do you do this all the time?” Morgan asked standing behind her chair.

“Only when we don’t have a case or anything else to do,” Penelope defended, “You would not believe how boring it gets in here and you people never come visit me!” 

“But why- you know what nevermind. Just please tell me that you don’t mess with the cameras in my office.”

“My vision, you are the object of my affection but for the most part my attentions have been focussed on my current OTP as you never do anything interesting in your office.”

“Forgive me for actually doing work instead of making googly eyes at my coworkers.”

“So you have noticed!”

“Of course I’ve noticed. The whole team has noticed. The only ones in the dark about it are the two of them,” Derek chuckled. Penelope smiled as she watched the two of you. You had gone over to ask Spencer something, but he had been so focused on his work you’d startled him and he’d almost spilled his coffee all over himself. 

“They are so cute,” she sighed, “Derek I want my OTP to be together!”

“Somehow I don’t think we get a vote or have the power to make that happen,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. Penelope suddenly perked up. 

“But what if we did?”

“What are you talking about?” he asked as she spun her chair around. 

“What if there was a way that we could force Reid’s hand and make him admit something or ask her out?”

“Baby Girl, Reid has specifically told me that he doesn’t want me messing with this. You think I haven’t tried to get him to make a move?”

“He told you that, but he never told me,” she chirped, turning back toward her computer and started typing away. She pulled up a website for custom floral arrangements and started clicking on various options. 

“What are you doing?”

“Creating something that all of you men hate. Competition,” she replied, patting the side of his face. A few more minutes of meddling the order had been placed, ready to be delivered tomorrow morning. 

“Why do I get the feeling I’m going to be the one he blames for this?” Derek sighed shaking his head. 

“Ha, do not worry my vision. If all goes bad, we pretend like it never happened,” Penelope told him.


You walked into the bullpen the next morning smiling happily as you carried two cups of coffee. You glanced around looking for Spencer, before nonchalantly setting one of the cups down on his desk and arranged the mountain of sugar packets you’d also brought into an orderly pile. You quickly scurried back to your desk and sat down, trying to look casual as you waited for Spencer to arrive. “No coffee for the rest of us, I’m genuinely hurt,” Derek teased, as he sat down on your desk.

“Hey, the only order I remember is Spence’s because it’s the easiest thing ever: a large black coffee and then just bring the whole container of sugar to him,” you replied trying to casually look around him. 

“Uh huh,” Morgan muttered, clearly unconvinced. 

“Good morning,” Reid said as he walked over to his desk past the two of you. 

“Hi, Spencer,” you chirped, “I stopped for coffee this morning and brought you some.”

“Thank you so much, you would not believe the morning I’ve had. How much do I owe you?”

“Don’t worry about it,” you replied tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“Well, thank you. Did you know that coffee was banned three times in three different cultures: once in Mecca in the 16th century, once when Charles II in Europe banned the drink in an attempt to quiet an ongoing revolution, and once when Frederick the Great banned coffee in Germany in 1677 because he was concerned people were spending too much money on the drink,” he rambled. You smiled and shoved Morgan off of your desk, so you could actually see Spencer. 

“Well, I didn’t know that, but I do know that banning coffee should be a crime,” you giggled. Reid smiled back at you and opened his mouth to say something but suddenly went pale. “What’s-”

“I have a delivery for a Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” a man said cutting you off. 

“That would be me,” you replied, turning around. “What can..I..do..” you stuttered as you came face to face with a huge vase of lilies and red roses. 

“Sign here please,” the delivery man said, handing you a clipboard and setting the vase down on your desk. You scribbled your signature down on the form and handed it back to the man. “Have a nice day,” he said walking away. 

“Yeah, you too,” you muttered still too focussed on your flowers. 

“Oh my god, those are gorgeous,” JJ mentioned as she walked over to your desk. 

“Who are they from?” Emily asked, joining the two of you.

“I have no idea,” you replied, pulling the card off the side of the vase. 

“Read it,” JJ urged leaning in closer. None of you noticed that Spencer had unconsciously leaned closer to the group as well trying to listen. 

“Nothing can ever compare to your beauty, but these flowers are certainly a nice way to compliment it. I hope these make that lovely smile of yours appear on your face, signed your secret admirer,” you read out loud and closed the card. 

“Oooh, this is interesting,” Emily said nudging your shoulder. 

“Any idea who it could be?” JJ asked. 

“Not a clue,” you replied, sitting back down in your chair, “I’m not seeing anyone and no one has asked me out recently.”

“Anyone who you hope it is?” 

“Yeah, but considering he hasn’t shown the slightest sign of interest I’m pretty sure it isn’t him,” you mumbled. Unbeknownst to you, Spencer had wandered away into the break room fuming. This happened every time he’d finally work up the courage to ask you out on a date or flirt with you at all something would happen. Morgan would come interrupt,  Hotch would suddenly announce that you had a case, or in this case, some jerk would write you poetry and send you flowers. He downed the rest of the coffee that you had bought him and started making another cup. 

“You ok, Pretty Boy?” Derek asked watching Spencer stir the coffee quite angrily. 

“Just peachy,” Spencer growled. 

“Ya know, you could just ask her out. (Y/N) has no idea who sent her those flowers,” Derek casually mentioned. 

“Ha yeah right, I’m reasonably certain she’d rather have fancy flower man whoever he is,” he grumbled. 

“Fancy flower man? Really Reid, that’s the best you can come up with?” Derek asked trying not to laugh. 

“I have plenty of other vulgar things I could call him so don’t push it.”

“Hey, I’m not the one encroaching on your girl, but I would recommend you do something about it before you loose her to fancy flower man.”

“You think I should what?”

“Well, you’re her friend. I’m pretty sure you can find a way to top the giant array of flowers that he sent her.”

“I definitely could,” Spencer muttered, deep in thought, “I need to get to work but first I’m going to get Garcia to figure out who sent those to her.”

“Uh,” Derek stuttered, trying to come up with a way to divert him, “Why does it matter who it is? You should be more concerned with your plan to woo her, you can worry about who it was later.”

“You’re right. I’m going to take my lunch early. I need to go get a few things,” Spencer said and quickly rushed back to his desk to grab his wallet. Derek sighed in relief, happy that he’d managed to redirect Reid’s thought process, and made himself a cup of coffee. Your sudden presence in the break room caught his attention. “And where are you going lady of the hour?” he asked sipping his coffee.

“I’m grabbing another sugar for my coffee and then I’m going to get Garcia to find out who this admirer person is.” Derek did a spit take and started coughing. “Whoa, you ok?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. But maybe you should just let this play out? See if he reveals himself to you?”

“Derek, I just want to know who it is so I can tell him I’m not interested. There’s only one guy who’s attention I want and he seems to not really care.”

“Sweetness, Reid is a great guy just a little awkward and shy when it comes to ladies, you might try being a bit more obvious about it,” he teased. You furrowed your brow and slowly turned your head toward him. 

“How did you know I have a crush on Spencer?”

“I’m a profiler and I’m really good at my job.” Derek replied.

“Yeah sometimes I forget what we do for a living.”

“And the fact that Penelope can’t keep her mouth shut,” he muttered quietly to himself. Just not quiet enough.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing!”

“I’m going to kill her!” you growled and stormed off toward Penelope’s office. 

“No no no, wait!” Derek shouted as he chased after you. You tore the door open and walked in. 

“Hello my lovely, what can I do for you today?” Penelope chirped. You narrowed your eyes at her before flicking her on the side of the head. 

“OW!” she shrieked. “What was that for?” 

“I cannot believe you told Derek that I like Spencer. I told you that in confidence and you swore you wouldn’t tell another soul,” you fumed.

“Technically you told me that while you were drunk.”

“Same thing!”

“But you know I tell my chocolate thunder everything, so you should’ve expected this.”

“Ugh, my life is over,” you whined. “Spencer is still acting weird and now some stranger has sent me flowers. Can you make yourself useful and tell me who sent those at least?”

“I take offense to that comment!”

“Who told shared a secret that she swore she would take to the grave?”

“Fine,” she muttered, “but I already know who sent them. I looked it up earlier.”

“Then who is it?”

“It’s uh, Brian in payroll,” 

“Brian in payroll?”

“Mhm,” she mumbled, twisting a piece of hair around her finger.

“Uh huh, does Brian in payroll have a last name?” you asked crossing your arms.

“Yes, yes he definitely does.”

“Yeah? What it is then?”

“Well, I can tell you that it is most certainly not Morgan or Garcia.”

“Penelope,” you groaned. “Why would you do that?”

“I’m just trying to spice it up, you know force our dearest doctor’s hand.”

“Yes and in doing that you’ve managed to scare him. He took off fifteen minutes ago,” you grumbled flopping down in the chair beside her. 

“Aw, sweets it’s gonna be ok.”

“My life is over.”

“Hey look on the bright side, at least you got some bitchin flowers,” she said trying to lighten the mood. You lifted your head and glared at her.

“Not funny.” 

“(Y/N), you need to get back to your desk and take a look at this,” Derek said as he walked into Penelope’s office.

“And you! You knew she was going to do this and you didn’t stop her,” you growled and stalked over to him, poking his chest. 

“As upset as you are right now, I really think you should just go back to your desk. You might like what you find,” Derek replied pushing your hand away. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“If this is another part of this BS plan you two have going on, I’m going to kill you both,” you grumbled, stalking down the hallway. 

“What are you doing?” Penelope whispered at Derek, as they followed you. 

“Just watch,” he replied with a smug look on his face. You were expecting to see yet another bouquet of flowers that the two of them had sent to you, but you certainly weren’t expecting this. Your desk was scattered with various pieces of paper and rose petals. A large white teddy bear was sitting in your chair with a bouquet of gardenias nestled in its arms and a bag of (Y/F/C) tucked in beside it. You stood rooted in place out of surprise until Derek gave you a slight nudge. You walked forward and picked up one of the pieces of paper. You smiled as you recognized Spencer’s handwriting and started reading. It was a poem by Christina Rossetti, one of your favorites actually “I loved you first”. You had talked about this with Spencer months ago, when you both discovered your shared love of poetry. From the looks of it, he had managed to write down all of your favorite poems on these little notes (probably including a few of his own favorites) and put them all over your desk. You plucked the bouquet of gardenias out of the bear’s arms and smelled them. 

“Red roses traditionally symbolize love and passion while gardenias’ symbolize pure, secret love which more accurately displays how I feel about you,” Spencer mumbled from behind you. You immediately spun around and dropped the bouquet back in your chair, before throwing your arms around his neck and crashing your lips into his. He seemed to be stunned for a few seconds, before kissing you back and wrapping his arms around your waist. Hoots and hollers came from all around the office, mainly from Penelope and Emily. You separated a little breathlessly and rested your forehead against his. The pair of you were smiling from ear to ear. “Please tell me this isn’t a dream,” he muttered closing his eyes. 

“Nope,” you replied popping the “p”, “I’m real.”

“So I take it you like me too or else I think you’ve been sending some very mixed signals.” You chuckled and kissed him again. 

“Does that answer your question?” you asked, after you’d pulled back. 

“I think it does, and to think I had a whole speech planned out to make you at least go on one date with me,” he replied scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. You just shook your head and smiled at him.

“That’s so sweet, but how on earth did you have time to set this up? I couldn’t have been gone more than fifteen minutes,” you said, turning slightly to look at your desk,

“14 minutes and 23 seconds actually, but I’ve had the notes sitting in my bag for about a week now,” he told you. 

“Ok, that’s enough, back to work all of you,” Hotch said, commotion having finally drawn him out of his office. There was a collective “sorry” muttered from around the office, before Hotch turned his attention to the two of you. “Do we need to have a conversation or can I trust that this isn’t going to affect work?”

“I think we’re good,” you answered. 

“Good, now I need to call Dave and inform him that he owes me twenty bucks as do the two of you,” Hotch chuckled motioning JJ and Emily. The two women groaned slightly before reaching for their purses. 

“Wait, what?” Spencer asked raising an eyebrow, keeping his arms wrapped around your waist. 

“To make a long story short, we started a pool going for how long it would take the two of you to get together after three months of watching the two of you flirt. I had yesterday, Hotch had today, Rossi had tomorrow, and JJ had next Monday,” Emily explained as she walked up the stairs and handed the money to Hotch, who gladly pocketed it and went back in his office to presumably call Rossi who was off on vacation time. 

“I cannot believe this! How many people in this office are invloved in our love lives?” you cried in frustration, even though you were smiling. 

“Wait, who else is involved in our love life?” Spencer asked, looking down at you confused. 

“And that’s our cue to run chocolate thunder,” Penelope muttered, as she took off running dragging Derek along behind her. You shook your head and laughed, all irritation suddenly vanishing. 

“Wonder what that was about,” Reid thought out loud, as you unwound from his arms and moved all his gifts out of your chair. 

“Don’t worry about it, just remind me to tell Brian from payroll to send her some flowers,” you told him. He looked very confused but just shrugged and kissed your forehead. You grinned up at him, knowing that this was the start of one of the best times in your life. 

Romcoms are boring and predictable and here's how we salvage the genre

Okay, so I’m sure we’re all sick of the standard shitty (kinda really sexist) romcoms that get churned out all the time so HERES HOW WE SALVAGE THE ROMANTIC COMEDY GENRE.

No more fuckin generic movies where a Ryan Reynolds lookalike has to learn how to stop having one night stands and settle down with a generic girl who is New To The Big City.

We’re instituting a ban on every movie with discount Sandra Bullock having to Find A Man before she turns 40, with a dash of sexist ideas about career oriented women not being happy.

You know what we do instead?

MORGAN FREEMAN IS A GENTLEMAN THIEF PREPARING FOR RETIREMENT. He started out conning paperboys out of their lunch money and now he’s one of the world’s most infamous art thieves. “One last job,” he tells himself. But he can’t do it alone…

ENTER DAME JUDI DENCH, RIVAL ART THIEF FROM DAY 1. She’s planning on retiring to a small villa in the south of France, and she figures “why the hell not?” Little does she know that Morgan Freeman has held a torch for her since the day she first stole his stolen lunch money along with his bike.

BUT SANDRA OH IS THE LESBIAN COP IN PURSUIT OF THE THIEVES. She and her wife (Laverne Cox) are on their honeymoon when those fucking art thieves decide to steal the roof of the Sistine Chapel, and nobody else believes the plot is real!

And that is how we make a genuinely enjoyable romantic comedy.

Imagine being in a secret relationship with Jensen, who is older than you, and your father, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, walking in on the two of you doing it. (Part 2)

Read Part 1 here!

“You can’t do this to me.” you growled, crossing your arms over your chest and fighting the tears. You didn’t know what to feel in the first place anger at how irrational your father was or pure pain at being held away from the man you loved?

“Oh yeah? Watch me.” Jeffrey said with a tight smile as he put on his coat.

“I’m not a freaking teen for you to ground, dad!” you exclaimed, walking after him “I’m 24 freaking years old, you can’t just do this to me! So what if I don’t stay in my room, are you gonna lock me in the house too?”

“Exactly.” he said with a glare “If you can’t see your mistake it is my job, as your father, to take matters into my own hands!”

“You can’t control my life, you know that right?!” you shouted as he went on with his routine, jaw firmly set “I’m not a little girl anymore! You are my father, yes, and your opinion will always matter the most to me but you can’t just boss me around because you don’t like my decisions! Especially when it comes to my love life, dad!”

“Love life.” he muttered with venom before laughing bitterly “Love life. Your love life includes a man almost double your age that is friends with your own father and would work with him!” he roared and you clenched your jaw, tears welling up in your eyes.

Keep reading

Relax

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Derek Morgan x Reader (Criminal Minds)

Summary: [requested by anon]: derek morgan and the reader are in an open relationship (specific details explained!) and he teaches spencer how to eat a girl out by letting him practice on her.

Word Count: 1,670

Warnings: smUT ;)

Other Notes: i made morgan and the reader in a open relationship so i hope that’s ok! 

also, whenever i get my masterlist up (whenever that faithful day comes) i’ll put this under both spencer reid & derek morgan

“You’re trying to tell me you’ve never hooked up with a girl, not even once?” Derek Morgan asked his best friends, who was sitting across from him.

“No, Derek, not even once,” Spencer said, a little bored of this conversation.

“What about college?”

“I was 14 in college and barely hitting puberty, I wasn’t going to frat parties and doing keg stands!” He rolled his eyes.

“Oh. Right. Well, if you were to, would you know how to pleasure a girl?”

Spencer gave him a dumb stare, and Derek laughed. “Ok, that makes sense.”

He was silent, and Spencer finally turned back to the papers in front of him, until Morgan began talking again. He looked up, pleading with his eyes to end this discussion.

But Morgan wasn’t having it, “What if I were to teach you?”

“How would you do that?”

The man was deep in thought, his thick eyebrows furrowed together. “I might have an idea.”


The next day Morgan rushed into the BAU, and found Spencer at his desk like usual. He ruffled the younger man’s hair to get his attention. Spencer scowled at him. “It is way too early in the morning for this.”

“Pretty boy, I have got a solution for your problem.” He was grinning a little too widely for Spencer’s liking.

But Reid decided to humor him, “What?”

“Y/N.”

“Your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, I told her about what we were talking about yesterday, and-“

“You told Y/N about my sex life!” Spencer hissed quietly, careful not to attract the attention of nearby agents.

“I believe you mean drastic lack of one,” Derek replied. That made Spencer quiet, but still annoyed. “And she came up with an idea. I’ll be your teacher, and she’ll be your practice run, getting you ready, you know.”

Spencer was confused. Had Derek just told him to have sex with his girlfriend? “I…,”

Derek saw his obvious hesitation, and pulled up a chair to explain, “Y/N and I are in an open relationship.”

“How exactly does that work?” Spencer wondered. He had read books about polyamorous romances, knowing that having only one partner at a time hadn’t always been the cultural norm. But still, he knew it was different with every couple.

“We’ve classified it like this: we’re a committed couple who takes other lovers,” Derek answered. “It’s been going great for about the past year and a half.”

“I didn’t know that was something you were, uh, interested in.”

“I’ve always wanted to try it, but finding someone who is also willing to is difficult. So I took a chance with Y/N, and it luckily worked out well.” He smiled.

Spencer had met Y/N before, of course. She was stunning, and perfect for Derek. They had the same sense of humor, the same adventurous spirit, and apparently, the same interest in non-monogamy.

“So, about what I mentioned earlier… what do you think?”

Spencer hadn’t forgotten about that, and he was trying to calculate all the possibilities in his head. Sure, this might be a new experience, but he would still have to face Derek at work every day, and he wasn’t sure what that would be like.

“I know you’re worried, I can practically hear you thinking,” his friend joked. “Just think about it. But let me tell you: we usually don’t sleep with people we both know, so I was surprised when Y/N agreed. She almost seemed eager.” He laughed to himself.

Spencer’s eyes widened. If Y/N had been a girl in a bar, she would have been the kind approached by all guys; the kind that were daunting to him. He would have been the guy sitting alone and staring over at her every few minutes, attempting but failing to build up the courage to approach her.

So now that she might be interested in him, everything had changed.

He stopped Derek as he was walking back to his desk with his words, “I’ll do it.”

Derek turned around, “There you go, pretty boy. Trust me, it’ll be fun.”

Fun was not the word Spencer would use to describe his nerves right now, plentiful and stomach-tightening were more like that. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t looking forward to it.


Y/N sat in front of Spencer in nothing but a matching dark red lingerie set that contrasted beautifully with her caramel-colored skin. Derek had told him to come over straight over work, and now Spencer could feel his suit pants tightening where he sat.

Derek laughed when he saw how on edge his friend was. “Relax, kid. She doesn’t bite. Unless you’re into that.”

When he saw Spencer’s shock, he chuckled again, “I’m kidding. Sort of. We won’t do any of that today. It’s all pretty simple.”

“Ok, ok. I can handle that,” Spencer said more to himself than to Morgan.

“Right. So, do you know what eating a girl out is?”

“Um, I’ve never heard that term before,” he admitted.

“Ok, then, let’s go with…pleasuring a girl orally. First thing you’ve gotta do is take your time. Explore a little, take it slow around her thighs. Use your fingers before your tongue. Everyone likes it differently, but for the sake of today and this whole experiment, I’ll tell you that Y/N likes to be teased. Throw some playfulness in there, I know you have it in you.”

Spencer was making mental note of everything Derek said, trying to formulate a plan. It didn’t take him soon to realize that even if he had a plan, he would most certainly forget it when he was in between Y/N’s legs. These kinds of things were spontaneous; they had to be.

“Right. I’ll see you later.” Derek patted his shoulder and stood up to leave.

“What? That’s it?”

Morgan laughed a little, “Did you expect a lecture? It seems complicated, but you can’t think too much. It just kind of happens.”

That was what scared Spencer to death. His brain had always been something he could always count on, and now it wasn’t going to be much help.

Morgan closed the door to the bedroom behind him, and Spencer was now alone with Y/N, who was smiling. She stood up. “Before we do anything, we’ve got to level the playing field a little.”

“Level the field?” Spencer’s voice was meek as the gorgeous woman got closer to him.

“You’re fully dressed, handsome. That’s not fair.” She snaked her fingers around his tie, slipping it off his neck and throwing it to the floor. Spencer gulped as her fingers played with the top button of his shirt, and moved downwards until they were all undone and his chest was exposed.

Y/N couldn’t hide her surprise. She had always pictured Spencer to have a scrawny body. But he had a defined stomach and small abs. She pressed a kiss to his collar bone, basking in his unsuspecting reaction of a gasp.

The last thing she removed were his pants, moving the cotton fabric slowly down his legs. The two of them were now equally dressed, and she was impressed with what she saw. She had known this would be a good idea, despite Derek’s protests.

She moved a hand through his hair, leaning closer to whisper, “Relax.”

She heard him take a deep breath before placing his hands on her own waist. He seemed to finally realize what was happening, and made his first move, pushing her back onto the bed. She grinned at his budding dominance. Spencer took a submissive role in everyday life, and she liked to see him switch it up.

As the man pressed light kisses on the inside of her thighs, she began to feel the moisture between her legs. If she hadn’t known better, she would have guessed he was experienced.

The truth was, Spencer was feeling Y/N’s upper legs with his fingers, and every time he came to a fold in her smooth skin, he kissed it. He felt how wet she was, and it ignited something inside him, pushing him to surely pull her panties down, and release a hot breath at her entrance, causing her to tighten around him.

Spencer’s confidence was growing now, and he remembered what Morgan had said: use your fingers before your tongue. He slid one finger, and then another inside of Y/N, feeling around. Y/N was releasing a series of natural sounds out of her mouth, and with every one, Spencer became more prepared to start with his tongue.

He began softly, relaxing his tongue to make slow movements along her clit. He covered a wide area with his tongue, continuing with each groan that Y/N emitted. He now pointed his tongue, working his way up t faster movement, and keeping the pressure focused on the clit. She arched her back, and Spencer was rubbing his fingers sensually down her legs, simulating them even more to the point where they were wrapped tightly around his kneeling body.

“Fuck, Spencer,” she whimpered his name in a rasped voice. He had hardly noticed her tugging on his hair during the whole process, his mind focused on other things. He now spread her legs wider, and allowed his tongue to enter more forcefully.

Y/N gasped and was able to wind down when she came, experiencing the euphoria she hadn’t expected to receive today. She was pleasantly surprised, of course, as she slowly sat up and looked at the man in front of her, who was still nervous.

“You, my friend,” she breathed, “Are going to make a woman very happy one day.”

“I, uh. I’m not sure,” Spencer began with his usual stuttering.

“Oh no, you can’t be this way around me anymore, Spencer. You’ve eaten me out.”

The compliment she had given him had sparked a braveness he didn’t know he had. “Well, I’ve seen the most intimate part of your body, but you haven’t seen mine.”

She grinned, happy he was initiating things now.

“Then I guess I’ve got to make it up to you now.”

Words Written on Your Wrist | Soulmates! Spencer Reid x Reader | Part 1

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Requested: Nope, I just figured I’d jump on the soulmate band wagon

Requests: OPEN

Part 1/?

Summary: Everyone’s wrist has three words on it, the first three words you’ll hear your soulmate say. You think the idea of soulmates is just a bunch of junk, but you’re in for a rude awakening when you meet your soulmate at your new job at the BAU. Because you worry you will lose your new dream job, you keep the fact that he’s your soulmate hidden, pretending as if those three words didn’t exist.

Words: 2639

Warnings: Swearing?

A/N: I was about 5000 words into this and then decided it was going nowhere, scrapped like 2,000 words, then worked with that to make it a series. This has a really slow start I am so sorry. I don’t know if this is very good or if anyone will be interested in me continuing this so I would greatly appreciate feedback! My requests are open so I’d also love it if you would send me in requests! I have reblogged two prompt lists so if you search ‘prompts’ and you’ll find them, just tell me which list it is and then the numbers! Thank you for reading!

I also realize it is late June, not Christmas time, but Christmas facts were the only ones I could come up with so a little bit of grace would be appreciated haha


You hated soulmates. You hated the idea. You weren’t someone’s other half. You were your own self and that’s all you wanted to be. You even went as far as to try to tattoo over the mark on right wrist, but the ink always faded away within hours, so instead you always took to wearing a bracelet over it. Out of sight, out of mind.  The soulmate phenomenon, as it became known as, was one that caused every person to have the first three words they hear their soulmate say, in their handwriting, on their right wrist. As you stared down at yours in the shower, you wished could scrub it away with your loofa.

‘Did you know,’ scrawled in perfectly horrible handwriting across the thin flesh of your inner wrist. ‘Great,’ you thought to yourself, ‘not only does my soulmate have terrible script, they sound like a know-it-all.’ And man, did you hate know-it-alls.

             You got out of the shower and pulled on a robe before flipping through your closet to pick out an outfit for your big day. Your first day at the BAU. You had worked your entire life for this, and you couldn’t be more ecstatic. The best minds in the FBI, you thought to yourself with a smile, and you’re one of them. After picking out a long sleeve blouse and nice pants you sat down to clear your head over your absolute favorite beverage, coffee. Reading through the newspaper you idly wondered what kind of people you were going to be working with. You of course knew Hotch and Rossi, since they were the ones to interview you for the position, and they had mentioned the names of the rest, but you didn’t know their faces well.

Downing the rest of your coffee quickly you glanced at the time and decided then would be a good time to head in, early was on time, on time was late, and late was inexcusable, in your mind. You grabbed your keys and bracelet, putting the band around your wrist to hide the words, even though you were wearing long sleeves. The drive to Quantico was easy, there was a light dusting of snow on the ground and you doubted there would be much more considering the Virginia climate, but you didn’t mind. You checked to make sure your go back was in the back seat just in case before going up to the bullpen. Upon entering the BAU area, box under your arm, you were met with an assault on your senses. Everyone was hustling and bustling, and you were amused to see two people, who you assumed to be on the team you were joining, in a loud conversation. Well, conversation wasn’t the word, it was more of a soliloquy by a tall and long haired bean pole while a man who could be a Greek god was looking very annoyed. You couldn’t very much hear the conversation as you entered the large room but as you walked closer on your way to Hotch’s office you were able to make out the words.

“Did you know that if you were to add up the costs of all of the items listed in The 12 Days of Christmas it would be around $1.3 million? And that December 25 was actually….” And that all you heard, because you could feel your heart stop in that moment. It had to be a mistake, there are plenty of know-it-alls in the world, it doesn’t have to be him. Just calm down, you tell yourself, continuing to the office in front of you as if nothing had happened. Your plan was to just ignore it and hope for the best. You’ll be damned if you were going to let something you didn’t even want to ruin your dream job.

You greeted Hotch, setting your box down in a chair and shaking his hand. “I’ll introduce you to the team and show you to your desk. We don’t have a case today, it’s just paperwork, so we have a bit of time.” He said with a small smile, and somehow you figured that that was the most you were ever going to see of a smile. Walking down to the bullpen together you took in the entire team, two beautiful blonde women, one of which was dressed very eccentrically and you knew you were going to like her, a dark-haired woman who looked like a badass snow-white, Rossi, who you had already met, Mr. Greek God, and your soulma-, you mean the long-haired bean pole. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet SSA Y/F/N Y/L/N, she will be joining our team.” You smiled and waved and everyone, setting your box of things down on your desk before Hotch continued, “Y/L/N, this is JJ, Penelope Garcia, Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, and Spencer Reid, and you of course have already met me and Rossi,” Hotch said, introducing everyone.

You opened your mouth to greet them but before you could say anything the eccentrically dressed blonde woman came rushing up to you, a huge grin adorning her face, “Oh my gosh it’s so good to meet you, is there anything I can do for you, can I help you get settled in? Would you like some coffee? Do you like coffee?” She asked quickly, motioning a lot with her hands.

You laughed, your suspicion now confirmed, you were going to get along great with her. “I love coffee, actually, and I wouldn’t want to trouble you, it won’t take long for me to get settled in and start working.” You kept your eyes on her and only on her, even though out of the corner of your eye you saw two heads snap to look at you. One of which was that of who you now know to be your soulmate and the other was the other blonde woman, who you assumed knew what three words resided on the man’s wrist. You cursed internally, how could your favorite beverage betray you like this?

“Are you sure?” Garcia asked again, her puppy dog eyes looking at you.

 “Garcia,” Hotch’s voice cut into the conversation, stern but amused, “Why don’t you show Y/L/N around since you’re so eager to help.”

“I can do that! Come on Y/N!” She grabbed linked arms with you, leading you around to show you the office to show you were the break room and the coffee pot were as well as what resided on each floor of the building in case you needed anything from other departments. Her optimistic and bubbly attitude lifted your spirits almost to the point of forgetting about the fact that the bane of your existence resided just feet away from your desk.

             “So what did you do before joining the BAU?” Asked Morgan when you and Garcia returned to the bullpen.

             “I was a Forensic Psychology Professor,” you explain as you sit down and start getting situated at your desk, “I taught at Brown University.”

             “A professor at your age? That’s impressive.” Prentiss nodded, eyebrows raised.

             “I peeked early,” You joked with a laugh, a bit unnerved that the two people who were staring at you earlier were avoiding conversation. You felt a bit bad not letting the man know that you knew he was your soulmate, but you did want it to jeopardize your job. You just got here, the last thing you need is people either thinking you got the job because you were some one on the team’s soulmate or that you couldn’t think objectively working so close beside him.

             Spencer starred at you, his mind going a mile a minute. Has she already heard him say something and didn’t recognize it? Had she already heard him say something and it wasn’t what was on his wrist and he was a glitch? If she hadn’t heard him say anything yet, what should he say? He thought over anything and everything he could say to, wanting the first three words out if his mouth to be eloquent and as lovely as she was.

             “What made you want to join the BAU?” JJ, the woman you knew you were Reid’s soulmate, asked.

             “I wanted to make a difference, save lives.” You shrugged, feeling like you were getting interrogated, “My uh… My childhood best friend was a victim of a serial killer and I want to catch the type of people that did that to her.” The room fell silent after your confession, though most everyone nodded out of acknowledgement and respect. You turned back to your desk to continue setting out photographs and putting away things but a voice caught your attention, the same one that was rambling off facts when you walked in.

             “I’m sorry for your loss.” He said quietly, making eye-contact with you. You knew as a profiler he was looking for micro expressions, anything to let him know that the first three words of that sentence were on your wrist. But they weren’t, so you weren’t technically concealing anything when you simply smiled warmly and thanked him before returning to your desk. You also weren’t lying when Garcia asked you if you found your soulmate yet at lunch.

             Most of the team was all sitting at the tables in the break room, idly chatting and getting to know one another when Penelope grinned, leaning in as if she was an elementary schooler asking who you had a crush on.

             “So, have you found your soulmate yet?” She asked as she wagged her eyebrows.

             “I’m still single,” You say easily, smiling as you took another bite of your soup you brought from home.

             “Now that isn’t an answer.” Emily grinned, pointing her fork at you. Damn it, you should have known trying to pass a question off with a non-answer with a group full of profilers wouldn’t work.

             “Well, I don’t know, you know?” You try to lie, trying to dig yourself out of a hole, “I know what’s on my wrist, I don’t know what’s on other people’s. Like what if I’m not my soulmate’s soulmate? I don’t want to get ahead of myself if I don’t know what’s on his or her wrist.” Well, that wasn’t a lie, you reason with yourself. “Plus, mine is a pretty common statement, so it could be anyone, I’ve had a few false alarms in the past when I’ve overheard conversations, so I also don’t want to get ahead of myself that way.”

             “What does your wrist say?” Jenifer asked suddenly.

             She doesn’t beat around the bush.

             “I’d prefer to keep that to myself. Not even my best friend knows what’s on my wrist.” Laughing uneasily, you push your spoon around in your bowl.

             “That makes sense, it’s a really personal thing.” Garcia nods in agreement and you swore you could kiss her for how easily she dropped the subject.

             “Mines what my Savannah first said to me,” Morgan grinned proudly as he held out his wrist, “She’s a doctor at the hospital nearby.”

             “What about you JJ? I see a wedding band.” You smile, nodding to her left hand, glad to have the attention off you.

             “’You must be’” She repeated holding up her wrist, “It turns out that it’s in person. I actually spoke to Will on the phone before in person, but what’s on our wrists is what we said to each other when we first talked in person. It’s funny, because I introduced myself with my name, so he knew the second he called me that he would be speaking to his soulmate and I had no idea.” She laughed, reminiscing.

             “I wish we all had it that easy,” Emily scoffed as she pulled back the sleeve on her shirt. “Mines ‘You look beautiful.’ Do you know how many times I’ve heard that at a bar?”

             “Exactly! Its similar with mine!” You exclaim with a smile, glad someone else could back you up on the small fib you told. But as the room fell back into silence you noted that the only other people who had yet to say what was on their wrist were Penelope and Spencer, and by the way Penelope was quickly chewing her food so she could talk you guessed she was going next.

             “I haven’t found my soulmate either!” She said quickly after finished chewing, “Nor has our resident Brainiac, but he’s like you, he won’t tell us what his tattoo says either.”

             You knew you had to say something, if you didn’t say something you knew it would cause suspicion, so you turned to him, raising an eyebrow, “What’s your reasoning for not telling anyone, Mr. Resident Brainiac?” You ask easily, watching as JJ gave him a sympathetic look out of the corner of your eye, knowing that both of them were probably thinking he was a glitch at the moment.

             “M-“ He starts but clears his throat nervously, “Mostly the same reasons as you.”

             “Great minds think alike,” you laugh as you begin to close your Tupperware, “But fools seldom differ,”

“But fools seldom differ.” Wait what. You frown. Was your hearing going or did you two just state the second half of that saying at the same time? Quickly recovering, the frown is replaced by another smile as you watch a pink tint rise to Reid’s cheeks. You had to admit, this man was very attractive.

Everyone laughed and Morgan clapped you on your shoulder, the others packing up their stuff as well. When you got back to the bullpen Hotch and Rossi were there, huddled around a file.

“Do we have a case?” Prentiss asks as the team gets closer.

“it seems so, it looks to be a rough one so we will brief on the plane.” Hotch said as he closed the file, then turning his attention to you, “Y/L/N, I trust you have a go bag packed?”

“Yes, I do, sir.” You quickly say, nervous for your first case, especially since Hotch was describing it as a rough one.

“Wheels up in 20.”

              As you sat down on the plane the team quickly began discussing the case, the unsub was kidnapping women, holding them for at least a week, stabbing them, and then displaying their bodies in public places.

             Spencer read a bit of file out loud, sometimes going on fact tangents relating to something on the page, and you had to admit, it was darn adorable. You’d glance over at him every chance you could without arising suspicion, and you began taking him in in his entirety. You did always have a thing for long haired guys, his cheek bones and jaw line were to die for, and his hands, oh his hands, you decided you loved watching him turn pages in the file. You internally scolded yourself, of course you’d find him attractive, he was your soulmate after all, a match made in heaven. But that gnawing thought in the back of your head that you could lose everything you had worked towards thus far because of some butterflies in your stomach and ink on your wrist dragged you down like an anchor from the cloud you seemed to be floating on.

             “There’s no signs of torture besides the stabbing,” You comment with a frown, “Which wouldn’t indicate a sadist, but the stabbing implies a sexual component. He could be impotent.”

             “I agree,” Reid says a bit too quickly, looking up at you.

             “The displaying and posing of the bodies could be a taunt,” JJ offered, drawing attention away from Spencer.

             “When we land I want Prentiss and Morgan to go to the first and second crime scene, Rossi and Y/L/N to the third, JJ and I can go to the Fourth. Reid why don’t you start on the geographical profile.” Hotch designated as the jet landed.


To be Continued.

Part 2

Lose Your Keys, Find A Man

Originally posted by imaginesandmoreforfandom

Prompt: For the anon who sent in “Can you do a Derek Morgan x reader where she’s being harassing by some guy who won’t take a hint and he comes to her rescue?” 

A/N: Ah! I do love and miss my beautiful Derek Morgan so much! (Do I sound like Penelope yet lol? XD) This one is for the awesome anon who requested it and all the Morgan girls out there, not enough fics for him exist and I am happy to add to the collection. Enjoy :) Also, I’m still taking requests so if you want to hit up that asks box!

Note: (Y/N/N): your nickname

Word Count: 1.7 K

Rating: PG (maybe PG-13 if you really squint)


“Just one more drink she said, it’ll be fun she said! More like she’ll become a pain in the ass who can’t stand up,” you muttered as you dragged your friend Elizabeth out of the club with the help of your other friend Molly. The three of you had met your freshman year of college at Virginia Tech. Other than having one freshman english class, the three of you had polar opposite class and career tracks. You were a corporate lawyer, Molly was on the fast track to being a neurosurgeon, and Elizabeth was an aspiring painter. The three of you became inseparable and still shared an apartment, six years later. And it was times like this where you were glad you all had that kind of history else you might have killed the two of them by now. When you went out, you usually assumed the duty of being designated driver and “mom” of the night, while your two friends chose to drink ‘til they dropped, literally. 

“Look on the bright side, you can give her hell for this and shine a bright light in her eyes in the morning,” Elizabeth mumbled, stumbling slightly due to her drunk state and Molly’s extra weight on her shoulder. 

“Yeah right,” you snorted, “We both know that I’ll be handing out ibuprofen and coffee to you both in the morning and saying, ‘poor sweet baby’”. 

“True, but hey at least I’m not as much of a pain to handle,” she replied, as you hailed a cab. 

“Don’t even go there,” you said playfully bumping her shoulder. The passing cab came to hault and with you and Elizabeth’s combined efforts you managed to settle Molly inside. You reached in your purse for your wallet to ensure you could pay the fair and made a horrible discovery. “Shit, I think I dropped my keys,” you groaned.

“Just run inside and go find ‘em. We can wait.”

“No, it’s fine. I have no idea where I dropped them and this could take awhile. You need to get her home before she gets sick in the car.”

“Ok, just be careful. See you at home,” Elizabeth said. You closed the door of the cab and watched them drive off. You quickly walked back into the bar, not wanting to be outside for two long. You weren’t paranoid, just cautious. You’d heard too many horror stories women getting kidnapped outside of bars late at night. You quickly started scanning the room for a thick wad of keys as you walked back in. Not immediately catching sight of them, you trudged over to the bar. 

“Hey, Nick. Has anyone turned in a set of keys in the last ten minutes?” you asked the bartender, who you’d gotten to know since your friends loved this bar. 

“Afraid not (Y/N). Only things back here other than little old me are the drinks and a couple of notepads,” he replied cheekily. 

“Ha, well that was worth a shot. I’m going to go look over at the booth where we were sitting but if I can’t find them and they get turned in you’ll let me know right?”

“I’ll holler if they turn up.”

“Thanks,” you replied sadly, and dragged your feet over to the booth where you’d been stationed with your friends for the past three hours. You could kick yourself right now. All you wanted was to go home, but instead you were stuck at the bar looking for keys that you weren’ t even sure were there. You looked under the booth, then crawled in and stuck your hand down in the seats hoping maybe the keys had slid down in between. 

“Hello, pretty lady. Come back for more already?” some guy slurred as he stumbled toward you. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye and immediately recognized him as the man who’d spent the majority of the night trying to pick you up. And in turn, you’d spent most of the night trying to get away from him and his awful breath that stank of alcohol, which signalled to you that he’d had way too much to drink. 

“Just trying to find my keys,” you replied, casually and kept sliding your hand around the seats. 

“Well, maybe I could help you with that,” he muttered, in as sultry of a voice as he could muster up and slid his hand up your thigh and onto your ass. 

“What the hell are you doing?” you growled and flipped around, after ripping his hand off you.

“Just trying to get a little play baby.”

“Well find someone who wants to play with you.”

“Aw c’mon, pretty lady. I seen the way you and your friends dance with anything that moves. I just want a little of that attention.”

“And as I have politely told you all night, I’m not interested,” you snapped, using your foot to push him back a few feet. The man glared intently at you and you instantly regretted that last move. 

“Now listen here you-”

“Hey buddy, the lady said no so why don’t you back off,” a voice said from behind the man as a hand landed on his shoulder. You flicked your eyes up to the owner of the voice and you savior. Tall, muscular, and handsome as hell. Honestly, he looked more like he belonged in a movie than here in real life rescuing you from some guy. 

“Why don’t you mind your own business buddy?” the drunk man sneered, shrugging the foreign hand off of his shoulder. Your hero (as you had labeled him in your head) stepped between you and the drunk.

“It is my business when men like you are harassing a woman. So why don’t you scram before I have the other FBI agents in the room book you for attempted assault and harassment?” he replied flashing a gun and credentials. The man took one last look at you over his shoulder before stumbling off toward the door. “Well, that takes care of that,” he muttered straightening up before turning to you and offering a hand to help you out of the booth. “You alright?” 

“Yes,” you replied, taking his hand and pulling yourself out of the booth to stand in front of him. “Thank you so much, I’ve been trying to shake that asshole all night.” 

“Sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”

“It’s ok. He wasn’t being that ballsy earlier.”

“Well, no woman deserves to be treated that way,” he said. “Didn’t I see you leaving with your friends a few minutes ago?”

“Yeah, I put them in a cab to head back to our apartment once I realized I had dropped my keys somewhere in the bar earlier,” you told him as you did another scan of the bar. “I was trying to see if maybe they had slid down into the seat when the drunk bastard started creeping on me again.” You turned your eyes back to your companion and found him kneeling on the ground, pulling your keys out from under the booth. 

“These what you’re looking for?”

“Yes, thank you so much…”

“Sorry, manners slipped my mind. Derek Morgan,” he replied, handing you your keys. 

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), and given that you just essentially rescued me from some creep minutes ago I’m pretty sure your manners are fine,” you teased fiddling with your keys. 

“Like I said, it’s not right to treat ladies that way, especially one’s with smiles as pretty as yours,” he said, flashing a dazzling smile at you. You grinned at him and tucked your hair behind your ear. You were suddenly very aware that you were being watched. Glancing over your shoulder, you noticed a table full of people who were trying to nonchalantly watch the exchange going down between the two of you. 

“Well, I think I’m going to get going. I’ve got to drunks to take care of at home and I wouldn’t want to keep you from your friends any longer, but you might want to tell them to try being more discreet if they plan on watch people,” you chuckled. 

“I can walk you out if you want,” Derek suggested.

“You’ve been nice enough already, and the bartender is a friend so I’ll ask him to. It was nice to meet you, Derek,” you replied. 

“Nice to meet you too, (Y/N),” he said and sauntered off back to his friends. You sighed dreamily and walked up to the bar. 

“Success,” you declared, leaning on the bar, and dangled your keys for Nick to see. 

“Awesome, now I don’t have to scour the bar for those when I close,” he replied washing glasses. 

“Nick, would you mind walking me out to my cab? It’s kind of late,” you asked, slipping said keys back in your purse where they belonged. 

“Didn’t Derek offer to walk you out?”

“How did you know that? And second question, you know him?” 

“First, I’m a bartender I hear everything. I was about to step in for you earlier, but Derek was ordering a drink and said he would handle it. Second, I don’t know him per say, but the crowd of FBI agents over there are regulars,” Nick explained as he set the glass down and picked up another. “He’s a big hit with girls, but I don’t think he’s seeing anyone.”

“I know what you’re implying, and knock it off. He’s way out of my league,” you shot back. 

“C’mon, (Y/N/N). You, my friend, are a catch and he’s a great guy who knows how to treat a woman right.”

“What do you want me to do, Nick? Walk over there and drop my number on a napkin in front of him?”

“Or you can give it to him now since he’s walking over here,” Nick mumbled, suddenly very busy cleaning that glass. 

“(Y/N),” Derek said as he walked up beside you. 

“Hi again,” you replied. 

“Stop me if I’m being too forward, but I was wondering if I could maybe take you out to get a coffee?”

“Like right now?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Derek nodded. “It’s almost one o’clock in the morning.”

“Well, I am a man who believes in living in the present,” he replied chuckling, “but I do see your point.” 

“You know what, I know a great diner that makes a mean cup of coffee and a fantastic milkshake,” you mentioned adjusting the strap on your purse. 

“Well, Miss (Y/L/N), let’s go,” he said grinning as he offered you his arm. You giggled as you took it. Who knew you’d find your knight in shining armor as a result of losing your keys under a booth? 


BONUS SCENE!

A/N: ok so when I was writing the first part it suddenly hit me what the conversation with the team would be like after Morgan saves the reader and goes back to the table, but I couldn’t figure out how to work it into the story so I’m including it as a bonus scene. Enjoy :)

“Nice to meet you too, (Y/N),” Derek muttered and strolled back over to the table the other BAU members were perched around, still thinking about (Y/N)’s beautiful eyes and smile. 

“So, is she prettier upon closer inspection?” Rossi teased as Morgan leaned against the table. 

“What are you talking about?” Morgan asked, snapping out of his stupor. 

“Derek, c’mon you are sitting which a group of profilers. Don’t think we haven’t noticed that you’ve been staring at her since we got here,” JJ replied, waggling her eyebrows at him. That was true, the team had arrived about an hour ago to continue their night of bar hopping and that was when Derek had noticed (Y/N). She had thrown the BAU’s resident player off of his game, big time. Instead of approaching and mingling, he’d decided to take the road of observing watching the way her smile lit up her face as she laughed with her friends and swung her hips. 

“We also agreed never to profile each other and I haven’t been staring,” Derek grumbled. 

“Right, so what’s her name?” Penelope asked leaning toward him. 

“(Y/N).”

“And I’m assuming you got her number, so when are you seeing her again?”

“I didn’t get her number,” he replied. A collective groan spread around the table, while Spencer smiled in the corner and extended his hand. 

“Told you, now fork it over all of you,” he said victoriously, taking a ten dollar bill from each member of the team. 

“What?”

“They bet that you’d have a date and her number by the time you walked back over here, and I noted the fact that you were ‘off your game’ as you would say, so I bet them you wouldn’t and I definitely won,” Reid explained, smiling smugly. 

 “Chocolate Thunder, bet aside I expect you to march back over there and score yourself a date else I hack her phone and call her for you,” Penelope threatened, poking his chest.

“I’ll show you who’s not off his game,” Derek grumbled, downing one of the shots that had been for the table before spinning and marching toward the bar where (Y/N) was chatting up the bartender. 

“Atta boy!” Prentis shouted.

“WHOO! GO CHOCOLATE THUNDER!” Penelope cheered.

Phrasing

So, I DM a Giest: The Sin-eaters campaign in NWoD. The characters are a krew with a prophecy to save the world and at the moment they’ve found the military hunter version of Gutanamo bay (‘cause one of them are employed by them and the military needed help big time). They’ve checked all the cells and become disgusted by the conditions and found 1 surviver. A woman, seemingly human, who seems to have been a part of the cult that had an evil entity attached to their leader and killed the whole compound except the group and 2 NPCs. 

Morgan, one of the characters, is the only one who can see into the Spirit realm due to his Stigmata Boneyard and he senses a spirit growing inside of this woman. Something out of this world, he’d describe it as a dragon embryo. One of the seals of the apocalypse is when a dragon returns to the world.

He failed to explain that before he said;

“So, I want to kill that woman. I need to hack her into as many pieces as I can with my knife. I want to slit her throat and stab her until no one can tell she was once a woman,“ 

Silence falls around the table and the other players just stare at him. 

P1: Woah.. Morgan… what the fuck man? No. She’s just a human woman.

P2: What the fuck is your problem?

P3 (whose character haven’t met Morgan before): So… that’s the resident psycho when I’m not here? Man you guys are compensating…

P4: I…No. No. You’re not doing that, Morgan.

Morgan: I have to. I’m a Reaper.

P1: So what? We don’t kill innocents. 

P2: When did you become psychotic, man?

Morgan: But she’s carrying the embryo of a dragon inside of her! She believes to be the chosen one! She can’t live and birth that thing! The Prohecy, guys!

All the others: Why didn’t you say that before!? What’s wrong with you!? You don’t start that conversation with how you want to hack her to a million pieces and THEN tell us it’s because she’s carrying the world eating dragon!

Morgan: So… I can get to work now?

P1: I’ll be outside. I can’t god damn watch that, even if she’s carrying a dragon.

P2 and P4: Yeah, we’ll come along. Do it quick, Morgan.

P3: I guess I’ll stay and make sure it get’s done then…. Nice…

It didn’t get done quick, and you couldn’t see that it was a woman when he was done. Now the characters are all a bit worried about him and his mental health. 

misselizabeth530  asked:

Do y'all give book recs? Because I just finished the Faithful and the Fallen series by John Gwynne and I don't even know what to do now. I need a fantasy (epic fantasy or high fantasy) that can step up to that? Help 😖

Ohhh man do we have some great recs for you! 

An Ember in the Ashes

Falling Kingdoms

Young Elites

Rebel of the Sands

Obsidian Mirror

Our ask box is always open! 

2

“im going to be honest Hot Stuff, you scare the shit outta me.” Negan stated, “i’ve seen you use anything you could get your hands onto to kill a man and i do not plan on being that man any time soon.”

“so what? you’re going to be nice to me?” you scoffed.

“as a matter of fact darlin, i am, because i am a nice guy.” Negan smiled at you, “and, i respect a woman who can handle herself.”

********** 

gif credit (x) original gifset (x)

Together // Spencer Reid

A/N — I’m back ahaha and with 11 followers that makes me very happy. Anyways, here’s some Spencer fluff™ for you guys. Also, this still has Derek in, so it’s probably based in the earlier seasons. Maybe 5/6?

- Blue x

Requested: Nope! My brain threw this at me

Warnings: Really cute Spencer

Summary: Spencer loves her, he knows that, so why not ask her to move in?

— Spencer’s POV —

It was hard, very hard, for someone like me to ask someone like her to move in with me.

I mean, she was like an angel. She was my everything and I wanted to wake up next to her everyday, see that smile, I wanted to roll over in my bed to meet her eyes with mine and feel the nervousness go away.

It was just asking her that was the problem. So, as any other person would, I asked the man who would know exactly what to do in a situation like this…

Derek Morgan.

“Hey, uh, Morgan, can I ask you something?” I say, voice shaking just from the thought of asking her such a big question.

This was big for us, we’d been together about a year and a half so moving in together is a big step.

“Course you can kid, what’s up?” He asks me, smile brighter than ever, happy I can confide in him.

“Statistically, 54 percent of all first marriages between 1990 and 1994 began with unmarried cohabitation. So, how do I ask Y/N to move in with me? I mean, it’s a hard question you know?” I list, probably speaking to fast for him to find it coherent, but I tried.

“Ok, kid, just slow down. You want her to move in with you?” He asks, the coffee in his hand letting out steam as we speak.

Even just standing in the bullpens kitchen, my heart was racing.

This was such a big thing, and my mind couldn’t stop racing. What if I was going the wrong way about things?, what if this was the wrong thing to do in general? - so many things were terrifying, but in turn I would do anything to keep her by my side as long as I could.

“Well I think that’s what I trying to say, yeah. Yeah I think I do.” I say, hand running through my tussled hair and tugging the ends slightly.

“Wow! Well done boy genius! You’ll do great. Just sit her down, and tell her everything you want to tell her, it’s not like she’ll say no.” He says, smile painted across his face like a fine art canvas.

“Ok. Yeah, ok I’ll try that tonight. Thanks Morgan.” I say, before pouring the heaps of sugar into my tea, and walking back to my desk, the thought of waking up to her in the morning still playing on my mind.

“Hey, kid?” I hear from behind me, as I sit in front of the heaps of files as only me and Morgan are left.

“Yeah?” I reply, hearing his questioning tone.

“Does that also mean you wanna marry her eventually?” He asks, smile never fading as before.

“Um, I think so, maybe, probably.” I stutter, not needing a bigger question than the one on my mind right now.

And as Morgan left for the night, she appears, and it’s like everything around me stops.

To me, she isn’t just any FBI agent, she’s like an angel cast down on earth. She’s like the detective to my murder case, and I couldn’t wish for anyone else to be with. The smile I wear like a badge everyday, it’s all down to her and her perfections.

To her, her whole being was imperfections riddled throughout her body, but to me - she was perfect, and I couldn’t get anyone better than her.

“Hey Spence! Just you?” She kindly asks me, sitting on the space on the edge of my desk and kissing my cheek with her soft, plump lips as chills run down my spine.

I can’t stop my hands shaking, my mind racing and my heart skipping so many beats I feel like I’ll pass out.

“Yeah, they, uh, they all went for some dinner. Thought I’d wait around for you and get this stuff done.” I say, stumbling over my words, thinking of what Morgan said.

I can hear his voice in my head, his calming words, ‘tell her everything you want to tell her, it’s not like she’ll say no’

“Why didn’t you go? You don’t have to wait for me Spence, don’t let me get in the way.” She says, placing to files from where she works downstairs onto Emily’s desk.

“Because I need to ask you something, uh, yeah I do. Ha.” I splutter out, a nervous, breathy laugh leaving my body as I look down and play with my hands, avoiding the dreaded eye contact.

“Spence, you know you can ask me anything, what’s up?” She questions, concern written in her furrowed eye brows.

How can someone with such a loving heart be with someone like me? I always wondered what I did to deserve someone like her.

“Ok, so I’ve been thinking. And 18.5% of couples cohabitate due to financial reasons, but I don’t want to do that, y’know? I wanna live with you because the thought of waking up with you every morning is what makes me smile more. And I’ve also noticed that I feel happier with you. And-“ I say, throwing out words faster than a machine.

“Spencer, slow down, what the hell are you asking me?” She asks me, more confused that I’d ever seen her.

“Y/N, will you move in with me?” I say, after taking a deep breath to rethink everything I’d told her.

“Spence, course I will!” She says, standing up to meet my eyes, as I look down into hers and interlace our fingers, landing a kiss onto her lips gently.

“Well then, looks like you’re stuck with me and my facts.” I laugh, smile bigger than ever before.

“I’ll be stuck with you and your facts anyday, Spence.” She laughs, kissing me again, my heart still beating faster than it ever had, all because I had her.

Words Written on Your Wrist | Part 3 | Soulmates! Spencer Reid x Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Soulmates! Spencer Reid x reader

Requested: Nope, I just figured I’d jump on the soulmate band wagon

Requests: OPEN

Part 3/?

        Part 1 Part 2

Words: 2982

Warnings: none

Summary: Everyone’s wrist has three words on it, the first three words you’ll hear your soulmate say. You think the idea of soulmates is just a bunch of junk, but you’re in for a rude awakening when you meet your soulmate at your new job at the BAU. Because you worry you will lose your new dream job, you keep the fact that he’s your soulmate hidden, pretending as if those three words didn’t exist.

A/N: I may have shed a few tears writing this. I don’t know how many chapters I am going to do after this, but for sure there will be a 4th part. Thank you all for your kind words! Feedback is greatly appreciated!! I hope you all like this!!!


As the words left Spencer’s mouth you knew you had a split second to decide whether to act shocked and hide the fact that you knew, furthering the lie, or to resign to the fact that he was your soulmate. Luckily you were in the van with Rossi and Derek, so you didn’t have to face the astonished or judgmental eyes of the entire team.

             Morgan’s eyes widened before turning to look at you and you heard two gasps over the com, you assumed one belonged to Prentiss and the other belonged to Garcia. You set your jaw and pinched the bridge of your nose, squeezing your eyes tight. Barely a day on your first case and everything is already going to hell in a handbasket. You’re sure to to be kicked off or lose all of their trust, only to be treated like a pariah. You think you’d rather be kicked off.

             “Focus.” You heard Hotch growl into your ear piece and you reminded yourself that if you managed to get out of this with good graces to do whatever it takes to never hear him speak like that to you again.

             “Welcome!” You heard over the line again as Spencer and JJ were welcomed into the support group’s meeting. “We will begin the night as we always do, with an affirmation that everyone here is valid in their identity of being a Glitch. There is nothing wrong with it and by no means does it decide our future as successful human beings and no way does it restrict us from finding out own love.” The organizer spoke in a soft and comforting tone. At the last part, you thought you heard a very quiet, mocking, exhale.

             “Someone just scoffed, try and see who that was.” Emily said quickly, hearing it as well.

             “Now we are going to open the floor for whoever that wants to share.” The organizer said after a moment. Someone began talking about how he met his soulmate by a friend of a friend, but that once they were introduced it was apparent that he wasn’t her soulmate. He had kept it from her and they were now good friends, her having no idea what she was to him. The man went on and on about how tortured he felt every time he was with her, that he knew that she was perfect for him but it would never be reciprocated. Your felt a pang of guilt in your stomach, wondering if that’s how Spencer was feeling.

             A few more people went before the head of the group spoke up again. “Maybe one of our new comers can share their experiences?”

             “I ca–“ You heard JJ start but be interrupted by Reid.

             “I will.” He said firmly and he surprised himself with how his voice didn’t waver. This wasn’t about Y/N, he told himself, this was about finding the killer. He’d make something up and then say that him and JJ were seeing each other to try and get a rise out of the man who had scoffed earlier. As he walked up to the podium his legs felt like jelly and his heart rammed against his ribcage. Spencer took a deep breath before he started. “I met her a while ago,” He lied easily to the crowd.

             Meanwhile, in the van, you tried your best to not hyperventilate, your chest feeling tight and your head feeling far too light. You wondered what he was going to say. Was he going to make something up? Was he going to talk about you? You had just met him, that wasn’t a while ago, maybe that meant he was going to continue with a charade for the entire meeting.

             “She was new to the department where JJ and I work at,” Spencer gestured to the blonde woman he came in with, and your stomach dropped. “We work at a psychology practice together and I knew she was my soulmate when she was being introduced to us by our boss.” You knew they couldn’t go in there and say their real occupation, but that seemed to be the only thing that he was changing. You ignored the stares you were receiving from Derek. “She was about to say something when another one of our coworkers interrupted and asked her if she could help her with anything or get her coffee, and then asked her if she liked coffee, meanwhile this coworker was too excited to let her speak between this questions. The first thing she replied to was the last question and that’s what was on my wrist,” Spencer’s voice sounded strained, stuttering every once and a while. “I- I knew then. I didn’t know if she had heard me speak yet, but based on how she was acting, I didn’t think so. You see uh, since we’re psychologists we’re really good at noticing how people react, so after carefully formulating what I was going to say to her, of course I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind after she shared about a friend’s death was that I was sorry for her loss. I carefully watched the way she reacted. The words held no deep significance to her. And based on that and how she’s continued to act around me, I concluded I am a Glitch. Since then I decided I was going to take fate into my own hands.”

Damn, was this ironic. That’s exactly what you were doing, taking your own fate and deciding what you wanted, which was to be your own person. Meanwhile these women were being murdered for taking their lives into their own hands and choosing to be someone’s partner. The universe had a sick way of making thing play out, you thought before you turned your attention back to Spencer’s speech.

“JJ and I have been dating for a few months now, and I’m happy, even though I know I have to see my soulmate every day.” You noted his voice inflections changed. That strain was there and gone between the truth and the lies, and it was definitely there for that last half of the sentence. You were hurting him. You were going to make him go through his every day with the thought that his soulmate, the person made for him, would never be more than a work colleague. The thought of it felt like a knife in your gut, but the thought of losing everything that you had worked for going down the drain felt like a thousand. Veronica’s face flashed before your eyes, your childhood best friend lost at the hands of a serial killer. You had to do this for her.

‘But does it matter?’ You reasoned in your head. ‘What if they don’t let you stay because it could affect Spencer’s work? He is far more brilliant and a bigger asset to the team than you were, you would be the first to go if it affected the work environment.’ The thoughts in your head went a thousand miles an hour, knowing you had to come to a conclusion as to what you were going to do, and quick.

Spencer then thanked the group before stepping off the podium, quickly excusing himself to the bathroom to tell the team that there was someone who appeared extraordinarily distraught when he said that him and JJ were together, saying that his name tag read James but there was no last name listed. Hotch responded to tell him to try and talk to the man afterward to get a last name and if they couldn’t, to ask around. After that Reid dismissed himself to get back to the support group. You absentmindedly scratched at your wrist, and glancing down you saw the edge of the script, and your breath hitched in your throat when you realized it was now turning grey, not the normal inky black it had always been. It was fading. You didn’t even know that that could happen. Marks normally only faded after your soulmate had died.

The rest of the meeting went quickly, either that or you were in a daze, staring at the little bit of writing that peeked out from under your sleeve and bracelet. JJ had gotten a name for the suspect, and Garcia did a quick search to find that a one James Quinn’s best friend, and presumably soulmate, died from cancer the previous month.

“That’s the stressor.” Rossi said definitively, “Get him.”


“I think this is the fastest we have ever closed a case.” Prentiss said with a laugh as they hauled the man into the back of a squad car.

“Thank god Y/L/N figured out what the victims had in common so fast.” Morgan clapped you on the back and you had to plant your feet to make sure you didn’t go flying forward from the force.

             You noticed Reid’s sleeved were rolled up, and there, neatly on the inside of his right wrist, was your elegant handwriting. In a fading grey. You cursed to yourself, not knowing what to do. Soon Hotch caught your eye and he nodded in a way obviously saying ‘we need to talk.’ When you got back to the station, he asked to speak to you.

             “You and Reid need to talk.” His tone left no room for argument. “I need to know both of you can stay on the team. You are both assets I intend on keeping but we have to be sure the emotional strain doesn’t effect anyone’s work.”

             You opened your mouth to speak but before you could there was a knock on the door of the conference room you were currently occupying. Rossi entered moments after. “I assume you are talking about what just happened and the implications?” He asked and you and Hotch both nodded. “Are you still set on not telling him?”

             “Telling him what?” Hotch frowned, glancing between the two of you. Your eyes widened, you figured if Rossi knew that meant Hotch would as well.

             “That they’re soulmates,” Rossi said, frowning as well, also figuring Hotch knew as well.

             “What?”

             This time you spoke up, pinching the bridge of your nose again. “We’re soulmates. But I don’t want a soulmate. I didn’t tell him that we are and that its reciprocated.”

             “So, he only thinks he’s a Glitch?” Your boss asked, still confused, and you nod. “You really need to talk to him.”

             You only nod again, letting out a sigh of resignation. You figured that once your boss knew you were keeping such a large secret from another teammate it wouldn’t go well.

             “I’ll send him in.” Rossi said as him and Hotch walked out of the conference room. You assumed that meant that no matter what, if you and Reid couldn’t handle working alongside each other.

             Pacing around the room you cursed aloud, debating as to how to go about telling Spencer that he was your soulmate as well. Soon the door opened and he stepped in the room.

             “Listen, Y/N I’m sorry about saying that in the meeting, I wanted to make it seem believable and-“ You didn’t let him get any farther.

             “Did you know.” You stated, hands clasped together tightly.

             He shook his head, frowning in bewilderment. “Did I know what?”

             “Did you know.” You rolled up your sleeve and unclasped the bracelet, tossing it on the table. “Did you know that if you were to add up the costs of all of the items listed in the 12 Days of Christmas it would be around $1.3 million.” Your voice was solemn, resigned. You watched as realization washed over his face and his jaw slightly dropped.

             “I’m your soulmate. And, and you knew?” His voice was quiet, and when his voice cracked in the second sentence you swore something in your chest did too.

             “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want a soulmate. I don’t want a soulmate. I don’t want my identity tied to someone, I’m my own person, not someone’s other half.”

             Spencer took a deep breath, trying to clear his thoughts. This was not how he imagined this would go. He imagined that his soulmate would be ecstatic to meet him, like something out of a fairy tale. Just his luck, he thought bitterly, he would wait all this time to find her, first think he was a Glitch, and then she wouldn’t even want him. Thinking over what he had to say, he played with his fingers for a while before lightly touching the tattoo on his wrist that was getting darker by the second, returning to the ink black it once was. “But the thing is, Y/N, I don’t think we’re two halves of a whole. I don’t expect us to be two halves of a whole. I think that we’re two separate people that just happen to work together perfectly. That’s what life it though, individuals coming together to form something that is bigger than ones’ self. That’s why you joined a team, wasn’t it, to be a part of something bigger? It’s the same concept with soulmates, in my opinion. We obviously aren’t codependent on one another, we’re already doing very well without each other. Imagine how it would be with us together, as soulmates, as a team.” His eyes glistened as tears threatened to fall and you looked away. Here it comes. You didn’t know how to say it, the true reason you didn’t want to be someone’s soulmate.

             “Did you know ants can carry over 20 times their body weight?” You ask, looking up and away as your own eyes filled with tears.

             “Wha- What does that have to do with anything?” He was obviously getting annoyed but knew that there was going to be a reason for what you had said so he resisted snapping.

             “That’s what by best friend said to me on the playground when I was 8. I was crouching down watching an ant hill when Veronica walked up next to me and told me that. I said ‘I did not’, and her face lit up as she shoved her wrist in my face. We were inseparable after that. We thought we were soulmates. We did everything together. That was, up until she was murdered when we were 16.” You paused, trying to control a sob that was building in your chest. “But when the words on my wrist didn’t fade, I knew that something was wrong. Either I had two soulmates or she wasn’t mine and she was a Glitch. But after I watched her casket get lowered into the ground I vowed two things. One, I would help stop the kind of people that did this so no one else would have to feel this way, and two, if I ever found someone else, I wouldn’t let them know that they were my soulmate, I couldn’t do that to her. So, when I thought that us being soulmates could ruin my chances at keeping this job, I panicked, my two vows threatening to be broken in one fowl swoop.” You managed out before the sob that had been building tore its way from your chest and shook your shoulders.

             Spencer stared at you in shock as you talked, watched as you fidgeted and avoided eye contact, as you wrung your hands and bit your lip when you paused. He found himself crossing the floor and closing the distance between you, quietly asking if he could touch you, and when you nodded, he enveloped you in his arms. “I’m so sorry.” You said quietly after you had calmed down.

             “It’s okay, I understand. I forgive you.” He whispered.

             “Can we start over?” You ask, wiping your eyes and looking up at him, you had pulled away slightly to see his face but his arms still rested on your waist.

             A grin spread across his cheeks as he nodded, “Did you know that if you were to add up the costs of all of the items listed in the 12 Days of Christmas it would be around $1.3 million? What is your favorite morning beverage?”

             “I love coffee.” You laughed tearily.

             The two of you stood there for a while, just staring at each other, as if not wanting the moment to end. Spencer’s eyes danced between yours and your lips, “Can I kiss you?” He asked softly, putting a hand on your cheek. You don’t respond, only standing on your tip toes and close the distance between your lips, kissing him softly.


             Spencer grabbed your bracelet off the table without you noticing before you two walked out of the conference room. And when you did, all eyes were on you. You froze, feeling very aware that you were under a microscope, and nervous since these people knew Spencer very well.

             “So?” Morgan asked after a moment, eyebrow raised.

             Spencer grabbed your hand and smiled, “We’re soulmates.”

             “Why did you keep it a secret?” JJ asked you, trying to hide the harshness in her voice, and you didn’t blame her for being upset.

             You glanced up at Spencer before telling the team the same thing you told him, about losing your best friend and who you believed to be your soulmate and how it had affected you. As you talked their gazes soften in understanding.

             “I trust you can work together on the same team?” Hotch asked after a moment to which you and Spencer affirmed.

             “Great.” He said with a stern nod, then turning his attention to the rest of the team. “Great job today everyone, lets head back home.”

             Soon you were back on the plane and sitting next to Spencer, who had fallen asleep. You watched his sleeping form, hands intertwined. ‘Maybe a soulmate isn’t going to be that bad after all.’ You thought to yourself.

 Tags:  ora-la-few  @ros-theoldastronomer @cccherry26 @leah-halliwell92 @loneliestlittlerainbow @fuckingqueerassbitch @maybeinmylife  @beysenpai @hayleesteashoppe @ultrarebelheart @mypotronus @deidreexx @avengersgirllorianna @labgeek @hamiltrin @jeffersonthemadhatter

8 Favourite (Colin Morgan enthused) Observations from “Gloria”

Yes. I have seen/will have seen Gloria eight whole times by the end of its current run at Hampstead Theatre. Geez, Becca, what do you want? A friggin’ medal? Shut up already.

Just before I do that though (hooray)… lets put this fangirl moment to rest, at last, with a bloody good list of good things… 

These are my eight favourite (Colin Morgan related and enthused) observations so far (two shows to go, so CAUTION… there may have to be additions);

Trying not to give away too many spoilers and to those who’ve not read the play it might seem a little vague but it doesn’t matter… nobody’s reading this lol.

In no particular order;

1) This Charming Man - I have utterly convinced myself that Colin Morgan is a Smiths and Stone Roses fan, based on the fact they feature on “Dean’s” desk, right next to a poster for “Beetlejuice”. Coincidence, I think not. I suspected he might be a man of good taste and this pretty much confirms it.

2) Always the professional - One night, when I can only assume the entire cast were high on something because the energy was crazy, a slight mishap occurred. Colin/Dean was at the desk, he slammed it or something and the partition fell, he genuinely just shouted “Fuck”… keeping calm and moving on he made up some line and continued as usual. There was one tiny brief moment where I was pretty sure they were all going to crack up laughing but not Colin. No way. He was still Dean. Still pissed off and trying to do some work. Love it.

3) “I always liked your Twitter” rant - The first two times I saw “Gloria” were before press night and I must confess I much preferred the Twitter rant from those versions. After press night the “tweet tweet tweet” and repeat rant was a little more playful and relaxed even. Or at least, from what I saw after press night. Before press night there was a slight echo of the Dean that was to come with the Twitter rant. It was slightly more unhinged, for one he was standing and would follow Kendra, invading the old personal space ploy. 

I seem to recall the second time he absolutely belted the last “Tweet” and that, for me, was a very effective warning that something angrier is lurking inside of Dean that was going to reach a particularly intense conclusion later on.

4) I see what you did there - This one is more retrospective because I didn’t quite realise it at the time. I was in the front row and next to me some fool decided to get her phone out to take a photograph or two. I’m thinking should I just punch her in the face and get this over with? (I’m not really that aggressive but it was bloody annoying). I didn’t need to do anything though because Colin had it under control. Like a boss. It was this scene, as pictured above, not by her I should point out.

She raised the phone, got him into shot and guess who did something he’s never done before or since? Colin turned and walked back towards his desk, ruining her shot, only to turn back and stand there by Ani’s desk again. At this point she’s given up because she can’t predict his movements and it’s hilarious. I’ve not seen him do that before or since so, as I realised a bit later, he did that on purpose. It gives me great pleasure to announce the winner of Colin Morgan vs Disrespectful photo taker… is… Colin Morgan!

5) American Psycho - The first time I watched “Gloria” I was convinced Colin Morgan sounded exactly like Christian Bale in (that excellent film) American Psycho. Since then it’s bordering more Jesse Eisenberg and someone else whom I can’t quite figure out. One day it’ll come to me. On this note, can I just point out for a man with a thick accent of his own, I think it’s incredible that not even ONCE has his accent slipped. Not even for a second have I heard Colin… it’s just been Dean and Devin the whole time. 

6) Calling China - I think the first joke in the play that convinced me I was bloody in love with it was Dean’s “Calling China” line. A line that actually I’ve heard delivered differently and after reading the play… is somewhat different. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard Dean say several times “You called China FOR something” and on a few other times I’ve heard “You called China OR something”. The latter is how it’s written in the play text. Personally I think “FOR” works better, it suits Dean to assume Kendra’s definitely on the phone to China rather than allow room for interpretation with the “OR” something. Only a writer would deliberate for twenty solid minutes about the differences of one word of dialogue.

7) Be cool Becca… okay fine… just be a twat then - The first Saturday night of the run me and my friend were enjoying a drink outside the theatre when the man himself randomly turned the corner. There he was, totally hiding underneath a hat, he had “please don’t recognise me” written all over his face. So I let him walk by but rather shamefully couldn’t do that without watching his every step as he walked by. In retrospect that was properly uncool and though he probably couldn’t care less if he was here, I’d say… I’m sorry Colin, I didn’t mean to be uncool and it’s nice that you didn’t stop to say “Yo bitch, you wanna stop staring at me? I’m not on the stage right now!”  

8) That’s gonna leave a mark - I’m going to finish with the general observation that I’m stunned Colin has not sustained a serious injury from this play. I’d tell him break a leg but he might do that. There’s the obvious moment of potential injuries during the climatic events of the end of the first half. Where I’ve seen Colin smash into the partition and fall onto the floor right on his back. If it didn’t hurt him it certainly hurt me just watching. Not just this moment though. A few times, right at the very beginning, I’ve seen Colin crash into the desk, the chair base and the pedestal. And yet, the only time the set really defeated him was the time he randomly cut his finger. It’s all that paper everywhere… deadly. 

I suspect they had to up their insurance after that.

Until the next time Mr Colin Morgan… thanks for the lols, the tears and the feels. Not literal feels, that would be slightly misleading. I meant feelings, as in emotions yeah. Just clarifying. 

So hooray, you thought it would never end but here it is, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The End.

College Fun (Spencer Reid Smut)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: 2571

Prompt: sub!Reid smut requested by @mrsgublergram !! It’s not super heavy dom/sub but I really hope you enjoy it nonetheless!!

Summary: After Morgan teases Reid about not getting the fun college sex experience, reader decides to show him what he missed out on.

Warnings: NSFW, Public Sex (just some hand action), Oral sex, Light dom/sub, Swearing

Author’s Note: This was co-written with the lovely Callie (@prettyrickyreid)! Go check her out and follow her if you don’t already!! She did the first half, I did the second half if you’re wondering!! Also, my requests are open so you can send any in here :))) Also please let me know if there are any warnings I should add or any typos I need to fix!! Enjoy!!

Keep reading

The Mistress - Chapter 9

Summary: It’s the morning after Negan showed the reader his vulnerable side and he’s a bit worried about that, but the reader is eager to prove that she can keep it between the two of them.

Characters: Negan, Reader (OC), Dwight, Sherry

Warnings: Swearing, Smut, Choke Play, Blowjob, Rough Sex & a little bit of Voyeurism

Notes: It starts off as kind of a fluff piece, but then gets very smutty. 

AO3 Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9366677/chapters/23713719

Tags: @jasoncrouse @ronweaselz @hiddlesdowneyjr @ali-pennell @melodicdolls @namelesslosers @deepsouth @shanaatjelove11 @warriorqueen1991 @caitydestroys @acklesdowneyandhiddles-ohmy @jaylaelizabethw @prettyepiic @negans-dirty-girl @mamaredd123 @jdmsgal @alyisdead @memphisgirl1977@negans-network @freaktesque @cannedpicklenumber1 @karaokke *As always, please let me know if you want to be added to the tags or if you wanted to be taken off!*  

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Stilinski & (Y/L/N)

Originally posted by girlmeetssterek

Originally posted by heroofretribution

Stiles x Reader


You sat in the middle, row of seats alone, hoping no one would talk to you or ask you to many questions. You felt out of place. You even thought your clothes were out of place despite being exactly the same as everyone else’s.

Just when you were ready to sink down into your chair and wallow in the anxious feeling that spiralled through your stomach a flail of limbs and squeaking shoes burst into the room. “Sorry i’m late.” He muttered.

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  • Auston Matthews: Thanks dad…
  • Why is everyone staring at me?
  • Zach Hyman: You just called Patty “Dad”. You said, “Thanks, dad.”
  • Auston Matthews: What? No, I didn't! I said, “Thanks, man.”
  • Patrick Marleau: Do you see me as a father figure, Auston?
  • Auston Matthews: No, if anything I see you as a brother figure, ‘cause you’re always bothering me!
  • Morgan Rielly: Hey, show your father some respect!