more than glee

There are mouse traps in the Fake AH Crew’s penthouse. Old school, spring loaded mousetraps right out of a cartoon. It takes everyone a while to see them, and even then no one really takes much notice; there’s nothing particularly abnormal about mousetraps after all. Except that the penthouse has never had mice. Except that for all they are bloodthirsty criminals no one in the crew really has the stomach to crush a rodent to death; the Lads short lived plan to keep a pet snake to terrify Geoff ended not because the man in question caught them but instead because none were willing to handle feeding the bloody thing.

So the traps are weird then. The traps no one uses. The traps no one claims. The traps that seem to be multiplying. Not quickly, slow enough to slide under the radar, but month by month the boxes grow until suddenly one of the spare rooms is completely filled.

Which, understandably, is noticed. Geoff calls a meeting and the crew wastes an afternoon squabbling over who and how and why but nothing is resolved. Everyone knows it must be a trap of some sort, someone setting up for a prank or a hilarious stunt, and no one wants to be the target. The culprit does not identify themselves, and there’s more than enough secondhand glee and trepidation going around to muddy the waters and keep the guilty party unknown.

No one is prepared to brave removing the mousetraps themselves, unsure if some trap will be sprung simply by entering the room, so the boxes remain. It’s an uneasy sort of acceptance, no member of the crew wanting to complain and single themselves out, so the threat lays dormant long enough that everyone has to move on, has to stop actively wondering. Even subconsciously they still pass the room gingerly, cautious, but as the months go by and the bedroom remains closed the fact that the boxes continue to multiply is pushed out of mind.

And then Dan flies over to pay Gavin a visit. As usual he’s greeted with a celebration, drink in hand before he’s through the front door; the first of many as the night predictably devolves into something raucous and messy and seamlessly fond. It’s late by the time the teasing and story telling dies down, by the time Dan finally trudges up the hall with his bag, so it takes the crew a moment too long to remember that Dan’s usual room was already occupied. They thunder down the hall just in time to see - nothing. The boxes are gone, the room is immaculate, like nothing strange has been growing there for almost a year, like the crew’s fears were entirely unfounded.

Or so they think, until dawn breaks with Dan screaming the house down, waking everyone up way too early as they scramble to arm themselves and drag their hungover bodies towards the apparent fight taking place in the living room. The fight between Dan and what turns out to be literally thousands of mousetraps, laid out in concentric circles around the main room ready to catch Dan on his usual jetlag-early, half-awake stumble to kitchen.

The culprit would be obvious even without Gavin’s distinctive squeaking giggles ratting him out, perched on the kitchen counter and filming the whole scene on his phone, the areas around him lined with its own little wall of still-loaded mouse traps. Unfortunately, regardless of whatever protection Gavin thought they would buy him, Dan charges right through to tackle him screeching to the ground anyway.

The video winds up on youtube, because of course it does; Gavin is an asshole and sees no reason why the whole world shouldn’t enjoy his endless efforts to torture Dan. By the time Gavin gets the video together, including a time lapse of the set up, various angles from a handful of go pros placed strategically around the room, a slow mo replay of the dawning horror on Dan’s face as the traps go off and the angry bodyslam to close it out, it has all the elements of an excellent video. So of course it goes viral; passed around the internet at lightning speed, shown on various news programs, racking up millions of views before the day is over.

It doesn’t take long for the internet to point out the handful of infamous criminal lookalikes edging into frame at the end, obviously too soft and rumpled and hopelessly entertained to be the real deal, but still a funny comparison all the same. Even more amusing when the blurry footage almost makes them look armed, so-called guns a startling juxtaposition against the silly prank and cutesy patterned pyjamas everyone seems to be wearing. Combined with the obvious opulence of the room, and the kind of cash it must take to buy so many mousetraps just for a stunt, there is no shortage of people joking about the video being a candid episode of MTV Cribs featuring the Fake AH Crew.  

There's two kinds of people:

1. Those who admit they read smut
2. Liars

4

You taught me to be a strong Latina woman. To be bigger than the world was ever gonna give me permission to be. And I have. You taught me not just to exist because I’m worth so much more than that.

Don’t tell me not to fly
I’ve simply got to
If someone takes a spill
It’s me and not you
Who told you you’re allowed to rain on my parade

Santana Lopez (Naya Rivera), Episode 5x09 “Frenemies”

Clinging to This Hating Game 6/?

For the @prompt-a-klainefic blog’s 2017 Reverse Bang

Link to the art by @datshitrandom

the prompt:

Kurt and Blaine couldn’t stand each other in high school, maybe one was a jock/cheerleader and the other a nerd/glee clubber. Or they were bitter rivals for competition solos if they were both in glee club. Now they both live in NY and their friends set them up on a blind date, not knowing they went to the same high school.

High School AU, Cheerio!Kurt, Jock!Blaine
Rating: Explicit
Warnings:  some bullying and homophobic language, teenage sex
Word Count: ~3900 (this chapter)

Forever thanks to @mshoneysucklepink of course

Everything wonky is my fault.

AO3 link Chapter 6

On tumblr: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5

Notes:

So I was considering adding to this part, which is why I was going to hold it a few days, but on reflection I think I like it as is. And I think they go better closer together.

WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Attempted sexual assault, homophobic slurs

-

Chapter 6

Kurt cut school on Friday too. Rachel had texted him to tell him that Blaine had also been accepted and asking him if he’d gotten a letter. Kurt ignored her.

His family had indulged him, and Finn had even been kind enough not to tell Rachel Kurt had been rejected, until Kurt had decided it would be easier for Finn to do it and then he wouldn’t have to answer any questions on Monday. Kurt turned his phone off completely after her seventh text asking how he was and what was he going to do now.

Monday turned out to be unbearable anyway. He managed to avoid talking to Rachel until glee club, but she went on and on until Kurt had to stop her.

“Rachel. You need to stop. You and Blaine can run off to New York together and be Broadway besties and I will stay here in Lima and become the first flaming midwestern car mechanic of Ohio.” The whole class went silent. “But until then could you keep your thrilling futures to yourselves? Please?” He wasn’t probably being unfair to Blaine. He hadn’t gloated about anything. He hadn’t really said anything at all in fact.

Until now.

“I’m not going to NYADA.”

Keep reading

Tied With A Bow (Or Two)

A continuation of a flash fanfic challenge, based on this imagine from imaginexhobbit. As requested by @everyjourneylove​ and @waterlilyinclearwater(yes, I still have your notes saved :))

Characters: Reader, Bofur, Bifur, Bombur, Thorin, Dwalin, Kili, the company
Location: Somewhere on the quest
Warnings: misunderstandings, kissing, 100% pure, organic fluff
Word Count: 2453

This just confirms that I need to write more Bofur. Yup. Similar premise to Falling Stars, but I don’t give a flying fart. So there.

Keep reading

thecactus  asked:

candy behr?

what kind of music do you sing in the shower, if any? if not, then what’s your favorite genre or music?

I actually have a shower playlist on my spotify account!! well, its actually a favorites playlist but theres 180+ songs on there so I’ll just list some of my current faves that i always sing along to ^-^

  • uptown funk by bruno mars
  • stand by you by rachel platten
  • blow your mind by dua lipa 
  • thats what i like by bruno mars
  • new bohemia by transviolet
  • bust a move (the glee cast version bc I’m trash)
  • history by olivia holt
  • white flag by joseph 
  • fire by barns courtney 

I would link them all bc I’m a lazy bean but tysm for asking!!!

npr.org
'Places,' Please: Lea Michele Turns Back To Broadway

Lea Michele was 8 years old when she was cast as the young Cosette in Les Misérables. Then came more Broadway roles — in Ragtime, Fiddler On The Roof and Spring Awakening — before she became Rachel Berry on Glee.

Now, Michele has a new album that plays off her stage history. The title, Places, calls to mind the announcement that actors hear backstage just before the curtain goes up, and Michele tells NPR’s Scott Simon that’s not an accident.

“This is my second record; I had the privilege of recording my first album, Louder, in 2014,” she says. “The sound of that record was a little pop-heavy, and it was important for me, with recording this second record, that I really connect with my true sound. … I wanted a title that was sort of a call to all of that, and a call back to my roots.”

Michele says one of the songs on Places, “Hey You,” is in some ways the sequel to a song she wrote for Louder about the loss of her boyfriend and Glee costar, Cory Monteith.

“With writing the first song, it definitely had its darker tones to it,” she says. “This song in particular — it comes from a much more healed place. It’s just about thinking to yourself, if you had five minutes with someone that you lost, what would you say? And I realized it would be a much more simple conversation than you would imagine.”

Michele spoke with NPR’s Scott Simon about her journey to Broadway as a child, learning more than 800 songs for Glee and the sometimes-confusing process of developing her own style. Hear the interview at the audio link.

Listen

NPR interview

‘Places,’ Please: Lea Michele Turns Back To Broadway

Lea Michele was 8 years old when she was cast as the young Cosette in Les Misérables. Then came more Broadway roles — in Ragtime, Fiddler On The Roof and Spring Awakening — before she became Rachel Berry on Glee.

Now, Michele has a new album that plays off her stage history. The title, Places, calls to mind the announcement that actors hear backstage just before the curtain goes up, and Michele tells NPR’s Scott Simon that’s not an accident.

“This is my second record; I had the privilege of recording my first album, Louder, in 2014,” she says. “The sound of that record was a little pop-heavy, and it was important for me, with recording this second record, that I really connect with my true sound. … I wanted a title that was sort of a call to all of that, and a call back to my roots.”

Michele says one of the songs on Places, “Hey You,” is in some ways the sequel to a song she wrote for Louder about the loss of her boyfriend and Glee costar, Cory Monteith.

“With writing the first song, it definitely had its darker tones to it,” she says. “This song in particular — it comes from a much more healed place. It’s just about thinking to yourself, if you had five minutes with someone that you lost, what would you say? And I realized it would be a much more simple conversation than you would imagine.”

Michele spoke with NPR’s Scott Simon about her journey to Broadway as a child, learning more than 800 songs for Glee and the sometimes-confusing process of developing her own style. Hear the interview at the audio link.

http://www.npr.org/2017/05/06/527062379/places-please-lea-michele-turns-back-to-broadway