more than freinds

venting.

The past couple nights i’ve spent with a friend, and they were honestly the best nights i’ve ever had. He is honestly the only person that truly understands me, and knows basically everything about me. He knows my past, what mistakes i’ve made, big or small & he still never judges me. It killed me that he had to leave today, it really did.

With me going through this break up & dealing with my ex, he’s been there for me, even with me going back and forth with my ex & just all the drama, he’s been there. It sucks that don’t live close to eachother. He’s such a sweet,caring, fun guy. I see all the good in him, i see how much of a great guy he is. He made me realize that i deserve better, that i deserve to be treated better. 

I love how i can talk to him, not just talk but actually hold a conversation for like ever. I’ve never had someone want to talk to me like that. I feel like a shitty person because i’ve know him & we’ve been freinds for almost 4 years & he’s seen me date a horrible guy and put me through hell but i didn’t care. He stood there for me, no matter what, even when i could of been so much better to him.

Now, since the past couple nights i’ve spent hanging with him, i’ve realized that i have some really fucking strong feelings for him. I know he does too. I’ve come to terms that my ex boyfriend is a complete jackass, and my feelings toward him are gone. 

It might sounds weird, this whole post but basically what im trying to say is that im in love with my friend, i always have. I’ve been to blinded to see it from the start. There feelings are just different, completely different. It’s a good thing we talk everyday, and it makes things alittle easier.

im just happy, im sad he’s gone & im stuck in this stupid town where i can’t get away from bullshit & all the drama my ex starts no matter what. sorry guys i just wanted to vent.