more self criticism

hey, remember when lars:
  • obviously had social anxiety issues and desperately wanted the cool kids to accept him and to fit in
  • didn’t exactly get along on the best of terms with steven, but still wasn’t a complete asshole to him (was visibly apologetic when he made steven angry for insulting his mom, smiled and returned the chest high-five steven gave him)
  • was, as a kid in the flashback in horror club, shown as kind towards ronaldo and accidentally, not on purpose, tore his picture apart due to his major self-esteem issues
  • actually attempted to credit steven for saving the cool kids from rose’s moss despite the fact that he could have taken all the credit due to his desire to be accepted and thought of highly by the cool kids
  • was shown having hidden talents, such as cooking
  • got genuinely concerned over spilling coffee on garnet in the episode future vision and asked if she was okay

had a jerkish, standoffish personality but obviously had many self-esteem related issues underneath it all that could have potentially been fleshed out and allow him to grow to become a wiser, well-rounded character and realize that it’s okay to be yourself? i miss that lars

the signs when stressed

(check moon)

aries: angry; snaps at anything with a pulse

taurus: creative block; quietly frustrated

gemini: becomes forgetful; can’t concentrate

cancer: withdraws; needs quiet time with family or close friends

leo: uses confidence to cover vulnerability; low-key has the least self-esteem

virgo: becomes even more self-critical than usual; barely speaks

libra: uses friends as a distraction; most likely to use retail therapy

scorpio: withdraws; glares when you interrupt their brooding

sagittarius: panics; literally escapes and takes a holiday as soon as possible

capricorn: low-key freaking out; orders people around more than usual

aquarius: won’t acknowledge they’re struggling; uses literally any distraction

pisces: escapes into a daydream world; low-key panic attacks

need to remind myself that just bcuz someone doesnt talk to me as much as they used to it doesnt mean theyre mad at me or dislike me or anything, life just comes first. think thats something ive had a lot of issues and insecurities with before and i just need to be confident in myself and my actions and that people typically dont have a reason to dislike me its just the way friendships go. the periods where u r talking constantly and around each other a lot are the outliers not the norm

Top 10 ENTP Representations

@maplequeen15 asks:  Which character would you say is the biggest and most accurate representation of an ENTP?

I couldn’t pick just one so I am doing a top 10 starting from 10. Many will probably disagree the order of the characters and some of the characters chosen to make the top 10. Others will reblog complaing: Interesting, but I don’t agree with some of these. But boo them. Just enjoy.

10. Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries)

Originally posted by infinitepossibilitiesofficial

Some may wonder why Damon made the list, especially since he is usually mistyped as ESTP. If he is mistyped so much, he can’t be an obvious ENTP. Well he is and he is such a great representation because he isn’t sciencey nor does he seem academic which many find to be a tenant of NT types (or The Rationals as some circles call them). His Ne needs to be mentally stimulated and he is always looking at the many possibilities. His Ne makes him a dreamer at heart, but his Ti makes him skeptical and cynical. We get an ENTP who is acting out crying for attention in Damon. He used to look at the world to see what it offered him and didn’t need to look inward. 

But Elena makes him reflect on his life and his choices. He has always been a true romantic at heart like many ENTPs are, but his life of being second best, of being labeled his whole vampire life has led him to fear his deepest desires. Si stability and something unconditional or someone in his life. He makes the list because he is a perfect, a PERFECT representation of the ENTP who hates being controlled or manipulated. 

9. Jack Skellington (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Originally posted by b-witched

Jack Skellington is a classic ENTP idea man. He gets bored of the repetition of Halloween and needs something that mentally interests him, but more importantly is looking for a challenge, his Ti. Christmas fascinates his Ne, but he tries to use his Ti logic to understand it, something that is more a “feeling” than a system to deconstruct. You watch an ENTP trying to understand something that needs other functions to really explain. But no one else explained it so you see an ENTP deconstruct the rituals of Christmas and re-imagine them. His inferior Si wants to find something unconditional and he thinks Christmas will be that thing, but it was really his Ne pushing him for more new ideas.

Something we see here with him  is the ENTP tertiary Fe and inferior Si working together. He truly wants to force new cultural rituals to his people. It really is the Ne-Ti trying to work with the Fe-Si. Just fantastically awkward. Which puts him at number 9 on the list.

8. Hiro Hamada (Big Hero 6)

Originally posted by honeylemonspowerpurse

Like many ENTPs he has the Ne-Ti ups and downs. His Ne makes him an idealist, an innovator, and a person who wants to shape the future. It can make him very optimistic, but his Ne makes him easily bored. So when his Ne is engaged he is high on life, on his idea. He works in spurts. But his Ti makes him skeptical and more importantly self-critical as it is focused inward. That mixed with his Ne distracibility are the reasons he needed Tadashi to point him in the right direction. 

This also comes from the fact that as an ENTP Hiro looks outward wondering what the world can offer him, what the world owes him. His journey as a character is using his Ti more for self reflection and working with his Fe to see how he can contribute to humanity. This ENTP journey of finding what he can offer the world is what places him at number 8.

7. Chandler Bing (Friends)

Originally posted by princesconsuela

No one ever disagrees on this character being an ENTP. His constant babbling combined with social awkwardness makes him a prime ENTP example. His Ne makes him unable to NOT talk, his Ti makes him skeptical and appear emotionless to other types, and he uses his Fe with his humor to push people away from seeing the real him, of really looking at him. This Ne-Fe deflective observational humor and sarcasm are mechanisms this ENTP uses to not reflect on himself, unlike Hiro Hamada. 

Chandler Bing makes number 7 on this list because of his iconic ENTP humor but most of all for his 10 season journey of overcoming his fear of his inferior Si function. Chandler always had a fear of settling down, of commitment, etc. It felt like it pinned him down and he wasn’t connected with himself, his feelings, etc. There are so many times his Si takes over negatively and he uses not just humor to evade situations that make him uncomfortable but he leaves the woman he loves, Monica in certain situations. The more he wants to cling on, the more his functions fight each other and he pushes what he wants away, a life with Monica away. By the end we see him not lose his quirky self, but become less afraid and use his Si in a healthy way.

6. Tyrion Lannister (Game of Thrones)

Originally posted by gameofthronesdaily

Tyrion, the Game of Thrones fan favorite. Of course, he made the list. His Ne-Ti makes him always want a mental challenge and makes it so he isn’t easily fooled in a universe that everyone is fooled. His Ne makes him wish for a better life, but his Ti makes him skeptical of the naive. The classic hesitant ENTP dreamer. 

What puts him on this list though links back to something discussed with Damon Salvatore (no. 10): expectations. As an ENTP he is able to read a room and people, but he isn’t naturally able or more not naturally comfortable with reflecting typical social norms in response to these readings. But his stature and treatment from his family has left him able to navigate people’s expectations quite well. But even then when people put expectations on him, his ENTP ego pops up and he acts less rationally and contained than usual. This puts him at number 6, because of the subtlety of this part of his character as an ENTP. 

5. Rick (Rick & Morty)

Originally posted by l-l-lickmyballs

This ENTP is number 5 because they combine the mad scientist trope with the dark existential philosophy of many ENTPs. He is constantly searching for more and is critical of all systems. He shows the ENTP wanting more from life, but through Ne-Ti analyzing, he dashes his own dreams. Unable to find and cope with his Si he spirals into his dark disposition. Morty is the one thing keeping him going. Rick is a great one to check out if you want some ENTP dramedy, chaos, and madness in your life.

4. Cat Grant (Supergirl)

Originally posted by thekeyunderthemat

Cat Grant is such an inspiring female ENTP, there was no way she wasn’t making the list. She shows that Ne idealism and Ti skepticism I have been talking about. Her Ne-Ti wants to find the truth for the sake of truth and her Fe makes her feel it is her social obligation to tell the people the truth through the media outlet that is her empire.

She also shows how ENTPs are great at reading other people and situations, but not themselves. Their inferior Si makes them almost afraid to face themselves and their Ti makes it harder for them to talk to people in caring, socially acceptable ways. Cat Grant is the epitome of this. It is hard for ENTPs to be truly open and on Supergirl we get to watch Cat Grant become open with others in a realistic amount of time without losing her powerful demeanor She is also a great example of how not all ENTPs are procrastinators who don’t get things done. When ENTPs find their place, their passion, and follow it there is nothing they can’t do. Cat Grant found her idea or dream, and she never stops chasing it. 

She also shows that although she doesn’t show love and admiration in the usual Feeling type way, ENTPs are full of love and respect for others. You just have to peel back the shields they put up. They aren’t all evil and can be the best advocates for the underdogs.

3. Lily Frankenstein (Penny Dreadful)

Originally posted by lilyfrankenstein

If you haven’t been caught up on Penny Dreadful or plan on watching it in the future, be warned that this will spoil many things.

Like every character on Penny Dreadful Lily is a complicated character. In her previous life as Brona Croft circumstances left her functions to not be utilized. She was used and abused by the patriarchy. But we saw hints at it underneath her outside factors in her inferior Si. She wasn’t able to fully let Ethan Chandler in during their relationship. 

When she is reborn as Lily we see her embrace the strengths of not only her new found self and immortality, but of her functions. She becomes a matriarchal visionary. Her Ne-Ti makes her a great analyst and her tertiary Fe makes it of social constructs and systems. She deconstructs the patriarchal Victorian society and hopes to tear it down. Like all these ENTPs she is searching for that unconditional bit of life and she hopes female mastery of society will be that unconditional thing. Her observational skills and Fe manipulation also made her the perfect woman to fool Victor Frankenstein. No duh she makes number 3 on this list.

2. Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

Originally posted by zanaphea

The tenth doctor can’t stop running to see what the universe has to offer and yes he is logical like all the Doctors. (Don’t need to be a T for that.) What puts him at number 2 is how his Ti and Si effect his overall self. His Ti makes him almost arrogant in how he defies the rules of the universe. His Ti makes him see every situation as subjective and although he uses logic it is particular to every situation he is in. It can make him cold sometimes, but this coldness comes from his Fe caring. But the order makes it hard for him to really express himself on that emotional level. 

It is like many of these ENTPs, his Si journey is what puts him on the list. His Si wants him to find his place, something stable despite all his running around the universe. But when he not only loses his world, his people, he loses his love, Rose, and his Best Friend, Donna. He has no unconditional thing tethering him and he breaks down becoming incredibly emotional. The thing that leads people to mistype him as ENFP. But his break down, his emotional break comes specifically because he is an ENTP. His Fe makes him want to help everyone and he becomes arrogant and misses the little things that matter, because he was so focused on his Ne, the big picture. It is just heartbreaking, which puts him at number two.

1. Jeff Winger (Community)

Originally posted by beeroyalty

No one should really be shocked that Winger is number one on this list once they think about it. He is such an ENTP in everything he does. His Ne-Ti lets him wing it through life without having to do much work. Once he is in community college and he isn’t able to skate on his dominant function like he used to, he has to finally consult his Ti. Before he would skip to his Fe, talk his way out of any situation by pointing out the systematic flaws, or any flaws in the other person’s stance and he could get away with anything. But at college and with the study group they don’t let him get away with this looping dysfunctional behavior. 

He has to reflect more and his Ti still makes him seem cold, but it is him getting in touch with his Si like so many other ENTPs, on and off this list, that makes him the feeling, sentimental, glue to the group Winger we come to love. Making him number one on the list. 

Seriously, check out the episode when it is his first day as a Law Professor. Nothing screams ENTP like him in that episode


Side Note: If I went to redo this, I don’t know where but The Joker from DC would be on this list.


Other Top 10s: ISTP | INTJ | ISFJ

Colours meme: Dark yellow for Inferiority Complex

(Yellow is one of the brightest and happiest color, stimulates our mental faculties; it activates the left or analytical brain, and makes people more mentally analytical and self critical of both themselves and others. For these reasons, any dark shade in it can actually indicate an inclination toward depression and melancholy, lack of love and low self-worth. Dark yellow relates also to the constant complainer and the cynic.)

Please Be Kind To Your Fanfic Writers

Today on the fic I published on AO3, in addition to the usual disclaimer I put at the top of all my fics for, you know, legal-ish reasons, I added something else: Please be kind and tip your fanfic writers in the form of comments and/or kudos.

If you’ve been following along on my blog at all, especially my “on the continued subject of constructive criticism” tag, you’ll know that there are a lot of fic writers in our fandom who are unhappy because of, saddened by, discouraged by, and even want to quit writing because of the lack of feedback they often receive on fics they publish. I’ve struggled with a similar lack of feedback, and I know how absolutely awful it feels.

So I wanted to add that simple reminder to my fics because, much like with delivery drivers, where some restaurants (in the US, at least) will print reminders on receipts to tip delivery drivers, since they’re paid below minimum wage, sometimes readers need be reminded that what we do as fic writers is hard and often very thankless work, and asking that you take a few seconds to give some feedback doesn’t seem like too extreme a request.

Now, this request is obviously easier done on AO3. It takes next to nothing to kudos, and barely much more to leave a quick comment. Tumblr is much harder, because tumblr is not designed to be a fanfic publishing platform, and I realize that. Liking a fic on tumblr puts it in your likes, which some people don’t want. Same with reblogging – I may love a fic, but I don’t really want it on my blog. And I’m not asking that you do so. I do, however, ask that you consider, if you don’t want to like or reblog a fic, maybe popping into a fic author’s ask box and leaving them a quick message (anonymously or otherwise) telling them what you thought of their fic (complimentary or critically). This isn’t a one-time thing, there’s no reward if you do, but just think of how nice it would be to the people who write fics for no money and just for your entertainment.

Most of the writers I know on tumblr, especially the ones who struggle because of a lack of feedback, would be more excited than I can possibly explain here to receive a couple of asks from people saying something as simple as that they enjoyed their fic. And given the hours we fic writers often spend on fics, that seems like not too bad a repayment to me. 

So please, be kind to your fanfic writers. It’s a symbiotic relationship between writers and readers, and we need you to let us know that sometimes, you need us and you appreciate what we’ve put forward.

The signs as my Taurus friend understands them
  • Aries: really mad? or is that the Greek god...of war right? anger. it sounds like "airy" so maybe like. chaotic neutral.
  • Taurus: hahaha that's me! sad. um very tough and opinionated. good at supporting people, bad at change. wants to be alone a lot.
  • Gemini: everyone hates them I dunno why?? extroverted with a secret side. probably difficult to relate to, or tell when they're being serious or how they're feeling (maybe they don't even know).
  • Cancer: hmm crabs. crabs are a thing I relate to them for some reason. chill and emotional probably. good music taste! named for an unfortunate cellular anomaly.
  • Leo: GIANT ASSHOLES. as far as I know. um probably also a lil emotional but definitely concerned with how other feel about them. does brave/stupid things to gain acceptance or maybe just because. really nice and sweet underneath, but maybe a little selfish with how they use it.
  • Virgo: ooh I like these name. lively and pleasant but maybe like too lively to the point where like it's exhausting for other people. in tune with nature and other people and the world in general. present.
  • Libra: oh this is a weird one. probably romantic not in the love sense but in the grandiose fantastical sense. very aesthetic. has a very particular view on life and themselves. dramatic af but also kind.
  • Scorpio: I KNOW ONE. scathingly sarcastic to cover up emotions. fiercely protective and cares aLOT. appreciates displays of affection and knowing they're right. literally does not give a fuck what people think and puts their business out there. but also saves parts of themselves for specific people they're very close to.
  • Sagittarius: literally I just think of Bumi from avatar the last airbender. strong and probably a little annoying sometimes. definitely a good friend to have around. probably psyched about constellations? secretly a wood elf.
  • Capricorn: another weird one. internalizes everything people say to them negatively, partly because drama is their water. but when in a good headspace can accomplish really great things and have internal peace. get this: tells CORNy jokes! get it? because capriCORN? ah, I'm hilarious.
  • Aquarius: oooh probably sweet and bubbly! needs lots of attention, doesnt always know how to go about getting it. really into singing and/or maybe dancing, something creative and performance related. looks exactly like mermaid man from spongebob.
  • Pisces: SMOL PRECIOUS HUMAN BEAN. emotions level 100, defense level 25, humor level 2 or 1000 depending on who you're talking to. lots of feels but not in the same way as other people - more self aware and critical. pushes self to do great things, can get burned out, gives the image of togetherness and confidence. secretly worried about many things. great at listening.

Because someone gave it a shout, fanficrants is definitely for people who are new to fandom to take a look back at the old fandom days and see how “discourse culture” isn’t any new regardless of how older fans chose to romanticize older fandom culture. In fact it was because of that site that I became a lot more self-aware and critical of certain fandom trends like the bad treatment of female characters and characters of color. Became a lot more critical about certain tropes like rape and abuse being used as sets up for a romantic story, etc.

I know a lot of people believe Tumblr started this trend to be critical of everything and not letting people “just have” (which usually means just being as shitty as possible with no sequences). But communities to discuss fandom trends and be critical of them in the hopes of improving fandom experience for EVERYONE have always been around.

Request: Bidders find out the MC was a spy sent to kill them all along

-Mature content: attempts to murder, suicidal actions, sexual references-

——-

Soryu:
His heart was racing. In the worst possible way.
He had thought of every possible direction for this confrontation to go down. Perhaps there would be fire. Perhaps there would be explosions. Perhaps there would be a craze of open fire. Perhaps he would lose Inui or Samejima. Perhaps he would die.
But never. Never in his best preparations and expectations would he imagine you, standing behind him, one hand gripping his jacket, the other holding the gun that was pressed to the pulsing point of his throat, so close and your finger so tight on the trigger that any sort of struggle would send ten grams of metal through his skull.
“_________.” There was no plea in his voice. Raw and ragged pain burned through your ear to your heart.
“Shut up!” You scream, digging the muzzle of the pistol harder against his neck.
“_________.”
“STOP TALKING!” You cry out, almost begging him to be silent.
No. He didn’t mean that much to you. You couldn’t let him mean that much.
You had to kill him.
You were raised to kill.
You weren’t supposed to have a heart.

“It’s all your fault!” You shriek at Soryu, and he would almost be stunned if he haven’t been already horrified at the situation. “It’s all your fault!” The pistol jams against his head again, and you feel tears fill your eyes.
Soryu…
He had been kind and courteous to you, captivating the heart that you hadn’t known existed, making you unable to fulfill the sole purpose that you had been working in Tres Spades for so long for.
“_________.” He said quietly, a third time, his cool yet sad tone piercing your chest like the bullet you were going to put through his head. “Just do it.”
“Boss!” Inui roared from where he was kneeling on the floor, a gun to his head. Beside him lay Samejima, lying face down in a pool of his own blood. You could scarcely see the crimson spray from around Soryu’s wide shoulders, yet the sound of the shot rang in the warehouse, ringing in your ears. Soryu tensed as he watched the body fall. Tears slide down your cheeks. There was a thud.
This was what you had been raised to do.
Raised.
Abused.
Shaped into this.

“Do what you need.” He said softly, a tenderness underlying the broken voice. “Do it, _________. At least it is by your hand.”

Mamoru:
He was still asleep.
You glare at the mess of the suite.
I hate him.
I hate him.
I absolutely, completely hate him.

You forced your mind to think of every way he wronged you, desperately trying to fully justify your reasons.
He loved you.
He wasn’t very good at expressing himself, but he loved you with every scrap of his soul. You glanced at the sleeping man, scruffy and messy and smelling of cigarettes.
“I hate you.”
You whisper, half to yourself. It seemed like it was more self criticism than projected hatred. Climbing over him, you sit yourself on his chest, taking the pistol from the holster at the back of your jeans. 
You cock it back and grasp it with both hands, pressing the muzzle against the Adam’s apple that shifted ever so slightly in his sleep. The dark eyes suddenly flew open, and you bite back the urge to flee.
“Sweetheart?”
He looked thoroughly confused, all fatigue escaping his face with the colour as he realizes.
“You were here to kill me, huh?”
“Not another word.” You snap, drawing a sharp breath as you try to compose yourself.
“Are you going to kill me, sweetheart?”
There was no fear in his voice. He should be afraid! He should be cowering and pathetically begging for you to spare his miserable life. You feel your heart ache at the way it wasn’t at all going to plan. Mamoru’s words were hollow, haunted with betrayal and heartbreak as he gazed up at you with those soft, tolerating eyes as always.
“You never grow up, kid.”
His voice was so soft, filled with that helpless love he had when he was completely smitten with you, completely taken, when he was moving over you in the heat of the-
No. No more reminiscing.
You felt the tears escape your eyes.
“Mamoru!” You yell at him. “Just die!” You dig the pistol against his throat harder. His gasping choke stirs the concern within you, and you force back the desire to ask if he was alright.
“S-Sweeth-eart…” He sighed with a rasp. “Come on. Get it over with.”

Ota:
The paintings would sell for so much more once you were done.
Planting you beside the Angelic Artist allowed for the organization to get their hands on many more valuable paintings and sketches. The only thing left now, was to do away with the young man and skyrocket the prices of those paintings.
The organization knows. They raised you, they taught you obedience, they placed you strategically in the hotel for you to use your body to comfort and seduce the artist for his valuables.
Honey coloured eyes gazed back at you with outright hurt.
“You’re a smart doggy, deceiving me for so long.”
He hasn’t called you Koro for ages. Your heart thudded painfully against your ribs at the old nickname, the one that called up a flood of memories of how much he loved you and treasured you. Shaking those thoughts out of your head, you grip the pistol harder.
“Are you going to shoot me now?”
Ota’s voice was stiff.
“I… yes.” You reply, barely more than a whisper, too ashamed of yourself to raise your volume.
What have you done?
He loved you. He truly loved you. He thought all those kisses, all those nights, all those sweet promises were real.
You wished they were.
You wished you could love him, love him without the threat of your entire upbringing looming over you.

Ota gave you the masking smile he gave the media every time something went wrong, the beautiful, attractive smile of perfect happiness that was so sickeningly fake in the moment you wanted to cry.
“Well, then aren’t you going to get on with it?”
“I… I’m sorry for lying.”
“No you’re not, Koro.” His eyes darkened. “You’re not lying. You love me. I’m not blind, Koro. I can taste it on your lips. I can feel it every time we-“
“Shut up!” You shriek, feeling the tears clinging helplessly to your eyelashes. “STOP DOING THAT!”
“Alright.”
Ota had never agreed to anything so calmly, and you blink in confusion, gazing at him through a blur of tears and an iron sight on your pistol.
“Right here.” He put a hand over his heart for a moment. “Shoot your master. And then you’re free, Koro.” The angelic smile had faded into a ghostly look of forlorn pain. “Then you’re free, Koro.”

Eisuke:
You felt so scared it was unreasonable.
You were the one holding the pistol, pointing it at the CEO behind the desk.
But somehow, a cold chill was spreading through your spine and body, out to your fingertip that clung to the trigger with only the faint memory of your order to kill.
“You lied.”
His voice was cold, and you feel tremors through your body as you meet his eyes. The brown gaze was bleak and sorrowful, contrasting the iciness of his words.
“I…”
“You said you loved me.”
“Eisuke…”
You shook your head helplessly.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
You were supposed to walk in, shoot him, leave a suicide letter, and walk out. That had been the plan since your placement at his side.

You weren’t supposed to fall in love with him.
“That was the plan all along, wasn’t it?”
He got out of his desk and began to approach you.
I can’t do this.
You take two steps back.
“Don’t come any closer!” You cry out, shaking your pistol at him.
“_____________, you are foolish.”
“STOP!”
Eisuke stops, holding out his hands. There was an unreadable look in his eyes that almost. Almost. Perhaps. Seemed like heartache.
“You are in love with me.”
“N-No.”
“Then shoot me. Fulfill your pesky little plan that you had been brewing for a year in my bed.”
He strips off his suit jacket and throws it to the side. Your eyes dart and follow the garment for a moment, and refocus on his face.
“Shoot me.” He extends his arms again, and your tearful gaze fixes on the breast pocket of the violet dress shirt.
“I…”

Baba:
You were pathetic.
You were supposed to be the one killing, the one in control, the one commanding the situation.
Baba held the pistol in one hand, having skillfully stolen it out of your grasp. He clutched both your wrists with the other, staring at you with wide, anguish filled eyes.
“Princess, are you really going to shoot me?”
“Let me go!” You struggle against his tight grip, and Baba shakes his head slowly.
“My sweet, you couldn’t have been planning to kill me.”
“I’m going to kill you!” You scream back, feeling your insides tear apart at the decision you hadn’t made. It was the initial plan. It wouldn’t be difficult getting into his bed as long as someone was willing to open their legs, and you had been placed at the hotel for that sole purpose. To get close to him and kill him.
Falling in love with him, however, had no space or legitimacy at existence upon your agenda.
He grabbed your hand and put it around the grip of the pistol. You look up at him with wide eyes, shocked at what he had done. Baba took your hands in his, cupping them around the pistol, and guided the muzzle over his heart.
“Right here.” He said quietly. There as a shadow of pain and betrayal in his features, and you feel your hands shaking in his. “Why are you shaking, my lady?”
He squeezed your hands and threaded your index finger through the trigger guard.
“Baba…”
“It was your goal, wasn’t it? To kill me?”
“I…”
It was too easy. You just needed to pull that trigger. Something lodged in your throat, and it was suddenly too difficult to just stand on your own two feet. You couldn’t do it.
“Don’t you need to report back to your organization?”
Yes. You had to.
But you couldn’t.
You couldn’t gaze into the eyes that you love, at the man that you love, and pull that trigger.
“I…”
“I wouldn’t inconvenience my princess like that.” Baba says with an air of nonchalance, yet his facial expression was tormented and saddened. “Just pull the trigger.”
“Why are you not mad at me?” You ask, feeling hot tears slide down your cheeks. “I lied to you, I… I just slept with you to get close to you! I… I’m horrible! You should hate me! You should shoot me! Why are you doing this?”
Baba was silent for a while, and you felt your tears stroked away.
“Because I love you.”


Do they all die?
Idk anon didn’t specify
Thanks for the read!
Hope you enjoyed!

anonymous asked:

Just wanted to say I adore your cute plump Usagi!

Thank you, very much! I’m glad that people seem to like seeing a fat Usagi. I don’t always draw her chubby but as soon as I add any stylisation into the picture she tends to get bigger too. It’s how I - and many other fans - see her.

I’m not sure how to express this without sounding ungrateful, though, but since I’m fat too it’s kinda staying with me; the vast majority of responses to those images all seem to focus on Usagi being fat, to the exclusion of anything else. At first that was cool but as it kept happening it made me a little uncomfortable, because it made it feel like she was somehow unnatural? I want to say “it’s not revolutionary to draw Sailor Moon fat” but unfortunately at this point it still is, a little. But it shouldn’t be. If it were just a passive illustration of Usagi standing there I could understand, but making her size the focus of any comments when it’s not the focus of the image feels… tokenistic?

Like, the focal point of those images was the dynamic and relationship between her and Mamoru, but very few people seem to have commented on that. What people were taking away from it wasn’t “a girl and a guy with chemistry“. It wasn’t even “a fat girl and a guy with chemistry”. It was just “look!! A fat girl!!!! cute”. It’s kinda patronising ‘cause it lowkey implies that fat people can’t just do normal things without their size being the focus. (Fatronising.)

But then I try and take a step back and realise that for a lot of people, Usagi’s size IS the focus, simply because it still is uncommon to see portrayals of people that size/shape. I know what it’s like. And I know that a lot of the people making these comments are other chubby people who identify with the images, and it’s natural for that to be your strongest reaction. So I’m not trying to tell people to stop, exactly. Just be more self-critical? Particularly if you make these comments but you’re not fat yourself; you can support & endorse fat characters/people without constantly drawing attention to the fact that they’re fat.

Anyway. Thank you very much, again. I am genuinely glad that feedback to (one of) the ways I draw Usagi has been so positive and I intend to keep drawing Chubby Moon!

anonymous asked:

But haven't you ever considered that "feminism" doesn't stem from the word female, but is closer to the word "feminine," because society shames men for anything they do that isn't masculine, and it forces women to be feminine, judging any woman who is different (masculine, if we're going with polar opposites)? And feminism is actually, in addition to supporting gender equality, about destroying the idea that femininity is a bad thing for all genders?

I ask because it just seems like you’re doing what you believe feminists do. And that is ignoring the fact that all social justice movements have ignorant people running around making radical arguments and decisions. The fact is that “antifeminism” as well as the word “feminism” just seems to focus solely on what women (and male supporters of these women) are doing wrong or right. I guess my question is if you’re trying to advocate equality, why choose a problematic title like “anti-feminist”?

Well there’s a lot of ground to cover here, anon….

Firstly my objection to feminism has nothing whatsoever to do with the word ‘feminism’ itself. My objection to feminism is to do with the actions, tactics and rhetoric of the movement. It could be called Bananapants for all I care - if it actually fought for gender equality in a manner which I believed was effective and if it actually espoused ideas which I believed then I would support it regardless of its name. But feminism does not do this.

You correctly say that society shames men for anything they do that isn’t traditionally masculine. And society also judges women for anything they do that isn’t traditionally feminine. However I would argue that women have been able to escape their gender role to some degree, whereas men have not. This is partly due to feminism and is one of its successes for women. For examples we can look at things as simple as it now being socially acceptable for women to wear trousers. We can also look at the fact that women who show an interest in taking on traditionally male roles in the workplace are actively encouraged by many and are often highly praised for this. But this same change has not been achieved for men. And I will argue that this is partly because of the flaw in feminist thinking which means it gives no attention to men. Feminism (as the most visible and powerful gender equality movement) has placed all its focus on women and society has simply bought into this with little thought, so men have essentially been left behind in this area.

Now in your ask you assert that feminism is about destroying the idea that femininity is a ‘bad thing for all genders’ and yet just before that you basically say women are judged for being masculine. So I am afraid I find that a little bit confusing, would you like to clarify?

The assertion that you seem to be making is that society sees femininity as automatically lesser than masculinity. And this is another line of thinking that I hear coming out of feminism, and another thing about feminism that I disagree with so thank you for bringing that up. Feminism essentially teaches us a version of history viewed only through the eyes of women. So while looking a gender equality from a female only perspective it is of course going to come to seemingly obvious but unfortunately myopic conclusions about how society views men and women.

The truth is that (as you have said) society judges men for stepping outside their gender role just as it judges women for stepping outside their gender role. However the difference comes in the way many feminists explain this - saying that in each case this is judging women negatively. Women are judged negatively for stepping out of their gender role and this is sexism against women. But when men step out of their gender role feminists say it’s because society has a problem with femininity and paint this as being sexist against women. This is a massive double standard and is the exact type of thinking that pushes me away from feminism - every problem faced by men is twisted into misogyny, men are not allowed to have their own problems, everything must focus on women. 

At this point I will say that I am in no way ignoring the fact that every movement has ’ignorant people running around making radical arguments and decisions’ In fact I am painfully aware of this when it comes to feminism. And just to point out - I am also painfully aware that there are ignorant people who call themselves anti-feminists, and there are ignorant people who call themselves many other labels. I am painfully aware of all of this and I do my best to call them out whenever I can. However the fact remains that many of the ideas I object to are coming out of mainstream feminism. I obviously object to the radicals within the movement, however I am not biased enough to think that the radicals represent all of feminism. But still I find myself disagreeing with many parts of feminism outwith the more radical areas.

Next you say that “antifeminism” as well as the word “feminism” just seems to focus solely on what women (and male supporters of these women) are doing wrong or right. Well actually antifeminism focuses on the word feminism. I am not focusing at all on what women are doing wrong or right. I am focusing on what the members of feminism (be they male or female) are doing wrong or right. I choose to take the anti-feminist label knowing it may have negative connotations. I do this on purpose because I think it is vitally important to point out the flaws of feminism in order to make the discussion on gender equality as open and objective as possible. I believe that feminism has had too much influence on society to the point where feminist ideas are readily accepted by many without any question or critical thinking involved. I strongly believe that it is time for that to change, and that is why I label myself as ant-feminist - because I want more people to question what feminism is saying rather than simply accepting it as truth. And I find taking a label such as this often gives an opening for discussion on that topic - as has happened here with you.

I am happy to say I am seeing more and more self proclaimed 'critical feminists’ on Tumblr who are members of the movement but who are also objective enough to take a step back and question the approach feminism takes with these issues [ just-smith feminism-is-complicated (not 100% sure if they identify as a feminist or not actually) and  the-critical-feminist are good examples]. In fact it is through anti-feminists and non feminists interacting with some of these critical/reasonable feminists that I believe we can move things forward for the betterment of everybody.

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Quote Swap (Emma Swan, Once Upon a Time): You want people to look at you differently? Make them. You want to change things, you’re gonna have to go out there and change them yourself.