more of me being v upset

Trust Issues

Bucky x OFC

Summary: You have a phobia of heights which means being on a plane in the middle of the Atlantic was a bad idea. Yet, here you are.

Warnings: Language, I talk about phobias of heights and planes so if that stuff upsets some of you then maybe you should stay away, there are also slight mentions of panic attacks/anxiety so just another quick little FYI.

Word Count: 3k

Author’s Note: so this is my first one shot ever posted on here (so exciting!!) and idk I hope you guys enjoy it bc that would make me really happy??? I have a phobia of heights and just the thought of Bucky being so comforting and adorable makes me v happy so this was the result.

Originally posted by natpekis

I hated Bucky Barnes. I hated him more than anything on this entire fucking planet. And I made damn well sure he was aware of that.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” I muttered as I stared out of the cargo plane. “You told me this was intel gathering? In and out.”

“I know,” Bucky’s voice came through over the comm. “Which is what you’re doing. You’re going to be in and out.”

“Did you just happen to forget to mention the whole me jumping out of a plane portion of the mission?”

“A minor detail, really.”

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ok ok so i rewatched beach city drift and theres just??? a lot of really great things that resonated with me

when steven and connie are telling greg about how kevin kept asking them to dance with him even after they said no gregs first reaction was to validate their feelings and tell them how sorry he is that it happened and!!!! thats so important!!! 
like, greg didnt say anything along the lines of “why didnt you tell me sooner?” or anything like that or ask questions about it is very important, he believed them immediately and his first priority was their feelings and that is so important

when steven and connie are laying on the car later and talking about their feelings its really great how like, the two of them show anger in different ways? the two of them are v upset, steven being more outwardly and physically upset in a visual way were connie is def upset and says that shes thinking mad when steven tells her she doesnt look mad 
like thats really important that??? this is showing that theres different kinds of anger and emotions associated with having your consent and boundaries not respected, and that those emotions and anger is totally valid!!!

to me it seemed that when stevonnie was racing kevin and after they heard kevin say that whole thing about having a sick brother and then saying he made it up, they got SO mad and kinda got??? tunnel vision and saw the road breaking behind them and were getting very worked up and panicky and kevin, it really seemed to me like they were having a negative flashback/panic attack, the trigger being kevin. like, when i have flashbacks, sometimes i get tunnel vision like that or things become weird and blurry and i freak out a lot and this scene just really resonated with me? especially how right after, and steven and connie had unfused, the first thing they do is ask each other if theyre okay, which is so good!!!!! 

ok this is very long and im sorry, this ep just really really resonated with me as someone who has ptsd due to trauma stuff, and it really helped and was nice to see stuff like this done so well

things that used to make me upset and keep me upset i can now work through. i can now talk myself out of feeling bad for hours and days by being kind, and gentle and reminding myself of a higher power and a higher purpose. and when i get in a funk, unhappy with whatever situation I’m in, i now know that helping someone, doing a good deed makes me feel so much better. like I’m needed somewhere. bringing someone else happiness puts peace in my heart. and although my prayers seem v quick sometimes, i remember God a lot more and i am thankful for this temporary suqoon and wish it for all of you <3