more like twist and rip my heart out

anonymous asked:

"Vhenan, please," he takes a halting step forward, "I can explain everything, if you listen." His gaze falls to the Mark, shining silver gauntlet hiding his white-knuckled grip on the staff in his hand. "We can help you." -- dirthavhenan (did someone say heartbreak??)

RIP OUT MY MUSE’S HEART IN 1 ASK.

Listen—-? Listen to you!? ” 

It is like a scene from a nightmare, a twisted reality where everything is so wrong and so real all at the same time. Here, in this space between worlds, with his Mark pulsing and more pain than he can ever imagine feeling, he stands before him garbed in silver and white. Vanished, missing, his lover so worried as he surged through waves of Qunari, heart pounding in his ears as the pain got worse, became a blinding light he struggled to fight through… and now he is here. With him.

With Solas.

Liar. Betrayer. Rodhair.

Vhenan.

Don’t you call me that!He is on his knees before the liars he once called friends, one mournful but impassive, the other desperate, and it his only his own pride that keeps him from crawling away. It hurts… more than anything has hurt in his life, and beneath all that the gut-wrenching, sick pain that comes from having claws close around one’s heart and yank, tearing out organ, muscle and sinew. He can see feet, stepping towards him, shining armor seeking to help him. Get away from me! He hisses. Don’t you dare come near me! I will not—- ah—! I need no help from you, you lying, treacherous—-

Another pained gasp, bile rising in his throat, and he pitches forward until his nose almost strikes the stone, gripping his afflicted hand hard as though that may help. For one hideous moment, he feels his vision growing dark, afraid he may pass out or die from the pain, until a soft voice murmurs something, and the pain subsides. It is only when he looks up through eyes blurred with tears that he sees him: Solas. He speaks words that are insane, impossible, and yet his mouth moves to reply without any input from his brain. All of him is focused on the white shadow behind his master, blue eyes wide and pleading—- and he tears his gaze away.

You lied to me… you betrayed me…

I loved you.