morbid me

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’
‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’
‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’
‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’
‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’
‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’
‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’
‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’
‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’
‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’
‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’
‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’
‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’
‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’
‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’
‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’
‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’
‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’
‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’
‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’
‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’
‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’
‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’
‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’
‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’
‘  please don’t go.  ’
‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’
‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’
‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’
‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’
‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’
‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’
‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’
‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’
‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’
‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’
‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’
‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’
‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’
‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’
‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’
‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’
‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’
‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’
‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’
‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’
‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’
‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’
‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’
‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’
‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’
‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’
‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’
‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’
‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’
‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’
‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’
‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’
‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’
‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’
‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’
‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’
‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’
‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’
‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’
‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’
‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’
‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’
‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’
‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’
‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’
‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’
‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’
‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’
‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’
‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’
‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’
‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’
‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’
‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’
‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’
‘  would you even miss me?  ’
‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’
‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’
‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’
‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’
‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’
‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’
‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’
‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’
‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’
‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’
‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’
‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’
‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’
‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’
‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’
‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’
‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’


2

CHARDEE AU: Pushing Daisies

Dee: You can’t touch someone’s life and just be done with it.
Charlie: Yes I can. That’s how I roll. Usually. But you’re the only one for me.
Dee: I know you feel that now, but there are things you want. There’re things we both want.
Charlie: So? Everyone wants stuff, we wake up every day with list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn’t mean we need them to be happy.
Dee: What do you need to be happy?
Charlie: You. Even if you can’t touch me. You know, because of the whole you’ll-die-thing-if-you-do.
Dee: So a kiss is out of the question?
Charlie: I just lost my train of thought.

Cadenti Porrigo Demolotio

Ancient Greek Siren Harry

cadenti porrigo demolotio: I reach out my hand to the man who’s pulling.

Harry’s beauty was whispered through the valleys of Greece, attracting females and males to the island of Mykonos in hopes of hearing the green eyed siren’s song. Myths and legends told of heroes such as Odysseus and Heracles swayed by his beauty, even the goddess Aphrodite smitten by him and his son. He was no god of any sort; instead a nymph, if you will. An Oceanide.

Harry had skin kissed by the Greek sun. He had eyes that matched the wine colored sea he dwelled in and hair the color of whiskey. He knew he was beautiful too; people were willing to die to catch a glimpse of him, how could he not?

His voice was just as beautiful as he was. In the dead of night you could hear the distinct tune of his irresistibly sweet melody against the lapping waves on the sand. Though deemed as suicides, many had traveled to the island only to jump in the water in search of him only to be met with their fate under the sea. It wasn’t until Harry’s own fateful day where he meet his own siren of his dreams. Although she wasn’t a siren like he was.

She was human, and the most god damn beautiful human Harry had ever seen too. She was a sort of understated beauty, one that in a crowded marketplace in the famous city of Athens, Harry would be able to pick her out in a millisecond. She had lips the color of pomegranates and smudges of coal lined around her eyes to make them bigger than already possible. A soft, sweet gentle voice that Harry could hear when she was out that made his heart swell two sizes bigger.

How could he ever love another?


(Y/N) had traveled by boat to her birthplace of Mykonos. Every summer she would return to her childhood home and spend the season aiding her elderly parents around the house and the town. Living in a small cottage just on the coast of the island, her favorite thing to do was to garden and to sing, preferably at the same time. In the late evenings she would tend to the roses and watch the rhythmic percussion of the waves on the sand.

It wasn’t until one night the girl had wondered on the dark beach, wrapping her silk dress tighter around against her body. Her hair blew in tresses around her, momentarily restricting her vision until it was whipped away back behind her.

(Y/N) squinted, eyeing a blurry form in the distance with a look of confusion. Something had washed up; something big. A …shark? A seal? Coming closer, her jaw dropped open; it was a man. A man with a long, slender torso that turned from skin to scales into a long fish tail. He lay unmoving, twitching from time when a particularly strong gust of wind blew.

(Y/N) sunk down to her knees, observing him. She had only ever heard of nymphs in stories but undoubtedly knew from his appearance that he must of been one. His long hair lay strewn around his head in a disheveled mess and bits of sand covered his face all the way down to his torso. Clearly, he had been washed up. But how could such a strong creature, one so close to a human, allow itself to become so vulnerable?

(Y/N) reached out and dusted flecks of sand away from his forehead and eyes, noting that his skin, though a blue tint, was warm and he was in fact still breathing. She noted how long his eyelashes were and how they touched the apples of his cheeks, his lips a shade of a pink hibiscus. She felt herself becoming smitten with the man.

Harry jumped, startling the girl’s hand off of him with a gasp. From his view on the sandy beach, all he could see was the swirl of dark storm clouds above him and a frightened girl looking down on him. His girl.

“I’m sorry for startling you. What’s your name?” He whispered, lifting a hand up onto the girl’s jaw and cupping it sweetly. She followed his hand with hers and gave a slight eyebrow scrunch. He talked with an unusual accent, one that reveled he was not where she was from.

“(Y/N).”

“Lovely.” He coughed. “Can you help me back into the sea? I’m having trouble breathing.”

(Y/N) jumped up but the thought came to her mind; how was she suppose to drag a siren back into the ocean?

Harry held his arms out, encouraging her to take his hands. She did so with hesitation and lifted him off the ground only to find he weighed basically nothing. She felt like she was lifting a child up but he stood towering over her, wrapping his arms around her dainty neck to keep balance. (Y/N) stood shocked.

“Please.” He encouraged her, feeling her body rigid with hesitation.

She complied, using one arm to hoist his body up and carry him bridal style down to the water. She pushed her embarrassment to the side, as this was probably really damn strange looking. She wandered into the ocean waist deep, occasionally losing her footing against the waves that didn’t seem so gentle.

She loosened her hold on the siren, allowing him to slide into the sea. He did so quickly, diving under before coming back up with a refreshing laugh. Harry leaned over and took her hands, encouraging her to follow him deeper in the sea.

(Y/N) shook her head, pulling against his hold. “I can’t swim. I’ll drown.“

Harry had this funny look on his face, an odd smile matched with eyes that visibly shined even in the dead of night. He smoothly pulled her forward, her feet sliding off the sand and automatically kicking her weight above her. (Y/N) gasped, latching her grip onto the siren and wrapping her legs around his waist in a haste.

“I can’t swim!” She cried but a mistake it was, as now the siren floated the two of them deeper into the black ocean. The water was cold, surprising for a Greek summer and it had (Y/N)’s hair standing up on end. Her wet dress was weighing her down even harder onto Harry who had his strong arms wrapped around waist.

“Focus on me.” Harry spoke but it was difficult to hear him over the water spinning in waves around them. He had the same dreamy look on his face, seeming to appear unaware of (Y/N)’s horrified state.

Harry leaned in and kissed her lightly on the mouth, her body going in shock before melting into his as she reciprocated the kiss. Their noses bumped into each other as he worked his lips over hers, as he had never before kissied anybody. She clung to him as a child, momentarily forgetting the fact that she was freely floating in the sea.

The siren’s kiss made her feel warm inside but not warm enough to stop the fact that she was shivering. Harry tangled his hand in her hair, enjoying the sound of their lips against each other but her iron like grip on his shoulders made him pull away.

“I’m scared.” (Y/N) spoke. “Please take me back to shore.”

Harry frowned, not wanting their time to be up just yet.

“Tell me,” Harry sounded, his hand in her hair detaching and resting on the base of her neck. “Do you believe you can breathe underwater?”

“Would I be this scared in the middle of the ocean if I knew I could breathe underwater?”

Harry laughed, flicking his tail to keep them afloat. “What if I told you you could?”

(Y/N) shook her head. “I want to go home, I’m very tired. Please.”

“Okay, I’ll take you home. Hold onto me.”

And so, the siren trod the waters back to shore. (Y/N) let out a sigh of relief when her toes touched the sandy bottom of the floor. Without much of a goodbye or a look back, the girl ran back to dry land and up the path back to her tiny cottage.

Harry watched her, rising with anger. He took her on an adventure that no other had experienced and she repays him by running away? Here he was in love with her, so enamored but there she was trying to get away from him. He slapped the water surface angerly. 

Harry took a breath and started to sing a song of sorrow and heavy heart. Singing always calmed Harry down, making him feel like the calm after the storm. Most of the time, Harry didn’t even know he had started singing because he would fall into a state of semi-consciousness, one that would make him feel one with nature, one with the gods on Mount Olympus and one with Earth.

Unknowingly, Harry’s melody had drifted into the wind and on to (Y/N)’s ears. She stopped her hurried walk and fell in love with the siren all over again. It only took her a millisecond to decide her fate and she was running back, holding her dress up from her legs and sprinting back down to the beach she had just been running from minutes before. It felt like an invisible string was pulling her, yanking her back in the water and to the siren’s arms. She didn’t care anymore though.

Harry saw her running, letting the last note of his song curl slowly from his lips. She stumbled through the water, doing her best attempt of trying to swim towards him before meeting being enclosed in his embrace and planting her lips onto his.

“Take me away.” She breathed heavily. “I never want to be without you, please, take me away.”

It didn’t take Harry any more convincing than that to turn around swim deeper into the sea. Though awkward, (Y/N) clung to the side of him, completely hypnotized by the voice of a siren she didn’t even know the name of.

When the island of Mykonos was only a dot in the horizon, Harry turned to (Y/N) and with a dazzling smile, breathed, “Are you ready?”

(Y/N) nodded, struggling to keep herself a float. “I’m yours, I’ll go wherever you go.”

With that, Harry took her hand and dived down. Immediately the water burned (Y/N)’s lungs, paradoxically making them feel like a growing flame. She coughed and sputtered violently but continued to follow the siren blindly deeper into the darkness. Her eyes refused to adjust, only seeing a blur of Harry’s tail and red and black blotches. Her head pounded, every cell in her body screaming for oxygen but she didn’t care to fight. (Y/N)’s love for the man dragging her deeper only heightened with each second and soon, she began to fall.

It hurt so bad that… it didn’t anymore. Her body didn’t struggle and became in tune with the wishes of her heart. She was peacefully numb. Nothing except her love mattered.

All movement stopped and before she knew it she was just floating in the empty ocean. Harry’s hand had disconnected from hers and suddenly, she had never felt more lonelier. (Y/N)’s last memory before she died was the siren’s lips on hers, kissing the last bits of her life away. He held the water in her chest with his kiss and watched her diminish.

Everything Has A Price // The Preacher’s Daughter Part Five [A Mitch Rapp Smut]

Author: @minhosmeanhoe

Series: Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

Relationship: Mitch Rapp x Reader / Mitch Rapp x OFC

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Fingering, Pool Sex, Daddy Kink, Unprotected Sex, Violence, Fist Fighting, Talks about Death and Bodies, and Swearing.

Word Count: 8,533

Song: Crazy In Love by The Eden Project Ft. Leah Kelly

“I betrayed her, Mitch.” I cried hysterically as he drove like a madman to Lee’s house. “I told her I was gonna be there with her. If something happened to Nia, it’s all my fault.”

“Nothing happened to her.” Mitch replied, looking over at me with determination in his eyes. “She’s alive. I’m sure of it.”

“I-I’m gonna have to live with the weight of this for the rest of my life, aren’t I?” I sobbed.

“No, you’re not because she is okay.” My boyfriend argued.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because this is Nia we’re talking about. She’s strong and intimidating as hell. No bomb is gonna bring that girl down.”

My doe eyes looked up at Mitch in complete awe. Here was this guy who just happened to stumble into my life and ended up becoming one of the most important people to me.

I gave him a smile and a nod just as we entered Lee’s street, the loud sounds and flashing lights of cop cars and ambulances stealing my attention. The whole road was full of police officers and paramedics hard at work, pulling bodies and a few survivors out of the completely destroyed house. Black smoke filled the air and you could practically taste the burning wood on your tongue. Firefighters held up hoses in front of the house as they put out its fire. The whole street was an open invitation to pure chaos. 

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