moon moon is ruining my life

Signs and their thoughts on the Devil

Aries: We are on friendly terms 

Taurus: If he aint providing me with rent and a stable home life, I don’t care about him

Gemini: Donald Trump is a Gemini

Cancer: I’m a Christian 

Leo: I mean as long as he doesn’t take my spotlight then he sounds like a good guy 

Virgo: Do you know how many serial killers are virgos? 

Libra: I still wont answer his messages 

Scorpio: Is he single? 

Sagittarius: I dont give a fuck about him as long as he minds his business and doesn’t try to ruin my life 

Capricorn: I mean, some people think I am one 

Aquarius: I fucked him once out in the wilderness 

Pisces: OMG I love him :D 

voltron paladins fannon vs cannon

fannon lance: SHAKIRA IS MY QUEEN and i can’t go five minutes without speaking in spanish or talking about skin care

canon lance: *is smart and great with on the spot strategy* *saved slav with his incredible sniping skills* “You ever notice how far the planets are from each other, Coran?”

fannon keith: MAN i’m just SO GAY and EMO have you heard the news MOTHMAN is my HUSBAND and the moon landing was faKED

canon keith: “I AM YOUR PALADIN!” *literally runs headfirst into everything and hardly thinks before he acts* i don’t think this kid could get any more awkward

fannon pidge: i’m a horrible gremlin who can ruin your entire life with nothing but my cellphone and outdated memes

cannon pidge: *bulit a set of equipment capable of picking up frequencies as far as a moon of pluto* she is willing to do whatever it takes to find her family and she is really going through so much pain right now

fannon shiro: man i’m just so soft i could never genuinely get mad at my team they are so important to me they are my space kids and i am their space daddy

cannon shiro: *flips out on slav like six times* *continuously makes jokes while he thinks he’s going to die* “Blam, blam, blam!”

fannon hunk: i just ;; love food so much;;; it’s like beautiful art made for your taste buds and it is the only thing i ever think about

cannon hunk: this boy would not rest until he saved shay and her people and he fucking gordon ramsay’d his way out of restaurant slavery

i can’t with certain wrestling fans sometimes

i just wanted to check the news about why roman was being replaced and i see a bunch of people going “can i write a thank you note to meningitis cause now i can see tlc” and “all it took was reigns being off the card for me to watch tlc”

my dudes, if one person is stopping you from watching something then that one person means a lot whole more to you than you’re letting on

ps: we all know u were gonna watch anyway

Scarlet Heart(break) Ryeo and happy endings

My friend started watching Scarlet Heart Ryeo two days ago by my recommendation and now she’s crazy about it. She’s currently at episode 13. She watched the first episode with me and before it ended she was already pinching and hitting me because of the FEELS.

SHE CRIED OVER EPISODE 11 ON THE TRAIN TODAY. Friend is now watching SHR while we walk to our next class.

She says she wants a happy ending with So and Soo.

I jUST GOT A FLASHBACK OF THAT SCENE IN MOON LOVERS WHERE WANG SO IS EXPLAINING HOW THE PALACE WORKS AND HAE SOO IS JUST LIKE OH ITS FINE I HAVE YOU YOUR HIGHNESS SO I’LL NEVER BE LONELY AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE hE WAS SO S H O O K ?? hOW DO I SLEEP AFTER THIS I FEEL SO ATTACKED

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i’ve been sick my whole life. and i’ve felt ashamed of that. i tried to hide it. i think that’s what the mask really was. another way to hide. but i don’t want to hide anymore. i don’t want to be ashamed anymore. i just want to be me. 

i know i will never be cured. this is always going to be who i am. but i can still live. i can still have a life. and i won’t let you ruin that for me.

( moon knight / marc spector. )

Like I screamed at that cinema worker (and later the judge at my trial for disturbing the peace): Despicable Me is blatantly false advertising. It teaches you no real-life ways of stealing the Moon, which totally ruined my business plan. And you might be asking: Why would I watch Despicable Me for Moon-nabbing strategies? Also: Why would I want the Moon in the first place? In order: 1) The movie’s Polish title is How To Steal The Moon so I’m clearly in the right on this one. 2) Two words: Lunar Porn, motherfuckers. Not only would I corner the market, the movie titles basically write themselves: Houston, We Have A Boner, Apollo 11 Inches, One Giant Lick For Mankind, etc.

But even though the entire movie revolves around Gru, a supervillain voiced by Steve Carell, trying to steal the Moon, it doesn’t really go into the specifics of such an operation. All it says is: Steal a shrink ray (from where?!), fly to the Moon (how?!) 

Worst of all, the whole thing irresponsibly glosses over the dangers of having the shrunken Moon in Earth’s atmosphere, and it suddenly going back to its original size, exactly like in the movie finale. But where Despicable Me has failed, science stepped in to address that question, and the answer they came up with is: “Oh God, oh Jesus Almighty, they’re all dead! My whole family … so many bodies!”

5 Mass Deaths You Never Noticed Happened In Cartoons

The Fox and the Saint: An Atypical Fairy Tale

For gizkasparadise, moon of my life, on her upcoming birthday (that she wasn’t really sure when was happening).

Title: The Fox and the Saint

Fandom: Grisha Trilogy

Pairing: Nikolai/Alina

Summary: “What use is a queen who can’t summon?” Alina asks Nikolai the third time he asks her to marry him.

50 sentences exploring their relationship. Canon divergent. R&R spoilers.

1. Serenade

Nikolai promises to sing outside of her window every night until she relents; Alina realizes the relenting is because he can’t carry a tune to save his life.

2. Dreams and Nightmares

They suffer alone, night after night, until they end up sharing the same bed; it doesn’t stop the nightmares, but at least they know there is someone to hold them when they’re awake now.

3. Time

“In time,” he murmurs, holding her hand tightly in his gloved one, “you’ll want me as fiercely as you wanted them.”

4. You, Me, and the Car Crash

It’s years before Alina can look at the remains of a skiff in what was once a barren wasteland, but she finds that her heart doesn’t ache as much as it used to.

5. Restlessness

She’s draped in more fabric than she even knows what to do with, hating every bit of the wedding dress and the way it inhibits her from pacing; she suspects that it’s Nikolai’s way of keeping her from running.

6. Things You Need To Know

“What use is a queen who can’t summon?” Alina asks Nikolai the third time he asks her to marry him.

7. Golden

Sunlight reflects off Nikolai like he was born to stand in its golden rays, and it’s perhaps the first time since she’s lost her summoning that she realizes she’s had a piece of light this entire time.

Keep reading

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150 GUYS WHO HAVE RUINED MY LIFE (IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER) -> Prince (114/150)