Do you ever get in those moods where you don’t know how you feel and everything kinda feels mixed up and you’re just sitting there alone in your room trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with yourself
Although we would all like to trust our feelings, they are not a good guide for the ways things really are. They are often fickle and irrational – and not an accurate measure of reality. As you’ve probably discovered:
1. Feelings vary depending on our health. If we’re sick we often feel despondent and blah.
2. Feelings vary depending on our hormones – which is why doctors recognize and treat PMS.
3. Feelings vary depending on events and the changing circumstances of our life. If things are going wrong, or we’re highly stressed, we feel inadequate and overwhelmed.
4. Feelings are affected by relationships. If we fall in love we feel happy and elated; if a relationship breaks up we feel rejected and depressed.
5. Feelings vary depending on the weather. If it’s sunny we feel happy and optimistic; if it’s cloudy and grey, we feel morose and negative.
6. Feelings can depend on the way we’re being treated. If someone in a store is rude to us, we may react with anger, or even feel ashamed.
7. Feelings are affected by our actions at the time. If we do something kind we feel good about ourselves; and if we’ve hurt someone’s feelings we may feel some regret.
So don’t react and respond based on feelings alone. Always use your mind as well – and check your thoughts are accurate.
1. Be honest with yourself, and accept how you feel. You can’t work with your feelings if you deny that they are real.
2. At the same time, don’t keep going over the negative events, or they’ll start to dominate you, or spiral, and get worse.
3. Don’t react right away – take a breath and count to 10. Make sure you keep control and don’t do something you’ll regret.
4. Try to notice what are triggers and provoke negative feelings – and when you’re calm, try to think through how to cope and deal with these.
5. Think of things that you can do to try and help improve your mood … such as going for a jog, or talking with a caring friend.
6. Remind yourself that you are valuable, and have a lot to offer … and think of all your strengths, and all the good things you have done.
7. Choose just to let go of the past, and try to focus on the present. Don’t let it stop you living, and having a great life.