MK characters making New Year’s Resolutions ...
Scorpion: I resolve to maintain a stable and peaceful relationship with Sub-Zero
until the next game trailer.
Sub-Zero: I solemnly swear that I will not lose my temper whenever Johnny Cage makes ice-related puns.
Johnny Cage: Resolution #1: Quit making ice jokes about Sub-Zero. (Pause) Never mind, I’m too perfect to make resolutions.
Raiden: I promise not to make any
more mistakes this time.
Liu Kang: I resolve to not blame Raiden for constantly screwing up all the time.
Mileena: Stop biting people
for a month week three days until midnight until after the New Year’s Eve party.
Cassie Cage: I will not punch people in the nuts
(terms and conditions apply).
Kenshi: I promise to spend more time with Takeda.
Takeda: Elder Gods, please give me the strength to not lose it when Dad randomly turns up and asks to hang out with me whenever I’m alone with Jacqui.
Ermac: If Quan Chi asks us to take a walk with him to the woods, we will say no.
Tremor: I will give up watching Johnny Cage movies for the time being. *Sobs whilst holding an autographed picture of Johnny Cage* I’m sorry, Johnny, it won’t be long …
Kung Jin: I resolve to not act like a total jerk to everyone … unless they’re clearly asking for it.
Erron Black: I will do anything if it means not being called a stripper, a raccoon or Daddy, and being shipped with half the MK roster, and -