moo problems

MK characters making New Year’s Resolutions ...

Scorpion: I resolve to maintain a stable and peaceful relationship with Sub-Zero until the next game trailer.

Sub-Zero: I solemnly swear that I will not lose my temper whenever Johnny Cage makes ice-related puns.

Johnny Cage: Resolution #1: Quit making ice jokes about Sub-Zero. (Pause) Never mind, I’m too perfect to make resolutions.

Raiden: I promise not to make any more mistakes this time.

Liu Kang: I resolve to not blame Raiden for constantly screwing up all the time.

Mileena: Stop biting people for a month week three days until midnight until after the New Year’s Eve party.

Cassie Cage: I will not punch people in the nuts (terms and conditions apply).

Kenshi: I promise to spend more time with Takeda.

Takeda: Elder Gods, please give me the strength to not lose it when Dad randomly turns up and asks to hang out with me whenever I’m alone with Jacqui.

Ermac: If Quan Chi asks us to take a walk with him to the woods, we will say no.

Tremor: I will give up watching Johnny Cage movies for the time being. *Sobs whilst holding an autographed picture of Johnny Cage* I’m sorry, Johnny, it won’t be long …

Kung Jin: I resolve to not act like a total jerk to everyone … unless they’re clearly asking for it.

Erron Black: I will do anything if it means not being called a stripper, a raccoon or Daddy, and being shipped with half the MK roster, and -