moo i am a cow


I don’t feel this cow is as enamored with Zion as I am.

OOC: little scenario gift

This is for @aeteru who has an awesome scenario blog (CHECK IT OUT), so I wanted to write a little scenario in return to thank Teru-san for all the hard work and dedication put into their writings!

It was a rainy afternoon slowly turning in an even Rainier and rather cold evening. You and Murasakibara were supposed to study – better to say, you were supposed to convince him to study, but failed miserably, as Murasakibara was now staring at you from the other side of the kotatsu, slowly munching on his chips. It was like a song playing over and over, and you had learned its measures to the point of driving you mad. A rustle of the bag , the groan of his mouth opening, the snap of the chip being bitten, the crunch of his teeth masticating. Repetitive and monotonous as it could be.

Rustle, groan, snap, crunch. Rustle, groan, snap, crunch. Over and over again.

You raised your head with a sigh and stared at him with a peeved frown. Murasakibara barely perked a brow as he kept ritually eating chips, returning your annoyance with a blank look. “What is it, Chibi-chin?”.

You took a moment to reply, tapping your pen on the notebook as you studied his face, still not letting go of your grouchy pout. After a long moment, much to Murasakibara’s confusion, that pout melted in a suave smile.

“You know,” you said, taking a strategic pause to earn his interest, “I think I figured out what you remind me of”. 

A frown wrinkled Murasakibara’s forehead, usually smooth like a sheet due to his lazy expression. There, you knew you got his attention. “What do I remind you of?” he asked, before putting another chip in his mouth, a note betraying the suspect in his voice.

You would have kept him hanging for longer if it hadn’t been for your smile immediately turning into a grin. “A cow”.

The frown on Murasakibara’s forehead deepened, while his eyes widened in a sudden bewilderment. His hand stopped in midair, still holding a chip, and you knew he didn’t like the sound of it way before hearing his whiny protest. “A cow?!” he bristled.

“A cow,” you confirmed, savouring his annoyance. Your grin widened. “Wanna know why?”

He pouted for a moment, clearly considering whether to act all stand-offish like the big child he could be, or to give in to his curiosity. You gave him his time to think, giggling at his wavering and stealing a chip from his bag as you waited. He pulled the bag away right after, sulking even further.

“Why is that?” he finally asked, his voice slightly high-pitched from the chagrin.

“Well,” you began, brushing your fingers against each other to get rid of the crumbles, “There are various reasons, really. First one is the look on your face. A blank. Deep. Stare” you scanned, underlining each word with a further mimic of his usual bored pout. 

That same pout appeared on Murasakibara’s lips a second after. “I don’t look like that,” he grumbled.

“Sure you do”. You wiped away his protests with a gesture of your hand. “The second reason, is because you’re always munching…” you went on.

Murasakibara’s comment at this one was a loud snort; he turned away his head, but his cheeks were vaguely pink already. You giggled once more. “Wait wait! The last one is the best!”

“I don’t want to hear it” Murasakibara muttered, ragefully stuffing his mouth with a handful of chips.

“I think you do.” You shifted closer to him, stretching your legs under the warm blanket and resting them on his, which occupied the whole space under the table. “The last reason is that cows are highly underestimated animals.”

“How so?” Murasakibara asked, cheeks full with chips, still refusing to turn toward you. 

You laughed and tried to steal him another chip, but he snatched the bag away just in time, pouring the rest in his mouth. He turned toward you with a challenging frown, crumbs all over his mouth. 

“How so?” he repeated, vexed.

You looked at him and smirked, accepting the challenge. “Well, they are quite dangerous animals, you see. Way more than sharks.” You nodded severely. “You wouldn’t want them to charge you, really”.

For a moment you’d have thought he’d be flattered with the comparison, but a shadow passed on his purple eyes, and Murasakibara turned away once more. He seemed to crouch a bit, his shoulders tensed and head low, as if he tried to make himself smaller somehow.

Why was that? It was just a joke, you thought. He couldn’t have possibly thought that…

Damn. You had been so stupid.

“But also,” you added, and your voice softened a bit as you reached to touch his arm, “They can be quite affectionate, you know? … And sweet,” you added shyly.

Murasakibara didn’t move, locks of purple hair covering his face. You sighed and stood up, a brief shiver running down your shins as the warm blanked slipped away from them. You brought yourself behind Murasakibara and wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your nose in his hair.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “Are you alright, Mukkun?”

A heavy moment of silence fell. 

Moo-kun” he murmured.

You tilted your head, trying to see his face. “What did you say?”

“Moo-kun,” he dawdled, “If I am a cow, that’s how it should sound.”

You let out a relieved laugh and knelt on the ground as he turned to face you, his cheeks now of a clear shade of red. He looked down at you and frowned a bit.

“Cows are stupid, though,” he grunted, “I am not stupid.”

“Oh, really?” you chuckled, brushing some hair away from his face.


“Well, why not proving it, then?” You patted the notebook in front of him. “Back to work, smartypants.”

Murasakibara stared at the notebook and a long, pained groan rose from his throat. He rolled his eyes but, much to your surprise, grabbed the pen and looked down at his notes, resting his chin on one hand.

“If I’m a cow, then Chibi-chin is a crow” he uttered.

“A crow?” you asked, giving him an incredulous look. “Why?”

“They make weird noises,” he said, munching on his pen, “And you say weird things.”

“That’s just mean!” you snorted. But then again, you had maybe deserved it.


No mom, there are not cows in my bedroom

I am not trying to build an army of cows to overtake the universe you cumslut

Why the assnoggin would you even say that

The children's tea set you catch him using with the other boys (request)

Thanks, Katie!






So Derek Hale was 19 in the first episode of Teen Wolf. Because they said so outside of the show. 

A full year has yet to pass. And his birthday is marked as Christmas? 

So he’s still 19. 

Stiles has been mentioned as being 17 in this season. 

Derek is 19. Stiles is 17. 

In California, I live here so I know this shit, there’s this interesting thing about age of consent which gives a three year extension to the rule. Meaning, legally if you’re 16 you can date someone up to the age of 19, 17 to 20. 

(Which yes. That means an 18 year old could date both a 15 year old and a 21 year old, which is odd as fuck but that’s besides the point.)

So all that whining about Derek being sooo much older than Stiles is a moo point. (It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.)