monstrous regiment

“Good evening, gentlemen! Please pay attention. I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of suppressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violence does not come easily to me. It’s not tearing your throats out that doesn’t come easily to me. Please don’t make it any harder.” -Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment 


Carry On Countdown Day 19: Crossover.

I couldn’t decide if I wanted a Carry On crossover with the ladies of Monstrous Regiment or the old nerds of Good Omens. Either way something written by Terry Pratchett.


If you can ever read only one book as a sci-fi/fantasy nerd, read ‘Monstrous Regiment’ by Prattchett. If you ever feel that no author can ever present a truthful, real female, read ‘Monstrous Regiment’ by Prattchett. He wrote women as women, for women and most importantly- he wrote them for girls.

I grew up with Prattchett’s women. They taught me to know myself, to know how strong I am, to do things 'as a girl’. They showed me women of every age- eleven year olds and old witches., funny little fat witches and scary, werewolf sergeants who happen to be female. His dwarven ladies in the Discworld show us what feminism really is– in a male-normative society they dare crush thousands of years’ worth of dogma with theit steel stilletto and change society, one skirt at a time. He showed me AdoraBelle Dearheart- a chain-smoking, sarcastic young woman that falls in love with the protagonist yet never loses her objective from her eyesight. He showed me Agnes Nitt- the extremely large young witch who is thoughful and is not a waiflike, adorable heroine: she is strong and large, has a gorgeous voice, is pragmatic and gets to the bottom of things.

I wish I could tell you something about Granny Weatherwax, but I cant. The woman is an experience.

Read Prattchett, everyone. Especially young women and girls- read Pratchett. I dont know why there are not a million posts here about him and his women. He wrote women so well. Old, fat, wise and silly, queens and maids and witches and just… women. Asexual and aromantic and lesbian and transwomen (arguably..). Tiffany Aching is also one of the best things to present your daughter with.
All that aside, the man had an amazing dry, sarcastic wit and sometimes a certain grand verbosity.

I couldnt NOT write this. I just finished reading 'Monstrous Regiment’ for-what? The fifth time?- and Im teary and laughing and argh. I wish I could tell him what an influence he’s been on my life. 'Problems start when you begin treating people as objects’ , 'Sometimes you can only choose between two evils’.

If you ever learn something from me, read Pratchett. He wrote people as people. I love his works.