monster tales

Lauren isn’t expecting much from her twenty second birthday. All the important milestones had already passed, all of them leaving her empty handed. No Hogwarts letter had arrived on her eleventh birthday, no mermaid tail had appeared on her thirteenth. The enormously prophetic sixteenth year – the year famously known for having destinies foretold, for being kidnapped by gods, for falling into a ridiculous love triangle – had come and gone with nothing of note. The most magical part of her twenty first birthday had been that’d she’d manage to consume that amount of alcohol without dying

No grand epics begin on the day of someone’s twenty second birthday.

This is because of those unlucky enough to be chosen at this tender age – most don’t ever make it back.

Dead men tell no tales, after all.

~

(Dead women do. The bones and bubbling corpses of hundreds of daring, unfortunate women are screaming warnings and fury at the next girl to join their ranks of the lost and forgotten.

But no one listens to a woman’s screaming.

No one will listen to your screaming either.

Sorry, dear. )

~

She wakes up and goes to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

This is a hasty decision, of course, although she does not know it at the time.

This may be her last morning. If she’d known, maybe she would have savored it. Snuggled into her warm sheets, pressed her face into the softness of her pillow, pulled the comforter about her bare shoulders, the most instinctual and simple of comforts.

But then again. Maybe not.

There is also an instinctual, twisted pleasure in ripping off the bandaid.

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9

Only a week until October 31st! Cartoons to watch this Halloween (or whenever):

  • Tales from the Crypt Keeper
  • Beetlejuice the Animated series
  • Courage the Cowardly Dog
  • Aaahh!!! Real Monsters (one of the characters is voiced by Tim Curry)
  • Scooby Doo
  • The Addams Family cartoon
  • The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
  • Invader Zim
  • Growing Up Creepie

What will you be watching this Halloween?

Allergic Interaction

Inspired by @edorazzi‘s BEAUTIFUL little OCs Amun and Carter and all of their antics, Miraculous’ titular character Chat Noir AKA Adrien and his affliction with feathers, and my recent jackpot of allergies. Enjoy!

Also found on AO3.


           Amun would say his luck with the accursed food was dismal at best.

           Hazelnuts, as he learned since his revival, were not, in fact, cursed but some sort of chemical thing, as Angelo put it, caused him to have a reaction in his immune system. Since his internal organs had recently been re-growing, that meant that former hives evolved into far worse reactions when exposed to the fatal nut.

           His luck was dismal because, even after learning of this and learning enough English reading to avoid it, they were in France, and, therefore, French was written everywhere. Amun hadn’t even thought to ask someone to read it to him - he knew the language of French but not how to read it - when he’d eaten that chocolate bar offered to him by one of the clerks at the museum.

           If not for Angelo’s quick grab for the Epinephrine pen upon seeing Amun go red and begin to wobble from dizziness, this might have been his second death.

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Plots of winter anime 2017:

KonoSuba 2:

Originally posted by nervousnutsandwich

Second season of sarcastic human trash-bag getting stuck in RPG-world while baby-sitting narcissistic, exhibitionistic (self-proclaimed?) water-goddess who attracts trouble in all kinds of forms, an eccentric pyromaniac with a one word catch-phrase and a noblewoman turned masochistic crusader.


Gintama.:

Originally posted by toushi

4th or possibly 8th season of silverhaired, dead-eyed samurai with sugar addiction who starts an odd-jobs and hires a pair of glasses and a Chinese red-head from outer space…


ACCA-13:

Originally posted by mangastream

Bread-loving and chain-smoking blonde is somehow involved in a political plot while also being stalked by his photographer best friend who loves chocolate and is most probably in love with him.


Dragon Maid:

Originally posted by mangastream

Laid back chick makes drunken promise and is visited by magical dragon/cute maid. They become soul-mates and adopt fluffy dragon who’s also an adorable, bug-eating little girl who tried to f*** her classmate once… There’s also this other dragon/demon with heterochromiadic eyes and gag boobs who sexually harasses a 9 year old boy… and another dragon/demon/butler turned otaku who moves in with a human otaku and they live happily ever after. The end.


All out!!!:

Originally posted by cutefujoshiyaoi

Tiny dude gets roped into playing rugby with a bunch of 35-year old-looking actually 16-18 year olds while befriending a huge, blond meek kid.


Youjo Senki:

Originally posted by gurikajis

Modern day asshole gets pushed in front of train by dude who hates him, has an argument with a religious entity, and is reborn as a magical girl in not-Europe during not-WW2.


Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu 2:

Originally posted by yuseols

Second season of story stand-up-comedy - while sitting and not always making you laugh!


Blue Exorcist Kyoto Saga:

Originally posted by vongrell

Not really second season but more of a retelling of the last half of the first season but it’s still 15-year old child of satan trying to kill satan with the help of his megane younger twin brother who’s also his teacher/baby-sitter, their mutual love-interest who’s an air-head and loves flowers, those three guys from Kyoto and fox tamer/tiny eyebrows tsundere-girl.


Interview with Monster Girls:

Originally posted by melanchoribbon

Bulky dude who’s apparently a biology teacher conducts interviews with super-natural beings, who exists but are really rare, but still no one seems to give them a second glance.


Sengoku Choujuu Giga:

Originally posted by batokusanagi

Historical Japanese figures portrayed as various animals in stories based on most probably not historical facts.


Tales of Zesitira the x 2:

Originally posted by fabelyn

Second season of visually interesting but otherwise boring anime about dude and his life partner going out to fight the evil of the world which is conveniently manifested in the form of dragons, dementors and bronze-colored smoke. They’re helped by a sassy kid with an umbrella, exposition fire-lady, pacifistic princess in tiny shorts and red head with more personality than everyone combined.


3-gatsu no lion:

Originally posted by jyoshikausei

17-year-old professional shogi player and his wacky adventures feat. emotionally supportive infant, shogi-players, the best teacher ever and a mean evil stepsister.


Gundam IBO 2:

Originally posted by jokers52re

Second season of characters dying and ships sinking.


Little witch academia:

Originally posted by velo

Trouble-making muggle girl with no chill and a celebrity crush enrolls in school for witches where she befriends a Twilight-fan and mushroom addict.