This series ended up being a lot more popular than I thought, so here’s the third installment! Enjoy!
“I’m running amuck, what does it look like?”
“This isn’t weird. I’m just talking. To myself. Alone. In the dark.”
“There’s a free-range lumberjack somewhere out here.” “BUT I WAS ONCE THE MOST MYSTICAL MAN IN ALL RUSSIA!” “Thaaaaat’s an old man penis.” “Get shit on, you hell-beast!” “[name], you literal piece of flaming dog feces.” “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO! I’M A MONSTER!” “I told you to tell me a story but you didn’t have to tell me THAT much.” “Don’t mind me, I’m just doing the Monster Mash.” “I will punch you in the head with my legs.” “See this pipe? It’s going up your ass in two seconds.”
“Look at this miscellaneous hodgepodge!”
“What’s going on in here? Having a party without me? Well fuck you.”
“You’re doing some kind of horrible ritual, I see. Welp. That’s nice.”
“I have a severed head. Does that do anything for ya?” “Welp, time to bend over and accept my fate.” “I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!” “Finally I get a chance to just wreck every fucking thing I see.” “I know the twist now. I AM the monster.” “I’m just gonna slow-mo walk out of here like a badass, don’t mind me.” “I think I see something in the dista–OH GOD!” “This place has really gone to the donkeys. I’d say ‘dogs’ but dogs are cute.” “How do you do, you insufferable wanker?” “[name] can shove it up their ugly ass.” “You look like Jeff the Killer and I hate you.” “Get dunked on, nerd.” “THE HELLEVATOR IS GOING DOOOOWN!” “Nothing bad ever happens in a portable toilet.” “GET OFF MY LAWN!” “I saw your face and thought it was something I cared about.” “Oh God, I’m a wreck.” “I thought we were friends! And you betrayed me!” “I’m sure there was something important to do, but honestly I was too busy singing a song about butts.”
That one time when I joked that Frankenstein’s monster didn’t kill himself and went on to become the Phantom of the Opera…ha ha…I am officially monster mash TRASH.
Seriously though, Erik and Frankenstein’s Monster would get along so well–with the shared parental trauma, self-esteem issues, and complex relationships with women whose names end in “-tine”. Oh, and that whole strangulation thing. Monster is waaay bigger though.
Coincidence? I think NOT! Its a conspiracy, I tell ya! Them gothic authors are all in cahoots!
With October finally here we’ve decided to do an extra special collection of monster inspired scents!
Zombie: They come in many forms, but for this scent we were inspired by
the traditional shamblers. Crushed oak leaves and ripe cucumber come
together to create an earthy, woody, damp fragrance that smells like
forest decay but in a cleaner, more human friendly way.
Siren:Salty marine notes and fresh ocean rain combined with sweet florals that
makes for an alluring yet slightly haunting fragrance. Oceanic, salty, a
hint of sweet perfume; it’s what I imagine a siren’s hair would smell
like right before she pulls you underwater.
Like a demon smooth talking you into giving up your soul, this fragrance
starts out sweet and creamy with notes of buttery caramel and
vanilla… but much like the demon, its heart is full of fire; chipotle,
cinnamon, and clove add spice and heat to the demon’s honeyed words.
Cold rain, ozone, and a dash of herbaceous green leaf with a base of
sandalwood and tonka. This scent is the embodiment of a dreary, rainy
day and the white wisps of fog. A perfectly delicate and ghostly
fragrance that gives no hint of the terror that will soon be unleashed.
Ripe fig is combined with a heart of nag champa and hints of patchouli
to form a fragrance befitting of a sophisticated vampire. Earthy and a
bit sweet at first but with a background of darkness, smoke, and ashes.
This is a deep, sensual mix of musk flower, jasmine, sandalwood,
patchouli, and fern that is masculine, earthy, and feral. I imagine this
is what a werewolf would smell like after changing back into human
Witch: A lighter take on a forest scent. Pine, sage,
juniper, and lavandin come together to make a unique earthy and bright
fragrance that makes me think of magic.
This collection will only be available through the month of October! Candles not your thing? Grab a Monster Mash Pack containing one of each of the 7 monster scents here or grab your favorite as a roll-on perfume here!
It’s worth mentioning that because of the limited nature of these scents, the tarts are only available in the Monster Mash pack. If you have your heart set on only one of them, grab a candle or roll-on instead! (But these are all really fantastic scents so we’re sure you wouldn’t be disappointed with getting them all!)
You held your breath as you slip right through the front door and closed it as quietly as you can, turning the lock and latch. With your back against the door, you look through the darkness, making out the shadows of objects near the front door and stairs. You don’t sigh just yet as you tip toe up the stairs.
Just because your parents were out of the house for the weekend didn’t mean your older brother was going to take his hawk eyes off you.
Right as you reach for the knob to your bedroom door, you let out a terrible sound as the hallway light turns on. You whip around to find your older brother at the end of the hallway, arms crossed. He gives you a stern look.