monopoly is a shit game

anonymous asked:

Glados and Chell playing virtual golf and it gets super competitive

GLaDOS is the type of person to get ridiculously competitive over stupid shit. like she loses a game of monopoly and doesn’t talk to chell for a week bc of it

anonymous asked:

a friendly board games night turns into a cutthroat competition of whose the best at monopoly with dan cause he's such a competitive shit

Game nights between you, Dan, and Phil were always fun, the focus being on just having a good time rather than winning whatever game you were playing.

This week, however, the game chosen was Monopoly and somehow a silent agreement was made that this game was the most serious you’d played.

At first, it was fun, with all three of you mainly joking around and having a good time. But, as the game slowly progressed, you all became more and more competitive with one another, especially Dan.

“What the fuck?” he said exasperated as you landed on a space you owned again on your turn.


“You keep landing on your own spaces, it’s ridiculous,” he answered as he motions to all the money himself and Phil had paid in landing on each other’s and your spaces as well, while you hadn’t landed on either of theirs all night.

“I guess I’m just lucky,” you claimed, smirking at him as he rolled his eyes.

“Guys this is getting boring, it’s been like an hour,” Phil complained as he pushed his chair back, “I’m gonna go to bed.”

“That’s fine, I’ll just kick [Y/N]’s ass without you here to witness.”

“Shut up Howell,” you retorted to your boyfriend, watching as he stuck his tongue out at you like a child.

“Make me [Y/L/N].”

“I’m outta here, don’t kill each other,” Phil stood up from the table and made his way down the hall to his bedroom while you and Dan began playing the game again without him, evenly dividing up the things he owned.

Over an hour and many sarcastic remarks later, you were jumping up in victory, Dan clearly annoyed on the other side of the table.

“Whatever,” he grumbled, beginning to put away everything he had angrily.

“Awh babe, are you upset that you’re a lose-”

“I will actually kick your ass [Y/N].”

“You said that earlier and you didn’t, why should I listen to you now?” you taunted, putting away your pieces much less angrily than Dan had.

“You probably cheated somehow, I wouldn’t even be surprised if-”

“Stop being such a sore loser, just admit that I’m better than you,” you interrupted his rant as his cheeks started to turn red.

“Whatever,” he repeated annoyed, putting the lid on the box for the game.

“Are you actually upset with me over a game of Monopoly?” you asked him as you made your way across the table, wrapping your arms around an unreacting Dan.

He looked down at you, sighing loudly as he pulled you in for a hug, “No.. Just know that next time I’m gonna beat you so badly that you’re crying.”

“Are you trash talking me Howell?” you asked, pulling back and raising an eyebrow at him.

“You bet I am.”

You squinted at him as he put his hands up in surrender, acting as though he’d done nothing wrong.

You roll your eyes at him for the millionth time that night, “I’m going to bed Mr. ‘I’m gonna beat you’ are you coming?”

“What kind of a question is that? Of course I’m coming,” he answered, following you into his bedroom to go to sleep.

As you’re laying in bed and have forgotten about the board game thing Dan speaks up one more time, “I wasn’t kidding about beating you and prepare yourself for the rematch because you won’t even see me coming.”

“Shut up Dan,” you reply, hitting him lightly on the chest before closing your eyes, feeling him laugh beside you as you begin to drift off to sleep.

Monopoly With the Derps
  • Chilled: God...god if you're there give me a Four.
  • GaLm: Give him a Five God.
  • Smarty: *lowly* five, five , five
  • Dice: 4 & 1
  • GaLm Smarty and Ze: *Laughing at Chilled's pain*
  • Chilled: *Does not look pleased*
  • Game: Don't give up. Persistence is the key to success
  • GaLm and Smarty: *Still Laughing*

i just wanna be domestic with michael clifford. cheesy shit like cooking dinner together, watching movies together, going food shopping together, going to the beach together, meeting up with his or my family on weekends, hanging out with each other’s friends, beating each other up over video games and monopoly. holy shit i’m so sad, someone get me michael asap

imagine a yogs board game night

Honeydew using his years of mining expertise and his steady hand to completely dominate in Operation

Lomadia, Nano, and Nilesy with all their detective skills in Clue

Rythian absolutely owning in Life [everyone finds this hilarious]

No one even tries beating Sjin in Jenga

Plot twist Xephos is total shit at War

Monopoly was banned after the incident


once, a stubborn gentleman
stumbled at seven am
in one unusual morning
upon a pile of unicorn shit.
he thought that from now on
his life fortune is ensured.
he counted
no more or less
than two hundred goosebumps
on his pale skin running with godspeed
in endless dreams. after one hour a rainbow
colored ballon exploded with a notable puff in his stomach.
he started to vomit politely
in one of his feeble pockets the following ones:
a kaleidoscope of candies,
monopoly games, emerald stones,
pink lollipops, magic monkeys
and some kind of esoteric bluff that
he couldn’t decipher at all for the love of god.
the stubborn gentleman was very conservative in his believes.
he was a devoted christian
and the head of an aristocratic family.
he had three little children he saw only in weekends.
in the rest of the week
he was busy with the church, the bank
and generally important crap.
he didn’t believe in dauntless ghosts or pink lollipops.
the mother of his lonely children left our world three years ago.
he trusted in god and he feared satan.
he didn’t believe in children dreams
or pixies tripping on poisoned shrimps.
so now you understand
why he was so perplexed
as he puked all the unusual stuff,
especially when
he observed the magic monkeys
sipping children stories between their trembling toes.
he thought he was dreaming a long time forgotten dream.
he poked his noble nose hard three times in repeat,
but the scenery didn’t change a bit.
he murmured a hallelujah and a humble prayer
between his porcelain teeth,
rolled north and south, east and west
his blood injected eyes one more time
before he succumbed into the darkness
that enveloped his heart flutter for the last time.
one minute later he woke up in la la land
playing alone monopoly games under a pile of unicorn shit.
and that’s it. this’s the unbelievable story of our stubborn gentleman.

ps: i’ve no idea what happened with the lonely kids
but i bet a sweet tempered family
took them under velvet,
angelic wings.