Two Medieval Monks Invent Bestiaries

By Mallory Ortberg on The Toast

MONK #1: do birds have meetings
MONK #2: absolutely
they have a Meeting Hat and everything
MONK #1: what do they have meetings about
MONK #2: mostly who gets to wear the meeting hat

MONK #1: do human women sleep in beds or–
MONK #2: no that’s dogs you’re thinking of
MONK #1: right right

MONK #1: what part of the knight do fish go on
MONK #2: the head
MONK #1: thanks
MONK #2: oh absolutely
no problem at all
MONK #1: both lying flatwise across the head, or…?
MONK #2: no one on each side
like ears
MONK #1: ok great

MONK #1: so when a dog and a bird make out
MONK #2: right
MONK #1: it’s usually the bird that’s on top
MONK #2: yeah
MONK #1: great

MONK #1: hey is it owls or people that live in caves and build fires?
MONK #2: owls

MONK #1: hey roughly what size are sparrows
MONK #2: mm
it kind of depends
MONK #1: like
AS big as a tree
or not quite as big as a tree?
MONK #2: oh pretty much the same size as a tree

MONK #1: can cows sail boats?
MONK #2: hahaha no
common misconception
they have to put wheels on the boat and roll it over land

MONK #1: what do birds eat
MONK #2: other birds mostly
MONK #1: like different kinds of birds, or something else
MONK #2: no birds only eat exactly the same kind of birds that they are

MONK #1: what kind of bird tucks people into bed at night
usually I mean
MONK #2: any bird
any kind of walking bird
MONK #1: and when it tucks you in, people usually look…
MONK #2: incredibly worried
it’s incredibly worrying when the bedbird tucks you in

MONK #1: ugh sorry to bother you again
MONK #2: no no its fine
this is what i’m here for
what is it
MONK #1: what part of a goat is a snail again
like the front end or the back end
MONK #2: what part do you feel like should be the snail part
MONK #1: the back part?
MONK #2: you shouldnt doubt yourself
you know more about goats than you give yourself credit for

MONK #1: what usually rides horses
like people or–
MONK #2: fire

Sometimes an artist just finds a niche and runs with it.

Take Eduard von Grützner, for example. German painter back in the early 1900s. He tried a whole bunch of stuff over the course of his career, but eventually he settled into doing paintings of fat, sassy monks drinking booze.

Just tubby old priests getting plastered.

He did dozens of these things.

Today it’s literally all he’s known for.

You do your thing, Eddie. You do your thing.


ART: Tibetan Monks Use Millions of Grains of Sand to Create Breathtaking Murals

As part of a tour put on by an organization called The Mystical Arts of Tibet, a group of Tibetan Buddhist monks from India recently visited the Crow Collection of Asian Art in Dallas, Texas.

They were there for a weeklong residency during which they constructed this magnificent Tantric Buddhist mandala sandpainting.

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A Peek into the Life of a Tibetan Monk with @gdax

For a peek into the daily life of Tibetan monk དགེ་འདུན་དབང་ཕྱུག (Gedun Wangchuk), follow @gdax on Instagram.

དགེ་འདུན་དབང་ཕྱུག, or Gedun Wangchuk, (@gdax) is a Buddhist monk living in Tibet, where he uses Instagram to share scenes from his daily life atop one of the highest locations on earth. The region boasts an average elevation of 4,900 meters (16,000 feet) and is home to some of the world’s tallest mountains, including Mount Everest at the Nepal border to the southwest.

“Mankind shares and lives on planet Earth as one family with each continent having its own different nationalities, religions, faith, customs, unique culture and languages. But aside from such differences, we all have the same common desire for happiness,” Gedun says. “That’s why Instagram, as a window to this global family, is a joy.”

CHINA, BEIJING : Tibetan monks dressed as demons attend the Beating Ghost festival at the Yonghe Temple, also known as the Lama Temple, in
Beijing on March 19, 2015. The Beating Ghost festival, or Da Gui
festival in Chinese, is an important ritual of Tibetan Buddhism and is
believed to expel evil spirits and shake off troubles.          AFP