monkey school

Quotes from College
  • “porn is a theme”  “idk i think its more of a hobby”
  • “I don’t like sex because thats what dishwashers are for”
  • “yes, i stab every baby. I stabbed you as a baby, and I will stab your babies and then your babies’ babies.”
  • “Are you eating easy mac with chopsticks?” “yeah” “why” “because i’ve lost the small amount of control i had over my life”
  • “Have you jumped a horse since may?” “No, but my death wish is pretty intense today.” “Okay” *jumps fence that is definitely too high while trainer nods in solidarity*
  • “I’m trying to decide if I should get up and eat a trisket” “just one?” “yeah.”
  • “I’d fight a clown. I’d fight 10 clowns!”
  • “…and then {the dean} said to just fucking get over it” “wait, did she actually say that?” “bro, would I lie about this?”
  • “This…is…Howard!” *bio professor whips out chameleon from god only knows where*
  • “These are the Yale-ies. They are capuchins, there are 9 of them, all of them are named after James Bond characters and all of them are assholes.” 
  • “This is where we keep the leopard geckos and the turtles. the geckos like to be pet. the turtles do not. I know its tempting, but dont touch the turtles” *later that day, newbie comes in with bandaged fingers* “WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY!”
  • “Hey, professor, we named one of our plants after you!” “Ah, is this a good thing?” “Depends. We may kill it.”
  • “So you work with the monkeys?” “Yep.” “What do you do with them?”  “Oh, you know. Monkey business.” 

my brother is sitting in the chair in my room studying a practice test thing for his final test before he becomes a fully certified EMT tomorrow and he’s mumbling some of the questions out loud and he just went “a child has fallen from a monkey at school…” and he just got dead quiet and stared at the wall for like a solid minute with the most stricken look on his face before he whispered “there’s no protocol for monkeys”


bro it means monkey bars 

The signs as overpowered anime characters

Aries: Saitama

Originally posted by shokugekis

Taurus: Tatsuya Shiba

Originally posted by psychopass

Gemini: Himura Kenshin

Originally posted by cikbuds10rockarolla

Cancer: Monkey D. Luffy

Originally posted by ukitakejuushiro

Leo: Hyoubu Kyousuke

Originally posted by peporo

Virgo: Eucliwood Hellscythe

Originally posted by kamiscythemeister

Libra: Cadis Etrama Di Raizel

Originally posted by madminami

Scorpio: Goku

Originally posted by dragonatics-saiyan

Sagittarius: Gildarts Clive

Originally posted by panzoom

Capricorn: Alucard

Originally posted by pure-reve

Aquarius: Lucy / Kaede / Nyu

Originally posted by 01101100011011110110101101100101

Pisces: Meliodas

Originally posted by shokugekis

ID #32968

Name: Nerea
Age: 18
Country: Spain

Hi, my name is Nerea, I’m 18 and I’m from Spain. I’m currently studying my last year of high school. I’m a friendly spanish girl who would like to get to know different people from different places.
I love music like Arctic Monkeys, Imagine Dragons, Bastille, Ed Sheeran,etc.
I also love reading. I read poetry (I really love poetry), science fiction, romantic, drama…
I like sports and I’m a fan of soccer.
I love learning different things and new cultures.
One of my favourites things in the world is travelling (even if I can’t do it as much as I’d like).  

Preferences:  I’d like someone from another country because that way I could practise my English.