monkey school

Quotes from College
  • “porn is a theme”  “idk i think its more of a hobby”
  • “I don’t like sex because thats what dishwashers are for”
  • “yes, i stab every baby. I stabbed you as a baby, and I will stab your babies and then your babies’ babies.”
  • “Are you eating easy mac with chopsticks?” “yeah” “why” “because i’ve lost the small amount of control i had over my life”
  • “Have you jumped a horse since may?” “No, but my death wish is pretty intense today.” “Okay” *jumps fence that is definitely too high while trainer nods in solidarity*
  • “I’m trying to decide if I should get up and eat a trisket” “just one?” “yeah.”
  • “I’d fight a clown. I’d fight 10 clowns!”
  • “…and then {the dean} said to just fucking get over it” “wait, did she actually say that?” “bro, would I lie about this?”
  • “This…is…Howard!” *bio professor whips out chameleon from god only knows where*
  • “These are the Yale-ies. They are capuchins, there are 9 of them, all of them are named after James Bond characters and all of them are assholes.” 
  • “This is where we keep the leopard geckos and the turtles. the geckos like to be pet. the turtles do not. I know its tempting, but dont touch the turtles” *later that day, newbie comes in with bandaged fingers* “WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY!”
  • “Hey, professor, we named one of our plants after you!” “Ah, is this a good thing?” “Depends. We may kill it.”
  • “So you work with the monkeys?” “Yep.” “What do you do with them?”  “Oh, you know. Monkey business.” 

my brother is sitting in the chair in my room studying a practice test thing for his final test before he becomes a fully certified EMT tomorrow and he’s mumbling some of the questions out loud and he just went “a child has fallen from a monkey at school…” and he just got dead quiet and stared at the wall for like a solid minute with the most stricken look on his face before he whispered “there’s no protocol for monkeys”

bro

bro it means monkey bars 

The signs as overpowered anime characters

Aries: Saitama

Originally posted by shokugekis

Taurus: Tatsuya Shiba

Originally posted by psychopass

Gemini: Himura Kenshin

Originally posted by cikbuds10rockarolla

Cancer: Monkey D. Luffy

Originally posted by ukitakejuushiro

Leo: Hyoubu Kyousuke

Originally posted by peporo

Virgo: Eucliwood Hellscythe

Originally posted by kamiscythemeister

Libra: Cadis Etrama Di Raizel

Originally posted by madminami

Scorpio: Goku

Originally posted by dragonatics-saiyan

Sagittarius: Gildarts Clive

Originally posted by panzoom

Capricorn: Alucard

Originally posted by pure-reve

Aquarius: Lucy / Kaede / Nyu

Originally posted by 01101100011011110110101101100101

Pisces: Meliodas

Originally posted by shokugekis

ID #32968

Name: Nerea
Age: 18
Country: Spain

Hi, my name is Nerea, I’m 18 and I’m from Spain. I’m currently studying my last year of high school. I’m a friendly spanish girl who would like to get to know different people from different places.
I love music like Arctic Monkeys, Imagine Dragons, Bastille, Ed Sheeran,etc.
I also love reading. I read poetry (I really love poetry), science fiction, romantic, drama…
I like sports and I’m a fan of soccer.
I love learning different things and new cultures.
One of my favourites things in the world is travelling (even if I can’t do it as much as I’d like).  

Preferences:  I’d like someone from another country because that way I could practise my English.