monkey pee

  • Aries: Miley Cyrus' twerking craze.
  • Taurus: Justin Bieber leaving his pet monkey in Germany and peeing in a mop bucket.
  • Gemini: Lindsey Lohan's falling down during the 2000's.
  • Cancer: Brittany Spears' umbrella-swinging and bald-headed meltdown.
  • Leo: Jennifer Lawrence falling during the oscars.
  • Virgo: Justin Bieber throwing up during a performance.
  • Libra: Kayne West interrupting Taylor Swift's speech.
  • Scorpio: Everything about Amanda Bynes.
  • Sagittarius: Charlie Sheen's Two and a Half Men downfall.
  • Capricorn: The Paula Deen scandal.
  • Aquarius: Nicki Minaj calling Miley Cyrus out during the VMA's.
  • Pisces: Beyonce's hair gets stuck in a fan.
  • “How do I get this off me quickly without betraying my cool exterior?”
  • “No one would kill you. You’re just a little puppy dog.”
  • “Well, hey, I didn’t spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.”
  • “There are hits and there are misses… and then there are misses.”
  • “I’m warning you. If this is monkey pee, you’re on your own.”
  • “I would never lie; I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.”
  • “I have to admit, that fulfilled one of my boyhood fantasies.”
  • “That’s why I like you. Your ideas are even weirder than mine.”
  • “No, wait. This is the part where they bring out Elvis.”
  • “I could smell you a mile away.“
  • “Well, they told me that even though my deodorant is made for a woman, it’s strong enough for a man.”
  • “You think they would have taken me more seriously if I wore the grey suit?”
  • “If there’s an ice tea in that bag, could be love.”
  • “Does this pitch somehow end with a way for me to lower my long distance charges?”
  • “Did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?”
  • “Maybe it was another bald-headed, jigsaw-puzzle-tattooed, naked guy I saw.”
  • “It’s not a funhouse, it’s a tabernacle of terror.”
  • “I’m exhuming… your potato.”
  • “Exactly how does one become a professional blockhead?”
  • “Life… is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for.”
  • “Sure, fine, whatever.”
  • “I wouldn’t want to disappoint you by not disappointing you.”
  • “Please explain to me the scientific nature of the ‘whammy’.”
  • “If you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you’d lapse into catatonic schizophrenia.”
  • “Does your policy cover the acts of extraterrestrials?”
  • “Your kung-fu is the best.”
  • “Aluminum foil makes a lovely hat, and it blocks out the government’s mind control rays.”
  • “Maybe it’ll start raining weenies and marshmallows.”
  • “Maybe if it rained sleeping bags, you’ll get lucky.”
  • “Not everybody’s dream is to get on Jerry Springer.”
  • “Do you have an old cemetery in town, off the beaten path, the creepier the better?”
  • “…and then he sort of flew at me like a flying squirrel.”
  • “One more anal-probing gyro-pyro levitating ecoplasm alien anti-matter story and I’m going to take out my gun and shoot somebody.”
  • “It’s not ice cream. It’s a nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle.”
  • “I scream, you scream, we all scream for nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicles!”
  • “One more pun and I pull out my gun.”

How long until your pug puppy was fully housebroken? Monkey’s been peeing & pooping a lot in the house this weekend.

Made with Instagram
the signs as my favorite x files quotes;

aries: “ Hey, Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?” 

taurus: “ Sir, have I pissed you off in a way that’s more than normal? ”

gemini: “ Did you learn about wind in kindergarten? “

cancer: “I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.” 

leo: “ I’m a pain in the ass to work with.” 

virgo: “ Sure, fine, whatever.” 

libra: “ Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!” “ I guess their parachutes didn’t open.”

scorpio: “ If coincidences are coincidences, why do they feel so contrived?” 

sagittarius: “ I was thinking of having an NY tattooed on my ass to commemorate the Yankees’ World Series victory.”

capricorn: “ Okay, Mulder. But I’m warning you, if this is monkey pee, you’re on your own.”

aquarius: “ One more pun and I pull out my gun.”

pisces: “Dear Diary: Today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested spontaneous human combustion.”


Watch this NOW. It has to do with Mark, monkeys, coffee spillage, and FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDIES!!!! (and yes markiplier your fans did find this) I can’t wait to see the videos coming from this!!!! This has brought me happiness for like the rest of this year!!!!

The Signs as X-Files Quotes

Aries: “Okay Mulder, but I’m warning you, if this is monkey pee, you’re on your own.” -Scully
Taurus: "Don’t try and threaten me, Mulder. I’ve watched presidents die.” -Cancer Man
Gemini: “Look, you have my files and you have my gun, don’t ask me for my trust.” -Mulder
Cancer: “Hey Scully, check this out. Mango Kiwi Tropical Swirl. Now we KNOW we’re dealing with a madman.” -Mulder
Leo:  "Ah, you got to love this place. Everyday is like Halloween.” -Mulder
Virgo: “In my book, I’d written that Agent Scully falls in love but that’s obviously impossible. Agent Scully is already in love.” -Phillip Padgett
Libra: “I’m sorry… But, you have something I need.” -Leonard Betts
Scorpio: "Hey Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?” -Mulder
Sagittarius:  "You know, they say when you talk to God it’s prayer, but when God talks to you it’s…schizophrenia.” -Mulder
Capricorn: “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you, Scully.” -Mulder
Aquarius: "You and your pretty partner seem awfully close. Do you work well together?” -Robert Modell
Pisces: “I’m driving. Why do you always have to drive anyway? Because you’re the guy? Because you’re the big, macho man?” -Scully