monk drew

10

My Top 10 Strangest Anime

1. Unko-san
I think this should be an obvious choice for top spot. It’s a freaking piece of crap. A literal piece of crap, living on his crap-shaped island with his crap friends. Not really any place to go from there.

2. Welcome to Irabu’s Office
I know that most people would probably consider this a psychological anime and excuse its quirkiness under that title, but I just can’t do that. I couldn’t even give this the 3-episode test. I barely lasted through one. I could feel my brain rebelling against the fragmented plot and characters and overly-bright colors.

3. Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo
The title alone almost earns it this spot on the list. But then there’s the premise. The characters command magic power through their hair. Not even kidding. There are people who steal hair for its magic power and absurdly long wiggly mustaches and all sorts of weirdness.

4. Samurai Pizza Cats
The title pretty much tells you what you need to know about this show, and why it’s on this list. They’re samurai cats who use a pizza place as a cover for their operations base.

5. Akikan!
So in Japan, there are vending machines for pretty much everything, and that’s kind of the focus of this series; juice machines. Specifically, the materials the cans are made of. The cans transform into magical girls when their owners drink from them. Their powers can only be replenished by refills or by eating the fruits that their juices come from. They use these powers to duke it out and prove which can material is the best. My favorite part was when before fights, the cans would trash talk about the other can’s materials.

6. Cat Soup
I can’t even describe how badly I was mind-fucked by this anime. Luckily, it was just a short movie. Again, falls into the category of psychological, but mostly to cover up its weirdness. The cat girl has her soul partially taken, and her brother embarks on a journey to recover it. Along the way, he eats parts of a pig alive, drinks an elephant made of water, and generally does fucked-up things.

7. Apocalypse Zero
This thankfully only had 2 episodes. It focuses on a father who trains his son and daughter to protect the rest of the human race in some post-apocalyptic future. The girl decides to use these abilities to kill off all humans instead, pitting her against her brother in a struggle for the earth’s future. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? WRONG. Everything is WAAAAAY over acted, and that’s probably the best thing I can say about it. The demons are what really puts this anime on the list. There’s one very large, fat female demon who is pretty much naked, gnarly pubic mane and all, who preys on young men and sucks their skins off. It was just so wrong.

8. Kyousougiga
This is one of those shows that makes more sense once you see the end, but it was still weird. The story starts with a monk whose drawings come to life, and one of those drawings, a rabbit named Koto, falls in love with him and uses a buddha’s body to approach him. They adopt a boy, and the monk draws two other siblings to complete the family, who then moves into a city that the monk drew. Again, colors way too bright, and a rushed, fragmented plot.

9. Kill la Kill
I know a lot of people like this, but just think about the plot for a minute: Clothes. Try. To take. Over. The. World. Fucking clothes! And then the plot just gets weirder from there, from motherly rape to ridiculous amounts of fan service. So weird.

10. Sleeping with Hinako
I think it’s a testament to the other animes on this list that an anime with 40 minutes of a sleeping girl is ranked last. But seriously, she talks for a bit, then sleeps. Obviously this is unashamedly for people who want fanservice. But it’s still ridiculously weird.

Bastion Campaign, Number 2

This one needs backstory.

My Bard/Paladin had just died and been replaced by a battlemaster Fighter, so needless to say, I was a little tired of the bullcrap coming from the other characters. We were gearing up to assassinate the leader of a gladiatorial arena at his wedding, so everyone was getting all fancied up, and the rogue, who is played by a rather tomboyish girl, was putting up a fuss about being uncomfortable in the dress she had bought. Everyone was being noisy and ridiculous.

I was tired both in real life and in game, so, in the dining hall of the tavern we were in, took the dress from her, had my (very manly man) archer strip down and put on the dress.

Needless to say, everyone lost their crap, and the monk cast silence.

I drew out my Crossbow of Whispers, a magical item that allows me to cast message on the target of any attack I make that hits, and fired at the rogue. Nobody except for her was able to hear when I said, “And I look better in it than you ever will.”

And stalked out of the tavern like a diva.

A New Man (Genyatta)

A request from an anon. 

Zenyatta was never one to venture too far from the temple in Nepal, but when he did, it was to visit the waterfalls that cascaded down the sides of the mountainous cliffs. The mist rolled along the pools at the bottom of the various falls. A gently wind blew the perspiration along the ground, and Zenyatta hummed, the orbs around his neck spinning with his thought as he moved through the small clouds of water. The gold aura glanced through the mist as the omnic moved around to go and sit by the water’s edge, his hands pressed together as he floated above the soft earth. The mist was thin by the water’s edge and Zenyatta chuckled as a fish swam up to the surface. Dipping his metallic fingers into the water, the monk wiggled the appendages just below the surface and hummed pleasantly as the fish opened its mouth, mouthing his metal fingers curiously. Zenyatta carefully tugged his hand away and watched the fish circle before it flapped its tail and disappeared back beneath the crashing water.

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2

Portrait of a lady

Some medieval images are just different. This one shows a close-up of a woman’s face, which is unusual enough for medieval books. What is really astonishing is the detail of the image, as well as its modern - almost cartoon-like - feel. The tiny white lines in her eyes give her face a sad look, a trick still used by artists today. There is something else that makes the face stand out. It is found on the page of a Necrology (Pic 2), a book that was used in monasteries to remember benefactors (and their spouses) that had passed away. The entry which the woman’s face accompanies reads “Died, Peter Braumiche and his wife Agneta.” Given how deeply personal such entries are - they regard good friends of the monastery - the image way well be drawn to represent Agneta. After all, the monk who drew the face probably knew the benefactors. If this is correct, we are looking at the medieval equivalent of a photograph on the grave of a loved one. Rest in peace.

Pic: Joigny, Bibliotheque municipale, 26.