money i should not have spent

Kitchen Fires

Summary- You accidentally set fire to the kitchen… based off a prompt from this list.

Warnings- None!

Pairings- Daniel Seavey x Reader 

Notes- This is a quick little drabble I whipped up the other day! Sorry ti’s so short! I feel like I have to write one for every boy so I’ll be going through more prompts to see which fits them best! (The is in no particular order just whomever I feel fits my idea!) 


     “Nononononononono, Shut up please! I can fix this just be quiet!” You tell the kitchen fire alarm as you wave a towel around, trying to clear the air. The blaring was killing your ears and you didn’t want the boys to find out you had set fire to something in the kitchen. Again. You really wanted to surprise them with some Flambé because they deserved it and you loved it… but now that you think about it, you really weren’t meant for the kitchen and should have spent the money at a restaurant.

“Again?! I thought we told you that you aren’t allowed in the kitchen anymore for anything other than eating!” Daniel runs down, scolding you.

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i just saw an article on facebook about a 9-year-old boy who spent his spring break selling lemonade to raise money for his grandpas cancer treatment and i’m just sitting over here wondering if this is supposed to be some uplifting story or??? because a literal child should not have to work to keep their grandparent alive god…. healthcare in america is truly terrible

✧ ( F.R.I.E.N.D.S  SENTENCE  STARTERS.

warning:  adult language and mild sexual themes. change pronouns to your liking/as you see fit!

❛ Now that I’ve untangled you, how about you do something for me? ❜
❛ All right! I just don’t see why you like it so much! ❜
❛ Babe, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well. ❜
❛ I’m fine! Hey, I’m great! I’m just, I’m just proud of us. ❜
❛ I realize that you didn’t expect to walk in and see that, but… Let me explain, okay? ❜
❛ We weren’t doing anything!  ❜
❛ Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some. ❜
❛ I’m sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. ❜
❛ How could you mess this up? It’s so easy. ❜
❛ If I wanted this cake to be a disaster, I would have baked it myself! ❜
❛ I know what you’re thinking! The resemblance is uncanny! ❜
❛ It’s the longest I’ve ever spent on a computer without looking at porn. ❜
❛ You just got to accept the fact that this is going to cost you a lot of money. ❜
❛ Dude, I don’t think you should be wearing that. ❜
❛ Oh, I see. Somebody’s afraid of a little competition with the ladies? ❜
❛ If you had to, what would you give up? Food or sex? ❜
❛ It’s perfect! It’s everything we’ve been looking for! ❜
❛ What? When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys? ❜
❛ Why don’t you sit down… get yourself comfortable… because I have a little surprise for you. ❜
❛ Please just…just pull yourself together okay? ❜
❛ We’re not a couple- we’re definitely not a couple. ❜
❛ What, I’m not good enough for you? ❜
❛ Wow, you, uh, you seem pretty insulted by that.. ❜
❛ We’re not gonna have this conversation again. ❜
❛ Oh, you are, you really do like big butts, don’t you? ❜
❛ Why can’t you be supportive? ❜
❛ You have always been jealous of me! ❜
❛ You want to know why you don’t want me to have the baby? ❜
❛ You have to have everything and I couldn’t have anything. ❜
❛ Wait a minute; you don’t think it was intentional? ❜
❛ So, does anybody have any ideas how to organize this?  ❜
❛ Uh, don’t you think that would be a little weird? ❜
❛ We were on a break! ❜
❛ For the last time, I don’t care what the computer says. ❜
❛ I’m kind of going through a dry spell, sex wise.. ❜
❛ I’m across the street, having sex right now. ❜
❛ Whoa—hey—wh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? ❜
❛ What? Are you afraid you’re gonna run out? ❜
❛ Any minute now, the police will be here. ❜
❛ Well, if you’re gonna get to know him then you’d better do it now. ❜
❛ Well, excuse me for trying to put a positive spin on a traffic jam! ❜
❛ If only there was something in your head to control the things you say! ❜
❛ You know what, ____? Why don’t you just put that on your answering machine! ❜
❛ Oh, I’m sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else? ❜
❛ There is no right or wrong, here. ❜
❛ You just asked me whether I wanted to go to bed with you tonight! ❜
❛ You know how some people walk in a room and everybody takes notice? ❜
❛ It’s never taken me a week to get over a relationship. ❜
❛ It’s never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship. ❜
❛ Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum? ❜
❛ I started using humor as a defense mechanism. ❜
❛ Uh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? ❜
❛ Now it’s not gonna make any sense! ❜
❛ It’s not the sweater. It’s what’s underneath the sweater that counts. ❜
❛ You’re so stupid, how are you not yet extinct? ❜
❛ I broke up with you because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you. ❜
❛ Why would you need to say “hi” to them? ❜
❛ I’m just going to wander around in the rain. ❜
❛ I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses. ❜
❛ That’s kind of a masculine name, don’t you think? ❜
❛ “Don’t count on it.” Seems like it works to me. ❜
❛ I went to the park and let a bee sting me. ❜
❛ I’m really getting tired of always sneaking around all the time. ❜
❛ I don’t even feel like I know you any more.  ❜
❛ Whatever you say, I’ll believe you. ❜
❛ All right, I’m just going to ask you this one time. ❜
❛ I’m surprised you didn’t go home wearing your lunch! ❜
❛ Someday I’ll tell you about the time I stabbed a cop! ❜
❛ Look, we’re not just messing around!  ❜
❛ I’m so sorry that you had to find out this way. ❜
❛ You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? ❜
❛ You were worried about me? You didn’t know how I was going to react? ❜
❛ Do you really think the best reason to get married is because you’re sorry? ❜
❛ I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week. ❜
❛ I can’t talk you out of this. It’s a great life. ❜
❛ I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open. ❜
❛ I mean, didn’t you even run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? ❜
❛ What did you do that bad that make dad cut you off? ❜
❛ I guess it makes sense, you know, having such a terrible childhood. ❜
❛ I had a terrible childhood and I don’t do porn. ❜
❛ I always thought having a heart attack was nature’s way of telling you to die! ❜
❛ I mean… you — you are going to die, but you’re not gonna die today. ❜
❛ I mean, if you’re not careful, you may not get married at all this year. ❜
❛ Can we come in yet? We’re dying out here! ❜
❛ I didn’t know it was a big secret. ❜
❛ Why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine? ❜
❛ It’s a known fact that women love babies, all right? ❜
❛ I was doing great before I found out about you! ❜
❛ And it’s not like I didn’t try, but things got in the way! ❜
❛ I’ve been doing this for ten years and I haven’t gotten anywhere. ❜
❛ You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme. ❜
❛ Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?  ❜
❛ What’s the worst that could happen? ❜
❛ How do you expect me to grow if you won’t let me blow? ❜
❛ Why must everybody watch me sleep? ❜
❛ Haven’t you ever gotten beat up before? ❜
❛ It’s such a shame you can’t see what finger I’m holding up. ❜
❛ I didn’t know what I was taking responsibility for! ❜
❛ When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me. ❜
❛ I would’ve thought it was the other way around. ❜
❛ I remember I cried the night you made that up. ❜

cerastes  asked:

ok bro, it's been three years since that post, the one with the Koishi fumo and the burgers, so I really, really gotta ask, if I may: Why did you have so many burgers? It torments me every night, I need an answer to liberate me from this torture. Why did you have so many burgs?

ok so like one day i was walking back from class and i saw like… 40 or so giftcards just dumped on the floor and i for shits and giggles decided to take a few to see if they had money on them. they were all spent but to check the last card i decided to go to a mcdonalds to see if that one had funds. now i was pretty dumb at the time so for again shits and giggles i ordered 12 cheeseburgers and when i swiped the card… it worked. there were funds on it. the order was processed and i sat there with a straight face waiting for my burgers. they came in a big bag and i came home wondering what i should do with them. then that post happened, the funny thing though is after i have no idea what happened to them, i ate two but after that they just disappeared. zip. gone. adios. i asked my dad if he had any but he never knew they were there at all. no one has been home otherwise so where they’ve gone remains a mystery to this day.            

pictured is present day koishers, haunted koishi fumo that eats your burgers and calls you a bitch

outofexits  asked:

I'm not disappointed that the album is RP and me being upset doesn't have anything to do with the boys & how hard they work but I was kind of shocked since I spent all of my money to buy this album($ extremely expensive in my country).I really would have appreciated it if bighit didn't have such an unfair marketing system that's built purely on the hype because now I legit have nothing left and as a consumer I deserved to be told certain things & just cuz I bought the album doesn't make it right

I understand how you feel, BigHit really should have clearly stated it was a repackage of WINGS rather than Supplementary Story. 

but first I think things need to be cleared up before we start accusing BigHit of things. if we take a step back, bangtan was a tiny group with a tiny fanbase with a rather tiny company with not much of a footprint in the industry. so the concepts were simpler, there were fewer albums, fewer mvs, fewer teasers, fewer trailers. as BigHit and Bangtan grew, so did their fanbase. but the fans expected a certain quality when it came to their favourite group and BigHit always delivers. 

but to be able to now have multiple M/Vs per album, long conceptual interlinking storylines, the sets and locations they have, the wardrobe, the camera/lighting/sound system, to get a better dance practice studio, to be able to provide bigger and better for the boys, and for the fans, and to be able to pay all the staff (producers, managers, stylists, etc etc etc) BigHit had to find a way to obviously make more money to continue providing fans with more elaborate works with every comeback. 

remember when they had to borrow a managers car in the  I Need U M/V because they didn’t have enough money to rent one to film with? and now, we see them having enough money to not only blow up a car! but hire 50 backup dancers! 

BigHit and BTS rely on sales of albums, fanmeets, fansigns, summer packages, seasons greetings, etc etc to be able to continue making more elaborate things for the fans. do you think they would have been able to have 7 different mini basically short film trailers to tease the new WINGS album a year ago? no, but they were able to now because of album sales.

the thing to remember is that BigHit & Bangtan are not asking you to buy every version of an album, it does not make you less of a fan if you buy only 1 or if you don’t buy a single one. but of course like anything there are those who will collect no matter what, no matter how many versions. I understand it sucks to have thought it was going to be a new album and having bought the previous versions for it to be only a repackage with a handful of new songs, but honestly this repackage doesn’t make it any less of an important album. epilogue was a repackage and in all honesty that repackage with those 3 new songs really helped bangtan further their success. this is a business so at the end of the day, yes they want the money and they will figure out ways of doing so, but also, you have to remember it is not done selfishly and for only gain for the company, but as a gain to put back into the boys, the boys success, and the fans invested interest of the group, as well as being able to find new fans by attracting them with their highly produced and detailed M/Vs

but I also kinda want to say that as much as BigHit should have labeled it a repackage, it was also very obvious that it was going to be a repackage because it was the continuation of WINGS. it was the ‘S’ we were missing, and I highly doubt they would have released a full new album for part of another album. there are many ways to look at it, but I think it’s important to understand why, as a company, BigHit is doing it this way

My biggest piece of advice for first year teachers -

I’ve been reflecting a lot as I’ve been observing all of the back-to-school posts from new teachers here, seeing their wishlists, carts full of Target Dollar Spot finds, woe and excitement in purchasing supplies, etc. 

And, honestly, I have a lot of mixed feelings. Because in my own personal experience, a lot of the things I bought prior to actually having my own classroom never got used quite the way I planned, if at all. I also realized that I should have asked my school about student supply lists and what they had in their school supply cabinet for us before I bought or asked for things - though I completely recognize that some schools do not have either of those.

I have a lot of regret about how much money I spent on frivolous colorful containers or cute borders, etc. On fun things from that aforementioned Dollar Spot that I was convinced I’d find a use for in my future classroom, because I thought I’d have all the time in the world for a super intricate and cutesy system, without much thought into how my kids would actually operate within that in the long-term. Like most new teachers, I was filled with a million idealized ideas not yet bound to some of the reality of the day-to-day and just “surviving” that set in. 

I don’t even say this because I left the traditional classroom long before I initially planned to take my current position - I gave away some things, sold others, but still have several boxes of my best and most practical stuff if I ever feel that urge to return. And going through that stuff showed me just how much of it I never used.

I say this because first year teacher Kait struggled so much with money on her first year teacher income (to the point that I was waitressing three days a week just to have money to do things besides pay the bills and eat). And I wish someone had told me to stop spending so much of my money on my classroom and save that money for my own well-being. It doesn’t mean you care less for your students and that there won’t be circumstances once you’re in your classroom and have it functioning that you might realize you need to purchase something, but those random Dollar Spot hauls add up. I wish I had taken a second to really reflect about how and when I was going to use those things.

I know it’s hard to recognize it in that moment when you’re full of excitement for your perfect Pinterest-ready classroom, but my second year I tried to be much more conscious of what I bought and got more creative - instead of having tangible things in my Class Dojo auctions, I made coupons for students to eat lunch with me in the room or sit in my rolly chair. Honestly, they preferred those privileges to cheap toys or candy. I got over my guilt in asking parents for things, especially those that kept asking how they could help. I would get over not having every thing matching perfectly and use the uglier hodgepodge of folders I dug up in the supply closet. I stopped expanding my classroom library except when I got scholastic points or items off my wishlist, and encouraged my students to fully utilize the school and public library.

Again, I fully recognize the privilege of some of these scenarios, and am not saying that teachers shouldn’t buy some things for their classrooms. I know firsthand that we do what it takes to survive - when I student taught in Detroit, I bought the supplemental workbooks for our textbook series off Amazon just so I could have them to make copies since our building had lost theirs. But I suppose this is just my caution to new teachers - don’t go overboard. Wait until you figure out what you actually need once you’ve established your classroom routine. Wait until you know for sure what will be provided to you. You may realize it’s different than what you imagined, and most of all, you need to take care of yourself, too. That’s the real key to success in your first year of teaching.

Essays in Existentialism: Jurassic

I really love your fics so I was wondering if you’ll pleaseee write a clexa jurassic park au Tks

“Most meat eaters walked on two feet. This made them faster and left their hands free to grab their prey,” the professor explained, clicking the pointer so that the page changed. “Most plant eaters walked on four feet to better carry their heavy bodies. Some plant eaters could balance on two feet for a short time.”

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anonymous asked:

I just realized something and I don't really know how to say it but hear me out. In RS Harry talks about the girlfriend he had before xf and how he spent so much money on her and worshipped the ground she walked on and he still remembers her perfume. THAT is how someone should talk about an ex. But with Taylor, Kendall, etc. he dodges it at all costs? People would claim he's being mysterious but if he wants to be mysterious he doesn't have to talk about the first girl either. Just my observation

probably because that high school relationship was genuine and all his publicised ones are decidedly not genuine but SOME people [looks into the camera like i’m on the office] still can’t tell the difference

Witchy Real Talk: Storebought, Man-Made, and “Not Powerful”

This topic comes up a lot in the witchy community. You’ll be browsing through articles about crystals and you’ll see something to the effect of “this citrine is laboratory grown! It doesn’t have any magickal properties! It has to be naturally grown for it to be worth anything in witchcraft!” And it’s not just citrine. I’ve seen this with amethyst, quartz (and not just clear quartz - the same arguments keep being made in regards to titanium quartz, aura quartz, et cetera), and even resin castings. Resin castings!

So… why am I writing this article? Because I’m a witch who attempts to live frugally who uses crystals and herbs and spices on a regular basis in my magics. And honestly, when it comes to magic, the most important part of what makes your spells tick is the relationship between intuition and intent. To see many witches bashing lab-grown crystals or spices kept in plastic containers honestly irks me just a little, and for a couple of reasons.

First, there’s the fact that there’s just a little bit of hypocrisy involved. Glass is man-made. Sure, it can happen naturally in the wild, but glass jars don’t form where lightning strikes silica rich sand. However, a good point can be made when it comes to the fact that plastic is more harmful to the environment. I can understand and relate to that. But what makes glass such an ideal container is that it is magically neutral, like clear quartz. You can cleanse it and charge it without any worry of it affecting your energy. Plastic, for many witches, has no magical significance. It’s not going to influence your magic, and honestly it can be cleansed just like glass.

So if you’re a new witch browsing through spices and herbs, feeling a bit dejected because the glass jar herbs are two to three times more expensive than the plastic containers, go for the plastic. Remember to recycle the containers, of course, but there is no reason magic should require you to spend an arm and a leg.

Sorry, couldn’t resist the pic after that… FMA fans get what I mean…

Crystals are even more of a source for contention when it comes to man-made objects. But what bothers me here is the fact that some crystals - especially citrine - are lab grown a good majority of the time. This is because the citrine we often find in crystal shops and metaphysical stores are vibrantly colored when naturally occurring citrine crystals are a lot less vibrant most of the time. Many witches also warn against dyed crystals for the same reason that “it has less power.”

Honestly, lab-grown crystals have many of the same properties as their natural counterparts. The only thing they lack (aside from the high prices of natural crystal) is the thousands of years worth of growing time in the earth’s crust. But I personally don’t see this as too much of a problem because this gives you a crystal which is a little more flexible and can be nurtured by the witch to realize its potential.

Where I see the danger in lab-grown and dyed crystals is if the witch is being scammed. Seeing that lovely piece of turquoise and buying it only to realize that it’s a different stone entirely, dyed to look like turquoise. Or when the witch is told that a crystal is naturally vibrant in color when it has been dyed, forcing her to spend her other arm and leg just to buy it.

What I’m getting at in this rant is that if you’re a new witch or a witch who’s trying not to spend all of her money, you should not feel railroaded into buying expensive materials. I have on my altar a citrine crystal that I know is most certainly dyed. I spent less than $5 on him because I felt that was a reasonable price for him. I have a piece of amethyst whose coloration is a bit drab and brown. That natural coloration makes her rather beautiful, but doesn’t make her any more powerful than the other amethyst I have whose color is a deep purple which I know to be enhanced by dyes.

In my pantry and cupboard, I keep a lot of spices in plastic containers and tins. Yes, some of them are in glass, but only when I know I can afford them or if there aren’t any alternatives. I use these spices in spells and cooking both, and feel no difference in energy between the two.

One of my coworkers who has an interest in crystal healing once said it rather perfectly. “It’s just a rock. It’s not going to do anything by itself. You have to give it the energy. You have to program it and direct it. So it doesn’t matter if it’s natural or not.”

Our crystals do have voices. They do interact with us. But it is up to us to direct energy into, through and from them.

Now, am I bashing the more expensive alternatives? Not at all. I have a lot of glass jars that I’ve collected over the years, and I have quite a few crystals that are a bit higher up on the price range than I usually spend. I’d be quite the hypocrite if I were bashing them. My ultimate point is that if you can’t drop that much money, then don’t. Work with what you have, or with alternatives which speak to you. I’d love to work with peridot, but because I don’t have the money to drop on it, I’ll stick to quartz, moonstone, and salt. There are always options. Don’t let yourself be limited!

Blessed Be! )O(

anonymous asked:

Is it disrespectful to honor Orisha like you would honor Aphrodite or Isis? I know that in Ifa religions there's a very organized tradition a very specific way to worship. I'm asking as an African American non-Wiccan pagan. I feel such a pull to them and a closeness, like a relief from isolation. Like diaspora is significantly less stifling when I read about them, but I also dont want to be gross and appropriatve

For you it isn’t disrespectful. There’s obviously something pulling you. I’d advise you to keep reading about the Orisha, read their Pataki’s (their stories), and pay attention to which Orisha you feel the closest to. Then read up on that 1. Look at videos. Find out what they like and dislike. Talk to them out loud. If you are really confused on which is calling to you, keep asking, eventually they will come to you and show themselves to you.

Another thing I want to add is don’t get caught up in those who say you have to do one thing or another when it comes to Ifa. A lot of people spend an abundance of money to be initiated, then turn around and police those who don’t. Try to not pay them any mind. Although they should be very proud that they got to be initiated, Ifa is not about initiation (or money you spent to get there). Its about the relationship you have with the Orisha and your ancestors and allowing them to help go along your path on this earth. So, start off slow, keep reading up, and listen to your gut. Eventually you’ll know what to do 😊

Disposable pt2

Idk I was just thinking about this last night and thought I might write another part? But I’ll warn you now, if you like sad endings, stop reading after part one. I’m terrible at angst because I’m a sucker for happy endings. (Also @ anon who originally requested part 1, I’m sorry that this is about to turn into something not at all like what you asked for, forgive me)

You can read part 1, 3, 4 

Yoongi x Reader

Fake relationship

Warnings: Harsh language, mild nsfw, alcohol usage.


Yoongi waited two weeks for you to call. And he was sure that you would, because you always did. This had been a relatively normal thing for you for over a year now. Everything would seem like it was fine until one day you said you couldn’t do this anymore, then you would effectively dump him (although in order to dump him you would have had to have been in a relationship in the first place), and then a few days later you would call him again.

It was just the way it was. 

There was something different about this time, however. He hadn’t wanted to admit it, or even think about it at the time, but there was something in your eyes that night. Yoongi recognized hopelessness when he saw it.

He rubbed his eyes, reminding himself that he didn’t care. So what if you never called him? It wasn’t like he couldn’t find someone else. Though, it could be hard to find someone who didn’t ask questions. That was something he liked about you, you never asked questions about his personal life. You weren’t interested in his money, or his status. At first, you wanted the same thing that he did– a way to forget who you were for a while. 

No more stress, no more phone calls from angry bosses, no more parents who wanted to know why you weren’t married yet. It worked so well because the two of you were each others escape. 

For a few months, both of you kept feelings out of it. You were fuck buddies, no big deal. But at some point, something had shifted. He could still remember the first time he noticed it, when he had almost made the mistake of asking you to stay. He nearly didn’t catch himself in time, choking on his words and backtracking so fast that you had actually asked him if he was okay. 

He glared at his phone, waiting for something that he knew wasn’t going to happen.

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Hunters Are Monsters

I used to hunt… I’ve personally killed the animals I now defend.

After my first kill, I felt like I was going to throw up. It was a dove… I shot her head dead center with a .22 rifle. After I shot her, her body flailed around, spinning, wings flapping, kicking up dust and dirt everywhere. 

While it was more than likely she couldn’t feel the pain (and was most likely dead) with the direct hit, her body wouldn’t stop flailing… I walked up to her and fired 5 more shots into where her head used to be. I was almost certain she was dead, but I was completely certain if there was any chance she was still alive, I would be a monster. I was 10 years old. Kids at this age should never make the decision to end another’s life… It’s unfortunate so many do.

At this moment, I knew what I did was wrong, but I believed it was necessary. I continued hunting with my dad for many more years.

As soon as I discovered the animal rights/vegan community, I started taking steps to become vegan (which I successfully did at the age of 17).

The reason why I refer to hunters as monsters is because I personally felt like one while slaughtering animals. I continue to feel this way when I look back on these days. To personally end another’s life and then continue the practice as if it’s an obligation or even a hobby is fucked up. 

At 10 years old, I didn’t know we could just go to the grocery store and pick up vegetables. I didn’t understand that the human body doesn’t need meat to survive. I didn’t want to feel the pain of murder, yet I forced to through my youthful ignorance. Full grown men and women should know these things.

HUNTERS ARE MONSTERS. If you are a hunter with access to a grocery store, you are a fucked up individual. Don’t give me the bullshit excuse that it “saves money” or you need to do it because “it provides food”. Hunting is an impractical waste of time and money. If I worked a minimum wage job with all the hours I spent hunting, I would have more than enough money to buy more (and healthier) food than I got from hunting. On top of this, guns and ammo aren’t cheap - It’s a huge waste of time and money.

If you really want to spend time outside, saving money and getting food - Learn how to garden

Work In Progress, LMM/Reader

Prompt: No matter how much he liked to deny it, sometimes Lin had his doubts.

Words: 1,097 (Short! Getting back into the swing of things.)

Author’s Note: What up guys??? Got a little fic for you. i really have to that @alexanderhamllton (my wife) who is always no kind and lovely, especially about reading my drafts. And! @fragmentofmymind who graciously volunteered to read this at its beginning stages (and whose work constantly inspires me!!).

Warnings: Self-doubt. Because even Emmy, Grammy, Tony, MacArthur Genius Grant Winners have it.

Askbox | Masterlist


Lin thinks he registers keys clattering in the lock. He halfway hears your sneaker kick the heavy front door as bags rustled in your arms.  He had the coherent thought to jump up and help you unpack the groceries, but his muscles seemed to be disconnected to the nerves in his brain telling him to go.

“Lin? You home yet?” You called from the kitchen, stopping your movements to wait in silence for an answer.

Shrugging, you continued to dump the groceries on the counter. Canned goods here, vegetables there. A can of tomato paste escaped your grip and rolled down the counter, halting only when Lin’s keys laid in its path. Lin was home.

“Lin?” You asked again, kicking your shoes off before venturing further into your one bedroom apartment - there wasn’t really much further to venture.

Lin sat upright at the foot of the bed, back hunched as he stared ahead, unseeing eyes boring into the hardwood of your bedroom floor. He didn’t look up when you walked in, didn’t even flinch as the wood creaked underneath your feet.

“Hey, when’d you get home?”

His eyes closed at the question. He knew the answer. Two hours ago. But his lips couldn’t form the words. He ignored the prickling of tears in his eyes, but couldn’t ignore the sniffling his nose involuntarily did.

“Tired.” Lin mumbled, mouth barely moving.

“Let me take off your shoes.” You kneeled down before him to unlace his sneakers, an action he wouldn’t have done on his own in this state. Lin watched you work on his shoes, remembering a time when he was young and had participated in a fight with a boy two grades higher than him.

Well, participated is a loose term.

He had limped home, lip bloody and quivering and his mother had sat him at the kitchen table, working his shoes off his feet and band aids onto each of his knees. She had looked up at him with such sympathy, like he was a puzzle she couldn’t quite get together. Why couldn’t he just fight back? Why didn’t he run?

He was good at running, one of the fastest boys in his grade. But he never put it to real use. He was slow getting out of bed and he was slow to move away from a fight.

His mom always looked so sad. He could work with sad. He could crack a joke and sad would be miles away. But you didn’t look up at him with sad eyes. You looked at him with admiration. What could he do with admiration but disappoint?

Because you understood him, better than anyone who had to clean up his messes ever did. You knew that sometimes he shut down. He didn’t want a hand to hold or for someone to ask ‘What’s wrong?’.

So you did everything you could for him. You tugged away his shoes and unzipped his hoodie, pulling on the sleeves to free his arms. He always wore hoodies, even in the dead heat of a New York summer. They were comforting, he could tug at each string, back and forth, and play the zipper like it was a musical instrument to be mastered.

He had tugged off this hoodie hundreds of times, but there was a certain delicacy to your hands on his jacket that he’d never felt before. You neatly folded the garment on his bedside table, inspecting the notebook he had left open by his lamp. There had once been some semblance of writing, but they had been so furiously scratched away with his pen that there was barely any white left to the page.

“Do you think I’m a failure?” He asked, buried in the blankets you had picked out together. You liked the material, Lin liked the pure white color. Reminded him of the snow. You had met in the snow. Lin was a romantic like that, and he didn’t even have to try.

“Do you?

He shrugged, that wasn’t the answer he was looking for.

“Lin, I will never think that you’re a failure.” You promised, shutting his notebook and tucking it into a drawer. Out of sight, out of mind.

“Even if-”

Even if every crazy scenario you’ve thought about happens.”

You knew it wasn’t every crazy scenario, it was one very real, very present scenario he was currently living. That he spent his mornings substitute teaching, his afternoons grading, his nights writing, and he never stopped the first two.

“Maybe I should quit.”

“If you want to stop teaching, you know you have my supp-”

Quit writing.”

“You couldn’t quit even if you wanted to. Do you want to?”

He hummed a negative, closing his eyes as he remembered every warning his parents had given him while he was in school. Unsteady, no money, one in a million, just be a lawyer, mijo.

And sometimes he really, truly wished he had. But every time he started to wonder if his life would be better, he remembers that he would have never met you if he spent his afternoons in an office rather than in dingy basements of libraries that barely passed for a theater. And that was nowhere near better.

He peeked open an eye just to make sure you were still there, that he hadn’t manufactured you somewhere deep in his delusional mind just so his life had some light in it. And there you were, smiling down at him, reaching for his notebook to flush out the things you liked. You were his perfect filter, and if something stuck in your head, it certainly made the final cut.

“This one.” You pointed, and Lin pushed himself into a sitting position.

Sigue andando el camino por toda su vida-” He sang in a tempo that didn’t quite match what his head wanted it to. Alex would fix it later. He internally groaned, Alex but a reminder of all the work he still had to do. And just as he decided that maybe it wasn’t all worth it, you finished-

Respira.” In the perfect lilt he had imagined.

“Exactly.”

“You are so talented.” You told him, “I kind of hate you for it.”

You giggled as he pulled you down into the sheets with him, pressing kisses to your face and down your neck, his own laughter fanning on your collar bone. Lin would hit one of these slumps a million more times, like his own self deprecating routine. Without fail, though, you would he there, shouting your praise until the rest of the world joined in.

Rough quick translation

Isak: has sara stolen(?) your friends?
Sana: huh? No?
Isak: no okay, kidding
Fake fake fake.. girls… sara doesn’t like vilde..?
Sana: how do u know?
Isak: because she talks behind her back
Sana: to you?
Isak: mhm
Sana: you’re friends with sara?
Isak: we were dating
Sana: yeah.. true
How did you stand being with her?
Isak: nah.. you tell me … it wasn’t very sexual to put it that way …
mostly in the chat… i was more like a online pshycologist than a boyfriend. I should have gotten money for the time i spent on reading crap messages about russ friends and stuff .. couldn’t care less…
*starts talking about biology*

My step dad, who has been upper middle class his whole life, and has no concept of poverty, is like “ah. I see you are making a whopping ten (10) dollars an hour. You are completely self sustainable now. Here are all of the bills for you to pay, which you should be able to pay, because you have a job”. While my mother on the other hand, who (like myself) has spent most of her life in poverty (and also has a soul) has to literally sneak me money so I can afford to eat while if my step dad found out would be extremely pissed because “ah yes. Ten dollars an hour. Sustainable living.”

Ten

There are ten beer bottles sitting on his kitchen counter.

All of them are empty, lined up in rows of three with the odd man out lying on its side. He spins this one around, the label blurring as he leans his hip against the granite countertop.

The countertop they picked out together, not so long ago. Dark grey, modern and stylish, just like she wanted.

Around and around the green bottle spins until his eyes can’t take it anymore. He throws the bottle in the garbage can instead of the recycle bin. Partly because he’s almost a full case of beer deep and wasn’t really paying attention but also because she always insisted that they recycle as much as they could.

“It’s better for the environment,” he muses out loud to himself, his words slurring as he starts chucking the remaining beer bottles into the garbage, one by one.

She’s not here to yell at him anyways, so why the fuck should he care.

Nine

There are voicemails waiting for him when he wakes up the next morning.

“Bellamy, it’s your sister. What in the hell are you doing not answering your phone for days? Call me back!!”

“Bell? It’s Jasper. Just wanted to check up on you, man. Let me know how you’re doing.”

“Yo, It’s Murphy. Fuck that girl, let’s get drunk.”

“Hey, it’s Monty. I’m sure everyone is calling you but…we’re worried about you. Please let someone know if you’re okay.”

“Bell, honey? It’s mom. Please call me when you get this, your sister and I are worried about you. Love you.”

“Blake, it’s Miller. Octavia is freaking out man, hasn’t stopped calling me since yesterday. I know you’re hurting but…just please call someone back. Later.”

“Mr. Blake, it’s Professor Stanley. I just wanted to let you know that I received your email and am sorry to hear you won’t be able to speak in my class this week. Hope we can schedule something again soon.”

“God damn it, Bellamy Blake! If you don’t call me back, I’m going to tell mom about all the stupid shit you did in high school. And we both know you don’t want that hellfire to rain down upon you. Call. Me. Back!”

“Hey….Bell. It’s me. Look, I know we said we weren’t going to call each other but…I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for the way that we ended things. I know it was for the best but…I just…please don’t pull away from everyone. They all love you so much. And so do I. I’m sorry.”

He deletes all of them but the last one, sets his phone on that fucking grey countertop and hits the speaker button.

“….They all love you so much. And so do I.”

Her voice is broken but so is his heart so he listens to it a few more times until he feels like breaking his phone.

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