moms-who-smoke

Stop drop and DAB
I’m tagging people just for the hell of it! Let’s get stoned guys!
@high-honey-pie @highh-vagina @thankyoufortrippingwithme @the-weedsleys @thelittlefae @lameeejaneee @stoner-vogue @whospilledthebongwater @whodroppedtheblunt @bong-rips-nd-acid-trips @stonerjpeg @godshideouscreation @dabcandycannabis

Stay high my friends
🔥🌠💚✌

crimsonkoteto  asked:

Comic book girl. I'm pretty sure I'm sick but my manager is more sick than me so I gotta work. I just spent two hours sorting our comics boxes. I had them laid on a table, ready to be filed. I stop to help a customer. While I'm behind the counter, a hoard of crotchgoblins burst through my door and immediately slam into the table, scattering the comics across the floor. The mom, who was outside smoking, rushes in, apologizing profusely and drags her kids out. I got so angry I started crying.

i remember crying so hard my entire body shook. i remember my bestfriend holding my hair back as i vomited up the taste of you. i remember him wiping my cheeks when i asked why losing some dead beat guy was causing me so much pain. he sighed, and replied ‘hun, its supposed to hurt. you loved him. the thing with you dollface, is you make these dead beat boys your home because you never liked the four walls you live within, your mom who smoked too much, and your dad who never really cared made you feel homeless. youre hurting so much because youre a giver. you give what was never given to you. and trust me honey, one day a guy is going to walk into your life and take in everything you try to give him and love you for it. and when that happens you are going to be so happy this one broke your heart.’
—  i too am a giver, and i too will move on (a.j.)
Straight White Boy Problem #885

HUNTER came to my house STONED and my mom asked who was smoking weed!!!!!! i asked her how does she even know what weed smells like and she kinda laughed and walked away!! wtf! oh well I bought some time for hunter to take a shower. as long as he doesn’t take his clothes off in front of me again….

anonymous asked:

Melly, that entire Paper magazine article got me so confused. Where to even start? Gigi getting mentioned AGAIN, cool mom Zayn who smokes and parties too much, who likes to sing about sex, Zayn who yet again reminds us that he was oh so sad he couldn't dye his hair or have a beard in 1d, etc. But then "If guys find me attractive, then that's a cool thing as well." ??? why was this included? what is this? was it necessary?


Zayns album keeps falling down the charts but yet his wonderous team keeps doing the same crap they’ve been doing, having him give interviews where he promos g*gi , talks crap about 1direction,and forgets to wear a shirt. If a pr strategy isn’t working at what point do you switch it up to something different? I’m assuming zayn actually wants a music career , that is

So you would assume this second round of print media would be because he’s got two brand new singles to promote. One (Like I Would) is barely mentioned in either article and the other (Wrong) not mentioned at all, yet this mythical second album takes up space. It’s terribly unclear what they are trying to do. 

What’s confusing about Zayn’s print persona, is that it’s trying to be all things to their suggested demographics: Zayn’s sensitive, but he’s also sexual and shrewd. He’s “low key”, but he also wears Balmain leather jackets shirtless while the winds from the East blow on his well manicured nipples and flat ironed armpit hair. Zayn goes out and parties a lot, but he also doesn’t like to party at all and really just prefers a quiet night in with his supermodel girlfriend. 

The thing is, these articles all sound similar because they’ve been shaped BTS to have a similar result each time.

I think it’s time we have a teachable moment on this blog about why print media is so easy to control, and how that relates to Zayn and his Cool Mom Zayn persona.

As a backstory, before I came to these here tumblr webs and became the Melly all three of my followers* know and love, I worked for some years as a music journalist. Now, depending on the level the artist is at, you make certain concessions (beg shamelessly) to get them in your publication/site because you know they are going to bring traffic and press, and that translates to ad revenue, which translates to being able to smooth out money on a Las Vegas mattress and roll around in it, Indecent Proposal style. Our fair Zayn would be considered a Tier A artist, the most covetable of all. 

At minimum, those concessions would have manifested itself in the following ways:

1) His team would have sent over a list of questions that Zayn could NOT be asked. It varies from artist to artist, and can be anything from whether or not he likes pickles (he just really hates pickles - fuck you mass consumerism), to his hair or his religion. “But Melly,” you ask. “What if I wanted to be sassy and really ask Zayn about pickles?” Answer: You wouldn’t chance it.  The entertainment and music industry is rather small, so word of your pickle rebellion would travel far and wide and you’d end up interviewing winners at the county fair in perpetuity.

2) His publicists would have also given you talking points prior to the interview. Whether or not that comes in the form of a press kit or a conversation from one media hoe to another on mobile device, you’re guided about what you should be asking: “Zayn is working on his second album,” “He’s just learned to horseback ride with his girlfriend Gigi, he has a really funny story about that,” “He’s a little tired, he was just at your mom’s place,” etc. 

3) The artist has equally been media trained to within an inch of their  life. For every question that you’ve been informally propositioned to ask them, they’ve already been trained to answer. That very same horseback riding anecdote? Zayn practiced that with his publicist the last time he was in his office (he likes going there because they keep good snacks out). 

4) His team would have received final article approval. Maybe you didn’t wax poetic enough about  Zayn’s sexiness in the original draft, so they have you add a line about that. Maybe that anecdote about him thinking it’s cool if men find him sexy too is controversial, so you debate about that for several hours, but it ultimately gets left in. Enough space hasn’t been dedicated to his supermodel girlfriend, so you add more in about that. It’s a hassle, but you did it because you want access to that label and/or PR firm’s roster of other artists, and you do it because you don’t want to fuck it up. 

Me asking mom: kbtbb guys
  • Eisuke
  • Me: mom what do you think about thi-
  • Mom: he's frickin gorgeous
  • Me: well. Yeah good thing yo-
  • Mom: what's his name?
  • Me: eisuke ichinomiya. And yes i frickin love him. He's mine!
  • Mom: yeah yeah. he looks rich
  • Me: well yeah, he owns on of the most expensive hot-
  • Mom: i'm thinking of leaving your dad for him, that would be awesome
  • Me: mom!
  • Mom: jk kiddo
  • Soryu
  • Mom: this one looks like a normal businessman with that ordinary businessman hair and ordinary businessman suit.
  • Me: wait till you see him with his hair down *shows her*
  • Mom: gosh he's hot
  • Me: and he's not a businessman he's a mafia
  • Mom: what?mafia?!
  • Me: yeah he likes pointing guns to most p-
  • Mom: never buy his route ever.
  • Me: </b> but mom he's ho-
  • Mom: ever.
  • Baba
  • Mom: ew, i hate guys with long hair
  • Me: but he's a charming guy
  • Mom: but still eww
  • Me: he changed my thoughts about guys with long hair. Now i sort of lik-
  • Mom: eww...ewww...ewwwwwww. by the way he looks sort of....mysterious
  • Me: well he's a thief afterall
  • Mom: what? Double ewww
  • Me: *sigh*
  • Ota
  • Mom: this one's cute
  • Me: yeah he is...but he-
  • Mom: i like this one most. What does he work as?
  • Me: he's an artist
  • Mom: kay this one's mine
  • Me: but there's somethi-
  • Mom: what's his name?
  • Me: ota kisaki. You got to know tha-
  • Mom: don't steal him from me
  • Me: he treats YOU like a dog
  • Mom: nevermind. Go to the next guy
  • Mamo
  • Mom: he looks like a jerk
  • Me: he's not but he is a bit...uh...
  • Mom: see. What does he work as? A businessman?
  • Me: no, enough with the businessman work okay he's a cop
  • Mom: ......no.
  • Me: well he is!
  • Mom: then why does he smoke?
  • Me: uh.....who cares?
  • Mom: smoking is bad for your health and don't you dare buy his route ever again cause-
  • me: mom. Chill. It's just a game
  • *after that*
  • Me: like i said. Never judge a person by their looks mom
  • Mom: fine whatev. Oh and i made up my mind
  • Me: which do you like most??
  • Mom: that first guy...uh...eisuke rigt?
  • Me: mom. I thought you said you won-
  • Mom: changed my mind, let me borrow your phone some time
  • Me: mom!