mommyanddaughter

Dear mom,

When you were here I never understood why you told me you loved me as much as you did. The kisses on the forehead before work, grabbing my hand and kissing it as we drove in the car, calling me on your long days just to tell me you love me. I never understood why you did it. But now I know. There are 365 days in one year and I wasted every single one of them that we spent together. I never took the time to appreciate your love and let it flow through me like you let my love flow through you. I was your everything and I never took the time to realize that you were mine. You always told me I was your sunshine and I made you happy when skies were grey. Four thousand eight-hundred and two days of sunshine. But on the four thousandth eight-hundredth and third day there were only grey skies and I had no one to make me happy. When you left the sun stopped shining. Sometimes when I laugh or smile I think that that maybe the sun decided to shine again, but I know that the sun cannot shine when it has nothing to shine for. I feel as if there is a hole in my heart, in my body, in my soul and I know it is not the loss of you that causes it, but it is the loss of your love. There will never be a time that the hole is completely full but know that I promise to try and find the sun once again. Because you were the sun and you loved me. I must prove to myself that even though you left your love didn’t, that I didn’t leave.
Sincerely, your sunshine