I saw this quote a couple of days ago and it really hit home with me. We have to put work into our relationships every single day. Our babies are little plants that are just starting to grow and we have almost complete power over whether or not they flourish. Same with our marriages, no matter how long we’ve been together we have to keep working at it so that we don’t die out. It seems like something that should be obvious but when I think of my relationships with my kids looking like dead and withering plants it really stresses the importance. So today (and every day) my goal is to turn my most important relationships into big healthy flower gardens!
I wish every person could have the breastfeeding journey they want. And if that journey is to not do it all, I wish for them to have no anxiety or guilt over it.
I want every person to know that they are never alone in these trenches. There is so much help, support and information out there. Don’t listen to negative Nancy’s. Don’t listen to the Sanctimommys of the internet. Find tried and true professionals who get you, your personality and what it is you’re hoping to find in your journey.
Believe in yourself.
And remember that, no matter what happens, you are doing a great job and you are a wonderful mother.
Hell yes I’m about to toot my own horn. I’m proud as hell right now. Proud of myself and proud of my little girl. I did not cave.
At 14 weeks old, Blakely is so used to being held to go to sleep. She might nap for 10 mins at a time throughout the day, if you lay her down after she’s gotten to sleep being held. She still always seems so tired, never getting a full nap. I can’t get anything done this way. She does sleep close to 8 hours at night though after she’s put down in her sleeper.
I knew I had to start trying to let her get herself to sleep in her crib to nap. So today was the day. She started getting sleepy, barely holding her eyes open. I take her to her crib, turn her soother on, lay her down, watch her eyes shoot straight open, and walk out. She coos and lays there for a good 10 mins. Then she started crying. I did what’s called the “pause” at the door before you go in immediately, to make sure she wasn’t just going to stop after a second. Nope. And while I know people who use the cry-it-out method, I don’t. So I go in, shush her, pat her belly, and she calms down. I walk out again when she’s quiet. Maybe a minute later, cries again. Pause at the door, wait. Doesnt stop. Shush her, pat her belly, calm her. Leave. Cry. Calm her. Leave. Cry. Calm her. And every time I went in to calm her, you could see she was doing it to fight sleep. Her eyes were barely able to stay open and she’d smile so big up at me as I calmed her. It was so tough.
It took two hours. Two hours I listened to her cry, fighting sleep and wanting to be picked up. Then be perfectly fine. Two hours I fought the urge to grab her and rock her to sleep again because I knew this would be good for us both in the end. She can sleep better, hopefully longer, and I can get something done hopefully, as much as I love holding her. I was giving it one more shot before I picked her up. She’s crying, I go in to calm her, and I start singing our song to her. She quiets instantly, smiles, and I see her little eyes just slowly closing and drifting off to sleep. I wanted to cheer instantly. Two hours of torture for both of us and she was out!
She only slept 30 mins, but it was a proud 30 mins. And a lot longer than it would have normally been. It’s definitely progress. She woke up and cried a little, so I went to check on her, and instantly she was happy and awake. This is going to be so hard to do every time she’s ready to nap.. I really just hope it gets easier. Soon.
March 24, 2017 (Lilly is Officially 16 months old!)
IM IN COMPLETE BLISS RIGHT NOW!
Ben is running down the hallway and hiding then yells “LILLY!!!”
She’s in the living room and yells “DADA!!!!” and takes off running down the hallway to find him!
He jumps out to scare her, she SQUEALS in pure joy, and he chases her back to the living room!
This has been going on for 5 minutes now and my cheeks hurt from smiling so hard!
It’s been a busy day.
We woke up at 7.30, ate breakfast, cuddled on the sofa watching Peppa Pig (which infuriates me any time I have to watch it, unfortunately Arthur LOVES it) & then we got ready and set off to the hospital.
Visited husband, ate lunch with him and I took Arthur to get us both coffees which was incredibly difficult. I couldn’t leave him with husband as he was half way through an IV infusion which was making him feel quite ill. Arthur didn’t want to walk; yet didn’t want to be carried. He ran away from me down the corridor (he wanted me to chase him) whilst I was trying to juggle my bags, two coffees and the sandwich I’d bought for husbands lunch. Ended up carrying him like a ball under my arm in the lift and up onto the ward which he found hilarious (but as he laughed he wriggled). The whole thing was just impossible!
Spoke to Consultant about husband, they reckon he will be in for at least the next week but ideally he would stay in for at least two. Discussed physio and things I can do to help too and lung function which is greatly reduced. Husband usually sits at 80-82% lung function but it’s 60% at the moment.
I saw a women on the CF unit as I walked out of husbands room who was painfully thin and on oxygen and she looked so poorly and I had a flash of panic and an image of husband like that. It feels very frightening at the moment.
Then we found the medical museum next door to the hospital - I’ve always wanted to go and it was huge and brilliant and there were tons of interactive things for Arthur. Because we’ve paid today, we can go in as many times as we like for a year so I’m sure we will be going back next time we visit husband which will probably be tomorrow.
Walked back to the hospital to say bye to husband and we’ve just got home (it’s almost 6pm), Arthur’s eating his dinner and I’m trying not to fall asleep on the sofa.
I’m fantasising about getting into my bed. I cannot wait.
Oz having a cat nap in the sunshine. I had to close the curtain so he’d sleep longer.
My aunt went to Florida and got him a Disney shirt. I was so excited. It’s something I’ll be saving forever. It’s not just me that loves it though, he gets happy when I put it on him. It must be so comfy.