This episode literally broke me (Im still crying mom)
Lets star with two parts (longy post)
A new episode, new breathtaking moments and character development, This chapter literally made me cry…. I was wondering since the beggining how Yuuri will do in the program w/o Victor, and what we see is…
The first, its a troubled Yuuri, I was really holding until this part came, the expression, you can feel his uneasiness, fear, doubt, this wasnt the Yuuri who gave us a perfect SP, it was again a uncertain Yuuri, but now he was confident he could do it, netherless he wasnt thinking about his program, his head was in the other part of the world,,,
He then remembers every moment him and Victor spent together (good or bad), Yuuri really wanted to have Victor with him, however thats not the case , and he feels uneasy, thoughs clouding his vision…
Yuuri knows that his program wanst his , was theirs, they did it together and , thats the moment where his starts giving a good performance c: . BUT This doenst end here. There was something on Yuuris program that itched me, for example this words:
Since, episode 7 (#blessed), we know that Yuuri doesnt believe that Victor will leave him, and that Victor wouldnt leave. whether he wins or not. But then, others words of Yuuri contradict his actions and expressions, and that confuse me
He says “Ill be done” ,this means that Yuuri still has doubts about whether Victor will leave. He himself says it like he wants it, something like when he wins, Victor and him will part in different ways (tho, before, he demands Victor to stay by his side) , I know that Yuuri still works in his confidence and needs constant reassurance to know if what he doing is good, but what he is thinking is like pushing Victor, to not get attached.
Maybe, this is a way to defend himself (and oh boy, I know that feeling), not wanting to hold onto someone, fearing that they may dissapear leaving you all alone again (I know thats not the case, we have family, friends, but when a certain someone leaves you, you feel wrong, u wonder “what did you do?” “whats was now the mistake”?) Yuuri knows that hes more confident, but he fears, he is scared to get too attached, that he will lose a special person, so he thinks to let go of Victor, when the Grand Prix ends. But, everything changes when Yuuri sees him in the airport, Victor waiting for him worried, both of them running towards each other, and hugging shameless. Yuuri realices “its too late you are already close, hes close, he is by my side” and he doesnt fear anymore, getting attached isnt bad anymore, is safe, is good, it feels fine. And yuuri knows it by the way Victor recieved him, with open arms saying “I was waiting for you”
So this stament comes as naturally, as what Yuuri feels truly, he asks this because he knows Victor wouldnt say no. Also, bc Victor and him want to be together (with GP or not, with figure skating or not), He’s literally asking demanding “Stay by my side and never leave me”
And Victor’s answer, just tears him, not only because Victor wants to see Yuuri to skate more, but its a form of saying “Dont worry anymore, I will stay by your side, I want to stay with you, I wish to stay with you” Victor doenst feel obliged by Yuuri, and Yuuri knows that, so he cries, happy, relieved and the two of them prepared to win the GPF.
I like saying that chapter 7 was a display of their pure and untouchable love, and chapter 8 of realizations, tears, difficulties that was surpassed by their love.
As ordered by @castrokinky, I’ve created a post reflecting on my time this past weekend.
1. Your favorite kinky/sexual moment with me (@castrokinky)- My absolute favorite moment was our second scene of the weekend, where I was on the fuck bench and you were conducting impact play on my back/ass. I know it may be strange to say so, but it’s my favorite moment because you made me cry. You are the first to make me truly let go and shed tears in the middle of a scene, and with your encouragement and love, you helped me reach the end of the scene in bliss. It was also the first time where I briefly paused a scene to ask for a hug, at which point you gave me the strongest and most loving hug you could muster.
2. Your favorite non-kinky/non-sexual moment with me (@castrokinky)- Our “Date” on Saturday, where we spent the morning at Mr. S and went out to lunch afterwards. Being able to spend one on one time out and about with you was an absolute delight, and it allowed us to just relax and simply be in each other’s company. Not to mention that the food we had at Harvey’s was absolutely delicious and showed that ‘true minds think alike’. In that time, I felt so much love and affection from you, I honestly didn’t want it to end. But at least we both agreed that this was only the first of many more dates to come.
3. Your favorite moment with (@whisperpup) - I have to say that it was a tie between submitting to Whisper during the very last scene, and every morning/night we were able to simply lay in bed naked and be on our phones together. This weekend was the first time I was able to truly submit to Whisper, not just sexually but kink-wise as well. I’ve never really put much thought to submitting to a man younger than myself, but with him it felt natural. It also felt natural being with him in bed at night/morning on our phones. Like we truly were brothers, laughing at whatever funny posts we find and simply enjoying each other’s company.
4. Your favorite moment with (@migikun12) - Another tie, I’d have to say between the moments where we danced and when he came to say goodbye. Dancing with him, outside and within the Twerk-Off, was absolutely wonderful. It was simply so much fun being able to dance and laugh with someone like @migikun12. And as for his goodbye, as rushed as it was it was beautiful. Partially from the love that exuded from that moment, but also because he gave me a leather rose with petals colored in blue, white, black with a “<3 Nerd” written on a petal. When I saw it, I was awestruck and breathless, I simply loved it! It meant so much to receive it from him, especially given how much closer we’ve gotten this past weekend.
5. Your favorite moment with Max - Our time together was limited, but I do love the moment after the Twerk Off where he was relaxing on the couch, and was jamming out to/singing along to “Here Comes A Thought”. During that time, I was fortunate to hear him sing a little, and my does he have a voice. I could listen to it all day! The song is also one of my favorites, and to hear it sung from someone as wonderful as Max… How could I not include this moment as a favorite? I just hope I get to hear him sing more in the future!
6. Who’s your Daddy? Hands down @castrokinky, for as long as he desires me to be his boy, sub, and son.
Final Thoughts - This weekend was truly one to remember. From beginning to end, I felt nothing but happiness and love from the people I feel blessed to call my kink family. As difficult as our time apart has been, it’s only made the love we share with each other grow. And it was all to celebrate this incredible man who has given and taught all of us so much. I love you all, so damn much… And I can’t wait till the next time we all get to be with each other again.
scrolling through the women’s march tag and really seeing the magnitude of the moment made me start crying
seeing a united wave of people standing together for the marginalized just makes me happy and hopeful for our future. the usa may have a rotten orange leading their nation but the people are not passively accepting it and thousands across the world stand with you