• Showering when my husband is home: A stroll through the deepest existential corners of the mind. Who am I? What is the meaning of life? Time is an illusion.
  • Showering when I'm the only parent home: An Olympic event I have never trained for and can't possibly be fast enough at, where, at any point, someone may sound an air horn signaling that I've been disqualified and need to exit the field immediately.

Realized I haven’t posted a picture of my babe in far too long, he’s just as cute as ever ❤ Little turtle was sanitized prior to touching the babe, he was a gift from Rocky’s niece since he got the new car. It’s sooo nice, haven’t bought the travel system but he said tomorrow morning we can go get it.

He’s 36+3 today, still on 4 liters which sucks but hopefully they can do a trial this weekend or next week to see if he can come down. I actually woke up to a crying baby too! Which irritated me later on because he shouldn’t have been crying for so long. I was dog tired from working all day and I heard his alarm go off, the lesser warning kind, and him making whiny noises. I woke up but was so tired I fell right back asleep thinking the nurse would tend to him.

30 minutes later alarm is still going off, he’s in full screaming crying mode and I jump out of bed as I hear the real alarm go off as he starts breathing 15. Go to his crib and he’s totally unswaddled with his arms and legs flailing around and his face is beet red. The nurse hasn’t come in the whole time so I try to calm him down and get him reswaddled with his pacifier and 30 minutes later he’s finally calmed down enough to fall asleep. I get back onto the couch with Rocky and just as I’m about to fall asleep his nurse walks in asking what he was crying about and starts unswaddling him and wakes him back up. I wanted to tear my hair out 😭 Then I was watching her do his cares from the bed and she didn’t do his exercises which pissed me off since they help with mineralization of the bones which he needs. I missed her name but next time we go I’ll ask the charge nurse about removing her. The first nurse I’ll have to kick but if she can’t do her job then she can’t take care of my son.

We had a much better night lastnight!
Although Birdie had a minor cluster of waking up screaming and crying “fits”, it was nothing compared to the two nights before and everyone got much more sleep!
I was also able to get her to stay alseep laying down which my back was so grateful for.
Having to hold her upright for her to be able to sleep, is so uncomfortable and almost impossible for me to sleep while doing so.
Her cough this morning is worse but more productive.
She’s finally coughing stuff up.
I’m going to repeat the warm bath, Hylands nighttime mucus + cold relief, ibuprofen, add in Tylenol, Vicks on feet with socks and her humidifier every night until whatever’s she’s got, has vacated her little body.

Taking care of yourself after birth

It’s called the fourth trimester for a reason.
Taking care of your new love is a 24/7 job. Even though they are a sleepy newborn, the stress you’ll feel can be overwhelming. The first week Maya and I were home, I could probably have gone days without eating, drinking, changing my clothes, or showering.
It can be tempting to let all your self care go down the drain because your little one needs you so much. But please try and avoid that. Buy tons of filling granola bars and keep bottles of water by your bed. Take your medicine. Make sure your keeping up with your care for any tears and stitches. Ask someone to watch the babe so you can shower, do some laundry, and relax for a few minutes. Your baby needs you to take care of yourself so you can take care of them the best you can.

What mothers think while breastfeeding in public

> please stop crying.
> Omg I’m so nervous.
> if you’d stop putting your hand in your mouth, my nipple could go in there.
> no one’s staring…
> yes they are – she’s screaming her head off.
> should I try to use a blanket to cover?
> ugh, I can’t see what I’m doing now!
> ugh, why did you unlatch?!

What mothers do NOT think while breastfeeding in public.

> let me lure in all the unfaithful, sinful husbands with my leaking, milk-filled breasts 😈