momblog

This tiny princess was welcomed to the world on Friday, December 16th, at 9:26am via emergency c-section. She weighted 2lbs and was 13 inches long (tall girl!).

She was only 25 weeks, 4 days along.

My life has been violently turned completely upside down, but we are just so happy to have this tiny angel in our life and are amazed at the tight grip she already has on our hearts.

If you could spare a prayer or two for her, we would be ever grateful. There is a long, painful road ahead of us…

❤️

I’m disgusted with parents who have a lower standard for their kids. Like, you don’t walk around with food dried on your face from hours ago, you don’t let snot drip into your mouth??? You wouldn’t want to walk around with shit on your ass but your kids can???? I’m just so confused, I don’t get it 🙄🙄🙄

“That’s my book favowite.”

The Stranger–Albert Camus

Never too early for your toddler to confront psychological trauma and the violent absurdity of existence! 📚📖🤓😻👣🌞⛱

📬

Dear significant others,
When your pregnant girlfriend, wife, spouse, hoe down the block tells you that she is sore, that her body aches, do not tell her that yours does too. We’re not looking to compare battle wounds, we’re looking for a fucking back rub. We understand that you’ve been at work all day, and no, we haven’t moved from the couch in the past 12hrs other than to pee and eat unnecessary amounts of Doritos, but while you were sitting in your nice comfy desk chair stapling papers, we grew a mother fucking kidney, and that shit takes a lot out of you. We sympathies with you having to be on your feet all day, we really do, so we truly do understand that you may be sore too. But, there is a significant fucking difference in every day soreness and the soreness inflicted upon you when you’re carrying a rapidly growing human inside of you. Do you want to know what it’s like to carry this tiny human inside of us, that is constantly growing, and pushing our organs up and out of the way? It feels like we’re a mother fucking werewolf who’s bones are cracking and flesh is ripping at the unveiling of a full fucking moon! The shit you see in horror movies, ya that very same painful looking shit, is what it feels like when our beautiful child slams their little body into our sides. So the next time the carrier of your child complains that they are sore, keep your yap shut and rub her back.
Sincerely,
Every mother fucking pregnant woman breathing

We took you miniature golfing for the first time today. I know it’s winter and it’s cold. It was cold but it wasn’t too bad. 49 degrees! Since you love going around with a stick and swinging it at things I thought you might like golfing. Hockey too maybe. You spend a lot of time off course swinging the club at the left over snow. I guess we’ll wait until you’re a little bit older before we take you again. Hopefully by then you’ll be able to follow directions and have a better understanding of the game. It was fun anyways. You did manage to hit the ball in the hole a few times with my help.

So my milk's drying up.

For over a week now, I can tell I’m pumping less and less, but more than that, I can nurse her for an hour and she’s not satisfied. I know she isn’t cluster feeding. She just wasn’t getting enough. Then she got to where she would latch, suck a few times, unlatch, and scream while she rooted around for it again. Over and over. Finally I’d give in and fix a bottle, which she took perfectly. I didn’t want to give up trying because I felt so guilty over the possibility of not being able to breastfeed anymore. I have been stressed, frustrated, and just worn out over these last few weeks. Not even just trying to deal with it when it comes to her nursing, but the mental battle I have had with myself over it.

I waited for her 2 month visit on the 8th so I could talk to her pediatrician and see what she said. Based on everything, she said it sounds like it is drying up and that while she’s an advocate for breastfeeding, just getting the baby fed is always best. She said how much it has stressed me out and I’ve worried over it isn’t going to do any good for me or baby. So, I basically have no choice except to swap to formula. I have nothing against formula. My brother and I had to be formula fed and we’re perfectly fine. Babies who are formula fed are perfectly fine. I’ve always been all whatever, fed is best, but the bond I have with her while breastfeeding and knowing she depends on me, I wasn’t quite ready for that to go away yet.