mom no no mom no mom pls stop no

Magnus: so i kidnapped two guys and later they died purely because i was curious abt something
Fandom: lol love u magnus!!!!!!! it wasnt ur fault they died!!!! u did ur best!!!!!!
Lucretia: i was out voted, and what happened next was a terrible mistake i didnt even want to be a part of, and i did everything i could to make it right again despite that and im so sorry for not being completely honest. i am so sorry. i kust didnt want you to know you were responsible for deaths of thousands and thousands of people and wanted you to feel like heroes instead. im so sorry for my mistakes.
Fandom: hmm….still sounds fishy……….i mean she stole the baby voidfish…………..like…….obviously she cant be ALL GOOD right? like………..shes not the big bad but that doesnt mean i can trust her yet……….
me: yeah okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay

my mom was like “hey, december starts this week so that means your birthday is coming up!!” and i was so surprised and then lowkey happy because then this gives me the opportunity to buy smth for myself from my amazon wishlist and use my birthday as an excuse muahahahahahahaha

as a last text post before i disappear for another week i just need to say that i had a mini-toddler like breakdown today (including fake sobs to express my inner anguish) because i’ll never be able to afford my dream wedding venue, which is ironically categorized as “affordable.”

the signs according to my aries mom
  • aries: god perfectly crafts anyone born under aries. plus, we have robert downey jr.
  • taurus: they're not worthy of bordering my sign
  • gemini: i don't care if chris evans is a gemini, they're all irrelevant
  • cancer: GOD, NO. STOP.
  • leo: i'm not really allowed to give an opinion here...
  • virgo: no
  • libra: i can't decide which is worse, libra or gemini
  • scorpio: wouldn't ever want to get on their bad side. they're my partners in crime, though
  • sagittarius: i wish you would have been born a sagittarius... life would have been so much better. you would be so much more fun
  • capricorn: oh my god
  • aquarius: some of the best people i've met were aquarians
  • pisces: someone needs to stop them

actors that deserve lead roles » shin sung rok

stop fucking yelling at your kids for the most ridiculous shit and try talking to them as if they’re people instead holy fuck