mom and dad... never mind

You will understand someday when you are a parent yourself.
— 

basically every emotionally abusive parent ever

And then the cycle starts again with another round of douchebags raising children.

archiveofourown.org
Trolling Joker - sparkly_butthole - Mass Effect [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

        “Oh, yuck! You guys are calling each other ‘love’ and ‘honey’ now?! So what’s next, kids? Which one of you is the dad and which is the mom? Oh you know what, never mind… it probably means shit I’m better off not knowing.”

         Shepard got that mischievous grin, the one he saved for giving Kaidan hell, and Kaidan groaned when he saw it. Couldn’t he wait thirty goddamn seconds? “Well, since you’re asking…”

         “… John, no…”

         “… Kaidan is definitely the mother.”

         Joker sighed. Yep, way more information than he wanted.


Just posted over on AO3. Really silly stuff. Hope you enjoy reading it.

Dad vs tumblr
  • Dad: why are you always on your phone?
  • Me: because Ereri dad.
  • Dad: huh?
  • Me: tumblr. You wouldn't understand.
  • Dad: tumblr is for porn.
  • Me: only if you look for it.
  • Dad: so what's Ereri?
  • Me: my favorite ship.
  • Dad: like a boat?
  • Me: never mind.
  • Dad: mom said I needed to bond with you more, so what is a ship?
  • Me: quit trying, dad.
  • He walks away.