overwatch headcanon

torbjorn has a bullet vibrator directly on top of his prostate and whenever he activates molten core he just turns the vibrator on

This might be the greatest screenshot I’ve ever taken in any game ever.

We were in the middle of molten core, when the instance servers for argent dawn crashed. It ended up dropping everyone through the world below alterac mountains, with this as the result. It wasn’t just our raid either, it was the entire server.

Absolutely hysterical. Never forget the corpse tornado.

~Maybe I might love you.–

My piece for the @hq-ghibli-zine !!! Unfortunatly, this zine ended up falling through, but I’m still really incredibly grateful to have been able to get to know so many fantastic writers and artists through the process!!! One specific writer in particular ( who I got super lucky to be paired for a collab with, I’m looking at you @sweetferretxd ) wrote the amazing fic ‘Stand by Me’ which, I’ve already lost count how many days straight I have been reading, I actually have it open right now in another tab so that I can read it again and I have zero regrets!!! I just feel so warm it’s as if I’m melting into the earth’s molten hot core!!!

–Maybe I might love you.~

Total Mayhem hero tier list

Genji: no. dashing around everywhere and getting sword every 20 seconds sounds cute but doesnt mean much when everyone has at least 400 health

McCree: no. sure, you have flashbang and roll every four seconds, but you’re still squishy as hell and actually need to aim. also your ult will get you killed even faster than usual since you need to lock on for twice as long

Pharah: kinda? 99% of the time all 12 players will be on the point so you can just mash shift until your head hits the skybox and click randomly and be basically guaranteed to hit something. also your ult is really good with zarya’s, and zarya is mandatory. definitely try it if you have a mercy

Reaper: eh. you do decent damage and your ult is okay but there are better options out there. maybe worth a shot

76: kinda? aimbot is decent and healing station is a godsend, but you still have to aim. also your sprint doesnt benefit from the 75% cooldown reduction which sucks

Sombra: almost mandatory. hacking someone removes the entire benefit of the game mode and usually results in them dying. Apagandoing the luces is one of the only two ways to actually end the five minute overtimes and follow up on black holes. you will win games

Tracer: ehhhh. you basically never die but that’s about it and literally half of the cast also never dies and actually does something useful while theyre at it. pass

Bastion: what the fuck are you doing

Hanzo: kinda. scatter is still bullshit against 2x hp targets, especially when you get it 4x as fast. also dragons are probably the best followup to black hole

Junkrat: tentative yes. you can basically fly with your mine and you get tire literally every 15 seconds and it’s really fucking good

Mei: meh. stalls the point forever but so does over half the cast and blizzard is way less annoying than you’d think when it takes three or four headshots to secure a kill

Torb: troll tier. your armor is useless and good luck actually upgrading your turret, but a 1000 hp Molten Core every 30 seconds is nothing to sneeze at

Widowmaker: please do not

D.Va: sure. defense matrix still runs out normally but you can boost all over the place like a fiend and get bomb stupid fast

Orisa: troll tier. 2 second cooldown on shields and a team wide damage boost every 20 seconds while having your Shift up basically constantly. have fun

Rein: not really. if you want shields use orisa and if you want a setup ult use zarya

Roadhog: noob trap tier. 1200 hp with a 300hp self heal and a hook every 2 seconds sounds nice but you can’t actually oneshot anything and serve as the biggest ult battery in a mode where everything is already an ult battery

Winston: MANDATORY. 1000 base hp. literally 1 second cooldown on jump, which you might recognize as the time it takes to land after jumping. 4 second cooldown on the most annoying shield in the game. if for some reason you ever end up below 200 hp (unlikely) just press q and go up to 2000 hp and shove everyone off the point (this is the other way to end overtime). even his tickle cannon is godlike since everyone is always bunched up. if you don’t have a winston you will lose

Zarya: MANDATORY. 2 second cooldowns on self-shield and teammate shield. 800 hp, 400 of which regenerates. you will literally never not be at 100 energy. toblestien every 30 seconds. melts thru DVa, protects healers, synergizes with winston. the only downside is that you NEED a teammate to follow up on grav or nothing will die, but whatever. if you do not have a zarya you will lose

Ana: MANDATORY. the cooldown on your sleep is so low you can permastun someone until they get kicked for inactivity (seriously). the cooldown on grenade is so low you can nade yourself repeatedly and have every successive one get the heal bonus benefit from the previous one. nano every 15 seconds. keeps aforementioned Zarya and Winston alive forever. good character

Lucio: pretty good. everyone is bunched up so you can heal a lot really easily. that’s about it but that’s all you really need

Mercy: MANDATORY. remember back when the game first launched and Mercy was mandatory in every single game because you had res every single team fight? this is like that but you’re rezzing tanks with 1000 hp every 30 seconds. heroes literally never die

Symmetra: cute but ultimately kinda bad

Zen: dude. he gets no benefit from the cooldown reductions and has to aim. why would you do this to yourself

Mars 🔥

like the molten core of the earth
there is an inferno
flickering away inside
swirling and crackling fire light
flames of glory
spinning like a storm
when we enter this place
we can
achieve the impossible
incinerate dreams by night
and paint the skyline
buckets of gasoline and guillotine
cosmic matchsticks and candles
from a galaxy blaze
so go inward and
ignite the fire of dance, power
creativity, passion, love and


For their 10th Anniversary, World of Warcraft released a level 100 version of Molten Core for players to raid once more. Cue players who never played Vanilla WoW going, “Wtf this is too hard, we’re wiping on trash, why do we need this many tanks, I can’t believe this takes almost four hours, etc”.

All the while I’m in the back slowing rocking back and forth whispering maddeningly to myself…

“None of you understand…this used to take…FIFTEEN HOURS…”