I want more lady Rogues I want more obscure Rogues I want DC to revisit Becky Albright and Molly Randall and the concept of a Mistress of Fear and I want to see blonde girls teaming up with the Mad Hatter and making him rob jewelry stores for them and I want Query and Echo save Riddler’s ass more times than he can count and I want Duela Dent planning crimes just to show Batman that she can stop them too and I want Magpie to fight Catwoman because they both tried to steal the same priceless gem and I want to see Peyton Riley fighting Harley Quinn for her right to be the Ventriloquist and I want obscure female Rogues that don’t have the hots for Batman or work as sidekicks to other Rogues I want to see obscure female Rogues that are sick of being treated of victims and are just as ruthless as the boys and take advantage of lonely hearts to suit their own ends but I also do not want DC to come anywhere near them because it will go horribly wrong
Could you possibly elaborate on the whole "Farkle discovering the patriarchy" situation? Thank you ever so much.
omfg okay do I need to put a warning for ~biological feminine situations~ or can people be mature? They can? Rad.
I’m setting this in 10th grade but before Farkle and Riley start dating.
Okay so it’s a normal Saturday night, Farkle’s home alone and is just chilling on his laptop. It’s like…Maybe 8:30
He was alone on a Saturday because The Flannels were on some away game or something and Riley and Maya had the Matthews’ apartment to themselves allll weekend and made a big deal about having a Girls Weekend
So suddenly he gets a text from Riley right
“How much do you love us??”
So he just sighs and responds “What are you gonna make me do now?” because the girls only use that line when they want something lol
“MASSIVE EMERGENCY. CODE RED. My whole family is gone.”
“Yeah, I know, that’s why you’re having a girls night???”
“MY MOM TOOK THE LAST BOX OF PADS WITH HER BC OUR CYCLE’S SHOULDN’T BE STARTING FOR TWO MORE WEEKS BUT THEY CAME EARLY AND WE’RE GONNA DIE”
“Literally what are you talking about?”
“Code Red??? Periods, dumbass. We have been caught off guard and are now trapped and dying. Can you run to the drugstore for us?”
“Maya says to tell you that if you don’t save us she’ll come to your house and free bleed on everything you love.”
“If she can get to my house she can get to a CVS???”
“You were so much more chivalrous in middle school.”
“12 year old me would’ve fainted in the tampon isle and you know it.”
“Farkle I cannot just bleed all over my house all weekend. Be the hero I know you are.”
“We’ll let you sleepover and stay for girls weekend??? We have the ability to order you a pizza with banana peppers and extra garlic right now.”
“If you’re trying to bribe me right now then I better be receiving a DAMN GOOD mani-pedi in the morning.”
“Of course! So you’ll do it???”
“I’m literally already halfway to the drugstore calm down woman I left the second you said Code Red😂😂😂😂“
“Wait what??? Then why were you pretending you weren’t gonna help???”
“Because now I’m getting pizza and a mani-pedi??😂“
“…I hate you but Maya seems to be more grudgingly impressed.”
“I tend to have that effect on a lot of people.”
“She says to the boy who’s supposedly saving her life. Okay, are there like specifics I need to look for here or…?”
So she gives him the specifics bc Maya likes tampons but Riley feels safer in pads because everyone is different~
Okay so Farkle gets to the store and he’s looking for the isle right
And he finds it and
“wtf Riley why are these boxes like 10 bucks each???”
“Oh don’t worry Farkle we’ll pay you back when you get here!!”
“No??? You will not??? Omfg do you actually have to spend $10 dollars every month on pressed cotton or whatever it is???”
“Actually I usually go through two packs each month so $20. But I can just get the other pack later it’s fine.”
“20 DOLLARS??? BECAUSE YOU AREN’T PREGNANT???”
“…Farkle darling calm down.”
“I am calm but???? This is so dumb????”
“Listen I fully agree with that sentiment but if you could hurry up a little that’d be great??”
Except now our young Minkus is looking around the rest of the ~Lady Aisle~
And he’s seeing all the razors and shampoo and conditioner and shave gel and deodorant and everything else and he’s like…wtf
“Riley was is EVERYTHING so overpriced in this aisle????”
“Because it’s the women’s aisle???? Our lives are overpriced????”
“Bruh did you really not know about this???”
“Is this a common thing holy shit??”
“ARE YOU FINALLY DISCOVERING THE PATRIARCHY????”
“Possibly???? I don’t know????”
“FARKLE THIS COULD BE A BREAKTHROUGH. OH BOY.”
“Why am I only noticing this weird pricing now tho???”
“You’re a white boy who’s part of the 1% sweetie the patriarchy exists for you.”
“But no babe it’s always been like this???”
“Like?? Everything is cheaper in the men’s aisle how does that make sense to anyone??”
“WHAT THE FUCK”
“Those tampons you’re buying are taxed too”
“They’re viewed as a luxury product or something idk man.”
“BUT???? YOUR UTERINE LINING IS SHEDDING??? YOU CANNOT CONTROL THAT???”
“WE ARE AWARE”
“FARKLE IT’S SO EXPENSIVE TO HAVE A VAGINA I CAN NOT EVEN BEGIN.”
And then Riley is just telling him all this shitty stuff and Farkle is just standing in this aisle in a drug store getting his ass educated and he’s getting more and more frustrated and pissed off omfg
Like people walking down the aisle are lowkey getting afraid they just see this 15 year old boy texting furiously fast with a huge scowl on his face and sometimes his eyebrows will shoot up in surprise only to quickly knit themselves back together in anger
Riley’s listing everything she and Maya can think of he’s standing there for like 10 minutes omfg
“How much underwear can you get with $50???”
“Like???? A lot???? Packs of 5 only cost like 3 bucks????”
“I went to Arie the other day with a $50 gift card and I was able to purchase exactly 1 bra and 2 pairs of underwear.”
“W H A T.”
“THONGS ARE THE LEAST AMOUNT OF FABRIC REQUIRED BTW”
“THIS IS SO STUPID AND I HATE EVERYONE INVOLVED”
Maya and Riley are just. screaming back at home bc finally someone is getting this
But eventually it gets to a point where they gotta be “Kay Farkle we sent you out 20 minutes ago we REALLY need the stuff now”
“SEE??? YOU CAN’T CONTROL IT! THIS IS A MEDICAL THING WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???”
“Honey I know and when you get here we can scream about it in person and then Maya and I can give you all different examples of patriarchal capitalism and the 3 of us can spend the night in blissful righteous fury like we were always meant to I promise but please calm down enough to buy the goods??”
“What else can there be besides what you’ve spent the last 10 minutes ranting to me about holy shit???”
“Like…They make girls pants with fake pockets so they can sell us handbags.”
“Maya and I can think of more examples while you’re on your way here okay pumpkin? Will that make you feel better?”
“What would make me feel better is knowing my two best friends don’t have to overpay because of their gender???”
“Well, hate to break it to you honey, but that’s been going on for a while. For literally all women. I’m sure the pay gap doesn’t help the situation either.”
“I AM SO ENRAGED ON YOUR BEHALF RIGHT NOW HOLY SHIT”
And now Riley’s just sending a barrage of texts like “Farkly take a deep breathe”, “Sweetheart just hurry up okay” stuff like that but he’s not even opening them this is the first time he has like 6 ignored texts from Riley Matthews but now he’s busy
He gets what he came here for- and grabs two extra boxes so he could save them a later trip like Riley mentioned- and now he’s rushing around the store right
He gets like 3 cartons of ice cream omfg cookie dough and mint chocolate chip and vanilla. He grabs a box of tissues and a DVD of ‘The Proposal’ on sale
He gets a big bag of m&m’s, a huge Hershey’s Special Dark bar, and a couple packs of those over priced Pepperidge Farm dark chocolate chip cookies omfg
He also gets some motrin and a 2 liter bottle of that super sugary blue raspberry soda that looks like it’s 98% percent chemicals and is the girls’ guilty pleasure
Slams it all down at the register and it’s a girl ringing him up, she looks like she’s maybe 20, she just sees all this and sees the anger in Farkle’s eye’s and smiles sadly and nods at him omfg
He nods back as he takes his bags and she fucking salutes him as he walks out of the store
Okay so the girls are in the apartment desperately texting Farkle because the food they ordered just got here and they can’t keep it up with the toilet paper stuffing much longer they have to change that shit every few minutes
Suddenly Riley gets a text from Farkle and she’s hoping it’s gonna say ‘buzz me up’ but instead:
“HOLY SHIT I JUST ALMOST GOT MUGGED I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN”
So they’re screaming in panic because their pet dork was in trouble and they can’t help???
“FARKLE ARE YOU SERIOUS???”
“100% THE GUY PULLED ME INTO AN ALLEY AND SLAMMED ME INTO A WALL AT KNIFE POINT OMFG”
“THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING??? ARE YOU OKAY???”
“I’M LAUGHING BECAUSE HE TOOK ONE LOOK INSIDE MY BAGS AND SAID, “OH. SORRY BRO, GO SAVE YA GIRL.”😂😂😂😂“
“F U C K”
He’s rushing to the apartment and sure he’s shaken up but he’s laughing. Riley’s staring at his messages with her mouth hanging open in shock and Maya’s on the floor laughing omfg
Riley turns to Maya and starts to say “He’s gotta be joking about this, right?” when immediately Farkle kicks the door open
His jacket is ripped and his hairs messed up. His nose is bleeding looks broken and there are a few small cuts the look like they definitely could’ve come from a knife omfg
But he puffs out his fucking chest and tosses all the bags onto the couch and just yells “I. P R O V I D E.”
The girls are shrieking with hysterics omfg
Once they get situated so they’re no longer free bleeding they try to clean Farkle up a little bit and Maya makes a crack like “This is what happens when you become aware of the patriarchy” omg
They’re also extremely grateful for everything he went out of his way to buy and are trying to pay him back and he’s not hearing it omfg
“Farkle this bill goes over 100 dollars we’re paying you back” “If you try I’d just use the money to buy you more shit okay leave it alone.”
They finally give up lol
They can’t get his nose to stop bleeding tho and suddenly Riley gasps in realization and throws a fucking tampon at him
He groans but finds it actually works quite well
Maya took a picture of him and he flipped off the camera lol
Okay so Riley’s like ‘scream about patriarchal capitalism now or later?’ and they look at the giant mountain of food they have- the girls ordered two pizzas, cheesy bread, and garlic knots, plus everything Farkle had brought lol.
Farkle just sighs and says “Pass me the Goddamn cheesy bread and get Ryan Reynolds beautiful face on the television pronto, it’s been a long fucking night.”
“Sweetheart it’s been, like, 40 minutes…”
“Long. Fucking. Night.”
So they settle in for a night trying to relax while watching romcoms and eating way more than they should lol
Maya gets all the screenshots of Riley’s convo with Farkle and jokingly posts them, and the picture of him she took, online and titles it ‘Farkle Minkus Discovers The Patriarchy And Immediately Gets Mugged’ lmao
She puts her phone away for the rest of the night and doesn’t think about it again as she and her two best friends cuddle with each other and try to eat themselves to death
So the next morning Riley and Maya are doing all their Girls Day activities they already planned- spa, movies, mani-pedis, they were trying to be super cliché you know- except now they have Farkle with them lol
They don’t mind having him there at all and as worked up as he got last night, some relaxation could potentially save his life rn
So like halfway throughout the day, they’ve stopped at a Starbucks before heading to the movies, Maya realizes she hasn’t checked her phone all day
So she pulls it out and
She has so many notifications??? wth
She checks what going on and realizes with a gasp. Holy shit. The post with all the screenshots went viral.
She didn’t even tell Riley and Farkle she posted them in the first place omfg she’s trying to explain this to them
It’s literally already become a meme. People are using the picture of beaten up, middle finger throwing, scowling Farkle with a tampon sticking out of his nose as a reaction meme h o l y s h i t
Some people are just quoting some of the things he said for meme joke purposes
The three of them are just quietly screaming in Starbucks omfg
It progressively gets bigger omfg
Like some news outlets are talking that it shed a great light on sexism and shit
And how teenage boys/some men in general can be oblivious to things like this until it literally slaps them in the face
Also everyone just found his reaction very amusing and a little sweet lol
So yeah like it eventually dies down but it was definitely a thing for a while omfg
All his selfies on Instagram were suddenly full of comments “HE PROVIIIIDES” lol
When Farkle grows up and gets into politics he bans the tax on feminine products lmao
So yeah that’s the time Farkle got his ass educated, got mugged, and then the OT3 accidently started a meme
Now, word of warning, I have not slept in like…over 24 hours. I didn’t really sleep on the 13th and then I stayed up all night writing this, so there’s a very good chance it’s terrible??? If that’s the case just hit me up for a free headcanon or something once I’m well rested lol.
(Also, what the hell I’ve already noticed FF.net messing up my formatting goodbye cruel world)
Plot: Riley and Farkle just can’t seem to get Valentine’s Day right over the years. Goes from 10th grade to freshman year of college.
Content warning: swearing, excessive head injuries, young parents.
okay but if rilaya ever actually got together…you know their goddamn number one fan would be Farkle Minkus. They’d call him to let him know after their first kiss only to find out he’d had an out of body experience and witnessed the whole thing. Bitch would have t-shirts made up before they even went on their first date. He’d start up a full blown rilaya fan club at school and name himself president. Zay is the vice president. They have buttons. He uses like half of his trust fund to start up an lgbtq+/young girls centered charity called ‘The Ladies Project’ after a few homophobes got gross on Maya’s Instagram. Every gift-giving occasion leads to him giving them some extravagant hers&hers stuff. If they start fighting or having relationship troubles he will deadass feel a disturbance in the force and contact them as soon as possible to help. Names his newborn kitten rilaya. Their Christmas gift to him one year was literally just telling him they were engaged. He cried. Offered to pay for the entire thing. They wouldn’t let him. He manages to book a honeymoon for them under their noses. A crisis occurs because the girls start arguing over who gets to have him as Best Man. Farkle solves it by just officiating the wedding himself. Cried almost as much as Cory the whole time. Surprised them by hiring their favorite band to perform at the reception under a bunch of fireworks. Threw six different people, including Lucas, out of the party because they were too wasted and he didn’t want drunken shenanigans ruining their night. The girls almost had a stroke when they saw the honeymoon suite in Paris he booked them. Years go by, the girls wanna start a family. Their first born is a boy. They make his middle name Farkle. The name him godfather. He cries for almost a full month. On their 50th wedding anniversary he gives them a digital scrapbook of pictures he’s taken of them dating back to first grade. Everyone cries. He still has the t-shirt he made for their first date tucked away in a memory box.
Here’s a look back at the tenure of Barack Obama, from Obamacare, his signature legislative achievement, to the mission that killed Osama bin Laden, the mastermind behind the Sept. 11 attacks, to a presidential visit to Cuba, the first in nearly 90 years. See the whole gallery here.
(From top: Jim Young/Reuters; Molly Riley/Pool via Getty Images; Kevin Lamarque/Reuters; Larry Downing/Reuters; Jim Watson/AFP - Getty Images)
Live and Let Live: How to Read Sherlock’s "Gay Jokes”
I want to take a moment to talk about something that has made a lot of fans uncomfortable with Sherlock.
Over and over on the show, John is shown insisting that he isn’t gay and/or isn’t in a romantic relationship with Sherlock. And when this motif comes up, it tends to feel like a gag or a joke. But what exactly are these repeated protestations really telling us?
When we refer to these bits as “gay jokes”, it sounds like we mean “humor at the expense of gay people”. This kind of humor has been accepted and unremarked upon on TV shows for decades – a character walks in with a limp wrist and a lisp, and the audience (or more likely, the laugh track) laughs, because gay people are (supposedly) inherently weird and funny.
In my reading, that’s not what’s going on with Sherlock.
Chapters: ¼ Fandom: Sherlock (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper, Mary Morstan/John Watson Characters: Sherlock Holmes, Molly Hooper, Mary Morstan, John Watson, Sally Donovan, Janine (Sherlock), Anthea (Sherlock), Kitty Riley, Molly Hooper’s Mother Summary:
A Pride and Prejudice retelling with Sherlock as Darcy and Molly as Lizzie. Sincere apologies to the ghost of Jane Austen.
For Mouse 9, who requested A Pride and Prejudice retelling.
Oh dear my family has many xD 2x chickens (Rebecca and Minnie), 4x cats (Tigger, Mowgli, Sophie, Pheobe) 3x dogs (Loki, Baby, Molly) 2x parakeets (Jess, Riley) 1x ferret (Buck) and 1x turtle, who we just call Turtle
❛ how are you holding up? ❜ her voice was RAVAGED by exhaustion as she held a sleeping molly in her arms. riley hated hospitals, hated the sterile STENCH that clogged her pores. she would give anything though, to be the one in the bed, not her brother. still, she had to be STRONG. for molly ——– and for amiat.
❛ do you need anything? ❜ // @phoeniiixia. sc.