No, none of these children are mine. Greece was a friend's kid that I took in to get rid of my crushing loneliness. I found Bulgaria in the woods. Hungary showed up a few days later demanding to kick his ass, and Romania is descended from the bats in the attic. I didn't notice Serbia until he'd been here for a year and a half.
an oddly extensive list of aph bulgaria headcanons
his human name is Stephan Borisov. he was “born” around the seventh century.
he comes off as cool and aloof but he’s usually screaming on the inside
he’s a pretty heavy smoker. he tried to quit in the 30s but he started again in the 60s
we’ve all heard the yoghurt thing. but he’s so smug about it you can’t even imagine. do you think this is a game? think again, motherfucker
“wow, is that yoghurt? did you know that i invented that?”
the same thing goes for the cyrillic alphabet. them baby slavs ain’t got shit on him
he literally never wears shirts when he’s home alone. ask him why and you’ll get a halfhearted shrug
he is, objectively, the most fashionable nation in the balkans. are you wearing leather pants, romania?
he finds all of the nordics to be very attractive.
the younger nations tend to look up to him. meanwhile, he panics in a corner
what if they want to talk to me? what if i mentions something weird?
probably smiles awkwardly when small children stare at him. the fucker waves too. stop being so cute
he tries so hard to be a good person
his heart’s in the right place. his, morals, however…
he sleeps face down. it’s honestly a miracle that he hasn’t suffocated yet.
he looks to be in his mid to late twenties. yeah, he’s younger than england (23), but dude he had two empires. get on his level.
half the year he looks like vanilla ice cream, and the other half he’s tan af
his eyes are so green man they’re so fucking green
he’s not as well muscled as Actual Confirmed Bears™ Russia and Turkey but he’s still got the bod
he doesn’t really have all that many relationships outside of the balkans because this is europe. it’s hard to keep friends when everyone’s attacking someone else.
and relationships inside the balkans are…complicated
he and romania are “pals”, but they’re the type of “pals” who will fuck and then sleep on opposite sides of the bed
basically they’re dating but they’re both such dicks that they can’t be bothered to be nice to each other
he and hungary are like siblings. they hate each other, but in a friendly way
stephan would willingly throw serbia out a window, but will also defend him to the death.
he’d rather not talk about turkey. they’ve got so many years of history. both good and bad (sorry, bad and bad), that’s it’s very hard to define whatever they’ve got. rn they nod at each other in a friendly way on smoke breaks and try very hard not to punch the other
it doesn’t work all that well
greece? who’s greece? i don’t know him?
all of the balkans band together to protect moldova. he’s so small and cute. u can’t touch him.
half the time they’re the ones scarring him with their weird fucking antics.
no, stephan, you can’t smoke when the kid’s in the room
outside of the balkans? he probably gets along with all of the former soviet bloc nations pretty well, though this is more out of a feeling of mutual sympathy than from actually liking them
his relationship with russia is just “stay the fuck away from me and i won’t kick your ass”
(he can’t kick russia’s ass)
honestly? he’s an awkward nerd who used to have an empire but just wants to eat yoghurt and watch anime nowadays
kids are too wild these days. back in my day we used to hit each other with sharp objects and fall asleep in trees
hello everyone and welcome back to my cooking show~ Today I've decided to bake a cake, and unlike the Eurovision song, I do have a clue on how to make cake~! I'm going to first show you a before and after sample of the cake-
Latvia! Latvia! What'ca doin'- oooh, a camera!
S-S-Sea-kun, what are you doing here??
what's wrong? Just wanna visit- ooh cake!
Sea-kun, I asked a question! I'm doing a video right now...
oop, right, sorry about that, mate! Then I'll be on my way- ooh... I forgot to tell ya something...
what is it?
*sniffs* ...cake? Cake? CAKE?!??! *jumps into cake at maximum velocity*