what do you mean when you say you don't have the emotional energy to be upset about the writers room? is everything ok?
Everything’s okay! Good, even. I just kind of don’t have it
in me right now to engage with X-Files negativity.
I’m not sure how well I can explain, even to myself, why
that is. To an extent, this has always been my personality; I’ll
overthink everything if I let myself, so for certain things, things I love, I
just DON’T. I have to be intentional about setting aside something that makes
me happy and letting myself be happy about it. When I was watching The X-Files for
the first time, I didn’t love absolutely every episode or approve of the way
every plotline was handled, but I didn’t want to write about my issues with the
show just yet. Writing my critiques (and reading other people’s critiques)
makes them real to me, and I just wanted to wholly and fully love The X-Files
for a while. And now that we get one last chance to share the anticipation of
waiting for new episodes, I want to go back to that feeling.
That’s not to say that I think being critical of something you
love means you’re overthinking it. I think the opposite. We critique things we
love because we care and we know they can be better. It’s just that I
personally have a hard time not letting my critiques consume and depress me,
especially when it comes to the show I’ve chosen to love most (which is
not always great for me, job wise. I’m working on it). Last week I saw one negative
comment about season 10 on here, WHICH I AGREED WITH, and I literally had to leave
my apartment and take a walk.
The current state of America is obviously not helping. I’m
so busy right now, and this country/the world has given us all so much to be
worried and angry about. And I know the state of our society makes the arts
more important, not less, and that we need to be especially vigilant of the
messages our media sends and the inclusivity of that media, both behind and in
front of the camera. (I also know that when I compartmentalize something I
love, like The X-Files, to avoid letting myself be overly negative about it, it’s
at least in part a function of my privilege as a cis white woman.) I’m glad
people are getting LOUD about how The X-Files has ignored, and continues to
ignore, women’s voices. I just get really tired at the thought of
adding my voice to that chorus in anything more substantial than a tweet.
I’ll get to a point where I’m ready to be critical. After season
10, I was hard on the finale. Professionally. (And commenters told me I was
watching The X-Files wrong because I didn’t fully support everything it was
doing.) I’m not great at being angry about what might be, or what could have
been, but I’m great at being upset about what IS. But I’m in “maybe there’s
hope” mode right now, and it’s a large part of why I’ve been spending less time
on here. I love every smart, critical voice holding this show to a high
standard. But right now I have to be soft with it.