A wife is the one who heals the heart of her husband. She comforts him and brings tranquility to his soul. She is his friend, his companion, his support and the one he trusts and confides within. She covers his faults and does not expose the affairs of their home to the world. She safeguards his secret and overlooks his shortcomings. She brings peace to his heart and soothes the pain of his soul. She makes him smile when he is down and reminds him when he is neglectful. She wants goodness for him in the world, but she advises him about desiring the akhirah. She stands by him whether in ease or hardship. She respects him and misses him when he isn’t around. She prays with him to show their gratitude and she jokes with him to show her affection. She prays that their love and compassion for one another increases and she asks Allah to gather them together in the gardens of paradise.
This is what we learn from the great women of Islam from the early generations of this ummah. This rule can be applied for both genders.
Mahmoud Darwish, from “Night Without a Dream,” of “This Dried-up Leaf Is Nothing but Words,” in “I Don’t Want This Poem to End,” I Don’t Want This Poem to End, transl. by Mohammad Shaheen (Interlink Books, 2017)
“I am in a secret fourfold word, the blasphemy against all gods of men.
Curse them! Curse them! Curse them!
With my Hawk’s head I peck at the eyes of Jesus as he hangs upon the cross.
I flap my wings in the face of Mohammed & blind him.
With my claws I tear out the flesh of the Indian and the Buddhist, Mongol and Din.
Bahlasti! Ompehda! I spit on your crapulous creeds.
Let Mary inviolate be torn upon wheels: for her sake let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!
Also for beauty’s sake and love’s!
Despise also all cowards; professional soldiers who dare not fight, but play; all fools despise!
But the keen and the proud, the royal and the lofty; ye are brothers!
As brothers fight ye!
There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt.”
A husband is supposed to be the one who cures the heart of his wife. He is her friend, her companion, her support and the one she confides in and he covers her faults. He drys her tears of pain. He makes her smile. He brings joy to her life. He trusts her and his love for her is eternal. He honours her during hardship and ease. He respects her and misses her when she is not around. He plays and jokes with her to show his affection and he prays with her to show their sacrifice. He supplicates for their love and blessings to increase, and he asks Allah to gather them together in the palaces of paradise.
This is what the Messenger of Allah ﷺ taught us throughout his blessed life. This rule can be applied for both genders.