I’m not going to say anything on the post about the history of the kink community being all tangled up in queer history because I’m not interested or informed enough to really engage in a debate.
But I do want to say, as someone who’s been involved with the modern day kink community: To act like the kink community of today is exactly the same as it was back in the ‘80s is disingenuous at best.
Pushing the kink community out of LGBT+ spaces might have started at respectability politics, but at this point so much of the kink community has been taken over by straight people – who also don’t know that history and so many of whom have no interest in the queer community whatsoever except that it buys them Oppression Points ™.
And I wish I was just talking out my ass. But listen, we worked the biggest kink event in the northeast corner of the US a couple years ago, okay. We – a chest binder company, so visibly queer, marketing towards other queer people – were situated right in front of one of the entrances to the dealer’s room. All weekend – for three days – we would watch m/f couples walk into the room, start heading for our table because it was the first thing they saw, and then we would see the visible panic or outright disgust on the dudes’ faces as they grabbed their ladies’ arms and forcibly steer them away.
The rare occasions when a man or woman would stop by the table on their own and engage us in conversation about what chest binders are, the conversation was always – always – undertoned with “what are these things and what niche weirdo would want to actually use them?” right up until they walked off in dismissive, confused, disgust.
At a kink event.
Obviously not everyone in the kink community is a gross straight person without even so little empathy that they can’t even imagine why an afab trans person might want something to flatten their chests. In fact we’ve done really well at other kink events that cater more towards the queer members of the community and they’re really the highlight of our business year; but those are small niche shows. Bigger show = bigger sampling of the community.
I’m sorry, but I really just can’t support the modern kink community as a whole as part of the queer community. Not when so many of them have such obvious disgust and derision for the queer community. They don’t care about us, they don’t support us, they don’t fight for us.