modern life subjects

pro tip: once you master it, you can use the same sort of pretentious-sounding vague figurative language to discuss wine, other expensive food products, poetry, music you don’t really understand, literature, any and all visual art forms, and bizarre ‘conceptual’ modern theater; you’ll sound profound and well-educated without having to actually understand or in any way enjoy what you’re critiquing.

e.g. “I love the texture of this piece, it’s delicate yet compellingly multilayered” sounds much better than “hmm, interesting.” but can be applied to the same wide variety of things. It helps if you affect an arch and contemplative tone, and pronounce your judgement slowly but with assurance, as if you’re still mulling over the complexities of the thing you’re discussing, rather than choosing adjectives at random and adding a few adverbs to flavor your word smoothie with.

With practice, you can render all discussion about the arts functionally meaningless!