CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS HE IS PRESSING HIS HAND AGAINST THE SCREEN AND HE JUST WANTS TO GET TO YOU BUT YOU’RE BOTH IN DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS I’M GONNA RAM MY FACE INTO MY PHONE SO HARD I GET TO HIM JUST WATCH ME
Cat!Jumin is high very enthusiastic lol omg i can’t believe i did this shitpost… april fools dlc killed me and what i’ve done to my life… this is pretty weird not gonna lie… many mistakes but too lazy and tired to fix it… many too many frames
Are they calling for help, for the crushing
urgency, the need to rob time of time itself? Or are they warning us to look
away, to prepare ourselves because tragedy is upon us – we might as well be
Even after many years, I’d recall their
grieving sound. The way my hands pressed upon Claire’s belly, blocking the exit
of her life with my palms. The screams around me, senseless, enhancing my
growing despair. How her eyes never left mine – daring me to stay with her, to
keep death at bay.
The paramedics came. They could have taken from
seconds to a lifetime to reach us – I wouldn’t be able to say. Time skipped and
jumped, a leaf on the fury of wind, fragile at the thought of flying.
“I need you to step aside, sir.” A small man
told me with assertiveness, trying to dislodge me from my position, kneeled
next to Claire on the ground. His gloved hands were already evaluating her
pulse, placing an oxygen mask on her face.
“I will not leave her side!” I growled, ferocious.
He gave me a serious look, but didn’t make any further attempts to take me away
from her, certain I would strike and maim any man foolish enough to try. He was right.
They quickly bandaged her abdomen with a pile
of snow white compresses, held tight against her body by a bandage skilfully
applied. Claire tried not to moan, but I could see her pain in every ragged
breath, in the sweat that dripped from her brow.
The ambulance flew across the roads of
Edinburgh, transporting us to the closest trauma centre. The driver had opened
his mouth – about to object my presence – but was shortly discouraged by my
menacing glance and a shook of head from the short paramedic.
“Hold on.” I repeated to Claire, like a mantra,
holding her band – being almost thrown to the opposite side of the ambulance as
the vehicle raced to the hospital, jumping on speed bumps and sliding on the
curves like a car in hot pursuit. “Dinna die on me, mo nighean donn. I won’t let ye, do ye hear me?”
“I’m… not… too keen…. on the idea… either.” She
puffed haltingly, making a weak attempt of a smile, which almost broke my
“Woman of thirty, victim of an armed robbery,
gunshot wound to the upper right quadrant with no exit wound – she’s losing
blood fast.” The paramedic announced, as they erupted through the emergency
doors, a team standing by to receive them. “Glasgow fifteen, she has been
responsive during transport. Her blood pressure kept dropping, the saline is
wide open but ineffective fluid challenge.” He informed to a man with brown
hair and olive eyes, who nodded in acquiescence, leading the gurney carrying
Claire to a trauma room as I followed closely.
“Denzel.” Claire whispered to the young
surgeon, as he started to unpack her abdomen to access her injuries. “Is that
you?” He looked at her face, surprised at hearing his name, and his eyes opened
“Claire!” He touched her face in greeting, as
nurses hurried around, preparing trays and drugs that might be necessary. “Dear
God! What happened?”
“Do ye know her?” I asked, grabbing her hand in
spite of a nurse’s protest, prepared to shoo me away from the secluded room.
“Of course.” He looked at me with concern in
his calm eyes, as he started to palpate her belly. Claire hissed in pain and he
pursed his worried lips. “I met Claire during medical school in Boston and was
very pleased when she decided to return to Scotland and be a resident here, as
I am. You really shouldn’t be here, sir.”
“Please…” Claire pleaded, closing her eyes for
a second and licking her chapped lips. “Let Jamie stay…just a while longer.”
“Alright.” Denzel Hunter patted her hand in
reassurance. “As long as he doesn’t faint on me.”
“How… bad… is it, Denny?” She asked, her eyes
more unfocused and glassy. “I’m…fairly…sure…it went through…my liver.”
“And I’m sure you’re right - brilliant even in
this situation, my dear. I’ll ask Doctor Myers to come in to operate.” Denny
smiled, skilfully inserting a catheter on her jugular vein.
“I’ll be dead…before…he gets here.” Claire said
sheepishly, raising her brow. Her face was hazardously pale, her whiskey eyes
shining even brighter, her orbs dilated from pain and blood loss. “It has…to be
you. I trust…you.”
Denny nodded, solemn, checking her pupils with
a small flashlight, as she suddenly became unconscious – the monitors around
them going crazy with alarms. “She’s bleeding out! Let’s move people, hang that
saline wide open and two units of blood on the rapid infuser!” He commanded,
concentrated in the wound’s trajectory. “Do you know her blood type, by any
I didn’t know her blood type – never had the
chance to ask her, that information amongst a million other precious details of
her that I knew nothing about. I didn’t know her birthday, even though I knew
the position she slept in. I didn’t know her favourite dish – even if I was
aware she preferred sneakers than high heels. I almost choked at the
realization of the lifetime of things I could be robbed of, so devastatingly –
left wondering, forever, because the time we had been offered hadn’t been
enough. Knowing how much I loved her – and yet knowing so little of the one I
“I dinna ken.” I admitted, gripping my fists,
fighting the urge to curl into a ball and weep on the floor, stained with her
“That’s alright.” Denzel assured me, throwing
away compresses soaked in blood. “Let’s go with O-negative! I need a blood gas test
as soon as possible and someone call the OR, let them know we’re coming! I want
to be doing the first cut in less than five minutes!”
“Is she going to be alright?” I fearfully asked
him, reluctantly letting go of her hand as a nurse took blood from her wrist
with a fine syringe.
“She’s going into shock from the blood loss.”
He explained in a steady voice. “I need to repair the damage right away, before
she’s too unstable to endure the procedure. We’ll take her away now.”
I approached her, feeling numb as if my own
blood had been turned to ice in my veins. I kissed her forehead, my lips hot
against her perspired skin.
“Don’t leave me, Claire. This time I’ll beg.” I
whispered in a broken voice. “Don’t leave
I roamed the strikingly white corridors, incapable
of sitting any longer in the waiting room outside the OR, where other husbands,
daughters and mothers gathered, hope and fear lurking inside their eyes.
I came upon the small chapel, whispering of
shelter and tranquillity in the half-light. I sat on the wooden bench, my hands
entwined in prayer – I was ready to surrender to His will well enough, but was
intent on offering a bargain.
“Lord, ye gave her to me.” I whispered, my eyes
fixed on the cross where he had been martyr, symbol of the most loyal of loves.
“I canna make sense of it in any other way. When my need was greatest ye set
her upon my path so she could heal my soul. All along I was meant for her.” A
warm tear streamed down my check, too raw to be contained. “And I intend to
love her well the rest of my days – to care for her and make a home of her
heart. I shall repay the gifts bestowed upon me by loving her to the best of my
abilities. So I ask ye now – dinna take her away.”
I clenched my teeth, fighting against the sobs
that threaten to wreck my body. “For if ye ever loved, ye know this – there’s
this place inside me that only exists as long as she walks the earth. Once she’s
gone, the part of me that lived in her light – the best, the one that makes me
myself and no one else - will die with her.” My voice was unhinged, resounding
in the naked walls, pulsing as the chambers of His heart. “I’m none so brave as
I was before, ken?” I added very softly. “Not brave enough to live without her anymore.”
I heard footsteps approaching the door – I didn’t
bother to clean away the tear tracks on my cheeks. I didn’t turn either – I knew
who had come to bring me news.
“Does she live?” I asked aloud – the hint of
pain, of shaped glass an inch away from shattering, creeped into my voice.
“She lives.” Denzel Hunter sat next to me,
sighing in tiredness as his bones found comfort in transient rest. “It was touch
and go for a while, but I was able to retrieve the bullet and repair the
vessels – she lost a bit of her liver, but it will regenerate itself with time.”
His outline was sharp, softness mixed with edges, akin to a bust of an angel
descending from grace to speak of hope to the lost crowd. “It will be a slow
recovery – but she lives.”
“Thank ye.” I closed my eyes and bent my head,
my body shaking from supressed grief, as I let go of the leash I had been using
to keep myself together. “Thank ye.”
I repeated. I didn’t know if I was thanking Denzel Hunter or God – but to me,
in that moment, they were one and the same.
He squeezed my shoulder in silent acknowledgment
and left me alone – to cry for joy and gratitude, for my heart had been saved.
I sat by her side as soon as she went to a room
in recovery. I jumped each time a monitor bleeped, startled to the point of
panic – but she slept peacefully, her lips still hauntingly pale.
I knew sleep wouldn’t touch me – my task was to
watch over her. To guard her. To will her
back to me.
marvelled with each heartbeat – found terror in the infinitesimal space between
each and every one of them. I talked to her in the Gaidhlig, the language of my dreams, in which I could best tell her
all my heart. I brushed her hand with inquiring fingers, learning the lines of
her to make sure they were still the same. I kissed her lips softly,
remembering the promise of her laugh.
And as the moon rose outside, I watched the
circuit of air inside her lungs, the tiny movements of flesh and bone,
adjusting to the challenging rhythms of life. I watched her breathe again and
again, until she opened her eyes to look at me – and I discovered that I too could