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Random Kaiju Generator!

by Michael Harrel

A system-agnostic, slightly Pacific Rim-centric (but useful for other settings), card-based giant monster creation aid.

Instructions: Draw 6 cards and build on the results.

Cards 1 and 2 - Animal Bases
The kaiju’s physical description should be a combination of these two animals; however, neither animal should be mentioned by name in your description. (i.e., if you’re describing Gamera, don’t just say “It’s a giant turtle with elephant tusks.”)

Hearts
A Waterbear/Tardigrade
2 Blob/Gelatin/Amoeba/Jellyfish
3 Centipede/House Centipede
4 Slug/Leech/Worm/Bobbit Worm
5 Spider/Scorpion
6 Shrimp/Mantis Shrimp
7 Bacteriophage
8 Grasshopper/Weta/Cricket
9 Antlion larvae
10 Mosquito
J Fly / Wasp / Hornet
Q Dust Mite
K Coccolithophores/Radiolaria

Diamonds
A Bat / Vampire bat
2 Pangolin/Armadillo
3 Platypus
4 Giraffe
5 Mole/Naked Mole Rat/Starnose Mole
6 Porcupine / Echidna / Hedgehog
7 Bear/Grizzly Bear/Polar Bear
8 Boar/Pig/Razorback
9 Bull/Ox
10 Lion/Tiger/Sabertooth Cat
J Canid / Wolf / Hyena / Dog
Q Elk / Moose / Deer / Gazelle
K Elephant

Clubs
A Bird of Prey/Vulture/Eagle/Buzzard/Hawk
2 Axolotl
3 Frog/Toad
4 Turtle/Matamata Turtle/Alligator Snapping Turtle
5 Iguana/Komodo Dragon/Monitor Lizard
6 Snake/Python/Anaconda/Viper
7 Dimetrodon
8 Pterosaur/Quetzalcoatlus/Pteranodon
9 Ankylosaur
10 Theropod/Allosaurus/Tyrannosaurus
J Therapsid (Estemmenosuchus, for example)
Q Mosasaur
K Plesiosaur

Spades
A Blue sea slug
2 Trilobite/Horseshoe Crab/Lobster
3 Anglerfish
4 Squid/Octopus/Cuttlefish/Dumbo Octopus
5 Praying Mantis
6 Dunkleosteus
7 Sea Dragon / Sea Horse
8 Jellyfish / Man o’ War
9 Shark
10 Demon/Dragon
J Trespasser Model
Q Trespasser Model
K Trespasser Model

Cards 3-4: Special Characteristics
Your kaiju will also have special attacks, powers, or other characteristics, which may not have anything to do with the base animals. (I.e., Gamera’s rocket propulsion is almost entirely unrelated to normal turtle behavior.)

Hearts
A. Lamprey mouth
2. Tentacles!
3. Lots of horns/spikes
4. Wings
5. Camouflage / Invisibility
6. Sonic Weapon
7. Breath weapon
8. Pincers or Claws
9. Shape Changing
10. Long Jumping / Pouncing
J. Attack deflection
Q. Forcefield
K. Shockwaves / Tidal Waves

Diamonds
A. Miasma / Toxic fog
2. Burrowing
3. Constriction
4. Rapid Asexual Reproduction
5. Energy Drain/Absorption
6. Whip Tail
7. Multiple heads/mouths
8. Hidden/Retractable spikes all over its body
9. Several smaller kaiju hidden inside
10. Binding mucus / Hyper-sticky glue slime
J. Eye beam
Q. Sonic burst weapon
K. Hidden scythe-like arms

Clubs
A. Psychic Blast / Forced Drifting
2. Self Destruct Mode
3. Parasite Injector
4. Mental Surge
5. Greater Darkness
6. Multidimensional folding
7. Resurrection/Healing
8. Tractor beam / Magnetic Field / Artificial Gravity
9. Very Long Tongue / Frog’s tongue
10. Acid Attack
J. Space warping
Q. Made of lots of tiny organisms
K. Field of darkness / Photon negation

Spades
A. Bone shards / Bone spikes
2. Size expansion/contraction
3. “Force” Slam / Push
4. Defensive Regurgitation
5. Explosive / Detachable Body Parts
6. Able to flatten itself / change shape
7. Biological or energy net, trap, tripwire, web
8. Speed boost
9. Extreme Temperature Control
J. Flight
Q. Mesmerization / Hypnosis
K. Biological chain-saw

Card 5: Category/Height/Weight
This card is fairly Pacific Rim-universe specific, so if you’re generating a kaiju for another setting, feel free to skip it. The card’s suit is irrelevant here.

A - Category 1 / 200ft / 2000 tons
2 - Category 2 / 200 - 300ft / 2000 - 3000 tons
3 - Category 2 / 250 - 350ft / 2500 - 3500 tons
4 - Category 3 / 300 - 400ft / 3000 - 4000 tons
5 - Category 3 / 350 - 450ft / 3500 - 4500 tons
6 - Category 4 / 350 - 400ft / 3500 - 4500 tons
7 - Category 4 / 400 - 500ft / 4000 - 5000 tons
8 - Category 4 / 400 - 500ft / 4000 - 5000 tons
9 -  Category 4 / 450 - 550ft / 4500 - 5500 tons
10 - Category 4 / 450 - 550ft / 4500 - 5500 tons
J - Category 5 / 500-600ft / 5000-6000 tons
Q - Category 5 / 600ft / 6000 tons
K - Daikaiju / > 600ft / > 6000 tons

Speed, Strength, and Armor start at 7 each. You may add a number of points equal to twice the Kaiju’s category, and may move points from one column to another on a 1-for-1 basis.

Card 6: Kaiju Name Type
The examples given are mostly Pacific Rim-related, but I feel like Pacific Rim had pretty good kaiju names and you won’t go wrong by following them. As in Card 5, the suit of the card drawn doesn’t matter.

A. Portmanteau (e.g., Ceramander)
2. Portmanteau (e.g., Ceramander)
3. Gods, Demons, Monsters (e.g., Raiju, Hundun)*
4. Gods, Demons, Monsters (e.g., Raiju, Hundun)*
5. Descriptive Compound Noun (e.g., Knifehead)
6. Verb with Negative Connotations Ending in -er (e.g., Tresspasser, Reckoner, etc)
7. Verb with Negative Connotations Ending in -er (e.g., Tresspasser, Reckoner, etc)
8. Archaic Insult (e.g., Slattern)
9. Horrible Pun (e.g., Scissure)
10. Ends in “-ra(s)” or “-(g/d)on/-an” (e.g., ‘Gojira”, “Gamera”, “Rodan”, “Megalon”)
J. Random Vaguely Negative Word (e.g., Hardship)
Q. Person Associated with Horror Films (e.g., Karloff)
K.  Portmanteau + Gods, Demons, Monsters (E.g., )

*For some Gods, Demons, and other Monster names, see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_theological_demons,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Chaos_gods,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_legendary_creatures)

Example Kaiju:
Codename: Moloch
Category: 5
Height: 500 ft  
Weight: 4000 tons
Speed: 10
Strength: 15
Armor: 14
Attack behavior: Savage and unrestrained.
Toxicity: Medium
Powers: Extreme Regeneration, impenetrable carapace, powerful teeth, claws, and tail
Weaknesses: Precious Few
City Targeted: Santiago, Chile

Description: Moloch has two large horns on its head, and a heavy carapace on its back, covered in spikes. Its main forearms are quite long, indicating that it may be partially quadrupedal. It has a prominent lantern jaw, and rough, reptilian skin. Its hands and fingers are long, with sharp, wicked looking claws. Its tail is likewise covered in savage spikes, and can be used as a whip.

Moloch’s carapace is strong enough to deflect virtually all attacks against it, and even should its shell be pierced, or a weapon aimed at its softer underside, its incredible rate of regeneration will heal the wound within moments – even to the point of regrowing lost limbs. Even when decapitated, the kaiju’s second brain takes over, and given enough time (several hours), the first head will grow back.

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