Note: not necessarily of heroes of that type (though most are), but the quote is about that type.
INFJ: “I’m not seeking penance for what I’ve done, Father. I’m asking forgiveness…for what I’m about to do.” (Daredevil TV Show, “Into the Ring”)
INTJ: “Are you a God-fearing man, Senator? That is such a strange phrase. I’ve always thought of God as a teacher; a bringer of light, wisdom, and understanding. You see, I think what you really fear is me. Me and my kind. The Brotherhood of Mutants. Oh, it’s not so surprising really. Mankind has always feared what it doesn’t understand. Well, don’t fear God, Senator, and certainly don’t fear me. Not any more.” (Magneto, X-Men)
ENTJ: “Today, I make no demands… no threats! But, one day, I shall voice demands – and all shall obey them!” (Doctor Doom)
ENFJ: “I’ve faced giant robots, bird-men, Viking dudes…never a broken heart. I don’t know how to fight this feeling. I’m just glad I don’t have to fight it alone.” (Ms. Marvel)
ISFP: “You don’t understand. Have you ever had someone take your brain and play? Take you out and stuff something else in? You know what it’s like to be unmade?” (Hawkeye, The Avengers)
ISTP: Clint: “Natasha, please tell me you’re not experimenting with those old Russian poisons again.”
Natasha: “I only paralyzed you for a week Clint. You need to let that go”
(Not sure where it’s from)
ESTP: “Always act on your impulses, Sam Wilson. Life’s candle burns too briefly not to live in the moment. Avengers! Until our paths cross again…” (Thor, Jane Foster version)
ESFP: “You guys haven’t heard of Nova? I beat up the Hulk! I’m a double-secret probationary Avenger!” (Nova, Sam Alexander version)
INFP: "All these years I thought it was power that brought responsibility. It’s not. I was wrong. It’s responsibility that brings power. It’s knowing what needs to be done that brings strength. And courage.“ (Peter Parker, Earth X)
INTP: “Our destiny lies ahead, in the future–forward-facing, always… The darkness… the old ways…that’s for other minds to contemplate… Everything we do from now on will be a journey into the unkown… and adventure of the imagination…an exploration of the infinite… Will you join me, Susan?” (Reed Richards)
ENTP: “Say Jar-Jar Binks is an abomination! SAY IT!” (Deadpool)
ENFP: “Doesn’t matter what the press says. Doesn’t matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn’t matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — ‘No, you move.’” (Captain America, Civil War)
ISFJ: Spider-Man: “I couldn’t save the Gwen Stacy of my world.”
Spider-Gwen: “Hey, I couldn’t save Peter Parker in mine. Make you a deal, what say we watch over each other.”
Spider-Man: “Sounds like a plan”
ISTJ: “I’ve always admired Lincoln. When the south began going its own way, he knew that taking a position against them would lead to civil war. But he did it anyways. Because he understood something… Understood it more perhaps than anyone else in that time. He knew that a house divided against itself cannot stand… A nation cannot be divided and survive. Under his administration, brother hunted down brother, friend turned against friend. It was terrible. It was bloody. It was necessary. Because at the end, the republic held, and the nation was restored.” (Iron Man, Civil War)
ESTJ: Spider-Woman (Skrull): “Your hate is your own. Your judgement is your own. We are here to save you. we are here to change you. And we’re here because despite all you’ve done to our empire… he loves you.”
Spider-Man: “Uh… he who?”
Spider-Woman (Skrull): “God.”
Nick Fury: “Yeah? Well my God has a HAMMER!”
ESFJ: Bruce Banner: I don’t think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him. Thor: Have a care how you speak! Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother! Natasha Romanoff: He killed eighty people in two days. Thor: He’s adopted. (The Avengers)
INFJ: “They were Terrified. But they didn’t break ranks. They were horrified, but they stood Firm. And the shining Truth in that moment – is that Never was the line between hero and villain so inescapably Clear.” (Martian Manhunter)
INTJ: “It’s a touch Machiavellian, I admit. But my end justifies my means.” (Batman, “Man of Steel” comic)
ENTJ: "He could control every creature that lives in the sea. But I don’t think either of you know what that really means. Do you know, do you understand, do you have any idea how much life there is in just one single square mile of sea? I don’t think you do… and if you multiply that by lots of miles in every direction… I’d never seen anything like it in my whole life… and God as my witness, I hope to never see it again.” (About Aquaman, not sure who said it though)
ENFJ: Wonder Woman: “This is not your truth. The lasso compels you. Now tell us your truth.”
Random Man protesting Wonder Woman: “I cross-dress in a Wonder Woman outfit. It makes me feel powerful.”
Wonder Woman: “Embrace your truth my friend. My outfit makes me feel powerful too.” (Justice League: War, in a clip you can watch here.)
ISFP: “I have no interest in your deals. No interest in you, in any of you, on the outside. This park, this is Gotham now… its future. Reclaimed by nature, pure without mankind’s assaults. It is a sanctuary now, and I am guardian. I will not let it be defiled. Not by anyone. Certainly not by you. Leave.” (Poison Ivy)
ISTP: “I should have killed him when I had the chance. That thought, I can’t get rid of it. And every time I leave one of them alive… be it a mobster or one of Arkham’s monsters… that’s one more animal that’s going to be back on the streets, just waiting to destroy a life.” (Huntress)
ESTP: “I’m getting lectured on child safety from a man who’s gone through four Robins?” (The Flash, Wally West version)
ESFP: “And if I’ve learned nothing else from Bugs Bunny cartoons, it’s that there’s always SOMETHING I can say to get the bad guy to untie me.” (Harley Quinn)
INFP: “Life doesn’t give us purpose. We give life purpose.” (The Flash, Barry Allen version)
INTP: Huntress: “I have a question for you then. Do you know what apophenia is?” The Question: “Apophenia: noun. The tendency to see connections where none exist.” (Justice League Unlimited, “Double Date”)
ENTP: "See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum. And one night, they decide they don’t like living in the asylum anymore. They decide they’re going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away into the moonlight. Stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daren’t make the leap. Y'see… y'see, he’s afraid of falling. So then the first guy has an idea… He says, ‘Hey, I have a flashlight with me! I’ll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk across the beam and join me!’ But the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says… he says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You’d turn it off when I was halfway across!’“ (The Joker, The Killing Joke)
ENFP: “Sometimes you follow a road for years and then it drops off in front of you. Where all your destinations used to be, now there’s just a hole. A lot’s dropped out from under me in fifteen years. Fifteen years since I crash-landed that plane, since I picked up the ring from the desert floor. The ‘Guardians of the Universe’ and the Green Lantern Corps. Tomar-Re, Katma-Tui, and a dozen other friends on a dozen different planets. Carol Ferris and the aircraft company that bears her name. An engineering group called the gremlins, who won’t talk to me anymore. Jets. When you start on them, the roads stretch away endlessly into the countryside. But then you top the last ride and you find nothing but the hole. And when you reach the hole, there’s nowhere to go. Nowhere–and everywhere!” (Green Lantern, Hal Jordan version)
ISFJ: “Live as one of them, Kal-El, to discover where your strength and your power are needed. Always hold in your heart the pride of your special heritage.They can be a great people, Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you…. my only son.” (Jor-El, Superman: The Movie)
ISTJ: “I am a soldier. As such, I’m following my superiors’ orders - and trying to work out the best strategy possible. That’s what a soldier does. Regardless of his personal feelings.” (Green Lantern, John Stewart version in Justice League Unlimited)
ESTJ: "Yes. You can’t stop crime. That’s what you never understood. I’m controlling it. You wanna rule them by fear. But what do you do with the ones who aren’t afraid? I’m doing what you won’t, I’m taking them out!” (Red Hood, Batman: Under the Red Hood)
ESFJ: "That man won’t quit as long as he can still draw breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I’ve got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard… Always taking constant care not to break something… To break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control even for a moment, or someone could die. But you can take it, can’t you, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose and show you just how powerful I really am!“ (Superman, Justice League Unlimited, “Destroyer”)
"So, you lookin' for trouble or something, Mister? 'Cause generally it's not a good idea to poke around in other people's houses when they're not home."
????: “And it’s generally not a good idea to listen to voices that ain’t really there, and yet here I am talking to a hallucination.”
????: “So I’m sorry if I’m trying to make the most of this fever dream while it lasts - because evidently, toany rube who is probably listenin’ right now and laughin’ at my fuckin’ expense, I have been drugged.”
“… I just hope that whatever this is I’m eating really is an apple, ‘cause it sure don’t taste like any apple I’ve ever had… ”
Bitty Reader Adventures: Exotic Reader and Mobtale Sans & Papyrus (Part I)
been an amazing morning at Rivethart’s Itty Bitty Reader Shelter (a subsidiary of
Crybaby’s Bitty Bones Inc.). Several little Readers had found forever homes
with kind, trustworthy monsters. Alpha Clan Mettaton had swept in and cleaned
out the clothing section of the store, as well as buying several new furniture
sets and a few larger bags of the more expensive Muffet-Brand treats. The
splurge had set Rivet’s sale goals for the next month, and she was planning on
buy pizza that night for her and her little Readers to celebrate.
of the Readers had started squabbling – in fact, they were all getting along
better than ever! It was play time, which meant all two-dozen of them were in
the Pen. The Pen was a large area blocked off in the front corner of the store
by a two-foot high wall; small enough for most monsters to step over, but tall
enough that the Readers (who tended to range in height from 3 ½ inches to 6 or
7 inches) couldn’t climb out and get into trouble. There was no shouting,
squabbling over toys, or play-fighting going on today – even the Biters (well,
they were ‘Aggressive’ on the poster, but Rivet had enough scars on her fingers
to call them whatever she wanted) were behaving.
as anybody familiar with Murphy’s Law knows, when everything goes this well,
something bad is lurking just around the corner.
this case, the bad came in the form of two skeletons in sharp suits wielding weapons
– the short one had a tommy gun hanging casually from his hand, pointed at the
ground, while the tall one had a bone-shaped club resting over one shoulder. They
cut quite a dashing figure, radiating a 20’s mobster movie charm. The deer monster
would have swooned, if she didn’t find them irritating as hell.
Papyrus.” Rivet greeted the two as she turned from the Pen and caught sight of
them. Her voice was soft and low, quiet enough that the Readers couldn’t hear
her. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, no weapons in the store.”
fingers twitched around the hilt of his bone club, but Sans merely smiled and
wiggled the tommy gun at the floor, one eye drooping in a lazy wink. “C’mon,
toots, you know me ‘n’ Paps would never hurt you or your little buddies.”
Care.” Rivet pointed to a sign posted by the door. It was vinyl, and with the
sun shining they could see the printed side through the back. There was a gun,
a sword, and a magical spear gathered together in a red circle with a line
through it. “No weapons in the store. No exceptions.”
kid, you’re gonna ruin our look.” Sans deep Boston accent slurred a bit as he
pulled out his phone and popped the gun into the magical inventory. Papyrus
simply dismissed his bone, which dissolved into magic and settled back into his
“Thank you.” The deer huffed, hands on
her hips. “Now, what can I do for you gentlemen?”
Sans popped a brow, smirking. “Last time you called us brutes.”
returned the smirk. “Gentlemen, brutes, same thing.” She shrugged. “Now, is
there a reason you’re bothering me? It must be important, if you came in waving
weapons to intimidate me.”
weren’t trying to intimidate you,” Papyrus corrected, a hand on his chest to
convey his sincerity. “It is simply a habit from when we are on the job.”
And you’re on the job right now…?” Rivet crossed her arms and cocked one hip,
we are.” Sans tilted his fedora back with his thumb, having to look up a bit to
meet her eyes. “We need to talk to you ‘bout something serious.”
searched his eye sockets for a moment, then glanced at his brother. Papyrus
stood on his right, slightly behind him, an impressive show of strength and an
attentive backer. Well, normally attentive
backer. As Rivet watched, he glanced at the large pen on the floor in the
corner of the room. It was playtime, and all the Readers were romping around.
Some Adventurous ones had decided to scale a model castle using paperclips and
string, while a handful of Curious and Intellectuals tag-teamed a monster-sized
game of chess. Impressive, seeing how the pieces were almost as tall as
themselves. The space was a play area for the readers, as well as a space that
allowed potential adopters to play and interact with them.
Rivet ignored the shorter skeleton, “Could you do me a favor?”
tall skeleton frowned, and the monster wanted to smack herself – asking for a
favor from a Mobtale was always a bad idea. Ah well, too late now.
The skeleton asked carefully.
you please watch over the Readers while I speak with your brother?” She tilted
her head towards the Pen.
hesitated, glancing at his little brother, who sighed heavily. “Go on, Papyrus.
I’m more than happy to explain the problem
to our friend myself.” The taller skeleton looked like he wanted to squeal
in excitement. He quickly schooled his face into something softer and hurried
over to the pen. He stepped over the half-wall and sat, only to immediately be
swarmed by enthusiastic Readers.
is your inventory doing, kid?” Sans glanced around the large main room, taking
in the soft blue walls and colorful posters.
I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times,” Rivet huffed, “They’re not
my inventory. They’re my friends.”
Sans expression softened a bit. “Right. So, have you gotten any new friends lately?”
few.” Rivet crossed her arms, looking him up and down. “Why, are you looking to
adopt? Fill that empty place that used to be your SOUL?”
skeleton glowered, but didn’t lash out. It was a common fight between the two,
one that played out every time he visited. “Nah,” he tapped his chest, “My
SOUL’s as empty as ever. I was wondering, though – you get any new friends that are, eh, special?”
Reader is special and unique in their own way.” Rivet jabbed at one of the
posters on a nearby wall, which displayed the saying in bright, neon letters.
“Not that kind of special.” Sans pinched at
the slight ridge above his nose cavity, eyes closing as he heaved a heavy sigh.
“I mean Readers with weird marks or hair or things that make them stand out
more than usual.”
froze, feeling her stomach drop to be replaced with an organ made of dread and
malaise. “Sans, why are you asking me this?” She asked, slowly.
skeleton shoved his hands in his pocket and rocked back on his heels, keeping
his eyes on the deer’s rapidly paling face. Even the reddish-brown fur on her
cheeks was beginning to turn white.
reason,” Sans answered, turning away from her. “Just keep an eye out, kid. You
got my number – call me if you see anything strange.” He strode away with
heavy, sure steps, stopping by the pen.
was in heaven. There were at least a dozen different Readers sprawled over his
lanky body. Some Adventurous ones had climbed all the way to his shoulders and
skull, while the others made themselves comfortable by sprawling over his limbs
or snuggling in his lap. The tall skeleton was stone still, fearing any
movement would harm the little Readers, though a please hum slipped between his
teeth as one of the Readers began petting his cheek.
Paps, we gotta go.” Sans seemed a little reluctant to disturb his brother, and
Papyrus seemed equally reluctant to leave. He began to carefully scoop off the
Readers and set them down, saying goodbye to each and every one. Rivet moved
over and helped him, shooing the little Readers away to their activities. The
Curious restarted their chess game, the Intellectuals (she called them
Smarties, but never to their face) went to the well-stocked bookshelves, while
the others dispersed to the toys to amuse themselves. Finally, Papyrus was
Reader-free and able to step over the short wall that kept the pen separate
from the rest of the store.
“You’re welcome to visit them any
time, Papyrus.” Rivet told him, grinning at the spark that lit up his thin
eyes. He tipped his hat to Rivet, then left through the door Sans was holding
“Sans,” Rivet grabbed the
skeletons suit sleeve, tugging him to a stop. Sans tensed but didn’t lash out,
though his fingers twitched and the deer was sure if he had a gun in hand she’d
be dust, or at least very sore. “If you were to find any ‘special’ Readers in
need of a home, there will always be room here. No matter how many need to
The gangster met her eyes, and
for a moment they just stared at each other. Finally, he slowly nodded. “I’ll
let you know if I find any new friends for
She nodded back and held the door
open for him, watching as he and his brother climbed into a sleek red
convertible and took off. It seemed like, no matter the clan, each Papyrus
owned at least one convertible. Huh.
were tired, but couldn’t sleep. The cage was small and cold, a flat metal base
and roof wrapped around with chicken wire. The cages were stacked one on top of
the other, all against one large wooden wall. Each cage had three or four
Readers in it, all huddled together for warmth and comfort and, to some extent,
been stuck in a cage with two larger male Readers, one an Adventurous and the
other a Jumper. As soon as you’d been thrown into the small space (you were
part of a new ‘shipment’ and had arrived only a few days ago) they had pulled
you to the back of the cage, farthest from the wire door, and sandwiched you
safely between them.
talk when they’re around,” Adventure had warned quietly, nodding towards one of
the large monsters standing by the doorway to the small room. “They don’t like
look at them.” Jumper had his arm around your shoulder, holding you tight
against his side. “Just be still and quiet. The less attention you draw, the
had tugged at your purple sweater curiously, then grinned and rested his chin
on your head. “Heh, you’re a Justice, huh? It’s rough here, but don’t worry –
we’ll all be okay.”
had been two days ago. Over those days, Readers had been taken from their cages
and out of the room. Most of the time they were returned, bearing bandages or
odd haircuts. Many times their faces were red and puffy from crying, and other
times they were unconscious when they were brought back. A few were never
brought back at all.
asked where they were taken, but neither of your cage mates would tell you. The
readers in the neighboring cages wouldn’t tell you either – it was a taboo
subject. Instead, the Creative in the cage to your left told stories to keep
you all entertained, and you all ate the little ‘nutrition bars’ the monsters
provided you. At night you tried to sleep, despite the cold and anxiety eating
at you. During the day you snuggled between your cage mates and dozed,
comforted by their soft voices. It was after one of those sleepless nights that
your cage door was open.
monster – scaly, red, with an unpleasant snout full of sharp teeth – unlocked the
little wire door and thrust his large, clawed hand in. The sound of talons
scraping across metal jolted you all the way awake just before the monster’s
fingers pushed you to the side. The tree-trunk thick digits wrapped around
Jumper, who was unnaturally quiet and still, and yanked him harshly from the
You tried to scramble upright, but Adventure had his arms around you, pinning
you against him as the cage was relocked. “No, let him go! Bring him back!”
“SILENCE!” The dragon monster slammed his
fist against the front of your cage, rattling the entire wall of enclosures.
You shrunk back against Adventure, who turned a bit, shielding you from him. He
ran a hand through your hair, hugging you tightly.
gonna happen to Jump?” You asked clinging to Adventures dirty orange sweater.
be fine,” Adventure soothed, shifting so the both of you were pressed into the
corner of the cage. In the next cage, Curious and his mates moved to rub at
your shoulder through the chicken wire. “Jump is strong, he’ll be fine.” The
two of you stayed in the corner for the rest of the day, worrying about your
friend as the hours ticked by.
exhausted Jump was returned just as the sun began to set. His face was blotchy
and red, though as soon as the dragon monster had thrown him back in he’d wiped
at his face and put on a cheery smile.
guys,” he croaked, voice rough and stressed, as though he’d been screaming for
hours. “Miss me?”
You threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him
tight. He had to stoop a bit, being much taller than you. “I was so scared you
wouldn’t come back!”
leave you with only Ad’s bad jokes? Never, Justy! You’re my best friend!” He
ruffled your hair, and only then did you realize that the sleeves of his bright
blue jumper had been torn off. Each arm was wrapped in bandages, which were
dotted with blood.
immediately let him go and took a step back, aghast. “Jump, what happened? What
did they do to you?”
nothing, Justy. I’m fine.”
Ad snorted, pulling the active Reader into a tight hug. “C’mon, come sit down.”
You followed them both to your regular corner, and found yourself squished
between them like normal. “How do you feel?”
tugged at one of the bandages, wincing as it shifted against his skin. “It
hurts, but it’s not bad. You know it’ll heal up in no time. They’ll give me
some of that weird monster food tomorrow and I’ll be fine.”
they do to you?” You asked softly, catching his hand in your own and holding
onto it tightly. The bandages went all the way up to his shoulders and beneath
parts of his sweater.
nothing, kid. Just branding.” He yanked his arm free and draped it around your
worry about it.” He tugged you over so your head was resting against his chest.
“C’mon, neither of us have gotten much sleep lately. Maybe tonight we can
snooze through Ad’s snoring.”
I don’t snore!”
giggled and tucked your head beneath his chin as the slightly-insulted Ad
leaned against you both, rounding out the cuddle pile. The three of you managed
to sleep through the night for once, despite the worry and pain all three of
were the last to wake that morning. Your little corner of the cage was cold –
Ad and Jump were standing by the door, picking at the nutrition bars the
monsters had dropped off during the night. One of them was wrapped in a bright
green package, which Jump was scarfing down.
you greeted sleepily, shambling over to them. Ad handed you one of the
tasteless bars, and you obligingly nibbled on it, not all that hungry. “How do
you feel, Jump?”
better,” Jump said as he finished off the bar. As soon as it was gone, he began
unwrapping the bandages around his arms. You watched, stunned, as the bloody
fabric fell away.
skin was healed, but marks had been left. Dark lines of ink covered his arms in
complex, intricate patterns. A few spots of blood clung to the curves, but they
flecked off as he flexed and rolled his arms.
did they do t-to you?” You asked, cautiously running a hand over his arm. Ad
was examining the other one closely, tracing the lines with his finger.
Jump explained, pulling his arms away and tugging at the frayed shoulders of
his jumper, where he’d once had sleeves.
sighed, running a hand down his face. “It makes us more ‘desirable’ as pets,”
he huffed. “It makes us ‘unique’ and ‘exotic.’ They do it so they can sell us
You felt a sick pit open in your stomach. “But – but I thought King Asgore
outlawed the selling of Readers – we’re sentient! Just as smart as them! We’re
only allowed to be adopted, no sold.”
that to them,” Jump hissed, motioning to the monsters who had just entered. “They
don’t care – they just want gold.”
and Jump both sighed, finishing their food and dropping the wrappers in the little
box the monsters delivered the food in. “I’m going back to sleep,” Jump huffed,
returning to his corner. He shouldered past you, and you couldn’t help but
stare after him, a little hurt.
take it personally,” Ad assured you, hugging you tightly. “He’ll feel better
later, once he’s use to them.” One last squeeze and he wandered over to the other
corner, slumping down with a tired sigh. Neither of them were fast enough to
grab you when the cage door was yanked open and you were grabbed.
squeaked as you were squeezed. The monster who had grabbed you – the same red
dragon from the day before – relatched the cage door and strode from the room.
He held his hand at his chest, though not close enough so you were touching. In
fact, he even seemed a bit sick at the idea of touching you with his bare
of the room with the cages was a long hallway with bright lights and ugly,
artsy prints on the wall. Beside the door you’d been brought through was the
words ‘Storage Center.’ Other doors were labeled as ‘Storage Room #’ or ‘Office
#.’ The dragon carried you past all of these to a door with a small window in
it at the end of the hall.
the room was several tall tables – almost as chin height for a standard-height
monster. Each one had a small padded gurney on it with tiny, Reader-sized
restraints. There were needles and inks all over the room, as well as dyes,
scissors, knives, and other tools you’d never seen before. At one of the tables
was a tall monster dressed in a black labcoat over a white turtleneck.
got number J-24 for you, sir.” The dragon moved to the table nearest the man
and dropped you roughly on top of the tiny padded gurney.
monster turned to smile at the dragon. His heads and hands were bone – a skeleton
monster of some kind. There were lines along his face – one arching up from his
right eye, the other dropping from his left eye to the corner of his mouth. A
pair of slim, rectangular glasses were attached to his face (somehow – he had
thank you, Burner.” His hands moved quickly, and before you could move from the
gurney he had you strapped down, the leather restraints holding you tight
against the plush surface. Your arms were attached to armrests that could be
moved up, down, out, and in.
thing, Dr. Gaster. This the only one you need today?”
thank you.” The skeleton waved him off, turning all his attention to you. His
fingers – long, thin, dainty – easily tore off the sleeves of your sweater,
exposing your arms. He picked up what looked like a tiny gun with a needle
instead of a muzzle. A small bottle of purple ink was attached to it. “Alright
then, J-24. Let’s get started, shall we?”
It'll be all right, Chip. We understand you need to take a minute, take a breath. There are certain people who know about this sort of thing. Some embrace it 100%, some accept it, some want nothing to do with it. All reactions are understandable. I don't know if we can do much more for you than be of comfort, but if there's something you want or need of us let, just ask. We have a, ah.. Bit of magic of our own. [Echo sends Chip a new cup of coffee.]
“… Thanks. I think I just need a minute, but the coffee’ll help too, probably.”
“If I can ask one thing of you guys, though? Just so I feel a little less of an idiot? I mean, I took a good look around this place, lookin’ for an exit, but the doors are blocked, there ain’t no windows, and… well… ”
* Chip makes a vague shape of something with his white bullets
“… I keep seein’ these around the place. There’s maybe two of three of ‘em, but not all of ‘em have the metal ‘ears’… ”
“…So are these some kinda ‘detachable window’? Like the ‘detachable peephole’ you guys’re lookin’ at me with?”
Welllll Uhhh... Slight problem with getting you out of here. Normally it would be as easy for some of us as blinking to send you home, but you got dragged here by powers beyond our control, The kind of powers that be that make even time and space their toy, so you'll probably have to make yourself comfortable for now. Good thing is, as long as you dont meet anyone from any of the other timelines, you should be relatively safe and sane, just watch out for the cartoons.
“… Well if that’s really how it is, I guess I got no choice but to trust youse guys. But you can call me ‘Chip’… I actually don’t like my ‘real’ name all that much… ”
“It, uh, never really felt like it fit, y’know? There’s, uh, a lotta things that don’t fit for me, an’… I guess if there are other worlds with other me’s, where things turned out kinda different… well, maybe they got a luckier start than I did… ”
“But, uh… is this where I live? ‘Cause, uh, I’m pretty sure I’m too poor to even know what half this stuff around me even is.”
“Well, first thing ya notice when ya meet him is the big chunk of face he’s got missin’. He got hurt usin’ whatever magical stuff he’s got in his lab, an’ I think it killed whatever self-preservation the crazy bastard once had.
The guy smokes cigarettes right there in the lab, under the ‘no smokin’ sign.”
“An’ worse, he even eats in there. One time he sent me out to get somethin’ for him that turned out to be his lunch order - an’ I was pretty pissed off at bein’ used like that. But as I turned to leave, well, if not for my quick reflexes and Blue Magic, he wouldla sprinkled some kinda mystery liquid all over his sandwich instead’a Tabasco.”
“Would’a served him right if I hadn’t stepped in… but ever since then, he keeps bein’ weird. He even once insisted we meet in a place he apparently frequents… and while it was segregated, as is the law, there were humans there. An’ he acted like we were on some kinda date.”
“He’s just crazy. He ain’t like, dangerous to nobody, ‘cept maybe himself - but he’s weird, kinda annoying, doesn’t wash his hands before a meal, an’ he keeps holdin’ me up every time I gotta pick up or drop off to do. I keep tellin’ him I ain’t got the time, but he always tries to make me stay!”