Moana: Treasure Trove

Here it is! A stash of Moana fics that I wrote over the past six months that, for various reasons, never saw the light of day. This is part one of two!

Keep reading

hey brother

A gift for @paperjam-bipper

Moana sat on the edge of the canoe, her legs in the water, watching the unfamiliar island. Her parents had gone out at noon, looking for the source of the smoke they had seen on their way in, and the bright little lights on the mountainside. The sun was starting to set, and they weren’t back yet.

There was a flutter of wings, a splash, a muffled curse, and the sound of a disgruntled demigod climbing onto the canoe. Moana grinned to herself.

“Hey, Maui.”

The boat rocked when Maui sat down, flinging his arm around Moana’s shoulders. Anyone else would have buckled under the weight, but the Chief of Motunui was used to the demigod’s surprise attacks, and just laughed.

“Are your parents back yet, Curly?” he pulled her against him a little, and the anxious knot in her stomach unraveled.

“Yes, they’re just invisible,” Moana said, closing her eyes and leaning into Maui’s shoulder. He laughed softly and pulled her closer still.

“Sure they are. And they just left you to shiver.”

“Is that why you’re cuddling me?”

Maui chuckled sheepishly, like a child caught with something sweet before dinner, and shifted so he could wrap both arms around her. “It’s one of the reasons.”

“Maui!” she laughed, but she tucked herself into his arms obligingly, throwing her legs over his lap.

“Hey, if you were alone for a thousand years, you’d be touch-starved too.”

Moana blinked, pulling away slightly. “Maui, it’s been three years,”

“I’ve got a lot of time to make up for,” he shot back, but the defensiveness melted when she curled against him, and they fell into a comfortable silence.

The stars were fading into view by the time Tui and Sina emerged from the forest, smiling but nervous, followed by a tattooed stranger in a headdress. Sina waded the two steps to their canoe, grabbing Moana’s arm before she could run toward the shore.

“There’s one thing you need to be aware of, Moana. These villagers have a different belief system than us. They don’t believe in gods, or demigods.” She glanced uncomfortably at Maui, who smiled back widely.

“That’s fine,” he stood, resting his elbow on Moana’s head and kicking his fishhook backward on the boat, out of view. “I’ll just be the Chief’s brother.”

Moana stared at him, surprise, confusion, and adoration mixing on her face, until she threw her arms around his neck, toes dragging in the water as she hung on to him. Maui laughed, loud and unbothered, and tossed her onto the sand. She scrambled to her feet and threw a handful of sand at him, shrieking with laughter. Maui barreled into her, throwing her over his shoulder and spinning in a circle before dumping her back on her feet.

“I’m Moana, Chief of Motunui.” Moana giggled. “And this is my brother Maui.”

Maui bowed, then straightened and gave the man in the headdress a winning smile, tossing his hair over his shoulder. “Nice to meet you.”

Tes Lacets Sont Des Fees by Dionysos

… Does anyone remember that strange music video on YouTube? Now before you show me any disturbing videos you know, I’m talking about one that was introduced to me by my kouhai @polycrystalies a couple of years ago.

The song is “Tes Lacets Sont Des Fees”, a French song by the band Dionysos. It’s a pun/play on words where it literally means “Your shoelaces are fairies”, but it could also mean “Your shoelaces are untied”. Not harmful, right?

… You didn’t remember the strange music video on YouTube before they shut it down. ((which I’m ticked off over)). I think it might be on Dailymotion or another website though.

Try this scenario: A giant red man who looks like the devil (I think in the album, he’s called Jack) is walking all over the city until he hears music and lifts up the roof to a concert hall to find a hula dancer girl (with no top) dancing to the ukulele of a bird-man with a Hawaiian shirt on…

… I am not kidding.

Jack falls in love with the woman and picks her up. She dances for him and he enjoys it. Bird man and dancer are a couple and they kiss. Jack is not pleased and blows the bird away. Bird tries to get the girl back through music, but Jack eats him. The dancer girl gets angry, but Jack eats her too. And it turns out inside Jack’s stomach is an island with the ocean and everything. The bird man is okay. The couple kiss and they sing and dance inside the stomach of the giant, who’s probably walking off to cause a rampage or something. The end.


It was so weird, yet I liked it in both the vore sense and the giant g/t sense. It’s an upbeat tune and the visuals are pretty nice.

Unpopular opinion: I had the weird idea of Giant Human Tamatoa in our world, but if he eats you, there’s actually Lalotai inside him…

…. IGNORE ME! I’ll be hiding in the corner of shame!

//goes to the corner and thinks about what she’s done//