We met our neighbors the other night. I talked a lot with one of them, and he sketchily invited me to hang out at his house & “watch Netflix” after everybody left my party. Now, maybe I’m wrong, but I think a drunken invite to “watch Netflix” means he wants to bone me. Just to clarify, I did not go hang out with him later. So today, my roommates get home to find a mysterious bag of baguettes & sliced wheat bread on our porch couch. After being confused for awhile, my roommates remember that our neighbor works at Jimmy Johns. They realize that he probably left it there for us. No note, just a sketchy ass bag of bread. So we decided that it was meant as a dowry. I don’t know if I can ever to go Jimmy Johns or talk to our neighbors ever again. Or at least not without laughing & being thoroughly uncomfortable. So that is my story of the day. I hope you found it half as amusing as we do.