Dungeon Crawl Classic Shenanigans

K: So I’ve got an Oil Flask if we encounter something dangerous.

R: Don’t you also have a cart full of dead people?

K: Yes? Oh, that’s disturbing.

DM: You find a burial chamber.

K: We have more dead people for the dead cart!

Y: Yay!

DM: You kneecap the snake.

R: Brazier, not brassiere. You put fire in it instead of boobs.

anonymous asked:

So I have a very strange head canon I think you'll like for klance, basically lance is amazing at DIY crafts, he's very detail oriented and before him and Keith got dating he made Keith some cute gifts and would leave them for Keith outside his room

yes! im here for this. more lance & crafts because why not:

  • he is the arts & crafts god when it comes to babysitting his younger siblings
  • lance loves glitter and loves putting it on things that he makes 
  • (u can often find glitter peppered across his face and hands sometimes. keith calls them his glitter freckles)
  • lance is like a friendship bracelet making sweatshop ok that kid loves making friendship bracelets because he finds it lowkey therapeutic and it gives him an opportunity to show appreciation to his friends/family
  • team vld all have matching bracelets he made in their respective colours
  • but lance & keith have their own matching ones that he made for them after an exhausting battle they had (before they started dating) 
  • he can definitely knit and he knits his friends/family socks/sweaters/throw blankets for christmas 
  • macaroni art? thats his shit
  • hes also probably really good at scrapbooking 
  • he also makes his own cards for holidays/events so it feels more personal
  • basically he loves doing little diy things because it allows him to use his hands a lot and keep them occupied and helps when hes feeling down

anonymous asked:

He tells himself it doesn't matter that her eyes are green. That her hair is too long. That he's imagining fuller, rounder curves where her body is lithe. That the hand stroking his dick, twisting and tugging just right until he has to keep from thrusting into it, is not the one that pulled any levers or tended to his wounds or held his against her shoulder as he comforted her. When he comes, he tries not to think of anything at all. But when he closes his eyes, all he can see is Clarke.


Eventually, Samantha catches on as she hears quiet giggles coming from the women nearby. She immediately recognizes the women, having seen them at her mother’s various dinner parties and events. She feels a pang of regret as she quickly looks away again, hoping that the women will leave her be.

“That’s Veronica Braxton’s daughter, isn’t it?” One of the ladies eventually says just loud enough for Samantha to hear. After the woman next to her nods, the first lady continues. “I hear she got knocked up and ran away. I’ve heard rumors that the butler may be the father of the child. And to think we were convinced that Veronica knew how to raise a child? I’m glad my daughters aren’t like this.”


Eventually, Samantha gets enough of listening to the women whispering about her. She gives them a glance, her eyes meeting with the redheaded woman who simply huffs and looks away. With shaky legs, Samantha gets up and leaves the park without a word. As she walks away, she feels the stares of the four women basically burning into her back. While she can no longer hear what the women are saying, she knows it’s everything but nice.