Written for @ilgaksu for the @aftgexchange, for the request “anything to do with media reactions to their pro careers/the MINYARD-JOSTEN RIVALRY” – I had waaaay too much fun with this, turns out I could write a million words of fake media articles about these two???
Note: I used some of Nora’s expanded canon in regard to Andrew and Neil’s pro-careers; this is set right before Andrew’s second season as a pro, and Neil’s first. I took liberties with team names/locations.
[rated T for some mild swearing. Implied Andrew/Neil. 5400 words, epistolary/mixed media]
I hope you enjoy reading!
It is fitting that Josten is set to don a Dragons’ uniform. Like his new mascot, Josten is a fire-breathing, relentless, somewhat mythical creature whose very existence seems larger than life. And Minyard is the perfect manifestation of a Cyclone; an inescapable, violent maelstrom of unpredictability, where your only chance of survival is to hunker down and wait out the storm.
What happens when a dragon battles a force of nature? That’s what we’re all waiting to find out.
How do you HC courts ethnicity/race/features wise?
Night court - mixed. They’re very diverse. White, tanned, darker brown, all skin tones you can find. And with different facial features also. Women dressed in crop tops and long skirts. But I HC Illyrians as Middle eastern or Latino or Polynesian. I haven’t decided yet. But definitely tanned. And they dress in leathers
Day court - dark skin. African tribal style clothing and makeup/body paint (idk how it’s called but you know what I mean)
Dawn court - Indian or Egyptian skin tone, features, clothing and makeup
Spring court - white with all hair and eye colours
Autumn court - white with also different hair colours but mostly ginger
Summer court - dark skin. And I HC that they wear light colours. White, light blue pink and yellow. And I HC them as super sophisticated for some reason idk how to explain
Winter court - East Asian features, super pale, all dressed in white and grey
“You humans do so love to sort and label us, to place the fae into tidy little boxes. Summer or winter, day or night, sweet or wicked. But the lines are not truly so clear, and we both know it. The simple truth is, we are not human. Our rules are not yours, and we are not so easily defined.”
An extension of my 8tracks Unseelie mixes, I’ve collected these two Spotify playlists. Each has nearly 200 songs intended to be played as a shuffled mix, and is subject to frequent additions.
Lilting celtic melodies and ethereal electronica tracks. Otherwordly, transcendent music for a dance within a faery ring, sunlight filtering through young green leaves. Pale pink roses with a sweet, sweet fragrance that hides the tiny, piercing thorns that lie beneath. Gently babbling streams, icy cold and lined with razor-sharp pebbles.
Deep and sultry tracks, with haunting strings or minor key piano melodies, rich synth beats, and slow, pulsing bass like the beat of a human heart. Bargains made by moonlight, promises of pleasures as irresistible as they are cruel. The glint of sharp, sharp teeth in the shadows. Wine the color of freshly spilled blood, sweet and spicy and worth the deadly price.
Could I have some headcanons about a male orc trying to court a small feminine s/o? But like. Humor me. Show me some Orc courting standards if you feel like making them up (^◇^；) if not then that's fine!
He absolutely is a more traditional man. This means he often shows off in front of you, and does ‘affection spars’ in your name- which means he beats up anyone who so much as even LOOKS at you wrong.
He also LOVES how small you are. Because he can carry you around on just a bicep. Everyone seems to love watching it- whether because it’s absolutely adorable, or because orcs just tend to love shows of strength.
Of course, he tries to mix in some human courting techniques. With his own, of course! Which means you often see him giving you a bouquet of flowers, whilst having another man in a chokehold. Oh, young love!
He’s honestly a huge dork about the entire thing, too. He acts full of himself, until you start to show interest- in which case, he starts to get more stuttery and flustered about the whole ordeal. Don’t even get him started on what happens when you decide to give him a little cheek kiss!
What do the various hangers-on and other minor members of the court who seem to have no actual function do with their days? Are they doing work in the background or simply lounging around the Red Keep whenever court is not in session?
A big part of what they’re there for is access. Since royal politics is far more organized around proximity to the person of the monarch and, further out from there, proximity to people who are proximate to the person of the monarch, just being around the court means that you can present petitions, ask for favors or money (you’d be amazed at how good nobility were at mooching), and (more importantly) get money from less important people for doing it for them. (There’s not a huge difference between being a courtier without office and being a lobbyist.) But mostly, you’re hanging around waiting to be noticed and given your big break, just like show business.
So while you wait, a big part of your life is entertainment. Remember, these hangers-on are nobility; by definition, they don’t work for a living and would be horribly offended if you suggested that they should. So they have money from the family’s estates, and they spend their lives in the pursuit of pleasure - and to do that, you need a big enough concentration of highborn folks that you can do social events. So there’s hunting, feasting and drinking (and other recreational substances), dancing, having affairs, GAMBLING (for reckless gamblers, you really can’t beat that combination of cultural disdain for money and aristocratic competitiveness), amateur and professional arts, and other organized activities, and some of them are socialized as male and some as female and some as mixed (because courts are also marriage markets, because one of the ways that people who don’t work make their way in life is by marrying well). And as smart people like @goodqueenaly and @nobodysuspectsthebutterfly have written about, these entertainments had symbolic political functions, which is why people paid for them to happen.
And another big part? Gossip, rumor, and public opinion. In the absence of a news media, it’s handy to have a big group of well-connected people who have nothing to do but talk about what’s going on. You’d better bet that there are ambassadors who hang out with or pay courtiers-without-office for the latest scuttlebut about what the king and his family and his officials are up to, so there’s real value here. Likewise, if you’re the king, the royal family, and the government, without any way to assess public opinion, the court is the only sounding board you have - and it’s a sounding board that is connected to the broader political class, because all of these hangers-on will talk to their relatives and peers back home - so it matters if a proclamation or decree or policy is very unpopular at court. And since no one’s getting elected, the standing of any official is their popularity with the court, so rumor could “make or mar.”
So that’s what the idle rich did with their lives.