Obama and Mitt Romney stood facing each other in the oval office, moonlight sparking in their eyes. “Obama-senpai…” Romney blushed as he felt the president’s hand touching the side of his cheek. He reached up to Obama’s face and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Obama then reached up to his top button and slowly undid his shirt, revealing row after row of succulent, sparkling breasts. Romney leaned forward and suckled. Obama’s breastmilk tasted of freedom, equality, and hope for America.