mitt happens

Guess who’s back | Mitte & Bambi

So Mitte had returned from London and thrown herself right into scheming with Chester. It had been a while before she’d even stopped to think about Bambi, and making him aware of her return. Honestly part of her whispered that the longer she could avoid him the more time she had to change her mind and fuck off again, should Chesters’ plans turn out to be less than interesting.

Then the mind-fuck that was Swynlake’s April fools joke had happened, and Mitte had just needed a few days to get her brain back into the right place.It had really stung to have a tempting future as a professional quidditch player dangled in her face only to be thrown back into her reality, as if magick was only mocking her. 

Now though, Mitte just missed her brother. And she knew that education was kind of important, but fuck it, Bambi could miss one day to hang with her by the lake and catch up on the crazy that had been recent months. She had an insistent urge to make sure he knew that she was back.

So cheesy as this stunt was, Mitte was sure Bambi would appreciate it. The school security was shitty and so she had no problem figuring out Bambi’s schedule. His classroom came with a view of the football field, how convinient. 

From then it was easy, Mitte stood out there with her makeshift ‘school is for nerds’ sign, and sent Bambi a text instructing him to check out the window. 

Maybe a little theatricality would convince him to cut class better than a simpel text would.

@bbambi-deerest

Imagine Baking a Pie and Dean is Distracting You

*WARNING THERE IS SMUT*
Dean x reader

You are just rolling the dough on the table and you suddenly feel hands slip around your waist. You gasp and then look back, seeing this green eyed dream boat looking into your eyes.

“Dean, I’m baking, not right now.” You say with a giggle escaping your lips. He kissing your jaw line and rubs small circles into your hips. You let out a sigh and the circles send shivers down your spine.

“Fine.” He says as he steps away and watches you make apple pie.

As you slice the apples, you give glances to Dean as he rolls out more dough for the top of the pie. He gets a bunch of flour on his shirt and whips it off revealing his gorgeous figure. Your eyes become fixed onto to him as you slice and dice and don’t pay attention. You bite your lip and from not paying attention you cut your finger.

“Ouch!” You blurt, clutching your finger. Dean looks to you and smirks a little.

“A bit distracted, Babe?” He asks chuckling. You blush an apple red and nod vigorously.

“You have to do that shirtless?” You ask as you go to the sink to clean your cut. He comes up behind you and rubs your sides.

“I didn’t ask you to stare.” He says shooting you a smirk. You spin yourself around and he kisses your lips, holding you close. He picks you up and sits you on the counter next to the sink and you wrap your legs around his waist.

“Mr. Winchester, that pie isn’t going to bake itself.” You say trying to jump off, but Dean keeps you there. He grabs some flour on the table and then touches your face, leaving bright, white hand prints on your cheeks. You laugh and he does as well. You then kiss him as you get off the counter and sneak yourself to the cabinet to grab a band aid. You put it on and then the both of you go back to the pie.

When you pop it in the oven you set the time and then look at your hunting hero and go up to him. You stare at his nose for a bit.

“You’ve got some flour,” you say, as you lie to him. “Right there,” you then tap his nose and there’s flour on his nose. You giggle and he looks at you your floury hand. He grabs you and swings you over his shoulder.

He brings you to the bedroom and slams you on the bed. You laugh and he climbs over you.

“You really don’t take no for an answer, do you?” You ask smirking. Dean then unclips your skirt and you squirm out of it. You take your shirt off and you’re only in your bra and panties. Dean strips out of his jeans and starts kissing your chest, wrapping his arms around to unclasp your bra. Your mind is focused on this and only this, you completely forget about your pie. He then takes your underwear off and leaves love marks on your chest.

“I’ve wanted this all day, when you bake it just,” he then thrusts into you. You let out a gasp and you grip onto your shoulders. He eases his length in and out of you. The sensation is flowing through you.

“Dean,” you say as you call out his name. He thrusts harder and faster and you respond as you kiss her chest, trailing to his lips. You bite his bottom lip and he sucks onto your. You tangle your fingers in his short hair. He hits your sweet spot by going deeper. You let out a loud moan and you’re ready let go.

“I’m,” you are managed to say.

“Almost there Baby.” He says going even faster and harder. Your heart is racing at the speed of sound, you’re ready and just wanting him to get to your climax. Your legs are buckling as he goes his maximum speed.

“Oh god!” He let’s out as he let’s go, you do the same and you both moan not hearing the ding of the timer. He pulls out and lays beside you. You both are out of breath and look at one another.

“That, that was great.” You say between breaths. You cuddle up to his tattoo and kiss it. He wraps his arm around you and you both fall asleep.

An hour passes and you wake up to the smell of burning. You gasp and sit up, as you grab one of Dean’s shirts on the floor and slip it on, running to the kitchen.

“Fuck!” You yell turning the oven off. You hear Dean thumping in as you grab oven mitts.

“(y/n), what happened?” He asks. You take the pie out and its burnt. You sigh and look over to Dean who is naked.

“We burnt the pie.” You say with your hands on your hips with the mitts still on. He goes over to you and kisses you on the lips, sliding his hands on your bare backside underneath the shirt.

“I think we shouldn’t bake together, I get too distracted.” He says with a chuckle. You bite your lip and then look at the pie.

“Yeah, but its not too bad.” You say with giggling following your statement. You both kiss once more and hear the door open, that makes you jump and you see Sam walk in. He looks at the both of you.

“Do I want to know what happened here?” Sam asks. “You know what, I’m going to just go to my room.” He says walking away fast. Dean and you laugh and both get dressed, make dinner and for dessert, the three of you have some burned apple pie.

When you’re playing a video game and you get a certain quantity of money in it and you decide that you don’t want to fall below that quantity

But as you reach higher financial milestones your “minimum” gets higher and higher, until you’re like “I just can’t fall below 2 million gold.”

And then you wonder …

Is this what happened to Mitt Romney?

This is purely for comedy but

Hear me out. So imagine that Rose (or anyone really) becomes an Akuma because one of the teachers calls her childish and wants her to be more mature. And her power is:
Turning everyone into small children.

And she starts turning all the adults into children being like “who needs to be more mature now!?”

And then when Ladybug and Chat show up, Chat uses his his Cataclysm for something and then gets turned into a toddler in a Chat costume.

Ladybug runs away and tries to revert it but can’t and now she’s stuck fighting without him.

Cue inner dilemma. If she waits long enough his transformation will wear off, letting her see who Chat is without him even knowing it. But that’s wrong…

(In my mind she wouldn’t do it so I’m continuing assuming she doesn’t)

So then she has to think of a plan while adults and teens alike are being turned years back. While at the same time wondering what to do with this toddler Chat who seems to only want to get into trouble/danger.

So then she goes into battle, keeping the adorable Chat hidden away.

(Bonus points if Chat is the reason they win)

(This is what happens when you say your inbox is empty XD)

Submitted by @paperrabbitmoon

The Burnt Couch on Jason Street

Fox Mulgrew thinks he’s a pretty reasonable person. He’s on team yellow so like, he’s pretty chill. It took him a whole week to level up to ten, and he hasn’t gone running around screaming about charizards at six in the morning which is more than he can say for his little brother.

He imagines his fellow lacrosse players are going to be more chill about it when he gets back to Samwell for the pre-season. He gets out of the car and discovers Chad, Chaz, Mitt, and Brad standing on the front porch looking suspiciously across the street at the SMH team’s house. There’s a scorch mark on the front yard that Fox can’t explain, and all four of his teammates are staring at it apprehensively.

“What’s up?” Fox asks, feeling his phone ding in his pocket. He pulls it out and glances at the new pokestop that’s just cropped up. It’s not quite close enough for him to spin the disc, but when he clicks on it, it shows a picture of a green couch on fire and he’s pretty sure that’s the best pokestop he’s ever seen.

“The hockey house is a pokestop,” Chad says. “And it’s not close enough for us to get it.”

“Why is the picture a couch on fire?” Fox asks.

“Their new captain? The tiny blond kid? First day of pre-season, he got the others to drag it out to the front lawn and lit it on fucking fire,” Mitt explains. “Google happened to be going by while it burned.”

Fox takes in all of their terrified, quivering forms and sighs.

“Give me your phones,” he commands, collecting all their iPhones and then Chaz’s android that prevents them from naming the group chat.

They beg him not to as he crosses the street.

He discovers that he only has to be on the very edge of the lawn in order to spin the disc, but with five phones in hand, it takes a little longer than he’d like. It takes long enough that one of the hockey players comes out onto the front porch and stares at him with one raised eyebrow.

“Sup,” Fox says, giving him a bro nod.

“What team are you?” the hockey player asks, crossing his arms.

He’s kind of hot, Fox notices. Dark eyes with matching hair in a perfectly maintained undercut, nicely dressed, and plus he plays hockey and Fox might necessarily hate the hockey team because he’s a lacrosse player, but that hasn’t stopped him from reading ESPN’s body issue when it comes out and the hockey players are always worth it.

“Instinct,” Fox says, spinning Chaz’s phone. “You?”

“Valour,” the hockey bro says. He looks across the street at the lacrosse house. “Are you the only one brave enough to cross the street?”

“Yeah,” Fox says. The hockey bro smirks. “What’s your name?”

“Whiskey,” the hockey bro says.

“Seriously?” Fox asks. “What about that other kid on your team who’s always asking every question forever? He was in my intro to poli-sci class last year.”

“Tango,” Whiskey replies.

“Seriously?” Fox asks again.

“Yeah,” Whiskey says. “Who are you?”

“Foxtrot,” he hears himself say, even though that is not the correct answer. His name is just Fox.

But Whiskey is smirking again and Fox kind of likes it a lot more than he should.

“Nice to meet you Foxtrot,” Whiskey says. “I guess we’ll be seeing you around.”

And yeah, Fox can really go for that.

anonymous asked:

What do you think about Hillary Clinton allegedly taking part in a racial joke?

If Hillary knew that Mayor de Blasio was telling that “joke” about CP time, it was really, really dumb, and I think she did know because she was too quick with the “cautious politician time” response for that not to have been written for her (in my opinion). For a lot of people that might be an embarrassing and inappropriate situation, but in a Presidential campaign, things like that can be very damaging. Just look at what happened with Mitt Romney and his comment about the 47%, or Obama talking about voters “cling to their guns or religion” – those little stumbles can resonate with a lot of people. 

That was shitty advance work by Hillary’s campaign if they didn’t know the joke was coming, but this is a Presidential campaign, so I’’m almost certain that Hillary didn’t go up there blind. She must have known that joke was coming because she had a quick response for it, so that can’t even be blamed on poor advance work – she’s personally at fault in that case. And de Blasio never should have put her in that position. The Mayor never should have put himself in that position either. Even if you are married to a black woman and have bi-racial children, as Mayor de Blasio does, you don’t get a free pass on race. That’s the type of “joke” or remark someone makes when they have irrational confidence about how they are perceived by people from other ethnic groups; it’s almost a form of cultural arrogance, as if de Blasio feels like he can say something racially insensitive because he can always pull the “I have a black family” card. At the very least, it is cultural clumsiness. That’s not okay. When you’re the Mayor of the nation’s largest city, you’ve got to set an example and stay in your lane.

(Also, props to Leslie Odom, Jr., for immediately calling the Mayor out on the “joke”. I don’t know if LO Jr’s response was also in the skit’s dialogue, but it felt real and was definitely what needed to be said. Props to the audience, too. They let that “joke” DIE in the room. It got the exact response that it deserved from the audience.)