my fault

I messed up. I probably messed it up. eh, not probably I did. but they weren’t HUGE mistakes. I think. here:

1) I was at DePaul and I was at a party, and I was having fun. I had some drinks. & I guess my mind wasn’t rational anymore. Thanks to timehop I learned that today was the 1 year anniversary of me asking her to Homecoming. Since I was drunk, I drunk texted her. EVEN WORSE. she was at the same place I had asked her, so that made it worse. I drunk texted her, and I was drunk so my texts weren’t the nicest things in the world. but that’s not me. that was my first real time drinking, and I didn’t know how to control. I wanted to have fun, I was sad, depressed I needed a day off, but it cost me. 2nd biggest mistake.

2) Her and other people told me that she was talking to some new guy (let’s call him X). This made me want to jump in front of a moving semi truck. I was so depressed, I went on instagram and chose the first girl I saw, and messaged her. we talked for like an hour and it was done. and talking to her made me even worse because she was such a B word, and like that made me miss her more. But, anyways she found out I did this. That set off a whole new spiral. But I never had any intentions with her. I just heard things, I was do distraught I reacted. It was the worse mistake I have made. 

None of these were intentional, and I just reacted. Yes, I reacted poorly but I was in love.