mister mom

Let’s be honest, when there is a hole in one of their shirts they both just try to ignore it and often just put it back in with the others, then when they pull it out to put on for a party it’s like “oh, that’s the one with the hole” or something. Nothing big.

The thing is, though, now there is a hole in the freaking jesus shirt. The shirt in question is carefully spread out between them on their small table, both looking at it with concern and defeat.

“We could ask Eskild to sew it?” Isak’s suggestion sounds more like a question.

Even shakes his head “We’d never get it back.”

Even shrugs. “My mom?” Isak nods once. “Your mom.”

And that, kids, is how Liv Bech Næsheim saves the jesus shirt.

My Favorite What If - Part 1

Masterlist Part 2

Summary: You run into your childhood friend Steve and wonder if you’ve missed out on a good thing.

Prompt(s): for @tatortot2701 ’s AU Writing Challenge!: “Please don’t tell me you got arrested again.”

Warnings: couple of swear words because it’s me, that’s all. :)

Word Count: 3078

Author’s Note: italics are memories/flashbacks. I loved this when I started then I’m not so sure about it… I’m mostly nervous to be back after such a long time away from writing. Oh well, nothing to it but to do it, so here it is. Some angst and floof. Also thanks to @denialanderror, that b who points out my typos. :) Thanks for your help on this one.

Originally posted by forassgard

The courthouse is a flurry of activity at this hour. Soon it’ll settle into the quiet drone of transcripts hammered out on antiquated technology, heavy doors groaning open and thundering shut as accused and accusers alike rotate in and out of courtrooms. There’s almost a peace to it for you, the steady rhythm of it all feels familiar and… normal.

You’d learned long ago that courthouses are far more mundane than Law & Order would have everyone believe. The truth is people filter in and out, arguing over traffic stops and staring each other down over divorce proceedings, sentences and decisions moving across the desks of bored judges faster than the papers can move, and all of it so incredibly commonplace. So incredibly boring.

But boring is good. It is for you, at least. Having spent time on more than one side of a courtroom, it’s a familiar place, and a safe one. Clutching today’s case file you ease back until your shoulders and head reach the marble wall behind you and you let your eyes drift closed, waiting to be called.

The tension just begins to slip from your shoulders when a booming happy voice echoes off the stone all around you, drawing your attention. You know it’s calling for you because it’s a familiar voice, so very familiar you’d never forget it. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head in surprise, your jaw falling open when you turn to finally look at him.

Please don’t tell me you got arrested again,” he teases, approaching you with arms outstretched and a broad grin. “My caseload is full, and you know my mom’ll kill me if I post your bail again.”

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“Mother, there is no other like mother. So, treat her right!”

Words of Mother’s Day wisdom from noted philosopher, Mr. T

Distance - Brady Skjei

distance makes the heart grow fonder

for anon

lowercase intended

word count: 1789

warnings: suggestive comment, two (2) cursewords

note: tumblr keeps glitching and taking this out of format, so that’s why it may not look like the others/have a read more cut

a/n: i’d be lying if i said this wasn’t inspired by hey there delilah. and i know it’s “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, buuuut this works better in this case ;) also, i’m posting this because I’m not so sure how I felt about the stromer one. you have my full permission to go and drag me in my asks if these imagines ever start sucking

Originally posted by wonthetrade

you hiked your knees up to your chest and pulled the hood of brady’s rangers sweatshirt over your head. your phone sat in front of you, face up.

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so i was looking up boys fashion on google images and

Most children’s fashion retailers: Good boys, wholesome sweet boys, happy sunshine boys. Have a nice neighborhood boy. Thanks for getting my ball out of that tree, mister! My mom says you should come over for dinner sometime.

Aliexpress: Step aside. You’re not cool enough to talk to me.

Animated Series Tackles Diversity Issues Impacting Young Audiences

When it comes to presenting diverse characters in children’s programming, the latest buzz surrounds “Sesame Street,” which for the first time in its 47-year history features a character with autism. But a closer look reveals that children’s animated shows have been leaders in addressing issues related to race, gender and disabilities. The GLAAD Media Awards this year even recognized two animated programs with nominations: Nickelodeon’s “The Loud House” and Cartoon Networks’ “Steven Universe

“To honor kids’ programming was a big deal,” says “The Loud House” creator Chris Savino, whose show includes an African-American boy with two dads. “We’re making headway. Hopefully in the future this will be something that doesn’t need an award.”

Nickelodeon Group president Cyma Zarghami points to the channel’s history, which long ago featured Mexican-American adventuress Dora the Explorer. “Inclusivity and diversity have been our DNA since day one. The best way to be relevant is to mirror what kids see in their everyday lives.”

This season, “The Loud House” is introducing a character with Down syndrome, while Nick’s new series “Pinky Malinky” stars a girl whose African-American mother owns her own business and Caucasian dad is “mister mom.” And Nick Jr.’s “Nella the Princess Knight” stars a bi-racial character.

It’s a sign of the times, given that demographers expect school-age cartoon viewers to be majority non-white by 2020.

anonymous asked:

You're one of my favorite blogs! I've read every single one of your ML fics and I enjoyed them all immensely. I was wondering if you could write one where Nathalie finds out her employer's identity as Hawkmoth, as well as Adrien's as Chat.

Thank you so much for your comment! Writing a fic just for you!


Nathalie Sancoeur was working late at the Agreste Mansion, like she did most nights, when she heard the sound of a shattering pot from Adrien’s windowsill.

She stopped her pen mid-scribble. That was an unusual sound–the pots near Adrien’s window weren’t particularly close to the edge. It would take a lot more than the slight breeze to knock it over. None of the perimeter alarms had gone off, but… Paris had become significantly more magical in the last few months, and there was no guarantee that security measures would be able to pick up everything.

She put down the documents she was working on and stood, making her way towards Adrien’s room. Just to check on him, mind, just to make sure that everything was all right.

She heard his window opening and broke into a run, slamming open his door–and coming face-to-face with Chat Noir.

She noticed, barely, that the room was empty. That Adrien wasn’t in it. Chat Noir was coming IN, but she’d expected that maybe Adrien had snuck out and was coming back in, which–Lord knows–the boy desperately needed. She would’ve said nothing had that been the case. This? She wasn’t prepared for.

Instead, she said the first thing that came to mind.

“You aren’t my son.”

Chat Noir stared at her. “Your… son?”

Nathalie shook her head. “My… employer’s son. This is Master Adrien’s room. What are YOU doing here?”

Chat didn’t blink. “You called me your son…” he said, a single tear falling from his right eye.

Nathalie clenched her hands into fists, her fingernails biting into her palms. “What are you DOING in our HOUSE?”

Chat blinked. “Claws in,” he said, his voice hoarse. And there, standing framed in the window, was the closest thing to a son she had ever known. Adrien Agreste.

They stared at each other for a moment. “Please don’t be mad at me,” he whispered.

She stepped forward, reaching out to touch his cheek. “Mad at you?” she said. “Adrien, I’m… Are you Chat Noir?”

He nodded, silent.

“Adrien…” she said. “Words can’t express how proud of you I am.”

He fell into her chest, sobbing, and she enfolded him in her arms. “And I know your mother would be proud of you too.”

They stayed there for a minute, hugging each other, Adrien sobbing into her shoulder. Finally, he looked up at her, his face wet with tears and snot. “You…” he began, then snorted, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “You called me your son, earlier,” he said. “Did you mean it?”

She stroked his hair away from his face. “Adrien… I don’t want to replace your mother…”

“Nathalie.” His voice sounded hard, strong. “Please. Tell me…” His voice broke. “Tell me you meant it.”

“Oh, Adrien.” She hugged his head close to her chest. “Of course I did. You’re my son.”

“Thank you,” he said. “Mom.”


Mister Gabriel didn’t need to know about this, of course, she thought. He wouldn’t approve. Still, she should see if he’d heard anything, if he’d seen anything…

The painting at the top of the stairs flashed purple for an instant, and the painting swung open.

Nathalie ducked behind a corner. She’d never seen a room back there, but there were so many secrets that Monsieur Agreste had never told her.

Monsieur Agreste emerged from behind the painting, and for a moment, she caught sight of… a room full of white butterflies?

No, not butterflies. AKUMA.


Maybe they were just butterflies. Maybe finding out that Adrien was Chat Noir was messing with her head.

Nathalie Sancoeur did not get much sleep that night.


the memebros (click the images to see the hidden texts)

My Familiars

Listed by Order of Element | Permalink

Name: Hermes
Element: Air
Date he Entered my Life: 11/10/11
How: I went to check our mail at our then-apartment’s mail room at around midnight while walking my dog.  He was inside, as if he were waiting for me, and immediately jumped into my arms.  Belonging to no one, I determined he was the delivery I needed.
Age: 5 (as of April 2016)
Personality: Hermes is a chatterbox, demanding, spunky, charismatic, sassy and, as the “teenage brat” of the house, will talk back to you if nailed.  He is probably the smartest of the familiars, the most graceful, the fastest, the lightest on his feet and, at a whopping 4′ from toe to toe when stretched, the longest.
Familiarship: Hermes found me, chose me, linked with me and has been a guiding hand as a “don’t do that” voice of reason, known to slap things out of my hand or nag at me when I’m about to do something unwise.  He is primarily associated with my library and will knock an important book off the shelf at the just right time.  His voice when he speaks to me in my head tends to be rather high pitch, whiny, nagging and demanding, but it’s only because he knows better and expects me to as well.  He will also point out disturbances and problems in the house and with spells by pushing the item around or repeatedly “yelling” at the area.

Name: Apollo
Element: Fire
Date he Entered my Life: 11/2/13
How: As a 6-week-old kitten, he called for me from under a walkway on a hot, sunny November day while I was walking my dog. Coincidentally, this was also the exact one year anniversary of my previous fire familiar’s death.
Age: 2  (as of April 2016)
Personality: In complete contrast to my previous fire familiar Nyx, who was a sassy, angry wildfire of a tortie, Apollo is the oozing tar reminiscent of that fire.  He is the more emotional, submissive side - clumsy, needy, passionate, playful, erratic, active and generally the baby of the house. 
Familiarship: Unlike my other familiars, I waited a year before creating a pact with Apollo because I didn’t want to push familiarship on a very young kitten that may have just been a pet.  I wanted him to be mature enough to make that decision for himself.   Apollo does have a medium-pitched guttural voice in my head, but he can only say his name, inhibited by his disabilities.  His inability to speak to me is made up for by his instincts. Apollo doesn’t think about the future or the past but rather right now, and his in-this-moment nature gives way to a subconscious, unintentional wisdom that is necessary for my work.  Apollo is associated with my stones, and I’ve been known to leave my stones on the ground so he can select the right ones for spell work.

Name: Artemis
Element: Water
Date he Entered my Life: 11/20/10
How: I randomly received a phone call on a full moon about a dog needing a home while I was not looking for pet ownership. Half an hour later, he was handed to me through the window of a car.  The experience was surreal.
Age: 7 (as of April 2016)
Personality: Artemis is smart, loyal, empathic, good-at-heart and reminds me of the unconditional love of a young child.  He loves people and generally wants everyone to be happy and get along.  While he rarely ever makes a noise and is in no way aggressive, he is fiercely protective of the house and of me.
Familiarship: Artemis has a very clear mental voice that literally everyone can hear, with a specific unusual accent - he calls me “Mem” instead of “Mom” and my husband “Did” instead of “Dad,” for example.  If you are around him for longer than hour and are receptive to it, you will guaranteed hear his voice.  This is because Artie is so highly empathic that he links with literally everyone.  Despite being much like my toddler, he is positively the grounding force in the house. I live with anxiety and depression, and Artie immediately falls into the caretaker role during episodes (we call this “I eat your sorrow” because he licks tears).  I have had many dogs over the course of my life and none of them have been able to handle one of my meltdowns - at least, not until Artie.  Artie is my calming influence, my grounding center, the most emotionally stable and reliable of all of my familiars and, in general, the best thing that ever happened to me as he led me to all of my other familiars.

Name: Zeus
Element: Earth
Date he Entered my Life: 5/21/11
How: He crawled out of a storm drain during a lightning storm, bypassed my husband, rubbed up against Artemis, grabbed my ankle and flopped on my feet, as if to say “I’ve always been yours.” I had heard raspy meows for weeks and told my husband literally as we walked out the door, “If I find the cat I’ve been hearing, I’m keeping him.”  Zeus was that cat.
Age: 7 (as of April 2016)
Personality: Zeus is the street-smart elder voice of the household, the mature, responsible adult and the Mister Mom of the animals.  He is obsessively loving towards me, though will attempt to act independent in front of guests to an extent (he always breaks).  Where Artie will physically put himself in front of a familiar doing something he shouldn’t, Zeus will use his raspy voice to “yell” at them until they stop.  A boulder of a cat, he’s the weightiest of the familiars.  He walks like a bulldog and is heavy footed, but healthy by the vet’s standards.
Familiarship: Zeus’s been-there, done-that, mellow, all-knowing attitude is strongly rooted in earth and expansive lifetimes, and his raspy, deep, guttural voice gives sage advice.  His voice has the farthest reach: I don’t need to be anywhere near him to hear him.  He has pulled runes, pushed cards out and usually lays down on anything your writing in.  He is the only familiar my husband has been able to get a photo of actively engaging and enforcing spell work:

The Familiars as a Pack

Zeus and Hermes have a relationship and treat Apollo much like their child, where Artie is the best friend and live-in roommate.  They are all one big pack - where you find one, you will find the other three.  They cuddle together, sleep together and generally do pretty much everything together.  This makes the most sense as the four are extensions of me and it would be difficult to have four extensions that are at war with one another.  I find familiarship with multiple animals who dislike one another highly unlikely (though who am I to say it can’t happen?).

Some final notes
Domestic animal familiars are extremely rare.  I don’t see much harm in the misnaming of guardians as familiars as long as they are treated as such and not bonded by a pact.  Creating a pact with a non-familiar can put both you and that animal at risk.  At some point, when I can find a way to discuss pacts that don’t put my own pacts and my own familiars at potential risk, I will make an article about that.

For the time being, here are some important notes:
1. The animal’s life, well being and safety come before all other metaphysical and spiritual connections and needs.
2. Blood pacts should be sought out carefully - certain diseases and medications can and will hurt your pet.
3. While familiars seem “cool” and a “necessary witch accessory,” they are more than just a fashion statement. Having a familiar is exhausting.  You are eternally linked with them, connected with your energy/soul/whatever you want to believe it is that connects you.  It’s like lifting your arm up in the air forever.  Eventually, it gets tiring and it hurts.  As long as you and your familiar have a good exchange of energy, this exhaustion shouldn’t be a major part of your relationship as their energy can hold your metaphorical arm up.  However, it can create deficits at times where your familiar needs more than it can give.
4. Having a true familiar is rare.  Having multiple is even more rare.  Why the hell I have four is beyond me but, you know, there it is.

I feel a drabble coming on….who do you reckon should feature?

C. Evans

Alex Hogh Andersen

Chadwick “Nkosi” Boseman

Micheal B. Jordan


Steve “Light of my Life, The First Avenger-First Main Bae, Baby Got Back (Muscles), Innocently Blue Eyed But ‘You can Call Me Daddy’” Rogers

Bucky “Fuck Me with Your Metal Fingers, My Main Bitch, Bucky with The Good Hair, Fuck Me All the way Up Just by Murder Strutting Your Way Into the Room with a Scowl on Your Face” Barnes

Ivar “I’ve Already Broke You Off Just By Looking At You and Sinisterly Smirking, I have Revlon Worthy Hair, Mister Steal Your Mom, Mister Steal Yo Wife, I’m Bloodthirsty and Dysfunctional but You Gon’ This Dick” Lothbrok

King T’Challa “I Do the Thing That Makes the Pots to Be Done when I Slink Across the Road and Extend My Claws to Wet Ya Panties, The Main Bae of our Royal African Kingdom, The Nation’s Boyfriend, The Continent’s Husband, Wakanda, Africa” Our King, King T’Challa, Hallelujah, Hosanna. Amen

Erik “Bad-Bad, I-Know-I-Shouldn’t-Play-With-Demons, Fuck Her Right in the Pussy” Killmonger 

Aaaand, GO!!

Shrek the Musical [Starter Prompts]
  • Watch out for men with pitchforks!
  • I’m happy where I am, all alone, so read the stinkin’ sign.
  • Life is disappointing. Woe is what I know.
  • I have a glandular condition.
  • I always dreamed I get an ever after, and if this is it, it blows!
  • I did six years in solitary for impersonating a pinata.
  • You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak ╾ well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together.
  • You need a pal, my calender’s open!
  • I’m gonna be on you like a fat kid on cake.
  • I’m not the monster here, you are!
  • I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight.
  • I know it’s today.
  • Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your ╾ face.
  • We all have our standards, but I will have perfection.
  • Parfaits might be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
  • Sing a song, yes a travel song, when you gotta go somewhere ‘cause the fun is getting there.
  • This ass of mine is asinine.
  • Hey look, a cat who’s wearing boots! That’s crazy!
  • You need to brush up on fairy tales friend, 'cause dragons like their sleep.
  • Oh jeez, I’m like a crackpot magnet!
  • Well, I have to save my ass.
  • What you got against the whole world?
  • I guess I’d be a hero, with sword and armor clashing, looking semi-dashing, a shield within my grip.
  • Or I could be a poet and write a different story; one that tells of glory and wipes away the lies.
  • A big bright beautiful world ╾ but not for me.
  • You’re all alone.
  • I’ve always been a morning person, a morning girl ╾ hooray!
  • I think you need to change your tune, mister.
  • My dad and mom sent me away ╾ it was my birthday.
  • I think I got you beat.
  • Daddy was grumpy.
  • You gotta make a move and don’t be afraid.
  • What is wrong with you?
  • Oh my God, you ate the princess?!
  • When words fail, will I fail too?
  • She sees me like no one else has.
  • Who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly?
  • I’m gonna build me a wall. I’ll make it ten feet high.
  • Can’t you take a hint? Am I getting through at all? Just get out of here!
  • How lucky both our wishes came true.
  • Oh, grow up!
  • You’re thirty-four and need a shave!
  • We need to get off our fluffy butts and do something!
  • Let your freak flag wave; let your freak flag fly!
  • It’s not a choice you made, it’s just how you were hatched.
  • What makes us special makes us strong.
  • You’re so wrapped up in layers, Onion Boy, you’re afraid of your own feelings.
  • If true love is blind, maybe you won’t mind the view.
  • Freaks, huh? Well, I guess it takes one to know one!
  • Beautiful ain’t always pretty.
  • I’m a mess of contradictions in a dress.
  • When I’m with you, I am happy.
  • We make a perfect pair.
  • We are hobbits with bad habits.
  • I thought love was only true in fairy tales.
  • When I wanted sunshine I got rain.
  • Then I saw her face: now I’m a believer; not a trace of doubt in my mind. I’m in love!

anonymous asked:

Hi/Going back to the hickey thing Jeremy got super flustered and blushy when Rich pointed out the hickey so the next time Michael and Jeremy made out Jeremy went after Michael's neck with a vengeance/Christine is like the mom who gives out free sex advice so she's like 'use protection!!' And the two of them highkeyed died/Jeremy got his name changed when he turned 18 because the squad+Mister Heere+Michael's moms all collected money for it/He changed it to Jeremiah Nikolas Heere&loves it -Rich🔥

the next day michael shows up to school with his neck covered in hickeys and the second rich sees him you just hear rich yell “DAMN, JEREMY A FREAK! NEED ME A BOY LIKE THAT!” and he texts the groupchat like “y’all jeremy went to TOWN on our boy mikey last night 😩👏💯💦🔥” just because he loves embarrassing his friends

christine 100% is the mom of the friend group thats my FAVORITE headcanon ever. her backpack contains everything you could ever need she always has spare pads for her friends who get periods (jeremy is super thankful for this because he never remembers his cycle) and she always has bandaids and pain relief and everything so when jeremy and michael start dating she gives them the “use protection!” talk and she reaches into her backpack like “actually i think i have-” and jeremy and michael immediately stop her like “NONONO christine oh my GOD”

yesyesyes jeremy loves his name and so does michael !! michael always shortens the name “jeremiah” and calls him “miah” when he’s being super cheesy 

mint-glasses  asked:

Sidles up, how about a family AU where Etihw and Kcalb raise a child? (Child AU is my lifeblood) v(。・ω・。)v

Starring Mystery Log Child somewhat near the bottom

Title: “Mister Mom”
Length: 778 words
Pairing: Eticalb
Rating: SFW
Summary: Kcalb was a horrible father. This whole ‘taking care of kid and not making them cry every time he looked at them’ was a hard thing to work with.

Link: AO3

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anonymous asked:

(Hey! It's me again! =3 I managed to miss the entire other M!A so dang. -JeweledGinger) Matilda sighed and looked at the mirror positioned on the floor. She wanted to see Mark, or as she called him, the blonde mom friend, again. She was pretty upset and well, It was comforting being with him after all. She knew she'd have to wait until he 'borrowed' it or something, so she just sat there, bored out of her mind.

((Yesssss hello!)) Calamity could be heard from the other side of the mirror as it’s ‘reflection’ shook violently. Soon enough it was just a dark purple before a hand stuck it’s way through the mirror, making sure the coast was clear but soon enough mister mom friend popped out of the mirror, glancing over to see Matilda “Mattie!!” He looked like a happy puppy