mistah j

Joker Imagine - You Lose Your Virginity

WARNING: SMUT!!!! This is not for kids (But are any of my imagines tho?)

Originally posted by fuckyeahumbrellaboy

Originally posted by relationshipaims

Your P.O.V.

Being Joker’s girlfriend wasn’t easy, but I loved it. I loved spending time with him, stand by his side and feel special. He made me feel like I was one in a billion. Even tho he could be scary and really crazy, I loved him. Most people feared Joker for his behaviour which was good, but I knew him better. We’ve been together for just a few weeks, but it was enough. He was crazy and I was crazy, a perfect mixture for Gotham city. A crazy couple that likes to play with Batsy. We had a lot of fun, but then came the more personal part.

I was still a virgin.

The fact had made me nervous and to be honest I was scared. Joker wasn’t a gentle man, he was more dominating. I knew he had a rough grip so I was stressed about when the time would come. I was mentally ready, but I was just scared as heck. My old friends had told me that they were in pain, that it stung and some of them even bled. Knowing Joker he wouldn’t be any gentler than an ordinary guy, perhaps he was worse.

 Damn he didn’t even know. I had always came up with an excuse like ‘I’m on my periods’ ‘the wounds I got from the heist hurt’ or ‘I’m tired, sorry’ when he tried to take kissing a step further. Now he probably suspected something, which was ok. I knew I should tell him.

It was Valentine’s day, 10 p.m. and he would come home anytime soon. I had been up all day as he was on a heist with Frost. I had stayed on purpose, trying to prepare myself. Joker was surprised when I a blood thirsty little monster didn’t come with him to kill a few people who didn’t pay him back. While he was gone from the luxurious penthouse, I was thinking. I knew that I’d give him my virginity tonight. So I had taken a warm bath, I read loads of blogs where people talked about losing it. It was the same pain and blood kind of shit. But then I saw more positive posts. Some said that foreplay and lube could make it better. Also not everyone would bleed. So I felt a little better.

I sighed and grabbed my laptop. Then I sat down on our bed, on the dark purple sheets and I sat comfortably. Then I opened a tab and decided to do something I didn’t do that often, but I felt like I had to. If Joker would catch me, I’d be so embarrassed. I watched some more mature videos, yes porn. To be honest it was kinda hot and impressive how these people did all that. Maybe one day J could take me like that? Damn it was a thrilling thought. I got so lost in my thoughts by watching the video that I forgot to follow the time. The volume was quite high and a girl was moaning really heavily. I bet her moans were echoing through the house. I just watched keenly, slowly getting wet.

Then I heard footsteps coming closer loudly. My eyes widened and my breath hitched in my throat. Before I could sit up, Joker walked in with a gun in his hand. There was an angry look on his face. My heart jumped to my throat and I froze on the bed. ‘’Oh’’ He muttered and lowered the gun. Instead of being angry, he smirked. ‘’Is my kitten horny?’’ He purred at me. He still had his silver jacket on. He probably thought that something was happening here so he just hurried to me. A blush spread on my face and I shut the tab and then put the computer away. Way to go.

‘’We need to talk’’ I cleared my throat and looked away from my boyfriend. It was really embarrassing to be caught watching porn. ‘’Hmm I’d love to talk’’ Joker told me deeply and crawled in bed next to me. I noticed that I got tense. He grabbed my jaw and made me look at him. His usually ice blue eyes were dark and his pupils were bigger than normal. ‘’I should..um..there’s..can you..no do you want to..ugh..’’ I wanted to tell him about my virginity, but I was so nervous that I didn’t make sense. I stopped stuttering when he put his fingers on my lips. ‘’Do you want me to fuck you?’’ He asked me shamelessly. My eyes widened a bit and I felt like I was a heat lamp by now. Why was this so bad?

‘’Kinda.. yes’’ I whispered and watched how his smirk turned into a grin. ‘’But there’s something..you should know’’ I hurried to say before he got started. Joker nodded and waited for me to tell him. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that it was ok. He should know. ‘’I’ve..I’ve never done this before’’ I spat it out shyly and expected him to laugh, but nope, he didn’t laugh. ‘’I figured’’ He replied calmly. I looked at him with surprise. Before I could ask him how, he kept going. ‘’You always had an excuse kitten. You could have just told me’’ He let me know and climbed above me. I looked into his eyes quietly. Joker sat on my hips, but he put most of his weight on his legs. 

‘’Sorry’’ I apologized for not telling him earlier. ‘’Hmm..it’s ok. But why didn’t you tell me kitten? Why’’ He pried while taking off his silver jacket, revealing his red shirt that wasn’t buttoned. I saw his toned chest and to be honest I liked that sight. ‘’I was scared’’ I admitted, knowing that being honest with him was the best choice. Joker took off his shirt as well before he leaned closer to my face. ‘’Why were you scared?’’ He purred quietly and cupped my face. I put my hands on his and took a deep breath, noticing how his scent of gunpowder and cologne calmed me down.

‘’I was scared because I know it hurts..and it’s kinda embarrassing’’ I admitted, finding it hard to speak when he started kissing my neck. J licked my skin and then started kissing me until he found my sweet spot. I whimpered,but muffled it by biting my lips together. ‘’It’s not embarrassing’’ He told me seriously before looking back into my eyes.This side of him wasn’t really familiar for me. He wasn’t angry nor overly happy and cheerful. He seemed like he genuinely cared about my safety. But there was also that smirk there since he caught he watching that video. 

‘’You know I won’t hurt you right?’’ He whispered into my ear. I licked my lips and closed my eyes for a while. ‘’..unless you want me to’’ He added darkly, but I knew what he meant with that. ‘’I trust you J’’ I let him know. All this got me hornier and I just wanted to get started. I felt impatient, but also shy and vulnerable. ‘’Look at me’’ He demanded and so I opened my eyes. His face was right above mine. ‘’I’ll take care of you. Why would I ever want to hurt my queen?’’ He looked at me seriously, but he didn’t seem angry. I cracked a smile and it was enough for an answer.

Then J pressed his red lips against mine. I relaxed into the kiss and shut my eyes again, kissing him harder. Joker opened his mouth a little so he could push his tongue out. I gave him access to my mouth and then he started exploring me like never before. His hand travelled down on my body so he was cupping my right boob. I tensed as he touched me and of course he noticed. J pulled back and looked deep in my eyes. ‘’Relax kitten’’ He demanded calmly. I nodded and took a deep breath. 

Then he grabbed the hems of my black shirt that I was wearing and he dragged it up until I was shirtless. I watched as he threw the shirt away somewhere on the wooden floor. The cool air made contact on my skin and I felt goosebumps rising. Then J got up, standing next to the bed. He unbuckled his belt and got out of his black jeans. I was wearing golden pajama shorts and black underwear. When I saw J in his boxers, I realized that this was real. He had a boner and man it looked huge. How could all that fit inside me?

‘’What did you think of when you watched it baby?’’ He broke the silence and got on the bed again. I sat up next to him and sighed. Was it so obvious that I had been thinking of him? Of us doing those things? ‘’You’’ I replied shortly. J put his hands on my shorts and dragged them off, making me raise my legs so he could take them all the way off. Now we were both in our underwear only. I couldn’t help but to be nervous, but I was getting really wet. ‘’Mmh baby..’’ He growled with a smile and suddenly dragged me on his lap. I put my hands on his muscled shoulders and bit my bottom lip.His grip was strong, but sure. I liked it.

‘’I’ve thought about you very very much baby..About you and me, together’’ He purred and then his hands played with my bra. He unclasped them and I felt them hanging by the straps. He had never seen me buttnaked before, but I didn’t mind that he would now. Then he slid them off of me and threw them away as well. My nipples were hard and I knew he noticed. I mean, my boobs were nearly in his face. ‘’You’ve got really nice tits’’ he smirked and cupped both of them. Then he gave them a squeeze, making me flinch because the sensitivity came so suddenly. ‘’I know you like them because you’re always staring’’ I chuckled and tried to feel comfortable. I wasn’t uncomfortable either, just nervous.

‘’Have you touched yourself?’’ J asked me seriously and then licked my left nipple. I bit my bottom lip and nearly moaned when he blew cold air on the spot before nibbling me with his teeth. He used his hand on the other one so I wouldn’t feel lonely. ‘’Tell me’’ He reminded me and kept going. As I opened my  mouth to speak, he bit me a little harder, making me moan. ‘’That’s my girl, don’t hold it back’’ He let me know more happily. ‘’Now tell me, have you ever touched yourself while thinking of us?’’ He wanted to know very eagerly. It made me think of the few times I had done that. It had all been very recently. He was making me a horny mess.

‘’Yes J mmh’’ I whimpered, getting wet for him. Then I looked at my horny boyfriend who got a dangerous dark twist in those pretty eyes. ‘’Dirty dirty girl’’ He rumbled deeply. Then he used his mouth on my other boob. I leaned closer to him so his face was hugging them. I wanted to get some friction, but I was patient enough. I knew that foreplay was important so it wouldn’t hurt so much. His warm hands squeezed my boobs a little harder, making me jump a little every time, but I liked the feeling. Suddenly he pinched both my nipples, making me gasp. ‘’I need to punish you for being a naughty girl, but not tonight’’ He warned me and then moved his hands on my back, sliding them down until he clutched my bum. He did it to press our clothed crotches closer. Then he leaned back against the bedpost and attached his lips on my neck.

‘’Damn..I can feel how wet you are’’ J admitted and grinded his hard on against me. My eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head from the unfamiliar touch, but the feeling it made. My clit was pulsing by now because I was so eager for his touch. ‘’Oh baby girl..how long have you been waiting for me?’’ He licked his lips and kept planting kisses on my neck and chest. ‘’A few hours’’ I answered shortly, focusing on the small amount of friction that felt good already.

‘’Maybe..just maybe I won’t tease you too much now’’ He thought out loud. Then he rolled us over so he was on top. I looked into his eyes and now it was my turn to smirk. ‘’It must be tight in those boxers J’’ I whispered and touched his back with my nail, gently tho. ‘’Trust me, it is’’ He growled and then pressed his crotch against mine again, way harder than earlier because he was on top now. As I was about to moan, he pressed those sweet lips of his against mine, making me moan into his mouth. He grabbed my hair with his left hand to keep me steady. The feeling of him dry humping me was so good after waiting so long.

Then he let go of my lips, looking into my eyes silently for a while. He was probably finding it hard to keep control over his actions. ‘’Daddy’s hungry’’ He let me know. At first I didn’t get it, but I was quick to catch on. J went down on me and soon he bit my last piece of clothing, my undies. I watched as he slid them off very slowly, keeping eye contact while teasing the hell out of me. ‘’J’’ I whined impatiently, but couldn’t help but to admit that it was hot. His hands touched my thighs and then moved closer again. He moved his eyes away from my eyes to look at my heat. I felt a little shy and embarrassed again. No one had ever been this close to me.

‘’Oh you’re glistening..something needs to be done here’’ He purred excitedly and placed a kiss on my inner thigh. I squeezed the bedsheets and waited for him to do something. I didn’t even realize that I was holding my breath until he told me. ‘’Relax kitten, I’ll make you feel good’’ He promised me. I let out a long breath and then encouraged him with a smile. ‘’Please daddy’’ I begged him. Something twisted in his eyes and his grip got tighter, but I didn’t feel any pain. Then he licked my pussy slowly, from my clit to my opening. I gasped and then held my breath for a few seconds. J didn’t stop now. He kitten licked my wetness and then attached his mouth of my throbbing clit. I moaned loudly in pleasure. It didn’t hurt, yet.

J nibbled my clit with his teeth and made me arch my back. He put his right arm on my hips to keep me on place. ‘’Damn baby you taste so good’’ He complimented me and kept licking my clit. ‘’harder J’’ I whimpered, wanting more. I wanted him to take me harder. It was probably because I was so horny. ‘’Baby girl..I feel like after a few times you’ll be one feisty beast in bed’’ He chuckled and then pushed his index finger inside of me. He had long and kinda thick fingers. I had never felt that before from anyone else than myself and I had smaller fingers.

I chewed my bottom lip and whimpered as he started fingering me. It hurt a little, but it felt so good as well. Then I moved my hand to touch his arm he used to keep my hips down. J looked at my face to see if I was in any kind of discomfort.  He wasn’t smiling and he had a dark look on his smug face, but I could tell he was both happy but worried. He truly cared about me. ‘’Does my kitten enjoy this?’’ He purred and curled his long finger against me soft walls, hitting a spot that made me moan loudly. He noticed and kept pressing his finger against that magic spot. 

‘’Y-Yes’’ I answered him and tried to buck my hips, but it was useless. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers while using his other hand to pleasure me. Once he pulled out his finger, he pushed back two. This time he had more difficulties getting both in smoothly. I gulped and realized that it hurt a little. J saw it on my face and he stopped. ‘’Relax’’ He reminded me and used his thumb to rub my clit. ‘’Keep going’’ I told him a little unsurely. He listened to me and fingered me with two fingers, but he couldn’t get both fully in. My head leaned against the pillows and I squeezed his hand, but I still moaned out in both pleasure and pain. Soon he managed to get both fingers in and he pressed the magic spot again. 

‘’Fuck yes’’ I breathed out sharply. ‘’It wasn’t that hard to find’’ He told me proudly. I guess the magic spot was my G-spot. He was still slow with his fingers, but I wanted more now that I got more used to it. I wanted to feel him in me, to be connected with him. ‘’J’’ I whispered nervously and looked into his dark eyes. ‘’Yes baby?’’ He answered quickly and stopped moving his fingers. I felt how my juices stained the sheets. I couldn’t help but to think of the chance of bleeding.

‘’I want you’’ I told him honestly. J pulled out his fingers and climbed closer to my face. ‘’Do you want me now?’’ He questioned me with his sexy raspy voice and touched my bottom lips with the fingers he just used to finger fuck me with. I nodded and opened my mouth so I could taste myself. J pushed his fingers in my mouth and I sucked them clean. ‘’I’ll get a condom’’ He let me know. J pressed a kiss on my stomach, making me smile, before he got up. He walked to the dark brown drawer and opened it, grabbing a condom. Reality hit me again. This was it. I just hoped that he managed to remain as calm as possible. J wasn’t normal, but I couldn’t be happier to share this moment with him. No one else could replace him, never ever in a gazillion years.

J took off his boxers and then I saw his cock. My eyes widened. Now it looked even bigger. Pre-cum was dripping from his tip. He was stone hard. It would be a miracle if this wouldn’t hurt. I mean I barely managed two of his fingers and now that? He was at least nine inches long, at least! ‘’Do you want to put it on?’’ J asked me, knocking me out of my thoughts. He had holding the condom near me. I grabbed it from his hand and then ripped the small package open, revealing a slimy piece of rubber that would keep us away from infections and kids.

Then I looked at his cock. Was I supposed to touch him? What if I’d screw up? J noticed that I was staring, so he decided to speak. ‘’You’re adorable’’ He chuckled and then grabbed my wrist, bringing my hand close to his erection. My hands were trembling because I was so nervous, but damn I wanted this. ‘’Um..How do I know when it’s right?’’ I mumbled, feeling like my brain was running in circles. ‘’I’ll know, just roll it on’’ He encouraged me. His voice was raspier than normally. I grabbed his shaft and tried to keep a gentle touch. I had no idea if it hurt or what it felt like for him. Then I put the condom on his tip and tried to remember what I had learned earlier. I pinched the tip while rolling it on. Then I let go and looked at J for approval.

‘’Good, was it so hard?’’ J asked me and licked his lips. I shook my head no, but to be honest I just wanted to begin. ‘’Now baby girl you need to relax, okay?’’ He looked deep in my eyes while making me lie down on my back. ‘’I will’’ I promised him and took a shaky breath. Joker grabbed my legs and put them on his shoulders. Then he positioned himself close to my entrance, letting the tip touch me but he didn’t push in yet. My nerves were about to kill me.

‘’Hey, look at me’’ J demanded and I was quick to do so. He grabbed my hand and looked deep into my eyes. ‘’Do it’’ I whispered and prepared myself for the pain. I gritted my teeth as he pushed his length inside of me, stretching my walls that had never experienced this. First I couldn’t feel pain, until he got an inch or two in. ‘’Fuck’’ I hissed nervously and tensed my muscles.J stopped and clenched his jaw. This wasn’t easy for him either. ‘’Y/N, take it easy baby’’ He reminded me. Tears stung my eyes, but it was mostly because of my nerves. I had been thinking too much all day and this was the moment all that stress and worry came out. It didn’t hurt so much that I couldn’t handle it.

‘’You’re doing good, now be a good girl for daddy and relax’’ J spoke slowly, but deeply. I nodded and relaxed after taking a deep breath.He kept going slowly. I felt the struggle, since everything was so tight down there. J never broke eye-contact while he entered me. Then as I thought things wouldn’t get worse, I felt a stinging pain. ‘’Ow ow ow’’ I whined and gritted my teeth. J didn’t stop, he kept pushing himself in. I knew that he had torn my hymen. ‘’I know it hurts baby,but it’ll be over soon’’ He promised me seriously. The tears rolled down my face, but I didn’t sob. Then he cupped my cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb. I liked J like this, which I never expected. 

Soon he was all the way in. J stopped, wanting me to adjust to his size. I was breathing heavily because my nerves were unravelling. It stung and hurt as my walls stretched, but it didn’t get any worse. Actually now that he wasn’t moving, it didn’t hurt too much. ‘’You’re doing so good’’ J purred and tried to stay still. Man he had been weeks without sex and now he had to contain himself, which was a hard task for Joker. I was so glad that he cared about me enough to not hurt me on purpose.

‘’Move’’ I whispered after a while. He nodded and pulled back. I gritted my teeth, but tried to stay relaxed as he moved. J was almost all the way out until he pushed back in, this time a little faster without stopping. I grunted in pain but the pleasure made it bearable. J growled under his breath. I untangled our hands so I could hug him by putting my hands on his strong back. J supported himself a little better now and found a better position. Soon he was finding a slow but steady rhythm. One more single tear rolled down my face until I started to find pleasure coming above the pain. I moaned quite loudly now, allowing J to know that the worst pain was over. He smiled, but it quickly faded as he started to pace up.

My nails raked his back without me noticing. ‘’Fuck J’’ I cried out in pleasure. The feeling was new but so lovely. His big cock rubbed my soft and sensitive walls by every move and once he was in me, his tip hit the magic spot that made my eyes roll to the back of my head. ‘’Do you feel good?’’ He asked me darkly and he gritted his teeth. We were both getting sweaty, but neither of us minded. ‘’Y-Y..ah fuck yes!’’ I wailed out happily. J started breathing heavily and so did I, but I was a moaning mess as well. I bucked my hips against J’s to get more friction. I wanted him to go faster and not be so careful anymore. Just like I read the pain goes away after a few minutes. Now I felt simply amazing.

‘’Faster..’’ I whispered quietly, but he didn’t quite catch it. I knew he wanted to go slow to keep me safe which was sweet. J probably found this hard, since he actually gave a fuck about me. I knew how to make him take me harder tho. ‘’Fuck me harder daddy’’I told him loudly. J slowed down until he stopped. My ass was wet because I was legit dripping arousal. J put his hand on my jaw and looked into my eyes seriously. ‘’Y/N..don’t get me to the point where I can’t control myself’’ He warned me, but I knew he wanted it. Me being the crazy girl who didn’t follow rules anyway did something else.

‘’I know you want to..I can take you daddy’’ I purred and bucked my hips, already missing the feeling of him fucking me. I wanted more. I didn’t even care if it hurt a little bit. ‘’Y/N’’ J growled and shut his eyes. I smirked, knowing that I got him. ‘’I’m all yours daddy, look at me’’ I said innocently. When he opened his eyes I used my left hand to touch my clit. J looked at my actions for a few seconds until he lost it. He grabbed my wrist harshly and pinned it next to my head. ‘’Oh darling you’ll cry soon’’ He warned me angrily. Finally. 

Before I could answer, he grabbed the bedpost and let his anger out on me, just as I expected him to. J pounded himself balls deep in me, making the sound of skin slapping against skin echo in our room and probably the entire penthouse.’’Yes..Yes daddy’’ I gasped and rolled my eyes to the back of my head again. Then I curled my toes and felt a knot forming in my stomach. J was going really hard, harder now that I thought he would. ‘’Is this what you wanted?’’ He growled heatedly. I couldn’t even answer him. The pleasure and pain mixed together had me overwhelmed. My mouth was open and I was gasping between my loud cries of pleasure. The look in J’s eyes was so sexy but dangerous.

I had awakened a beast.

J kept slamming his entire length in me, until a strong feeling seemed to come closer. I guess I was close to an orgasm. Although I also read that most women don’t come the first time, or even the first few times. ‘’J’’ I tried to say his name, but it came out as a whisper. J growled and kept doing this hard work. A shiver ran down my spine and I struggled to breathe. It felt so good. ‘’J’’ I tried again and it came out a little louder. ‘’You’re close, I know’’ he let me know. Tomorrow would be a day I’d find it hard to walk. I just felt it.

As the feeling grew stronger, tears stung my eyes again. I wanted to let go so bad, but I found it hard. I blinked, letting the tears wash down my face. But the roughness was fucking amazing. I knew I wasn’t normal. ‘’Ah-’’ I screamed, but fell silent as a wave of pleasure washed across my entire body, feeling like a good slap. It’s like all my other senses numbed down, only allowing me to feel the amazing feeling. It made my abdomen muscles tense. I curled my toes and used my free hand to dig my nails into J’s back.

After a while I came back to my senses, still feeling like heaven, but something unexpected happened. I got super sensitive. It’s like every move J did was like twenty times more sensitive. ‘’J’’ I whimpered, still recovering from that hard orgasm. He didn’t stop yet. I screamed out and my body started shaking. I was pushing him, but I wanted more. I wanted this, but my body couldn’t handle much more. J noticed and then stopped. He pulled out and put my legs down. I squeezed them together, panting hard on the bed now. J took off the condom and I watched as he came seconds later. His cum cum shot on my body, landing on my stomach. His entire hot load just pooled on my skin as I panted.

For some reason I liked that dirty sight of being covered in his cum. But now I felt like I was on fire, but it was so worth it. J was breathing heavily and he ran his hand through his hair. I cracked a smile and I looked at my boyfriend. Suddenly I felt much closer to him, it’s like we were more serious. ‘’Thank you’’ I whispered tiredly, but I was so happy. J  looked into my eyes more calmly now. ‘’Well it’s not over yet doll face. I need to run you a bath, you’re bleeding’’ He let me know. My eyes widened. Then I sat up, ignoring the burning sensation. He was right. There was a little blood on the sheets. Fuck.

I wasn’t sure if he was angry or not, but I still grew nervous.’’Shit sorry..I-I’ll clean up’’ I promised him quickly. Before I could panic more, J cupped my face and kissed me. It took me by surprise, but I kissed him back. The kiss was sweet and salty, but it sure calmed me down. Then J grabbed my wrists and let me put my hands on his chest. ‘’Oh kitten just take it easy, it’s fine. Daddy isn’t mad at you’’ He assured me. ‘’I lov..’’ I started, but quickly shut up. His smile faded. Joker never told anyone those three words, at least not that I knew of it. He knew how to show his emotions, especially when he got protective over me or when he wanted to spend time with me. He knew it as well ,but so far he had never said that he loved me. I was kinda nervous now. Everything went well, but I went and tried to say those words to him.

Way to go.

‘’I loved it’’ I cleared my throat, talking about the sex. Maybe he’d think through it. J sighed and then stood up. I thought he’d leave me alone, but instead he picked me up in his strong arms. So he carried me to the master bathroom. ‘’I know what you were going to say Y/N’’ he admitted ,but I was unsure if he was angry at me or not. He wasn’t obvious like an open book. No, Joker was a nut that was hard to crack, but I was going the right way. ‘’Sorry’’ I whispered and looked down. He put me on my feet and locked the white bathroom door. My legs were numb, kinda feeling like jelly. So I sat on the edge of the tub quickly. Then I watched as J let the warm water fill the big tub, big enough for two.

‘’Don’t be sorry’’ He started a little angrily. Well sherlock it wasn’t easy not to be. I didn’t want to ruin a perfect night with my own stupid feelings in words. J kneeled down in front of me and rested his head on my knees. ‘’Do you mean it?’’ He wanted to know. A blush spread on my already rosy cheeks. Then I nodded, a little scared if I had to be honest. Instead of getting mad at me like I expected him to be, instead of hitting me neither, he did the opposite.

‘’Well..I think that’s good, so I know our feelings are mutual’’ He let me know mysteriously. Just as I expected, he wouldn’t say ‘I love you’ but he found a way to let me know. 

Well this was a perfect valentine’s day..

Dating Diana Prince/ Wonderwoman would include...

• Meeting her through knowing Bruce and Clark

•At first being vaguely intimidated by her but also finding that you can’t seem to draw your gaze away from her

• Diana being entranced by everything about you

• Bruce wingmanning for her and Clark trying to play matchmaker for you

• It works

• You better be down for PDA because Diana is not at all bothered by it

• She always finds a way to be touching you somehow whenever you’re together

• Whether you’re sitting on the couch together, walking down the street or even hanging on the Watchtower she will gently interlock her fingers with yours

• Cuddles

• LOTS of cuddles

• Diana loves hugging you from behind (she’s much taller than you so she always rests her chin atop your head

- “Di, stop it! You’re making me feel short.”

- “Y/N, you are short”


• Slow, passionate kisses

• Sometimes you just spend hours aimlessly making out

• Sweet, loving sex

• But also really hot “I just got back from a really dangerous mission and I have an adrenaline high” sex

• Basically a lot of sex, all the time

• Cute good morning kisses

• When you can’t sleep, Di will sing old Greek lullabies until you eventually drop off

• Late night pillow talk that can last for hours

• She adores listening to you talk and it doesn’t matter what you’re talking about, she will always listen avidly

• You love it when she tells you stories of her home and the adventures she had back on Themyscira

• She likes carding her fingers in your hair as you lay your head on her chest/stomach because it’s relaxing and she likes the way it makes you smile

• Sometimes you go through old photos of her as wonderwoman

• You start learning Greek to surprise her

• “Σε αγαπώ”

• Nobody had better mess with you because Diana is very protective

- And she has a sword.

• You and her just having a perfect, loving relationship.

A/N: Basically I’m just trash for Diana

Originally posted by skaldic-totems

(Joker x Reader) Masterlist

I got asked for an updated MASTERLIST so here you go darlings:



















































































































































AO3 account - same blog name: DiYunho

The Joker x Reader- “What You Wish For”

He always blurs out things when he’s mad and takes it out on the wrong people. If he wants you and your daughter to be gone, why not grant his wish? After all, the great Joker doesn’t need anybody around.

“…and you two are always around, I wish you would just disappear!” J grumbles, irritated that his plans for last night’s kidnapping went downhill. Of course he has to take it on somebody and since you and your daughter happen to be right there…again…

“Hey, knock it out!” you urge him, noticing Emma squeezing harder on her teddy bear. She keeps on looking at you and her dad, uneasy. “That would be enough, don’t say things like this in front of our kid!” you frown, stopping what you’re doing for the moment, which is folding her little dresses.

“I mean it, I want you two to vanish! You are in my way, I want to be alone! I need peace and quiet,” he snarls, pacing around the living room, pointing his finger at Emma.

“Where…where should I go, daddy?” she whimpers, backing out a bit.

“I don’t give a damn, just get out of my sight!” The Joker replies, going out on the balcony.

“Are you serious?!” you mutter, not believing what just came out of his mouth. Emma starts crying and you have to go and hug her, trying to comfort a child that doesn’t understand her father’s outbursts. “Daddy didn’t mean it, honey, ok? He’s just upset. Go get ready for bed and I’ll come tuck you in. Stop crying, he didn’t mean it,” you wipe her tears, feeling your heart sink.

“D-does daddy h-hate me?” she stutters in your ear, sniffling.

“No, of course not, never! He can’t hate his little Pumpkin, there’s no way,” you smile, reassuring her, caressing her back to make it better. “Come on, go get ready, I’ll be right there,” and you put her down, watching as she slowly heads towards her bedroom. You deeply inhale and follow J on the balcony, determined to make things right.

He is sitting on the couch, fidgeting with his gun. You stomp towards him and yank the pistol out of his hand, tossing it on the concrete.

“Don’t say mean things to your daughter, do you hear me? She’s not even 6 yet!”
“Get lost, Y/N!” he growls, pushing you away.

“No, I’m not getting lost!” you place yourself in front of him again. “You made her cry, are you happy about that? All that she knows is that you’re her dad and she loves you, she doesn’t grasp your … complicated behavior,” you make it sound as nice as you can since you want to strangle him on the spot.

“Shut up, Y/N!” J reaches for his gun but you take his hand and hold it in place.

“No, you have to go and make it up to her; you shouldn’t say such horrible things to Emma! I don’t care you are in a foul mood, deal with it!” you snap at him, annoyed. You let go of his hand and lift his chin up, forcing him to look at you since he’s avoiding your gaze.

“Is she…really crying?” he sighs, biting on his cheek. The bitter expression on your face confirms it. The Joker grunts, suddenly relaxing his shoulders and unexpectedly burying his face on your tummy. “I didn’t mean it…” you hear his muffled voice and you kick his shin, distancing from him.

“What would you do without us, hm? Don’t take us for granted!” and you turn your back, storming inside, not waiting for an answer. It won’t be a nice one anyway.


The Joker gets inside Emma’s room, watching her play with the toys before bedtime.

“What are you doing, little Princess?” he asks, scratching his head because he doesn’t really know how to handle the situation.

“Waiting for mommy to put me to bed,” she answers getting up from the carpet, a bit startled, squeezing on her teddy bear.

“Wanna fix my hair?” J offers, fully aware that’s her favorite thing to do.

“Really?” she gasps, already searching for the comb, so excited for the opportunity. Children have such a way of being resilient.

He seats on the floor with the back against her bed. She crawls behind him and carefully starts combing his green hair, tracing the strands with her tiny hand.

“Ahhh, that feels good, Pumpkin Pie,” he purrs, closing his eyes. “You’re doing a great job. Can you purr for me?”

She leans over and makes some silly sounds, trying so hard to imitate him and J chuckles, grabbing both of her hands and covering them in kisses.

“I don’t want you to go away, alright?” J tils his head backwards, watching her giggle when he tickles her sides.

“Ok, daddy,” she kisses his Damaged tattoo and he senses that weird ache in his chest again. It’s a strange type of pain The Joker can never quite pinpoint.

You stop in the doorway, leaning against the wall and watch them, pleased your daughter looks happy now.

“Time for bed, honey,” you announce but let him tuck her in. “Did you do daddy’s hair? It looks great,” you praise her, kissing her goodnight and Emma nods a yes, thrilled you like it.

The Joker leans over to cover her with the blanket and kisses the tip of her nose. Emma locks her hands around his neck and pulls him down so she can hug him.

“I love you, daddy,” she snickers, waiting for him to say it back.

“Me too,” J shortly replies, attempting to get out of it.

“No, daddy, you have to say it!” your daughter whines and it makes you so proud.

Good girl, you think. You’re the one that taught her to make J say the words because he needs to: a reminder never hurts.

“I did,” he cheats, trying to trick her.

“No, you have to saaaaay it,” she cups his face, waiting.

“You sound like your mom, you know that?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Fine, I love you too; are we done here?” J mumbles, kissing her one more time and letting go.

“Yes, daddy, we’re done,” she snatches her teddy bear from you and widely smiles when you wink at her, approving the strategy you worked on so hard. She’s not your kid for nothing.


J watches you change for bed and you glance at him, not being in the mood to talk anymore. He doesn’t say a word either so you just turn off the light and go on your side of the bed, knowing you will fall asleep soon because you are tired.

“Say, Kitten, are you going with me tomorrow? I need you for the heist,” he starts the conversation.

“Maybe,” you yawn, punching your pillow to make it more comfortable.

“You know, I really wanted to…”

You fakely snore, louder and louder, interrupting, hinting he should stop talking.

“Very funny, Baby Doll. You’re hilarious,” he mocks you, finding it hard to stay awake. “Do you still love me?” J sarcastically inquires and he distinguishes your fingers in the dim night light, showing just a small gap between the thumb and index. “That’s it?!”

“Yeap, already too much” your answer promptly comes and you get under the sheets, not wanting to continue the dialogue. “I’m exhausted.”

He wants to say something harsh but ends up babbling stuff to himself as you ignore his behavior.


“We’re going to the park and then for a drive. I’ll be back in time,” you little note on the kitchen table lets J know of your plans when he wakes up. He spends the day preparing for tonight, instructing his henchmen on what to do and gathering supplies for the robbery. Why aren’t you texting back? The Joker hates it when he sends you messages and you don’t respond right away.

A few more hours pass by, still nothing. And why didn’t you two return yet? You have to go with him tonight. Texting again for the 50th time, no reply… and again, and again. Couple more hours go by…it’s getting dark, no sign from you. Time passes by and nothing.

J starts to get impatient. It’s night time now and he has to cancel the plans. Everything is postponed. My God, he’s not thrilled about it but there is no trace of you so he forgets he is mad about his ruined scheme. He calls around to see if anybody saw you or heard from you. Nobody did.

Where are my girls? he wonders, reading the message from Frost that lets him know the henchmen didn’t find anything around town. The Joker sent them all out and about to search for you and he stayed behind at the penthouse, just in case you will return. What if someone took you? The thought makes him squirm on his chair. What if you just…left? That’s impossible, there is no way you would… …right?… What if you got caught? Would they take you to Arkham? The police station?…

1 in the morning and he is getting more and more restless and worried on your disappearance. It’s so unlike you to do such a thing, even if you fight you never leave him hanging: you always text him back or tell him your whereabouts.

Where are my girls?

He finally has the peace and quiet he was so adamant to request this morning, but dammit, the silence is deafening. This is what it feels like without you and Emma around? You are always around. J doesn’t like the quietness. At all. Or the weird ache in his chest again.

If nothing turns up in a few hours, he will look for you two himself with the whole crew, even hire more people. Swipe the city to every little corner until he finds something. Will he find anything? He has to, no other option.

The Joker needs his girls back.


“Ssstttt, be quiet, honey,” you tell Emma as you close the door behind you. You pick her up in your arms because she is very sleepy and fussy. You went to the park and then got out of Gotham for a drive. You really wanted to take her to the woods on the old deserted highway because it’s your favorite spot: you can see deers out there and so much wildlife she would have surely enjoyed. But your car broke down in the middle of nowhere and on top of everything  your phone died and you didn’t have the charger with you.

The entire day you tried to find the problem and fix it with no success. Then the night came and you couldn’t see well anymore and decided to wait until the morning. You were lucky another vehicle passed you by and the driver stopped to help. The guy had no idea who you were but it didn’t made you less alert and prepared to kill in case he turned out to be a psycho. Ha, that’s a good one. You actually softly laughed at the idea: a woman like you suspecting someone else of being a psycho.

But… he was actually able to start your car and you drove right back to Gotham.

3 in the morning- jeez, what a looong day!

You walk in the master bedroom and you see The Joker sleeping on your side so you have to go on his, carefully placing Emma in the middle and finally winding down.

“Daaaddyyyy…” she snuggles to his chest, half asleep, realizing he’s there.

He opens his eyes and gulps, crushing her in his arms while she winces, uncomfortable.

“I can’t breathe…” she complains, already dozing off and he loosens his embrace, reaching for you.

“Where…where were you????????” he whispers, concerned but striving to conceal how distressed he still is.

“The stupid car broke down”, you hum, keeping it down for your daughter, scooting over towards him as much as you can without squashing your kid,” and the phone died too. The whole thing was such an ordeal, really bad luck. I am beat. Did you go on the heist?”

“Yeah,” J lies. “Why, you think I wouldn’t go without you?” he hisses but you don’t even care. You are already snoozing, holding his hand on top of Emma.

“Didn’t you enjoy the day without us though?” you struggle to say in your sleep. “You didn’t want us around…”

“Yeah, it was great,” The Joker intertwines his fingers with yours, continuing even if you don’t really hear him anymore at this point. “ I had fun without you two.”

My girls are back, he thinks, finally at ease after being on the edge all day. And the weird ache in his chest makes him take a deep breath. It’s a strange type of pain he can never quite pinpoint.



Joker Imagine - You Catch Him In The Shower

Originally posted by rpvisualosities

WARNING! Smut. This is pure smut. If you have a problem with it, then skip it. And I put a ‘keep reading’ link for the first time ever. This might be long so..yeah. Happy reading.

Your P.O.V.

The second time I woke up, I noticed that I was alone in bed. My eyes felt heavy and I sighed, just staring at the pillow beside me where my boyfriend the Joker usually was. The shower was running and that’s how I knew he was there. I took a few deep breaths and tried to make myself get up. Suddenly I remembered what had happened last night.

I had tried to sleep for a long time, rolling in bed for a small eternity. Yesterday had been long and I had complained that I couldn’t sleep. Then in the middle of the night I woke up because J was growling right beside me. His strong arm was holding onto my body and he was pushing his crotch against my body. J wasn’t quiet either. Raspy moans and grunts had left his mouth and I was surprised, since he wasn’t the most vocal guy in bed. Since I was both surprised and unsure, I fell asleep again.

Now it was morning and I decided to say something about it. I pushed myself out of bed, groaning because it was cold. My skin got covered in small goosebumps and the fact I was nearly naked didn’t help much. Maybe I should join J in the shower?

I stripped out of my T-shirt and red undies, leaving them on the floor. Then I walked tiredly to the master bathroom. It smelled good, like J’s shampoo. As I opened the door, I froze on the spot. J was leaning against the tile wall as water hit his shoulder. His right hand was wrapped around his cock and he was jerking off. My eyes widened and suddenly I was wide awake. 

His blue eyes were closed and he was so focused that he didn’t notice me. I smirked, growing hungry for him. Honestly, the sight of him pleasing himself was hot. Gently I shut the door and walked closer to him, feeling how I grew warmer between my legs. 

‘‘Oh J, why didn’t you wake me up? I could’ve joined you earlier’‘ I purred softly, making him flinch. J’s eyes snapped open and he finally noticed me. Water droplets ran down his muscled body and I couldn’t help but to look at him. I adored every inch of J, literally.

‘‘How could I wake you up when you finally fell asleep?’‘ He asked me with a deep voice, sending shivers down my spine. I grew excited as seconds passed. I got closer to him and pressed a kiss on his collar bone, not reaching his face because he was taller than me. J let out a soft chuckle and his hands travelled to my body. He grabbed my butt and pulled me closer to him. I got wet but I didn’t care. Then he lowered his face and kissed my jaw. 

His touch was magical. Feeling his lips on my skin made me feel so good. I licked my lips and let my hand touch his chest. Gently I dug my nails into his skin as he licked my neck, finding my sweet spot. ‘’God, you’re a tease’’ J growled to me. Then he attached his lips on me, making me moan quietly. I got a tingling sensation on my skin where he was gently nibbling on. 

Keep reading

The Joker x Reader - “The Work Wife”

You’ve been working for The Joker for the past 10 years: you speak and act for him and no matter the circumstances, Y/N is always there to take care of everything he needs.  The King of Gotham might not be married, yet he has a perfect partner: his work wife.

Part 2         Part 3        Part 4     Part 5

“Are you making coffee?” The Joker’s raspy voice makes you aware of his presence in the kitchen.

“I literally just got here,” you gather your long hair in ponytail and glance his way, immediately noticing the dark circles matching the tired blue eyes. “Rough night?” you sarcastically inquire, searching for his favorite coffee flavor among the numerous pods displayed on the counter.

“Don’t nag me!” he growls at Y/N’s entitled smirk she’s not even trying to hide. “I have somebody in the master bedroom; I want her gone by the time I’m out of the shower, OK?” J adjusts the towel wrapped around his waist, heading towards one of the bedrooms downstairs.

“Consider it done!” and by the time the shower turns on you’re already sprinting up the staircase leading towards the second floor of the Penthouse. The door to the master bedroom is cracked opened and you kick it, the girl he spent the night with startled to see you there.

You don’t seem very friendly in your perfectly tailored black suit to say the least; the gun visible from under your jacket makes you even more intimidating. The fact that you look like you want to kill everybody on the planet doesn’t score extra points with the guest. She gathers the purple sheets around her body, nervously biting her lip.

“Get dressed and beat it!” you sneer, pointing at her clothes scattered on the floor.

“Umm…but Mister Joker said he’s going to show me his stamp collection,” she shyly tries to bring it to your attention.

Oh wow! Where does he find these gems?!

You bend over and grab her bra, barely holding it with two fingers and toss it on top of the covers:

“Does he look like the type that has a stamp collection?! Hurry up, I don’t have all day. If he comes back and you’re still here, it’s not going to be pretty!”

The girl is still hesitating.

“Suit yourself then,” you cross your arms on your chest. “I can definitely carry you; you seem light,” you lift your eyebrows with the most sour tone you can muster.

“C-carry me?…” she stammers, uneasy at the sinister grin creeping up on your face.

“He’ll probably kill you and I’ll have to get rid of the body. I’ve dealt with heavier corpses before; no worries,” the sound of the cracked neck you’re stretching making the woman jump out of bed like she’s on fire.

You’ve never seen anybody dressing up so fast before!

She’s out of the Penthouse in under 5 minutes, possibly a new record since you like to keep track for your own amusement.

After finishing the morning routine, The Joker comes out of the bathroom in his boxers and you wait for him at the door, handing over his coffee mug.

“We need to hurry! Your meeting is at 11am and there’s heavy traffic on the freeway,” the warning doesn’t make him happy.

“I don’t like to be rushed!” J protests but starts sipping from the cup and follows you in the walk-in closet, dragging his feet on the soft carpets.

“I’m aware,” you quickly agree. “I heard the stamp collection made a triumphant return,” you keep on searching through his outfits and The Joker snorts, amused.

You’re not nearly as amused as he is.

“You need a girlfriend,” you grouchily enunciate, hoping there’s a soul out there that could theoretically put up with his crap.

“What for?” he lifts his shoulders up, drinking more coffee. “I already have somebody that annoys me every day and she’s been doing it perfectly for the past 10 years.”

J’s statement is being ignored so he has to get some kind of reaction.

The Clown Prince of Crime is obnoxious like that.

“Remind me again why we never hit it off?” J teases even if he already knows the answer.

“Because I’m madly in love with you and if we get together you’ll break my heart and I’m not in the mood for drama,” you recite the same monotonous lines you always do when he asks the question.

“The lack of passion in your voice hints towards the opposite,” he scoffs and you finally find something he might want to wear.

“Purple or silver?” you pick two shirts from the multitude of clothes and his finger points towards the hanger in your left hand.

“Purple,” The Joker choses and begins dressing with the black pants already waiting for him on the sofa.

“I doubt it,” you mumble to yourself and actually keep the silver shirt, patiently waiting behind him as he zips up his pants.

“Actually, I’ll take the silver one,” The Joker changes his mind and your hand instantly goes in front of him with the required garment you correctly guessed he’ll want. “Sometimes you freak me out,” J snatches the shirt from your fingers, giving you a mean glare. You don’t engage since that’s what he wants: to start a quarrel.

“I’m taking tonight off,” a composed Y/N helps him put on the jacket and adjusts the collar in the process, making sure he looks flawless.


“I have a date,” the flat response makes him pucker his lips.

“With who?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Which one?” J sucks on his silver teeth.

“The only one I have and been with for the past year. I like relationships, comparing with other people that don’t even remember the name of the person they slept with the previous evening,” you nonchalantly bring it up and he shoves you towards the elevator, aggravated.

“Don’t nag me!!”

The meeting at “Savage“ club is not going well. The place is closed during the day, only the bar opened when the owner visits for meetings: The King of Gotham is pissed and you can tell by the way he blinks, not that the wanna be business partner noticed.

“I think that if we split the profit…” the guy keeps on yapping, unaware of the danger.

“Shut up!!!” you suddenly interrupt Max and he’s baffled. “You’re making him angry! You either talk about something he wants to hear or get lost,” the stern voice informs.“Mister Joker is a busy person, he doesn’t have time for nonsense.”

Max expects your boss to intervene but nothing happens: you speak and act for him and have been for years.

The newbie clearly didn’t do this homework.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea,” he clumsily apologizes and directs the conversation towards a better topic, changing the terms of the offer.

Your attention switches towards the waitress bringing in a glass of grape juice that J requested 10 minutes ago. Not a familiar girl, must be new.

She is anxious and wants to give the drink to him when you unexpectedly grab her wrist, digging your nails in her skin.

“You never hand him anything before giving it to me first, understand?” you growl and she whimpers in pain. “Stay still !” you firmly hold her arm and take out a small vial out of your pocket. One drop of that liquid in the grape juice, then you wait for a few a seconds. “All good, he can have it,” you conclude since it’s not poisoned.

Y/N always checks if J’s beverages have been tampered with; obviously nobody told the new waitress and that’s unacceptable! You’ll definitely have to organize a staff meeting and make sure everyone is on the same page.

In the meantime, the conversation went on in the background, meaning Max kept on running his mouth and The Joker carefully listened and sorted out the main parts, debating on the proposed transaction.

“Fine,” he decides to consider the suggested deal. “You’ll take Y/N tomorrow to your place so she can inspect the merchandise, then she’ll report to me and we’ll take it from there.”

“Of course sir,” the guy is fast to agree, hopeful he can do some lucrative business with The Clown Prince of Crime.


The Joker can’t sleep; insomnia strikes again and you’re not there to make the tea that helps him rest. You’re on a date again and he couldn’t care less. Why would he?

He slides the screen of his phone, yawning:

“Call wife.”

“Did you mean work wife?”  Siri corrects him because that’s how you’re listed on his cell.

“What’s the difference?!” he snarls, antagonized. “Yeah, call work wife. Video conference,” J commands, waiting for the camera to show something else besides the picture uploaded as your avatar.

After three rings a very dolled up Y/N pops up, not thrilled her night out is being interrupted by the green haired menace.

“Hi. What’s going on?” you tuck your hair behind your ears while your boyfriend’s laugh is heard in the distance: you had to abandon your table at the restaurant and run outside on the terrace in order to take the call.

“I want my tea,” J pouts and rubs his eyes, displeased at your attitude.

“I’m on a date!” you hiss and he’s not delighted.

“So?! I can’t sleep. Come make my tea!!”

“I see you’re in my apartment,” you recognize the surroundings on camera.

“It’s literally my apartment, I own the building,” he explains as if that gives him the right to barge in there anytime he feels like it.

You live in the quarters right below the Penthouse, this way you’re never too far. He drops by uninvited or unannounced all the damn time.

“You can make the tea yourself then,” you find the perfect solution and guide him. “Go to the kitchen…open the third cupboard to your left…. Your other left!!!” you watch him open the wrong cabinet. “You should know where stuff is by now!!”

“Don’t fucking yell at me, woman!” The Joker shouts, taking out the box of tea bags.“You should be doing this! I don’t know what else to add.”

“Honey,” you mumble, distracted by Kai that gestures to get your attention since the food arrived. 

“Bullshit! I’m sure you sprinkle God knows what in there so you can put me to sleep permanently!” J slams a porcelain cup on the counter, nosing around the perimeter like he always does.

You sigh, resigned:

“Our food arrived and Kai is waiting. I’ll see you in the morning before I go and check Max’s merchandise, ok? Good night!” and you press the red button on the screen, ending the dialogue.

“The nerve she has!” The Joker talks to himself, appalled at your bold action. “Making me do my own tea,” he keeps on complaining even if you’re not present to witness the agony.


1 in the morning and you’re finally returning to your place. The stilettos clicking on the wooden floors echo in the perfect silence as you are entering your bedroom. You take off the sandals and The Joker’s bitter tone makes you jump:

“There you are!”

You turn on the light just to see J lying in the middle of the bed, wearing nothing more than his favorite shorts.

“You’re still here?!” you crinkle your nose, fed up with his behavior.

“The tea didn’t work!” he argues, showing you the empty mug on the night stand. “I’m tired and can’t wind down!”

You know what that means and what he wants. Not the first or the last time this will happen. Yet you still attempt to reason with him:

“You should go back to the Penthouse, only one floor up. I’m exhausted myself and I have to rest since I have work to do tomorrow.”

“Nope, my only chance of having a decent sleep now is to have somebody besides me. You’re the only one around at this hour,” The Joker lists his hardships and requirements to a weary Y/N that realizes he won’t budge.

“You’re lucky my boyfriend is not jealous,” you take a deep breath and turn around, the backless gold dress exposing the tattoo you got a month ago: five rows of Kanji Japanese alphabet, your first and only ink. Goes well with the scars you got from the 10 years in his service: three bullet wounds and two stabbing marks and they are just the visible ones around the tattoo; there are others scattered on your toned frame.

“Are you ever gonna tell me what that tattoo means?” J watches you step towards the bathroom, snapping a picture of your back.

“I told you it’s personal,” you peak from behind the door before closing it so you can take a quick shower.

Doesn’t take more than 20 minutes to get ready for bed and put on your green PJ’s with purple skulls.

“Scoot over,” you address him since he’s still in the middle of the bed. J moves a bit and you get under the covers, his hand going around your waist but still keeps a few inches between the bodies.

That’s what he usually does and nothing else: if he doesn’t have a woman for the night or if the tea doesn’t work, he will come and bug you to sleep in the same bed because The Great Joker can’t sleep alone.

“Did you have sex?” he pokes in your personal life, eyelids getting heavy since he’s exhausted. 

“It’s none of your concern,” you whisper and turn off the lamp.

“Oh, so you did,” he maliciously snickers. You slap his hand and elaborate a bit more:

“At least I know his name because I’ve been sleeping with the same guy for a while now. Comparing to some other people that need a steady girlfriend and…”

“Don’t nag me!” J interrupts your speech. “I’m too tired for your bickering.”


The next day, The Joker stays at the hideout near Skyfall Bridge while you went with Max to check on the ammunition The Joker wants to buy from him.

“Frost,” he addresses the henchman, “do we have anybody that knows Japanese? I’m bored and want to check something.”

“I believe Richard does, sir,” Jonny searches his mind for more names but that’s the only person that could help on the spot. Richard is Panda’s real name, currently on a mission in Los Angeles and a simple text sent to him could solve the mystery of your tattoo.

Despite the environment you’re accustomed to, you never got any tattoos, except the one inked on your back last month and refused to disclose the translation.

J was pretty curious on what it might mean and now he has the opportunity to investigate; it’s not imperative for his existence, but might as well dig out the answer since he has nothing better to do for the moment.  

He sends a message to Panda, attaching the picture of your back:

“Translate this.”

After a few seconds, replies keep on popping up on The Joker’s phone screen.

“At a first glance I thought it was a Haiku, but it’s not. Whoever this was very clever in choosing the pattern and hiding the true meaning behind the characters.”

Sounds like her, J thinks quite intrigued.

One more text:

“The tattoo is actually a personal statement, sir. It reads: I’m madly in love with you and if we get together you’ll break my heart and I’m not in the mood for drama.”

A snort, followed by a dreadful chuckle, then his insane laughter resonates all over the building.

“That crazy woman!” The Joker cracks up, totally surprised. “The only tattoo on her and she got that!” He texts you right away:

“I know what the tattoo means.”

You are currently in the car with Max and he’s driving you to his warehouse on the other side of town; Gotham’s outskirts are about 2 hours away and you still have a good 30-45 minutes before you are out of Pinewood Forest. You dial Kai’s number again and no answer. You’ve been trying to get a hold of him since you woke up and find it strange because your boyfriend is normally very fast in returning your calls. 

You take a sip from your Pepsi can, then place it in the cup holder in between the seats when J’s text shows up on your phone:

“I know what the tattoo means.”

You smile and text back, entertained he finally figured it out:

“I thought you would appreciate the joke.”

This bitch smiles? Max glances your way without you noticing, hoping to fulfil the plan he’s been working on with others for the past half a year. He’s nervous and struggles to conceal his emotions because what he’s about to do takes a lot of courage: messing with The Joker is a dangerous matter.

You keep on texting back and forth with J and Max discretely drops a tiny pill in your Pepsi can, almost losing his cool when your hand reaches for the drink: the asshole thought he got busted. But you just finish your pop while calling Kai again, upset he’s not picking up.  

“Not too much longer and we’re out of the woods,” Max tries to make conversation again.

You are silent and stare outside, vexed with the guy: there’s this aura about him you can’t stand.

“As a token of my appreciation and business partnership, I have a present for you in the trunk,” he addresses an indifferent Y/N.

“I don’t like presents,” you snarl, moving your finger and toes since they feel numb: you probably need to stretch. You vision is getting blurry and you rub your eyes; the tingling sensation in your body intensifies and you start coughing.

“I know you check Mister Joker’s drinks all the time, but do you ever check yours?” the smirk on Max’s face makes you realize something is off. Your motion is impaired and before you can react in any way, he snatches the knife from his jacket and pushes it through your cheek, blood instantly splattering on the windows.

You feel your jaw and tongue being cut and scream in pain, not expecting such an attack. You choke in your own blood and even if paralysis is taking over you fight back: you use all the strength you have left to quickly pull the knife out of your face and impale his neck. The knife severs through his throat and the sharp end sticks out on the other side, Max not anticipating the vicious attack from the wounded and weakened Y/N. He’s starting to lose control of the car but he still tries to hit you, his breathing as erratic as yours. You yank at the steering wheel with one hand and use the other to twist the sharp blade in his neck, almost unconscious from the drug.

The SUV crashes in the trees on the side of the road and the impact makes both bodies move forward like rag dolls, the seat belts being the only security measure preventing further damage. For Max it doesn’t make a difference anymore: he’s dead on the spot.

Your grip on reality is also diminishing with alarming velocity, blood gushing out of your stabbed jaw and you can’t discern the throbbing ache anymore: whatever you ingested spread fast and you don’t have much time before it completely takes over.  You manage to open the door and crawl outside, hardly mustering the force to control your hand and search for the phone inside of your pocket. You want to use the voice command, but you can’t talk anymore. The bloody fingers slide the screen and touch the first name on your phone: work husband.

That’s how The Joker is listed in “Contacts”.

He promptly picks up. 

“Yes? What’s going on?”

Nothing but gurgling noises and wheezing, then quietness.

“Hello?” he tries again and no sounds come from the other end of the line. J frowns, pressing GPS locator app. “Find wife,” J orders and Siri needs to make sure:

“Did you mean work wife?”

“Yes, work wife! What’s the fucking difference?!” he gets annoyed with the smart phone.

“Locating work wife,” the voice announces, narrowing the map to smaller and smaller portions until the signal from your cell is pinpointed on the screen.

“Frost!” J gets Jonny’s attention. “Y/N is supposed to be in a moving car. Why isn’t she moving?”

“I’m not sure, sir. Did they take a shortcut though? The road going through Pinewood Forest is deserted and nobody uses it anymore.”

They look at each other and J gets up from his chair, having a bad feeling about the whole situation:

“I want a crew ready in 5 minutes!”


It wasn’t pretty when they find you: The Joker fumed at the sight of Y/N covered in blood, her face sliced up and barely clinging to life. And when they thought things couldn’t look worse, Kai’s dead body was discovered in the trunk of the SUV when they swept the area.

That’s why he didn’t answer your calls; he was murdered and you didn’t even know your boyfriend was actually in the same car with you the whole time.

J knew Max couldn’t have been the one plotting whatever scheme he didn’t get a chance to fulfill; The Clown Prince of Crime was certain other individuals were involved and he intended to get to the bottom of the conspiracy. No doubt the plan’s purpose was to bring down J’s reign over Gotham: not the first or the last attempt. They probably wished to start with a warning of some kind since the doctors found out that the drug you were given was wasn’t poison, but a very powerful tranquilizer.

The medical team had to perform reconstructive surgery on your tongue since half of it was sliced with the knife; your left jaw was wired and stitched together, a few metal bolts drilled in the gums, this way it can heal correctly. You were placed into an induced coma and fed through a gastric tube because you couldn’t eat anyway. The doctor in charge said it’s the best option for three months or so until they can wake you up and switch your diet on soft foods and nutritional shakes.

Who knows what was meant for you, but your skills were underestimated: Max found that out first hand.

Just like The Joker keeps on saying when he visits at the private clinic you were taken:

“My old girl is not that easy to bring down,” and you can’t even fight the remark. You would probably point out that 35 is the new 30 and J would scoff, underlining that any woman over 30 is old to him. Not that he believes that, but it’s fun to mock and being a jerk suits him.

You had a nervous breakdown when you were brought back to reality and find out Kai was gone. You blamed yourself for his death: your boyfriend was a target because of his connection to you and indirectly, The Joker.  There’s nothing worse than surviving a terrible fate and the man you love doesn’t.


You were released from the clinic yesterday and returned to your apartment bellow the Penthouse. It’s 10pm and The King of Gotham wants to see how you’re holding up. Plus, he has insomnia again and Y/N is the only one around to help out with that after the long absence.

He enters the code on the electronic pin pad at your door.

“Access denied,” the flat voice makes him growl.

He tries again. Same thing:

“Access denied.”

“What the fuck?” J cusses and takes the exit around the south corner of the building leading to your terrace. He tries to get in and the sliding doors are sealed, the curtains cover the glass and nothing can be detected on the other side. He calls your cell:

“This number can’t be reached,” the automatic answer makes him cringe; nothing left to do but grab a small rock from the ones surrounding the pond you have on your balcony and break the glass, creating a gap enough to fit his hand and unlock the latch.

The Joker is inside and walks straight to your bedroom. The door is wide opened, only some candles burn in the darkness.

“What are you doing?” J asks when he sees you on the floor with your back against the dresser. So many tissues around you and he can tell you’ve been crying. “You changed the code?! Why is your cell phone off?!”

“I want to be alone,” you mutter and he can barely understand since you can’t open your mouth to talk: your stitched jaw doesn’t permit a wide range of motion. You keep on wiping tears and he feels the need to sincerely criticize:

“If you’re worried about the scar, don’t worry. I’m OK looking at it: you’ve never been a stunning beauty and it’s not like it ruined your appearance.”

You didn’t even pay attention to the stupid joke.

“Did you eat?” The Joker kicks your leg and you lift your head to gaze at him.

“I can’t eat,” the muffled words make him gesture towards the numerous cases of protein and vitamin shakes stored around the room.

“I know you can’t eat regular food yet, but these are good enough for now.”

You blow your nose as he sniffs the air around.

“Did you take a shower today?”

“I want to be alone,” you repeat and he pretends to be deaf.

“Come on, a bath will make you feel better. I won’t look, I promise,” he pulls you up against your will, forcing a miserable Y/N towards the bathroom.

You don’t care if he sees you naked or not, that’s not the problem; you just want to be on your own and grieve without him bothering you.

“I’m closing my eyes now,” and he does, taking off the oversized t-shirt you’re wearing. “Take off your undies and I’ll turn on the water. I’m not a perv like you, don’t worry.”

You know what he’s referring to: you saw him naked before and not because you tried to. J thought you’ll be shocked to see him coming out of the shower with nothing on but you rolled your eyes and concluded:

“I guess you need boxers also,” and started digging in one of the drawers in his closet for the item. You didn’t seem embarrassed at all and it annoyed him. He had to say it:

“Now that you’ve seen perfection, try to find a boyfriend who can top this!”

“Perfection?” you handed over a pair of boxers to the proud Joker. “You have the same components as any other man on the planet.”

“You’re pissing me off!” he grumbled and pushed you out of the bedroom, mad not too many things phased you. “Components!” you heard J huff before he slammed the door in your face.

“I want to be alone,” you reiterate when you see that he is making himself comfortable in bed after finishing your bath.

“I can’t sleep; I even tried the tea and it had no effect. Having a warm body besides me will work wonders,” The Joker pats your stack of pillows, inviting Y/N in her own personal space.

“Kai is dead and do you think I give a shit that you can’t sleep? Go back to your place!” you stutter, fustrated you can’t pronounce the words appropriately. Tears of indignation roll down your face and he tugs on your hand, compelling you to slide under the covers.

“I have no idea what you just said,” J holds on to your waist and you wiggle, wanting to escape his grip. You start bawling and he squeezes you in his arms, feeling you’re gradually hug him back. Y/N can’t stop crying and the only thing The Joker can do is comfort his upset wife.

Well, work wife.

What’s the difference anyway?

Also read: Masterlist

AO3 account - same blog name: DiYunho

Joker Imagine - I love you

Your P.O.V.

‘‘Go away, Y/N’‘ ‘‘I’m busy’‘ ‘‘Not now’‘ 

Those were the things I heard on a daily basis. Maybe I should’ve guessed this could happen when I started seeing the Joker. It was a few months ago when he robbed the jewelry shop I worked in. I had been terrified but for some reason I didn’t call the cops. He took me with him and I actually enjoyed it.

We got along and I completely let go of my life to be his henchgirl. I fell for the Joker but lately I started feel lonely. He never had time for me and I spent so much time alone in the penthouse, watching tv or reading a book.

It got to the point I started regretting everything

My bag had the most important things in it and some cash. I was holding back tears as I stared at my belongings. It ached my heart but I was convinced that J wouldn’t even notice I was gone. I zipped up the bag and walked out of our bedroom. I put on my shoes, a trenchcoat and a hat so I wouldn’t be so recognizable. Before I left, I decided to try it one more time.

I took a deep breath and walked up to his office. I knocked on the door and opened it a little bit. ‘’What is it now?’’ He sighed and kept his eyes on the desk. ‘’I was just wondering..if..you’d like to do something today’’ I asked him and tried to smile. ‘’It’s a sweet thought doll but I’m busy’’ He answered with another sigh. I gulped because I almost sobbed. I truly thought he could get up from that chair but no.

‘‘Okay’‘ I mumbled, shut the door and walked off. I grabbed my bag and then left the penthouse with an aching heart.

                     A few hours passed as I just walked around. I had nowhere to go and I knew I should look for apartments, but I wasn’t in the mood. I just walked. As the day grew dark, I sat down in an alley on top of a dumpster. It was better than sitting on the ground. Then I leaned against the wall and looked up. The stars tried to shine through the clouds but they were barely visible.

Then I chuckled as I wondered if J had even noticed. I left a letter on the bed so he wouldn’t worry that someone found his damn hideout. Still, it hurt. I had fallen in love with him and I was just a toy for him. At least it felt like it.

All the things I had done. I had been by his side while he killed people. It didn’t make me sad but I could go to Arkham just because of that. Maybe I should? Maybe I deserved to serve my time? 

‘‘No’‘ I muttered to myself and jumped onto my feet. I would not go to that looney bin no matter what. I started heading towards the nearest hotel where I could spend the night.

As I got inside the hotel, I headed to reception. ‘’I’d like a room for one’’ I muttered and put cash on the desk. The lady stared at my money and then at me, wide eyed. ‘’A-Are you..Y/N?’’ She stuttered, almost trembling. Her hand travelled underneath the desk and she pressed a button. ‘’Yes but I’m not like that anymore’’ I defended myself.

Just then someone grabbed my arm. I turned around and saw a security guard. ‘’Hey! Let go of me!’’ I yelled and tried to tug myself free. I hadn’t done anything! The guard tried to put handcuffs around me and that’s when my anger took the best of me. I kicked his thigh and then his grip on me loosened. I punched his jaw and watched as the guard fell onto his back. Without second doubts, I ran straight out of the hotel.

‘‘Fucking hell’‘ I groaned as I tried to find a hiding place. It was so unfair. I ran and ran until I saw ladders. ‘‘Perfect’‘ I smiled and started climbing on top of a building. As I reached the top, I sat down. My heart was pumping hard and I was feeling the adrenaline in my body. Although I was angry, I kinda liked it. Although I must say that I’d like to sleep in a nice bed even more.

‘‘Not so fast, Y/N’‘ A deep voice broke the silence.I clenched my jaw as I looked up to see Batman. Of course, the damn Bat would come for me! ‘‘Fuck off you big flying idiot!’‘ I screeched and stood up. ‘‘I haven’t done anything! Let me be’‘ I hissed, ready to fight that man. ‘‘You attacked a guard’‘ Batman said, making my blood boil. He tried to come closer so he could get me but I wouldn’t allow it. I stepped back. Suddenly he stopped but I kept backing off.

‘‘I didn’t do anything, Bats. The guard came without a-’‘ I defended myself but suddenly I didn’t feel a surface beneath me. I fell back and then screamed. I was falling to the fucking ground! It all happened so fast that I couldn’t process my fear.

But before I got smashed like an egg, someone grabbed me. I held onto whoever had me. The person got us down safely and that’s when tears started to roll down my face. ‘’You gotta be careful, darling’’ A raspy voice said, making me gasp. I looked at my saviour and saw the Joker. ‘’How did you-why..’’ I tried to speak but I was trembling like mad. All these thoughts were running around my head.

Then I saw Batman trying to get Joker. ‘’Watch out, Puddin!’’ I hissed and he ducked just in time. I grabbed Joker’s gun that he always had with him and then pointed at Batman. ‘’You’’ I growled madly, allowing my anger to control me. Joker smiled as he watched the situation.

‘‘Put it down’‘ Batman warned me seriously. I just flashed him a smile and loaded the gun. ‘‘You got about three seconds before I blow your brains out’‘ I let him know. Batman tried to hit the gun out of my head, but I pulled the trigger and it barely touched him, but it was enough make a hole in his cape.

Joker’s henchmen surrounded Batman and that’s when I stepped back. ‘’Let’s go’’ Joker said and took his gun away from me. I glanced at Batman one more time until we left. It wasn’t until we sat in his car that I realised what had happened. I left him and he came for me, saving my life and now I was in his car..

‘‘I didn’t enjoy your letter baby’‘ Joker broke the silence as we drove. Guilt punched my guts. ‘‘I’m sorry’‘ I whispered, looking out of the window. ‘‘No, I’m sorry’‘ He said which honestly surprised me. I almost gasped at his words. The Joker never said that. Never ever in a million years would I have believed to hear that.

‘‘You know doll..I don’t really do this too often. Actually, I don’t remember ever feeling like this’‘ He started to say weird things. I kept my eyes on him as I waited for him to continue. ‘‘I..I love you okay? I thought I lost you and it made me mad’‘ He admitted quietly, almost like he wasn’t sure how to say it. My heart fluttered in my chest and I swear I almost started crying.

Joker held onto the steering wheel tightly and he looked angrily on the road. We were quiet for a while. I was overwhelmed by everything but mostly because he said that. ‘’I love you too’’ I let him know and smiled. Then I leaned against the car seat happily.

He loved me!

@delicrieux  (I wrote this in a hurry so I’m sorry if it sucks haha)

The Joker x Reader - “Mommy”

It was a well known fact The Joker’s girlfriend left him with four young children and disappeared. It was also known that his ex stepped up and took care of them even if she didn’t have to. The King of Gotham might have lost his woman, but he never lost his Queen.

Part 2        Part 3       Part 4      Part 5

You had no idea why The Joker kept on getting her pregnant; she definitely didn’t like to take care of their children nor had any interest in them. But it was none of your business so you kept your mouth shut. J wanted you to continue to work for him and you had no objections: he trusted his ex and you loved what you were doing so it was fine.

They were always fighting and his girlfriend disappeared for days and sometimes even weeks without a phone call or text. The Joker would ask you to babysit Kase while he searched for Anya; the baby was adorable and you didn’t mind.

Even when she was home, you still had to keep an eye on the little one because that woman would simply neglect to change or feed him. J would snap and they would get in such heated arguments you were surprised they didn’t kill each other yet.  If The King of Gotham was the one realizing his kid was lacking the proper nurture, you clearly don’t have too much going on in the motherhood department.

It broke your heart when you would go over to the penthouse and find Kase crying in his crib, hungry and really needing his diaper changed. J was gone with business and she would wonder off God knows where as soon as you stepped inside.

“Oh great, you’re here!” Anya would roll her eyes and sneaked out, leaving without any other explanation.

“Hey buddy, don’t cry. I’m here now,” you used to comfort him and the baby would stop crying as soon as he was changed and fed. Kase sure got a lot of kisses and snuggles since you felt sorry for the poor tiny soul. I mean, what fault did an innocent child had in any of it? None. Absolutely none.

One month after giving birth to the twin boys, Anya was nowhere to be found: three small beings left at their absent mother’s mercy. This time, J didn’t have to ask you to get involved: you offered and he didn’t object. It was exhausting to tend to a toddler and two newborns but you had all the supplies you needed plus help whenever required.

The Joker searched for his woman like crazy and finally found her in Los Angeles and brought her home again. At that point, you were basically staying at the penthouse, raising kids that weren’t yours yet you couldn’t help it. You were attached to them and had the feeling they would end up dead without somebody to care for them.

“Why is she here, hm?” you would hear Anya shout in the middle of the night, the argument escalating with alarming velocity. “Are you fucking her again?”

“I’m not fucking her !!!” he would yell back and it was true. “My ex-girlfriend is here taking care of our children because you don’t !!”

“Why don’t you take care of them? I didn’t get pregnant on my own now, did I?!”

You were sleeping upstairs in the same bedroom with the twins and had to close the door in order not to hear anything anymore. Thank goodness Zane and Aiden were actually pretty good babies, didn’t wake up very often and noise didn’t seem to bother them.

But it pissed you off she was such an ungrateful person! Anya had no idea how many dates you canceled in order to be a surrogate mother to her kids. Your boyfriend lost his patience and dumped you simply because you couldn’t abandon your self-imposed maternal duties.

You and Frost were in charge of J’s security, but you found yourself in charge of his offsprings also. And the bitch was getting on your nerves with her irresponsible and entitled behavior.

When she got pregnant the third time, you got mad. Another kid ??!! Because, you know, things were so great with the first 3!!

Mia was born on a Sunday and Anya vanished two weeks after having her. You were the one that find the note on the kitchen table: “Don’t try to find me, I’m not coming back. Keep the kids.”

The Joker had a terrible fit but didn’t pursuit the idea of going after her, which surprised you in a way. Who knows what was going on in his mind; you didn’t bring up the sensitive subject and J didn’t elaborate more than a few sentences about it.

The Clown Prince of Crime definitely wasn’t the epitome of fatherhood, but he made sure the babies had everything they needed. This desire was mostly coming only from his strong sense of possessiveness: he just knew that they belonged to him and that was it. Besides that, J was completely lost and unable to show anything but very basic emotions, if you could even call them that.


When you are away, the little ones miss you. You just came back after a 5 days trip to New York so the kids follow you around the penthouse like ducklings, wanting attention: a four year old and two year old twins. You are holding the seven month old Mia in your arms and the boys clench to your long dress, stumbling into each other, but not wanting to let go.

“Moooommy,” Kase whines, jealous his sister is getting kisses.

“Mommy, kiss !” Zane pulls on your gown and you have to stop and get down on your knees.

“Who wants kisses?” you smile, letting Mia crawl on the carpet while the boys pucker their lips, impatiently waiting. You snatch all of them in your arms and randomly start kissing them in a frenzy while they giggle, ticklish.

The Joker mutters something on the couch, watching TV. You have an idea about what he might be: he probably made a comment again about the children calling you mommy. You told them to stop calling you that, but they continue to do it. After all, you are the only woman constantly around, taking care of them.

“J ?”

“What?” he bitterly answers.

“Did you even hold them while I was gone?!” you sigh, having a feeling he didn’t since they are so clingy.

“I was busy,” he grumbles, scratching his Batsy tattoo.

“You don’t seem busy now,” you get up, taking Kase’s hand and leading him to his father.”Here,” you help the young boy sit in J’s lap and wrap his arms around his son.

The King of Gotham is not very excited about your move; still he takes a deep breath and asks:

“What’s going on, kid?”

Kase’s eyes get big; he just couldn’t wait for his parent to show some interest in him. The boy starts talking up a storm, something about Legos and his toys. The Joker tries to understand every single word but some are mispronounced and he kind of gets the point, but not entirely.

“U-hum,” he nods his head and the boy rambles on, excited, playing with J’s gold chains.“A-ha, “ he agrees again, intrigued.

“OK daddy?” the question pops up and The Clown Prince of Crime takes the easy way out:


“Yaaayyy, daddy!” and J gets a kiss on the left cheek, then Kase jumps off his lap, running around the living room, screaming and making airplane noises.

“Y/N, what did I just agree to?” a very confused Joker needs to know.

“More toys, especially Legos,” you bring to his knowledge, urging the twins to follow you and you place them on J’s knees.

“Oh, great, because they don’t have enough!” This time he holds them while they bounce their legs, enthusiastic, bickering about who should get more of their father.

“Aiden, don’t slap your brother! How many times did I tell you not to hit each other? If you do that again, you’ll be in trouble!!! Don’t make me repeat myself! J ?? Are you just going to sit there and not react?!!” you scold, picking up Mia since she crawled back to your feet again.

“I think we’re in trouble,” The Joker whispers, rolling his eyes. “Stop fighting I guess,” he enunciates without any trace of enthusiasm. The kids chuckle, pushing one another and cuddling to J’s chest in the process.

“Com’ere, chubby,” the little girl gets a few kisses on her rosy cheeks and she babbles, yawning. “Are you sleepy? I guess it’s time for your nap, hm? Hey J, did the boys eat?”

“Yeah,” he answers, bored and you go to the kitchen, prepare some formula and bring the Princess back. You signal the twins to go play and you place Mia in The Joker’s arms, handing him the bottle.

“Here, feed your daughter.”

He scoffs, not thrilled but does it anyway.

“Aiden, don’t put that in your mouth!” you rush to take the shoe from him and he yells, running to his brothers, taking refuge with everyone under J’s purple coat. They all hide, whispering and thinking that if they can’t see you, you can’t see them either.

“Brats!” you mumble, letting them be for the moment and open the pantry in the hallway. “J ?” you get annoyed, “why do we still have a bunch of baby food with carrots and peas? You know Mia doesn’t like it, I told you to throw it away!”

“I forgot, woman! Give me a break !” he huffs, quite immersed into his current task. The little girl’s eyes wonder off, searching for you and stops sucking from the bottle until she sees you, then begins eating again.

“Moommyyyy,” whining is heard from under the purple coat,” Zane bit me!”

“Don’t bite your brother!” you raise your voice and there is fighting going on and more complaints.

“Mooommyyy, Aiden pinched me!”

Muffled laughter and more quarrel.

“Don’t pinch your brother!” you admonish, taking Mia away from The Joker since she’s fussing and refuses the bottle. “Come on, nap time for everybody!”

The boys emerge from under the jacket, tossing it on the floor and trampling on it, while their father gasps:

“That’s my favorite coat!!!!”

“Moommmyyyy, ice cream?” Zane follows you and you don’t have time to reply because J grouchily interrupts:

“Quit calling her mommy!! She’s not your mother!”

It feels like a slap in the face.

You abruptly stop and the boys bump into you. You turn towards The Joker, your blood boiling with indignation.

“I didn’t teach them to call me that and you know it ! I told them to stop and they won’t ! What do you want me to do, hm?! Glue their lips so they won’t talk?! I know I’m not their mother, you don’t have to remind me!”

J has some elaborated comeback but he doesn’t get the chance to continue because you literally burst out.

“Do you think it’s easy for me to take care of children you had with another woman?! Do you remember what you told me when we were together and I brought up the subject of having kids? You told me you don’t want any!!!! And then you met Anya and you had four !! Which means that you just didn’t want to have children WITH ME in particular ! Do you know how much that hurt?! But I stepped on my pride and raised them for the last four years because I realize they have absolutely no blame in this circus! You don’t like it they call me mommy??! Then bring back that trash-excuse-of-a-girlfriend and make her take care of them!!!!”

The boys shove themselves into you, startled and Mia whimpers, uneasy. You start walking again and J is speechless.

“What the hell was that, Y/N?!” he shouts and you can’t let it go so you extend your tirade. He’s really getting on your nerves.

“In all these years, did you ever thank me for everything I do?! Not even once!!!! And don’t think I’m not aware you sabotage my dates! I know you are saying things to the guys I like, don’t try to deny it!!!!” and you stump up the stairs, get everyone in the twins’ bedroom and slam the door shut.

J takes deep breaths, staring at the ceiling, talking to himself and nothing sounds nice. A few minutes pass and he decides to go after you and barges into the bedroom without knocking. Mia is almost asleep on top of you and the boys are gathered around your body, ready to doze off. They pout, frowning at their father: all they know is daddy said something that upset mommy. You truly look like Mother Hen with little chicks to shelter from the world.

“Building yourself an army with my kids, hm?” J sucks on his teeth and the boys give him mean glares. You reach to kiss the top of their heads, ignoring his remark. “I have a date tonight so I need you to babysit. I hate it when I have to bring others to watch them.”

“Fine, I don’t care. I missed them anyway,” you grumble, getting comfortable; might as well take a nap also.

“OK, done deal,” The Joker lingers in the doorway, debating on a simple idea that came to him while he was downstairs.


You enter the kitchen and notice the table full of boxes: Chinese food delivery from your favorite restaurant. J is already at the table, sitting on a chair and apparently waiting for you to show up.

“Don’t you look dashing,” you make an effort to start the conversation since you are still mad at him.

“I always look dashing,” he scoffs, pushing a chair towards you with his foot. “Sit!”

You hesitate and he insists:

“I said sit!”

Great, you will have to listen to him lecture you now. You do as asked, keeping your composure.

“It’s 8pm, aren’t you going?” you tap your fingers on the table, smelling the delicious food and it makes you hungry.

“As soon as the kids are tucked in and asleep,” he gives you a stupid reason, pretending to give a damn.

“They are asleep, just changed Mia and placed her in the crib.”

“Eat,” J leans over the table and gives you chopsticks. “I ordered your favorites,” and you seem a bit confused when he grabs a pair of chopsticks, opening a box and calmly begins to eat.

“Didn’t you say you have a date?” you bring it up, wanting him to disappear so you can relax and enjoy some quietness.

“I do,” he growls and your reaction is not a happy one when you realize what he means.

“Uggghhh,” you strain to contain your displeased attitude.

“Shut up and eat !” he kicks your chair and you drop the piece of sushi you took a bite from in your lap. “ You made me feel sorry for you since apparently you are not interesting enough to keep a man,” he smirks, pleased he can elaborate on his favorite subject.

“Yeah… right…” you stab your plate, poking a piece of fried calamari. “You’re the one chasing them away.”

“You have proof?”

“I know you are!”

“Ha! I don’t have to, Y/N. You’re just boring.”

You exhale, aggravated, changing the subject.

“Any news from The Queen?”  

Anya randomly calls him from time to time.

“She is no Queen !” J’s eyes suddenly lose their glow, his voice getting husky. “In order for a woman to be my Queen she has to earn my trust; you stopped being my girlfriend a long time ago, but you never stopped being The Queen of Gotham.”

The unexpected disclosure almost makes you choke. The Joker hears you sniffle and sees the tears rolling down your cheeks.

“You need a binky? We have plenty lying around.”

“N…no…” you barely chew on your food, not wanting to cry.

“Anya did call while you were in New York,” J admits and you lift your gaze, interested. ”She said she wants Mia. Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!” he sarcastically laughs,  “Like I’m going to engage into a custody battle of some sorts with her? Our children don’t even legally exist ! You know what else she said?”

He’s getting worked up and you assume the worst.

“She said she wants Mia because she’s not mine! Can you believe that?!” he slams his fist on the table and it makes you anxious.

“What?… No way! Of course she’s yours,” you wipe your watery eyes, the new revelation making you alert again. “The children are all yours !”

You surely don’t like the new twist on this night and leave your chair, going around the table and cup his face, wishing to calm down the demons before they break free.

“Look at me,” and the blue eyes meet yours. “All four are yours. Don’t listen to her; you know how she lies and manipulates things!”

“Mommmyyyyy,” you hear from upstairs. “Moommyyyyy!”

“I think Zane had a nightmare again. I’ll be back,” you caress his hair for a few seconds then leave, insecurity already creeping up in his mind.


The next day you are going out with Alex, one of J’s smugglers. He is picking you up at the penthouse and hangs out with The Joker in the living room, waiting for you to get ready.

“Alex?” J casually scrolls through his phone, smacking his lips.

“Sir?” the guy’s body stiffens, not knowing what to expect.

“If I hear that you upset Y/N in any way, besides the fact that she will break your neck first, I will PERSONALLY make sure your body is never found again. Do we understand each other?”

This is what J always tells to all the guys you date: his way of being protective and he genuinely means it.

“Y-yes sir,” Alex nervously gulps, praying you’ll hurry up so he doesn’t have to be around The Joker’s menacing presence anymore.

An hour into your date and his cell rings. He picks up.

“Hey J, how are the kids?”

Alex’s voice is heard in the background, cracking up about something.

“The kids are fine!” J snaps and hangs up.

How rude, you think, returning to your drink at the bar and partner.

Another hour and a half pass, you call him again.

“J, it’s me. How are the kids?”

“They’re fine woman; go back to your date! The guy is gonna dump you tomorrow and then you’ll blame me again!” and he hangs up.

Jesus, what’s wrong with him? you crack your neck and go back to the table at the restaurant.

Two more hours and another call. This time you don’t even get to say a word before J screams:

“They’re fine!!!!!!” and he hangs up.

Wow, so ungrateful, and you wave Alex to come over on the dance floor since you really want to have fun.


As soon as you get back to the penthouse in the early morning, you go upstairs to check on the children. They are sleeping and you wonder where J went since he is not in his room. You search around and don’t have to go too far: he’s on the balcony. It’s snowing and the pale dawn makes Gotham sparkle under the heavy snowflakes.

“I’m back,” you announce and bundle up inside your coat; it’s chilly and windy. “Insomnia?” you address him, noticing the dark circles under his eyes. He stares at the city he owns, the tall buildings still lit. “Are you ok?” you touch his hands resting on the railing and they are as cold as ice.

“She’s not mine…” J utters, frozen after being outside for hours.

“Huh?” you get closer to him to hear better because his lips barely moved.

“Mia is not mine,” he digs in his coat’s pocket, giving you a few papers and you turn the pages, stunned: they contain paternity test results. It is a match for the boys but no match for the little Princess.

“When did you do this?” you inquire, still in disbelief.

“While you were gone, after she told me. I wanted to make sure and I got the results yesterday after you went on your date,” J sighs, a sharp ache clawing at his heart. “She’s not mine…what am I supposed to do with her now?”

You don’t like the question.

“What do you mean?”

“Mia is not my daughter. I obviously have no use for her; I don’t want her here,” The Joker’s poisonous comment gives you goosebumps.

“How can you say that?! She’s just an innocent baby! It’s not her fault!”
“I don’t want her here!” he barks, lifting the collar of his furry coat.

“Well, I do!” you take action, scared of this new idea of his. “If you don’t want her, I’ll take her! She’s my little girl,” you start crying, hoping to change the outcome of his plans.

“None of the kids are yours!” he pushes you away and storms inside, leaving you petrified on the terrace.


You couldn’t sleep for a second so you spent the last three hours organizing documents and ammo in the basement. You go up to the penthouse again, checking to see if the children are awake. The boys are still dreaming, but when you step inside Mia’s bedroom, her crib is empty and your hearts stops.

“Oh my God!” you immediately wake up from your sluggish state, frightened. “Love bug? Where are you?” and you sweep the room – of course she’s not there.

Your legs are getting shaky as you go downstairs, desperate to find her.

“Jaaayyy? Jaayy?” you call his name and surprisingly he answers from his office.


“Where’s Mia?” you run around, panicking.

“I dropped her at the orphanage downtown, told you I don’t want her!” he snarls from beyond the cracked door and you grab your car keys in a hurry, scared to death. The Joker hears the elevator going down and comes out of the office, holding Mia in his arms.

“Where the hell did that crazy woman go?! It’s a blizzard out there!” J lifts her higher on his hip and she baby talks, smiling so innocently he feels awkward and since there is nobody around, he kisses her forehead repeatedly, squeezing her more to his chest. “Oh, shit, you think she went downtown?!” he asks for the little girl’s opinion like she understands him. “That crazy woman!” The Joker huffs, “She completely lost her mind!”

Mia wiggles in his arms, cooing and making cute sounds.

“I’m glad you agree,” J take his cell out of his pocket and dials your number but the phone goes off on the coffee table: you left it there and he can’t reach you. “Great!” he hums, dialing Frost’s number and his henchman picks up.

“Frost, we have to drive downtown.”


It was very hard to drive on the stormy weather, but you made it to the orphanage and your heart stopped when you heard no child was abandoned there this morning. Did he leave her outside in the cold snow and someone took her?!  You circle the huge building several times, bawling your eyes out because there is no trace of Mia. You even ask a few people brave enough to walk in the tempest but no one saw anything.

You don’t even know where to go; how could he do something like this? Discard such a sweet angel like an unwanted object when you made it clear you would take her. Where is she? Did she crawl somewhere and she is buried under the snow?!

All these thoughts race through your mind as you make your way around the building one more time, cold and tired but not giving up.

You hear heavy steps behind you and The Joker’s voice echoes in the white stillness:

“Are you looking for this?”

You turn around and there she is: he is holding Mia, the baby bundled up in her pink furry coat, wearing that adorable cat ears hat.

You almost trip and fall in the snow, but get to him and snatch her from his grip, distancing away as fast as you can.

“My little love bug,” you keep on kissing her, running towards your car, feverish and anxious while her tiny hands clutch to your jacket.

“What are you doing?” you hear The Joker approaching and you walk faster.

“I’m taking her away!” you shout, struggling to find your car keys and he pulls on your hood, slowing down your movement in order to catch up with you.

“Away? Where, to the penthouse?” J pants, not willing to chase after you again.

“No, away from you where she will be safe! “

“What about the boys?” the problem arises and you become more nervous.

“You left her here in the cold?” you punch his shoulder, trying to pass him but he walks in front of you.

“Are you insane?! Of course I didn’t abandon her in the cold; she was in the office with me!” The Joker growls, pissed.

“You’re a terrible person! I was so worried!” you begin to cry again and Mia winces, uncomfortable in your tight hold.

“We have to go back; the storm is only getting worse. I am fucking freezing since I had to leave the penthouse in a hurry wearing just my purple coat and a shirt, looking for a crazy woman downtown Gotham in this snow storm!! Come on, we’ll send for your car later. Frost is parked across the street,” he gestures, pointing at the black van.

You hesitate and J needs to bring out the mommy in you.

“The boys are probably up by now, wondering how come you’re not there to make them pancakes. You want them to starve to death?!” he over exaggerates, flaring his arms around.

“No, of course not,“ you mumble, following his steps, convinced nobody else on the planet makes better breakfast than you.

“Then hurry up, your kids are waiting!” he has an outburst of clarity while you lean on him for balance, careful not to slip.

You didn’t even realize he referred to his children as yours too, but this is probably why your heart is beating faster.  And all you can think right now is what else you can cook for breakfast.

That’s what mothers do.



Joker Imagine - He tries to protect you

Originally posted by hopelessignite

Joker’s P.O.V.

Y/N’s sweet voice was echoing through the penthouse as she made something in the kitchen. She sounded so happy. I was in my office, the door wide open as I sat here alone. Something was off. Nothing felt the same anymore. Suddenly there was a person I didn’t want to harm. But I did. Not necessarily by my own hand but I put her in danger by being with her.

‘’..-maybe I’m just in love when you wake me up’’ Y/N sang and started humming something. That’s it. I got up from my chair, taking a deep breath. Then I growled by myself, not being quite happy and excited about what I would do. I left my office, slamming the door at the same time. It made a big sound which made Y/N fall silent. I wanted her to think I was angry.

As I reached the kitchen, I saw her facing me with her back. Her H/C hair was still damp from a shower. She was wearing her leggings and one of my shirts. ‘’Look at me’’ I demanded, speaking quite harshly. Y/N turned around with a small, red smile on her beautiful doll face. ‘’Is everything okay J?’’ She wanted to know. Our eyes met and I had to look away. ‘’No, at least not with you around’’ I spat rudely, making her smile fade away. I clenched my jaw and hit the kitchen island hard, making Y/N flinch.

‘‘What did I do?’‘ Y/N asked me with a small voice, her eyes turning glossy. I didn’t intend to hurt her but I had to. She couldn’t come back to me. Never. ‘‘What did you do? Look at yourself!’‘ I yelled and pointed at her. ‘‘You’re playing housewife or something. Do you think I need an ugly bitch running around my house all day? You can’t do anything right’‘ I raised my voice, word by word. I could see how each word broke her heart a little bit. I rarely felt bad but this felt wrong.

‘‘I..J I’m..sorry’‘ Y/N struggled to find the right words. ‘‘Get out’‘ I hissed, looking at her as angrily as I could. It made a shiver run down my spine. Tears escaped her pretty eyes and she held her breath. It’s like she wasn’t sure what she heard. Damn. ‘‘Get the hell out before I make you regret you ever met me!’‘ I shouted as loudly as I could. Y/N dropped the fork she had used earlier. It hit the floor and then she walked out of the kitchen. I listened to her steps closely.

Just before Y/N left, I heard her sobbing. The door shut and silence surrounded me. I stared at the kitchen island blankly, trying to process what had happened in my mind. The voices were yelling things on top of each other, nothing made sense. But it was for the best, right?


 It had been about a week since I made Y/N leave. Long story short, I had been a mess. The anger took over me and I trashed my office. Everything was out of order and broken. I hated to admit it but I missed her. But I did it to protect her.

‘‘Boss’‘ I heard Frost’s voice. I looked at him angrily, almost so angry that I could get up and kill him. He seemed nervous. ‘‘What?’‘ I grunted, feeling ill. Last night I had too many drinks.It was a bad day. Really bad.

‘‘Y/N is missing’‘ Frost let me know. Just hearing her name made me wake up a little bit. I grabbed my gun and stared at Frost silently. He couldn’t help but to glance at my hand and what I was holding. ‘‘What the hell did you just say?’‘ I breathed out. ‘‘No one has seen her since she..was by the docks with some now gang. They call themselves the pythons (I just made something up)’‘ Frost let me know more.

The pieces clicked in my head almost immediately. Y/N, being known for being a criminal couldn’t just go and live a normal life. She must’ve tried to find herself some business and met up with these new people. 

‘‘Most likely they kidnapped her. I saw the security footage’‘ Frost added shortly. I stood up and walked up to him. ‘‘You better show it to me’‘ I growled, receiving a nod from him. Anger made my blood boil. I had made Y/N leave so she wouldn’t have to be in danger thanks to me. Now she was in danger.


Frost took me to a computer where he opened a file. A video popped up on the screen and I saw everything in pixelated black and white. In the middle, I saw Y/N. Something strange washed across me as I saw her. She was in the middle of four guys, all tall and dressed in dark. They seemed to talk casually. A few seconds later, one of them hit her knee with a bat.

Y/N fell to the ground but she tried to get herself up. It was too late. She got a hit on her back as well, sending her on her stomach. The men grabbed her forcefully and threw her into a Mustang. The car drove off and the video ended. My hands were in tight fists and I grew more mad as I thought about it. 

How could anyone hurt my queen like that?

‘‘I tracked the car to an address’‘ Frost cleared his throat. Good for him. ‘‘Get the car ready. We’re going to kill some people’‘ I growled harshly. Frost nodded and hurried out and down to the garage. Although I was angry, I couldn’t help but to laugh. I laughed at myself for doing everything.

I hurt Y/N for no reason. This was all unnecessary business


Frost and some other henchmen and I parked in front of an old factory. The building was supposed to be white but time had made it grey. We got out of the car, all holding loaded guns. I led the group inside, without knocking. The building smelled like drugs. I turned on the lights and saw a big area with packages. Then I heard talking further away.

‘‘This way’‘ I spoke and walked quickly towards the voices. I had already a plan in my head of what I’d do to the men who had hurt Y/N. Silence took over the people as they say me. At least 15 men, all in the same dark clothes shut up. They stared at me and my henchmen like they had faced death.

‘‘Surprised?’‘ I smiled darkly and played with my gun. No one dared to speak up. they just stared in silence as I had entered their hideout. ‘‘Now give me the girl back before I blow this place up’‘ I yelled, making nearly all of them flinch. they changed looks like cowards. It pissed me off so I shot the ceiling.

‘‘Okay okay..follow me’‘ One with tattoos all over his face spoke.I growled and then walked after him. He led me through a door where I saw another door. it was locked. The man unlocked it and I saw a black room. The lights got turned on and that’s when I saw her.

Y/N was in the corner of an empty, cold room. She was barely wearing anything. Her delicate skin was covered in bruises and cuts. She was just hugging her knees as she slept. It wasn’t a pleasing sight to see. It just pushed my buttons to the limit.

I didn’t think twice as I shot the guy who opened the door. He grunted in pain as blood splattered on the floor and even my clothes. It didn’t make me feel bad at all. In fact - it felt good.It signalled my henchmen to open fire and kill everyone in sight. I heard multiple gunshots and screams. they were enough to wake Y/N up. Her eyes were slightly open. One of them was swollen and bruised. Then she looked at the door with fear written all over her. Our eyes met and I wasn’t sure if she was relieved or scared.

‘‘J?’‘ Y/N breathed out. Her voice was hoarse, like she hadn’t had anything to drink for ages. It made me feel rotten. I just wanted to hurt people for doing this. I wanted to see life slipping away from anyone who had dared to be part of this shit.

‘‘Let’s go home’‘ I said, trying to avoid the fact I had thrown her out a week ago. I wanted her back. I actually enjoyed her around. As you could tell, I never wanted her away anyway. I thought I had made sure this would never happen as I left her but I was wrong.

Y/N tried to get up but she just winced in pain. I couldn’t just stand and watch as she got more hurt. So I walked up to her and picked her up in my arms. Y/N inhaled sharply and let her tears fall down her damaged face. It’s like she had been thrown into a pack of elephants who had stepped on her. 

It’s like we both ignored last week. Y/N clinged onto me with the last energy she had as I took us out of the room. We walked to the room where my goons were waiting. All of the gang members were on the ground, twitching and bleeding in pain, some already dead. 

‘‘Look, they’re all gone now’‘ I told Y/N. She managed to look around weakly. Although she was in a very bad condition, she smiled. ‘‘I hope..t-they suffered’‘ Y/N coughed and then shut her eyes. ‘‘That’s my girl’‘ I laughed quietly. Then I nodded, letting my goons know that we could go back to our hideout.

I would take Y/N back home and make sure she wouldn’t leave ever again. She was mine. Nothing like this could happen then. She’d be with me..only me..

The Joker x Reader - “25 Signs The Joker is Into You”

Related: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/166889332871/the-joker-x-reader-13-hints-the-joker-wants-a

1.  The Joker burns down your house because he wants you to stay at the penthouse all the time.

“Baby, did you do this?!” you ask since he’s the prime suspect in your books.

“Nope,” the short answer doesn’t give him extra points.

“Are you sure???”

“Innocent until proven guilty, Doll.”

2.   J tells you he hates you all the time.

“What did I do?!” you pout, upset.

“Nothing, I just hate you.”

You frown and he kisses you, irritated:

“Tough it out, Princess! Life is cruel.”

3.   He tolerates your cat.

The fluffy thing can’t stand him. The feeling is mutual.

Every time kitty sees J, she hisses.

“Likewise!” he growls. But at night she cuddles by his side, purring and he purrs too. It’s a contest and J wins on a regular basis. He’s so proud of himself.

4.   He indirectly compliments you when you are insecure.

“My thighs are as big as tree trunks!” you complain, analyzing yourself the mirror.

“Who gave you that idea? Did somebody say something to you?”  your boyfriend gets pissed, thinking he’s gonna kill the asshole that insulted his Queen.

“No…Yuck, all the cellulite,” you pinch your skin, horrified.


“Can’t you see?”

“Who the hell cares, woman?! You look fine. Stop your drama, I’m not in the mood!”

“I’m so fat!” you sigh, ignoring him.

“Yes, you are FAT: Fiesty, Annoying and Terrible!”

You finally smile and The Joker sniffles, not wanting to admit he loves it when he’s the source of your happiness.

5.   He lets you mess up his perfectly styled hair, aware it calms you down when you’re stressed out. Usually, J is the main source of that stress so…his way of making it up to you.

6.   He engages in foreplay (which he normally never has patience for) knowing how much you enjoy it.

7.   The Joker likes to expose himself to you as often as possible.

Takes his clothes off really fast, waiting for you to pass by when you walk in the backyard. Opens the glass sliding door too, just in case.

“Oh my God!” J hears you squeal.

“That’s right, Pumpkin, feast your eyes!” he nonchalantly stretches, flexing his muscles in the process.

“Oh my God!” another enthusiastic squeal. He arrogantly smirks, pleased with his achievement.

8.   J rubs your feet when they hurt after wearing high heels all day.

9.    He blows up the new house you bought since there’s no way he wants you to stay away from the penthouse.

“Baby, did you do this?!” you have to inquire again, frustrated.


“Are you 100% sure?!”

“Innocent until proven guilty, Princess.”

10.   The Joker can’t sleep without you, that’s why you always have to get back by nightfall. If you don’t, the next day is his turn to keep you up all night… with sex. Gotta pay for those dark circles under his eyes.

11.   When you’re sick, he kidnaps the best doctors and brings them over to make sure you’re not dying or something.

12.   He makes your favorite tea, even if he thinks it’s too much work to boil the water.

13.   He actually takes into consideration what you like in bed and doesn’t give up until you scream his name like crazy.

14.   J turns one of the smaller bedrooms at the penthouse into your own ”girl room.”

Anything you might need is always there: tampons, make-up, perfume, favorite chocolate, body lotions, bubble bath, shower gels, pink champagne, condoms (although  unused, but he thinks they look cool).

15.   The Joker cancels meetings when you send him naughty pics.

“Daddy, are you gonna make it home in time or should I start without you?”

16.    He pulls you in his lap when you pass by and just stares in your eyes without saying a word.

“Umm, you don’t like my outfit?” you try to guess, nervous.

No answer.

You become more anxious.

“You should have told me, I’ll go change.”

J keeps on staring.

“OK, I’ll be back shortly.”

You try to get up and he stops you.

“You’re pretty,” he sighs, softly kissing your lips.

17.    He counts the freckles on your shoulders when you sleep, hoping you’ll get more because he finds them cute.

18.   Your boyfriend lets you give him hickeys. It’s implied you’ll pay for it later but he likes it when you go crazy on him.

19.     The Joker floods the apartment you purchased yesterday.

Apparently, you won’t be able to live anywhere else but the penthouse.

“Baby, did you do this?!”


“Are you lying to me?!”

“Innocent until proven guilty, Pumpkin.”

20.   When you take naps, he kisses the tip of your nose and watches you smile in your sleep. He finds it adorable.

21.   J makes sure you can’t walk straight for 2 or 3 days if you tease him while he has important business to attend to. But he also makes sure you get to relax with him in the Jacuzzi.

22.    He buys you a new cat after yours dies.

J hates cats but you like them so…perfect present.

The new kitty adores The King of Gotham, always purrs in his lap. At night, he purrs when you caress his hair and the cat purrs because J pets it. It’s puurrrfect.

23.   He texts you love poems (thanks to Google, appreciated nevertheless)

“Roses are red

Foxes are clever        

I like your butt

Let me touch it forever.”

24.   The Joker reads to you when you have bad cramps, aware that’s the only way you will dose off.

His favorite is “Database Issues in Geographic Information Systems”. Boring as hell, puts you out in less than 5 minutes, this way J doesn’t have to deal with your crankiness. Affection Joker style, but it still counts.

25.   He doesn’t kill you when you tell him you’re pregnant

He’s not big on kids, not thrilled when hearing the news. 

“Did you get pregnant on purpose, Princess?!” J interrogates.


“Are you sure?!” your short reply makes him doubt.

“Innocent until proven guilty, baby.”