Let’s excuse my dirty mirror for a second and I’m gonna tell y'all a story. Saturday while I was at work I was moving some equipment the whole time I feel like someone is staring at me. I could never tell where it was coming from until out of nowhere this guy walks up to me and says in his thick accent, “ why don’t you go to the gym?”
I paused a second trying to process what he’d just said and so he repeated himself.
“Why don’t you do to the gym? Don’t you want to lose weight? You’re going to ruin your life and someone else’s”
I was at a loss for words. I know I’m not thin by a long shot but wow I didn’t realize I was so grossly fat that I needed life advice from strangers. I was immediately down on myself…but only for a split second then I came back to reality. Fuck that mothafucka. You wouldn’t know how hard I was jiggling if your damn eyes weren’t ping ponging back and forth every time I move. Worry about the wife you got at home.

By the end of it I couldn’t even recall how many motherfuckas I’d called him.