mission companions

actual things that happen in the Book of Mormon/why it is the most Extra™ musical ever
  • “Have fun in hell!”
  • *doorbell buzzes* “HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHANGE RELIGIONS I HAVE A FREE BOOK WRITTEN BY JESUS”
  • Norway: land of gnomes and trolls
  • France: land of pastries and turtlenecks
  • Japan: land of soy sauce and Mothra
  • Elder Price’s lifelong dream is to get sent on a mission to Orlando, Florida, but instead he gets sent to Uganda
  • “UGANDA! COOL! ….where is that.”
  • Kevin goes along with the happy upbeat choreography despite feeling extremely ripped off
  • “well, he has a very active imagination–” “I LIE A LOT!” “no”
  • Kevin’s dad actually gets a random woman to dress up like someone in The Lion King and sing Circle of Life
  • “Personally I like Star Wars, but I’m willing to like Star Trek more if you think it’s better”
  • the writers probably only made Price’s first name Kevin because it rhymed with heaven
  • You and Me (But Mostly Me) aka every group project ever
  • Arnold tries to make a video diary
  • Josh Gad screaming
  • the entirety of Hasa Diga Eebowai (it’s such a jam though)
  • “Raise your middle finger to the sky and curse his rotten name!” “wait what”
  • “Well, let’s see. Eebowai means God, and Hasa Diga means, Fuck you. So I guess in English it would be: Fuck you, God!” “WHAT?!
  • Cunningham gets REALLY into it.
  • someone tries to fuck a baby
  • “But that’s horrible!” “I know!” “Hasa Diga Eebowai!”
  • everyone has AIDS
  • Nabulungi has the purest expression on her face while doing the most vulgar choreography ever
  • All the nicknames for Nabulungi, including but not limited to: Bambamchelfi, Jon Bon Jovi, Hockaloogie, Nagasaki, Nabagamba, Neutrogena, Neosporin, Nintendo 64, Nordstrom, and Nutella
  • Elder Poptarts
  • a fun, lighthearted tap number about repressing your emotions
  • Elder Thomas was out buying an iPhone while his sister was dying of cancer
  • “My hetero side just won” *thumps chest*
  • when the lights go down and when they go back up all of the Mormons are dancing and wearing pink sparkly vests. Including Kevin.
  • “Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes, then find the box that’s gay and CRUSH IT!
  • Andrew fucking Rannells had to have the words “no, no, i’m not having gay thoughts” come out of his mouth
  • the sound of tap dancing in the background as Elder McKinley leaves the living quarters
  • “There is no Bishop Donaghue! I made him up!”
  • arnold cunningham just wants his dad to be proud of him for once
  • Cunningham steals Price’s blanket despite having one of his own
  • Nabulungi uses a typewriter as a texting device
  • Cunningham has a panic attack when he sees that there’s no doorbell
  • Gotswana has maggots in his scrotum
  • “what the fuck is a steak knife”
  • General Butt Fucking Naked
  • Nabulungi, one of the purest characters in musical theatre, singing “soon life won’t be so… shitty”
  • AFRICA IS NOTHING LIKE THE LION KING.
  • “So he crawled up on that cross, and he stuck it out” hjdhfjqgfhnjs
  • Elder Cunningham hip thrusting to rock metal
  • “YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER” *stabs Darth Vader*
  • “Heavenly Father, why do you let bad things happen? More to the point, why do you let bad things happen to me?”
  • “We will listen to the fat white guy”
  • right as Act 1 ends, Gotswana reminds us that he has maggots in his scrotum
  • “i know you’re really depressed, what with all your AIDS and everything,”
  • Arnold’s conscience consists of his father, Joseph Smith, Moroni, hobbits, and Yoda
  • arnold convinces everyone that fucking a frog is the solution to all your problems
  • clitoris
  • Boba Fett
  • Kevin mistakes hell for disneyworld
  • Elder Price has spent his life plagued by guilt over blaming his brother for eating a donut with maple glaze when he was five (5) years old
  • Elder Price has a nightmare that he gets sent to hell and Jesus calls him a dick
  • spooky wooky
  • Hitler makes an appearance, because of course he does
  • Elder Price thinks abandoning your mission companion is worse than serial murder and genocide
  • McKinley dancing seductively with the red boa
  • Jeffrey Dahmer and Kevin’s dad having anal sex
  • McKinley blowing Hitler
  • the music stops just so Kevin can scream that he can’t believe Jesus called him a dick
  • “That would take something… incredible” *spotlight on Kevin as his head whips around to face the audience fast enough to get whiplash*
  • Andrew Rannells licking his lips every other line at the Tonys
  • “AND I BELIEVE THAT IN 1978, GOD CHANGED HIS MIND ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE” (“BLACK PEOPLE”)
  • Elder Price forces General Butt Fucking Naked to dance with him
  • baptism is a euphemism for sex
  • “I’M WET WITH SALVATION”
  • A song called I Am Africa sung by the whitest people ever with the whitest choreography ever
  • Elder Price actually gets the Book of Mormon shoved up his ass
  • “let us smile and laughrica”
  • Elder Price drinks twelve (12) cups of coffee because he’s lost all faith in the Mormon religion
  • just fucking. planet orlando
  • orlando (reprise)
  • “I’m Joseph Smith, and I’m going to fuck this baby!” “WHAT”
  • Moroni from the Starship Enterprise
  • “Will you fight the clitoris man?”
  • magical fuck frog
  • “Let’s be really fucking polite to everyone!”
  • the dysentary sequence
  • Jesus wanting everyone to fuck each other and everyone wears HUGE dick garments
  • “SHE’S GONNA GET HER CLIT CUT OFF AND IT’S ALL MY FAULT”
  • Nabulungi convinces everyone that Elder Cunningham was eaten by lions and then Cunningham walks in and they’re like “HE HAS RISEN”
  • “If you do not get out of this village right now, he is gonna command the Angel Moroni… from the DEATH STAR… and unleash the KRAKEN! Which will then…” “Which will then launch Joseph Smith’s TORPEDOES from its mouth of CHRIST and turn you into a LESBIAN!”
  • the fact that that somehow scares off General Butt Fucking Naked
  • elder price says fuck
  • “my name is Elder Butt Fucking Naked.” (brief pause) “did you know that the clitoris is a holy sacred thing”
  • The book of Arnold
  • the last line of the show is literally Gotswana singing “I still have maggots in my scrotum!”

i started a rogue run of da2 after a few years of just mages because i missed bethany and here are some immediate thoughts


  • i miss carver. i missed beth, too, which is why i’m playing with her now, but the game just feels kinda empty without both of them there.
  • bethany is, overall, a lot more talkative, a lot more social
  • and talks a lot softer. it’s hard to pick up much force in her voice sometimes, almost like she sounds bored/detatched from things. it’s less noticable in later missions and with certain companions, tho
  • bethany talks about carver a lot, while carver usually only talks about her when others bring her up. one of her first banters with Varric is about Carver (the braid dialogue)
  • carver, by contrast, seems almost reluctant sometimes even to talk. for someone who wants attention it kinda feels like he’s resigned himself to not being spoken to at all
  • he also seems to not want to mourn, or even acknowledge that bethany is gone. when he and hawke argue later, carver brings up that leandra isn’t coping well either and it kinda feels (is never stated, so this is pure interpretation) that carver internalizes his feelings about it
  • another hc is maybe if he doesn’t acknowledge that she’s gone, then she isn’t. if he doesn’t accept that she’s dead, he can see her again.
  • he’s clearly better about it by the time legacy swings around

Book of Mormon AU where the roles are switched.
- Conner McKinley is sent to Uganda with his mission companion Elder Thomas (aka Elder Poptarts)
- When they arrive they’re greeted by a woman with an eyepatch named General Nabulungi who steals their bags
- They’re then greeted by Elder Price who sings about turning off his emotions and gay thoughts
- Elder Cunningham sings about turning off the urge to make things up and lie
- Kobe (general butt-fucking-naked) is Mafala’s son and becomes interested in Salt Lake City and becoming a Mormon

Frye Twins x Reader ~ Family

Originally posted by assassinscreed


People say in your final moment, your life flashes before your eyes.

It does.

The first two decades of your life, you would say, weren’t really exciting. Being the only child in your family you continued the legacy of your parents. Born and raised in Crawley you trained with the reckless Ethan Frye to become a Master Assassin. Matching to his longing to court danger you were a free spirit yourself. The two of you were almost like siblings. Inseparable and the perfect team to take out the Templars. Well, until Ethan met Cecily – his future wife.

You were on your own again during missions, but you didn’t really mind the loneliness. It changed rather fast, when you saved George Westhouse’s life. You took him to the Brotherhood so he can join and become your new partner.  

In the meantime, the Brotherhood in Crawley got a fifth member. Duncan Hardy – your future husband. So a handful of highly skilled Assassins should be more enough to take back London from the Templars. 100 years they had the upper hand. It had been the time to change that. Or so.

1847 changed everything for you and the Brotherhood in general. Ethan and Cecily were expecting a child, while Duncan and you weren’t blessed in that way. Yes, you were happy for them and jealous at the same time.  

A day before the twins were born, Ethan fails on his mission miserably, which resulted in Duncan, his current partner, getting killed. Unfortunately, you didn’t have the chance to mourn over your loss. On the 9th November 1847 Cecily died after giving birth to Evie and Jacob Frye. Healthy twins.

“Cecily, please, you can’t do this to me! They need their mother”, you cradle the little bundle in your arms hoping to stop Evie from screaming, while Jacob takes a nap on the bed. Born and already a lazy ass. Cecily flashes you a slight smile, which doesn’t reach her tired eyes. Her time is slowly running out, but at least she knows her two angels are in good hands. In yours and Ethan’s.

“You are going to be such a great mother. I would be honored if you take care of them. Please”, how could you say no to her begging eyes? And after all, to be a mother is still a wish of yours. “Sure, I will do my best”, you mumble under your breath trying not to choke on your tears.

Like Cecily has been waiting for your answer, the sparkle in her eyes dies. The door gets pushed open as Ethan rushes in the room panting heavily. True happiness appears on his face, but it doesn’t last long. “Cecily? Cecily!”, you step into his way before he can reach his deceased wife. You got a last look at Duncan’s dull eyes, which are hunting you in your dreams. He shouldn’t endure the same.

“Take care of Evie. I’ll coordinate everything else. We got this, Ethan”, you have no idea how you will keep everything under control, but it will work out somehow. The Master Assassin flashes his hidden blade just an inch under your chin, “Don’t tell me what to do!” Nothing is going to work out well.

Without a word you swipe away the blade from your skin. Then you wrap Evie and Jacob up in a blanket to carry them out of the room. “Ethan-”, you try your luck to talk some sense into his head, but he cuts you off rudely, “Out!” The Grief takes the best of him. Hopefully he will get himself back on track. The twins need their father. 

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