I stayed up until 5am every night just to talk to you and I didn’t mind it one bit because tired eyes were nothing compared to the smiles you put on my face just by simply seeing your name pop up on my screen. and I think you were meant to destroy me, slowly. because piece by piece you took me apart but it was so gradual and slow I didn’t even notice it. it started with staying up until 5am when I had to wake up at 10 the next day. and even now, I still have trouble sleeping right because I always wanna see your name on my screen. and then it was you ‘forgetting’ to respond, or you picking her over me but what do you do when you love someone and they love someone else? you wait. you wait because you know they’ll be heartbroken and you just know you have to mend it back again and so you wait. and I waited, months. and when your heart was shattered on the floor I did everything I could to sweep it up and make it new again. but you never let me close enough to give you it back, because you always wanted her and it killed me. because no matter how good I tried to be, no matter how much i changed myself it was never good enough and honestly, I don’t think it ever will be. so when you stopped talking to me I stayed up until 5am and I listened to sad songs until all that was in my head were the lyrics to 'I can’t make you love me’ instead of my thoughts that suffocated me but still, I find it hard to breathe sometimes when I think about how desperate I was for your love. but now I know, you can’t make anyone love you. not even if you shred your heart so their broken pieces can seem more full, more put together. not even if you break yourself for them, or give yourself up entirely for them because love cannot be forced when you love them with all your heart and they love someone else with all of theirs.
—  I can’t make you love me, if you don’t // ig writingmyself
There are times when I find myself needing to talk to you. I don’t think it’s so much because I still love you. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that I always will. No. I find myself wanting to hear your voice because no matter how it ended, whatever you did or didn’t do, it doesn’t change the fact that you were my best friend. In the end you’re the only person who knows me better than I know myself. And in these moments, when all I really want is to have the comfort of you being there, I just… It just makes me really, really miss you. That’s all.
—  Confessions p.1 // Genefe Navilon
Do you know how after a long day, you finally lay in bed and realize just how much your feet have been hurting you? That’s how I feel about you. At the end of the day, I’m finally still enough to feel the dull ache of your absence. I don’t want to miss you, but for some reason, I welcome the pain. I enjoy the reminder that you were really here.
—  The pain you left is still you